For those of you wildcats still up at 10:44 p.m., which is when I am beginning this post, you will not HAVE to wait a whole night to hear about June's Adventures in Albemarle. That is because I am telling them to you now, Colombo. I would have thought the first sentence was self-explanatory.
First of all, the drive there is all country roads take me home, all the time. There are rolling hills, cotton fields, deer, cows, and do you know what else? SHEEPS and BABY SHEEPS!
Every time we drive past the sheep, I squeal and wave and carry on in my generally undignified way. But today? When I saw there were bitty lambs out there, too? I just pulled into the people's driveway. I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I sat in their driveway for like 15 minutes, just staring at those lambs. One was so young he could barely walk, and he kept chasing after his mom for titty dinner, as my grandmother used to so eloquently put it.
It was a farm, obviously, so these people had a driveway that was 75,000 miles long (or maybe it was a meter), so they probably did not even notice the woman in the VW Bug waving at the lambs. Anyway, it was delightful and I barely even worried about getting anthrax.
Finally, I made it to Vac and Dash, the running store that also sells vacuums. Do you know I was in there for more than an hour? I was the only person in there, and I got a parking spot right in front of the store, like they do in the movies. I had the best time! The owner loved my line "I suck at running, so I'm getting my shoes at a vacuum store" so much that he's putting it on a Tshirt.
I got me some fancy shoes, and some padded double something-or-0ther socks, and he threw in a free long-sleeved Tshirt from the store that reads, "Vac and Dash. We'll get there eventually."
He hosts many running events in Albemarle, this guy. He was encouraging me to join him, and when I told him I ran a 14-minute mile, he and his employee laughed like they thought I was kidding. Sad.
Finally, I got home just in time to join Marvin Gardensalad and many of his teacher friends for a night of bowling. They had completely changed their original plans and were (a) bowling at night and (b) bowling in a different city, because THAT bowling alley sells drinks. Did I mention all of Marvin's other teacher friends are like 24?
We had a great time. I bowled a STUNNING 83, and when I said, "Eighty-three! The year I graduated!" two of the teachers said, "Eighty-three. The year I was born." Could someone just beat me with a pin?
So, I guess we could say I got in some physical activity today. If bowling really counts. One of the other teachers and I decided we needed to lift weights and come back to the alley in a few months, because by the second game, I could barely throw that eight-pound ball. I also stuck the ball under my shirt and tried to imagine being really pregnant, and I do not know how you women ever did that while maintaining a happy attitude. It seems like it'd be uncomfortable.
Maybe I should join that running group in Albemarle, even though I'd be the loser slow runner. Maybe it'd increase my time. Maybe I could move in with the sheep farmers so I'd have a slower commute. Those babies were sweet!