Yesterday was still hectic AF. I don't even know what's been up lately with how busy everything is at work, but there you have it. In the afternoon, I had this large project to do that required I not get interrupted. In the past, I went down to our mostly empty "Garden Level" at work … Continue reading June gets rear-ended *And not in the good way*

What day even is this? Since Thursday I've had this breakneck work pace and I'm not even sure. If it's the next Thursday I'm screwed because I didn't take the trash out. [opens calender] ...Oh. Okay, good. Snowflake not worry bout a thing. Snowflake the foster kitten seems to have a bit of an upper … Continue reading Alec Baldwin and Gremlins

On Friday, I had too much work to do. Most of my day was spent hunched tensely in the open floor plan, thinking don't talk to me don't talk to me don't talk to me. As hard as I tried, I didn't get everything done. When I finally left work, it showed I'd last checked … Continue reading Sometimes it snows in August

In case it isn't evident, I have the ADD. I know that's hard to believe, what with the linear posts and all. But this week I have so many things to remember that are out of my regular routine, and I guess "regular routine" is sort of redundant. The point is, that frazzles me. Because … Continue reading ADD it up

I have the best possible news: I finally used up the bad toilet paper! I think I got it in, like, December, at an Office Depot or some other chain that has no business selling TP, and they were having a sale for some enormous quantity of rolls for like a dollar ninety-nine or something, … Continue reading Our lady of the acorn

It's not even 7:30 yet and I've already packed a lotta living into this day. I woke up at 5:30 to go to trainer, and what I like to do when I'm getting dressed is talk to my Google Home. The night before, I lay out all my exercise-y clothes in the living room so … Continue reading My secrets to reveal

I haven't had real TV in years, and then a few months back, in a fit of financial flexing, I got rid of Netflix and Amazon Prime as well. I thought this might make me a richer, more well-read person but mostly it's made me a bored person. And that is why I lugged out … Continue reading Carrie Bradshaw is an anxious attacher

Did you ever see the movie Psycho? Even if you haven't, I imagine at this point you're aware there's a shower scene. I tell you this not because I've been hacked to bits in my shower, which I might have led with, but because if you've seen the movie, you might recall the odd joyfulness … Continue reading You’re invited to June’s shower

Now that I'm getting up a little after 5:00 SOME mornings, to go to the trainer, I seem to be waking up a little after 5:00 MOST mornings, whether I need to go to the trainer or not. Which is sort of hideous and yet sort of convenient. It's 6:50 a.m. now and I've already … Continue reading Zapateado

Yesterday after work, I ate the world and then lay on my couch to watch Sex and the City like it's 1999. I've been thinking in order to shame self into eating better, I should photograph everything I eat---like my coworker Griff is inexplicably starting to do---and make you all look at it. My food, … Continue reading Nutterbutter June

I'm not one of those people or orange cats who hate Mondays. I never mind having to go back to work. And now I've just guaranteed it's going to be the most shit-ass day. Anyway, here it is, Monday morning, and often when it's time to blog https://youtu.be/MKEQm10-n84 I sit here on Mondays and think, … Continue reading Straighten up and bi-rite.

I know it's, like, noon and how annoying is old June, keeping you guessing about when she's gonna post? The fact is, I had a dental procedure this morning, early, and the thought of going to work after, all numb and also headachy from holding my body completely stiff in utter terror for two hours … Continue reading There’s something about Harry

As I drove home from the trainer this morning at 6:45, my whole goal was to get home, feed the pets, make coffee, shower, and start blogging by 7:15 AND I DID IT. That's all. Goodbye. harrrr. It takes me about 7 minutes to drive to said trainer's when it's not yet sunrise (and by … Continue reading June, the giant cotton fluff of pink fun

I have decided that the flowerbed in my front yard is a lot like me: Sort of neglected, randomly attractive through no effort on my part, and mostly in need of serious work that I'm probably not gonna do. It has these...hugging-the-ground weeds taking over. My flowerbed, not me. They almost look like a fern … Continue reading You can’t hide your lion eyes

I got up at 5:45, brushed teeth, slapped on my Delta College t-shirt, worked out with m'trainer--although let's talk about how I have no core. I'm like a hollowed-out apple. Anyway, then I came home, fed everyone with four legs, showered, sat under the Laila Ali dryer so I wouldn't look drowned at work even … Continue reading Oh, God.

Well, I'm up. I got up early and even brushed m'teeth to go to my trainer, and when I got there, she was just leaving with her two gigantic dogs. "Oh, you have the wrong day!" she said. "It's Friday!" I was all, do I? I mean, you guys know how I am. I know … Continue reading Carefree highway

I forgot to tell you that last week, the woman who owns my house, fmr., texted. Her name is also "June" but she spells it differently. Let's say she spells it Karin. "There's a package here for you," she wrote. I'd given her my contact info just in case Steely Dan comes back, which I … Continue reading In which June remembers more stuff she didn’t tell you

Perhaps, since I haven't written in awhile, you wonder if something dramatic happened. It pains me to say nothing did. For dramatic announcements: They're where I get my strength. But I have none. The truth is, I just had stuff to do that wasn't in my regular rotation, so I got messed up. Like, the … Continue reading June returns from buying things

You know how I like it when the holidays are over? I feel the same way about my birthday. I'm glad to return back to normal. Yesterday there weren't five minutes that went by that I wasn't in some way acknowledging my bday, and even I was over it, much less anyone else. Nevertheless, I … Continue reading That’s a big five-four, good buddy

In case you haven't seen it in your local paper yet, it's my birthday. By the way, this weekend a neighbor was over, and she saw my Pop Tart on the wall. "Miss June. Is that a Pop Tart?" I assured her that it was. "You paid money for a POP TART?" Well, actually, it … Continue reading Will you still need me, will you still read me when I’m 54