June's stupid life · Los Angeles

Eeyore called. Wants his outlook back.

Sorry I didn't type you yesterday. I have been glum glum glum. As a result, I haven't exercised, and yesterday I had Hamburger Helper and mashed potatoes for dinner.

Which, as a surprising result, means I have lost no weight yet this month. Really?! After Hamburger Helper and mashed potatoes?

For a while there I was down a pound, and now I am back up. Crap. Of course, the point of this year is to be healthy, not lose weight, but I was hoping I would just a little anyway.

You know, seriously, I was not content in LA. It is huge, there is no public transportation so you spend half your life in traffic, and it was too expensive. We made scads of money yet no way could we afford a house. But it turns out? I am not so happy in the world's smallest town, either. In fact, I am kind of 1988 depressed. And for anyone who knew me in 1988, you know that isn't pretty.

Why did we have to be so extreme? Why'd we have to go from the second-largest city in America to a town with three thousand people? I guess the answer to that is that this is where Marvin got a job. But I think we have to go. We have to move to Raleigh or Charlotte or something. I need yoga. I need gay men. I need people with tattoos, other than myself. (A ring of forget-me-nots and crescent moons on one ankle, and the Eiffel Tower on the other ankle. Sue me. I lived in Seattle, it was a prerequisite for living there.)

I have been here six months and I do not feel any better. It's not like I haven't been out and about, either. And to no longer have a full-time job proofreading is depressing me. It was part of who I was. And let's face it, I am a terrible secretary. All of this has led to me kind of hating poor Marvin Gardensalad, who really is not to blame. But he's so nearby so it's easy to hate his guts about this.

So I have been online applying for every proofreader job in the state of North Carolina, of which there are two. No, really. Two. There are seven million proofreader positions offered in NY and LA — including my last job, but I think that's just because the new person is still going through their probationary status.

So that's the weepy news over here. I know I am no fun to hear from today. If I cheer up after doing a big run on the treadmill, you'll be the first to know.

28 thoughts on “Eeyore called. Wants his outlook back.

  1. My sister and her husband moved to LA from New York 3 and a half years ago, and she cried herself to sleep every night for the first 2 years, she was so depressed. I don’t know why I told you that… I guess I just wanted you to know there are people who can empathize with you, even though this was a year and some months ago.

    Like

  2. Greenville, SC is a really great little city. Unfortunately I cannot live there, but my folks aren’t far and we all love Greenville. I am in Boston several times per month but I have my parents ship me espresso beans from a roastery in Greenville!

    Like

  3. Hang in there, June – you have lasted 6 months in a tiny town without having to be committed to the loony bin. That is an accomplishment. :o) In fact, you have made friends at the church, at the wacky gardening club, etc, which is more than a lot of people would accomplish.
    And, I don’t mean that you have to be crazy to live and love small towns (my in-laws live 3 hours from the nearest major airport in a town of 2500, and they are mostly not-crazy :o) ). Small town life can be exactly what people want and need – slower pace and quieter life.
    But, June, it’s pretty obvious you are not a small-town gal. I concur with the Asheville and Charlotte recommendations – hatch a plan to get out, you don’t have to move far. Even if it’s not going to happen for several months or a year, make a plan – it’ll make it more concrete that you don’t have to stay permanently, and it’ll give you something to look forward to.

    Like

  4. Checked back in to see what others have said since this morning – cuz I’m worried about you – and I have to agree with another commentator – Sheri. As she says, if you need tattoos and gay men, chances are where you’re at’s not for you. And I do know you, and I know how social you are, not to mention creative. People like you need stimulation. Asheville is nice….. There must be a compromise that works for you and for Marvin. Must be.

    Like

  5. I’ve made several cross-country moves and most of them have gone well. The one that didn’t was when I moved from NYC to Seattle. I could not make a friend to save my life. I was a college Junior living alone off campus. I got an on-campus job and joined every student organization that I could find but nothing worked. I went from having dozens of friends and a very active social life in New York to not speaking from Friday night at 5pm until Monday morning at 8am because I had no one to speak to. One day, while i was eating at a mall food court, a lady with bright blue hair sat down across from me and told me all about how she had moved from San Diego to Seattle and really missed her friends but she was trying to enjoy it because she knew she could always go back. Then she left. I could not believe how much good that did me. I did move back to NYC but for the rest of that year I went to every monument, national park and famous Seattle place by myself and loved every minute of it. Knowing it wasn’t permanent made it so much better. Hang in there, June. Sounds like you’ll be leaving your town within the next year or two. You can make it.

    Like

  6. Oh, my friend. The treadmill will only help for about five minutes. Don’t do that today. What would really help is losing yourself in a big vat of Ben & Jerry’s. Then once that’s done, make a list of what you are lacking. Friends? More challenging work? Hustle and bustle? Once you know precisely what’s wrong, then you can work on figuring out how to fix it. Don’t lose heart yet. We’ve moved 13 times in six states and it always takes me about a year to feel at home. I have days JUST LIKE YOU’RE HAVING in that first year. After that, things seem to settle down. Hang in there.
    Oh, and the title of this post? LOVED it.

    Like

  7. So I promised I would comment and you obviously put your heart into this post. I am sorry you are so down. I cannot imagine how hard it is to move from a city of 5 billion to a town that has to change its population sign every time someone moves. It is obvious how hard you have tried to make a place for yourself there, but if you need tattoos and gay men you need to move. And while I do not know you, I sense that you need to be around people. You are too social to work from home or some small town Church. I think 20/20 recently did a survey and found that Asheville was the happiest place in the US. How far away it that?

    Like

  8. I’m with Kelly Garrett…. Come to the DC area; I’m certain Marvin can get something up here (as can you), and there’s plenty to do for fun and plenty of gay men up here, BELIEVE me. Come to me, June! We’ll run 14-minute miles along the Potomac River every day in the warm sunshine, and go to the beach whenever we want!

    Like

  9. Dear June, my favorite proofreader (besides Mabel Peach), I’m sorry you’re feeling so down.
    Having grown up in and then escaped one of them, I can tell you that small towns are not for everyone. (That’s why so few people live in them.)
    Whatever you do and wherever you go, don’t leave this blog behind.

    Like

  10. Start getting the hell out of dodge!
    I think you should live in Northern Virginia. Something tells me there are pleny of proofreading jobs in the nation’s capitol and Marvin could find a teaching job in either Virginia, the District, Maryland, or West Virginia and it would all be no more than an hour commute.

    Like

  11. June! I can so relate to this! We left So Cal in 2003 when our (expletive deleted) landlord decided to sell the house we had lived in and worked on for 11 years. We couldn’t find anything affordable to rent or buy (the beginning of a sellers market), so we went to No Idaho to caretake a friends vacation property. Talk about culture shock! We lived at the end of a gravel road, going to town for a loaf of bread was a three hour commitment (45 minutes to “civilization”)and I found that EVERYTIME I drove by a grocery store I would pick up groceries just in case. I loved parts of it, but got tired of worrying about losing electricity (no power to pump water) and also worried that if anything happened, we had to call for the emergency helicopter and give them our latitude and longitude so they could find us. After 11 months we left and went to a job in Reno. Okay, more civilization, but just not the place for me. Now we live in No Cal and I love it! I still have times missing the stores I’m used to, but I am beginning (we’ve been here since April) to feel more settled and am finding a place for myself.
    I so understand how you can look around and wonder how you got where you are and why you “jumped” so fast. There’s a compromise out there for both of you. Now you know that living in the car is no kind of life (LA), and small towns don’t offer enough when you are used to having more of what a city has to offer.
    Talk to Marvin (I’m sure you have, you don’t seem to be the type to bottle it up)move some area bigger than where you are. I realized that I love the country but need to have a city close by. This works for us, but it took moving around to figure it all out. Start taking some time on the weekends to travel around and find a new place for yourselves. You’ll find that will lift your mood.
    Mary Ellen
    Napa

    Like

  12. Would it help to know that you’ve been an inspiration to me? Cause you have, both with this blog and the other one.
    I so wish that I could get that “endorphin high” that athletes talk about. Maybe in my next life. In this life, I find mashed potatoes far more reliable. Try to watch a funny movie. It’s usually a simple, noncaloric way to perk up your day. I highly recommend Superbad.

    Like

  13. How far are you from Charoltte? There might be suitable jobs there. Your treadmill will help boost your mood. I’m really sorry you are have such a hard time in that little town. There’s a book you need to read, “Moving to a Small Town”. I forget the author, but she and her husband dumped high paying jobs in the entertainment and/or movie industry in LA and moved to southern VA and took over his Mom & Dad’s business growing apples in a little small town on the border of NC. Lots of insight into adjusting to a small town. I’m having great difficulty typing w/Oscar Snuggles in my lap. You still make me laugh, even though you are down. 🙂

    Like

  14. I love it when someone calls. That’s my favorite. I will be so sad if you move. Not that it has any impact whatsoever on my life. I just like knowing that we are distant neighbors. Hope you find a really fun job. Really soon.

    Like

  15. June, move on down to Charlotte! Or at least, bust your diet at the Penguin Drive-In, where you can have fried pickles and tattooed wait staff.
    Of course, you’ll need a couple of hours on the treadmill afterwards!
    Your pal Val in Monroe

    Like

  16. I hope you are able to move to a bigger city, I believe you would feel much better.
    I spent 6 months in Charlotte – coming from NYC, where I’m back now – and I didn’t have a problem to adapt to the city, mostly because it has plenty of bookstores and enough cultural life with theater plays and museum exhibitions to make us feel “in contact with civilization”.

    Like

  17. Have you thought at all about tech-writing? I live in Raleigh, and don’t know of many proof-reading positions, but there are TONS of tech companies down here.
    Just started reading your blog, and I love it! Makes me smile everyday.

    Like

  18. Eeyore was my favorite toy when I was three. We went on a trip to visit my Mothers family in the states and poor Eeyore got lost in Disney land. I was devastated!
    My mum used to tell me that Eeyore wanted to go home to Disney land because that was where he belonged. All his friends were there. It made me feel better.
    Home is where the heart is June. Where is your heart? I think it’s wherever Marvin Gardensalad is.
    Thinking of you. Know how it feels to be blue.
    Just remember how many smiles you generate a day with your great blog. What a great person you are to spread joy like that.

    Like

  19. I want you to come back to Michigan so we can befriend each other in real life. Seriously. Ann Arbor has all the qualities you need in a town.

    Like

  20. Awww I really am sorry that you are so blue June. I know what it’s like to move far away from what you call home. I have something to tell you that is uplifting .. perhaps not a real depression breaker .. but uplifting all the same .. you probably have lost fat weight but gained muscle mass which is weight so it’s all good. Do your clothes feel looser yet? If not they will soon.
    I hope you find something or someone who will help you over your sad mood. Perhaps when Marvin Gardensalad’s contract is up a move would be possible .. there’s something for you to look forward to. Hugs June! :o)

    Like

  21. When is Marvin Gardensalad’s contract up? Most districts are interviewing now for next year. There are probably positions opening in some of the bigger towns near you.
    By the way, I love your blog but hate to respond. Always worry about the proofing. Does it help to say I was an engineer before being a SAHM? English was my worst subject.
    I do hope you feel better soon.

    Like

  22. UGHHHH. I’m so sorry you are down. And I don’t blame you a bitty bit. I would hate it there too. So. How far is Charlotte or Raleigh from Marvin Gardensalad’s job? I giggle every time I read Marvin Gardensalad. I hope you like one of those towns better. I say go for Charlotte. It’s bigger and newer, right? ((hug))

    Like

  23. Wow, sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. I hope things get better for you soon.
    BTW, I like the title of your post.

    Like

  24. Have you looked in Michigan?
    MarvinGardensalad is a teacher no? I mean, the economy here sucks eggs, but is another move possible? Or some travel to work remotely? (not necessarily a free-lance proofreader, but a real honest-to-gawd employee who works remotely?)
    Anyway, I’m sorry you’re feeling sad. But mashed potatoes are a great comfort food.

    Like

  25. Have you looked in Michigan?
    MarvinGardensalad is a teacher no? I mean, the economy here sucks eggs, but is another move possible? Or some travel to work remotely? (not necessarily a free-lance proofreader, but a real honest-to-gawd employee who works remotely?)
    Anyway, I’m sorry you’re feeling sad. But mashed potatoes are a great comfort food.

    Like

  26. Hey June,
    So sorry to hear you’re down. I wish I knew something great to say to cheer you up. I feel for you and am sending you an inter-hug.

    Like

Comments are closed.