Lord. I am so tired. How long can this go on? Well, I've been workin' in a coal mine... If you never heard the song "Workin' in a Coal Mine," at this point you must think I have gone berserk. Basically, I am tired. My dog does not sleep at night. In fact, it is … Continue reading Things I forgot to tell you
Last night, Marvin Gardensalad and I went to a lecture about Mt. Everest. That lecturer told a lot of tall tales. BAH! Did you know that the people who actually live under Mt. Everest have a whole different name for it, and then when the British people decided to start rushing over there and climbing … Continue reading Climb Every Mountain
Whoever told me to get the Nylabone or whatever it's called is my hero. She is obsessed with that thing. It is bigger than she is. She also enjoys chewing my stuffed bunny I have had for about 12 years, and this hideously dirty powder puff that my cat Francis used to carry around and … Continue reading Bones, running and cuteness
Guess what's almost impossible? Filming a puppy. They move AROUND all the time. Lulabelle is a 12-week-old Lab mix and she weighs 10.9 pounds. She is so skinny! She ate dinner so fast I would've thought I had hallucinated putting food in the bowl. Then she chewed the bone I got for her that is … Continue reading Meet Lulabelle. Sort of.
Oh. My. Stars. Today I had an interview in Raleigh, and I wasn't sure I really wanted the job. I was even thinking, "Why am I driving to Raleigh for this?" as I was in fact driving to Raleigh. I was screeching down a two-lane highway. I was annoyed because I had had to stop … Continue reading She is back on puppies again?
When my underwear had no elastic, I knew it was gonna be a stupid day. I was late, for a change. Freezing in our laundry room, which is basically a back porch with windows on it, I put on the first pair of underwear that I pulled from the Vesuvius pile on the dryer. "Why … Continue reading In which you learn too much about my nethers
I am supposed to be proofreading something -- what else is new?-- but so MANY exciting things have happened. Okay, first of all, I have another job interview, this one in Raleigh. The interview is Wednesday. I would be a proofreader/office manager for a graphic design firm. Their website is really cool, and they have … Continue reading Exciting things that’ve happened today
If there is anything more annoying than having a piece of coconut stuck in your tooth, with no floss in sight, I don't know what it is. Guess who had Samoa Girl Scout cookies for breakfast? Nice. Despite that, I DID lose weight this week. Imagine how much I'd have lost had I not plowed … Continue reading Health, schmealth. Here’s how to pronounce celebrity names.
Before I begin, there is this woman named Emily who has spent the whole weekend reading my last year's blog. I keep getting emails from my old blog, telling me someone has made a new comment, and I can see her progress. Yesterday she was on last July, when Marvin accidentally stood like a T-Rex … Continue reading Worst Church Secretary EVER
I have just spent the morning reading other people's blogs, as I am wont to do. Everybody seems mighty down, and I think they are all sick and not to mention tired of the stupid winter. It's been so long since I've lived somewhere with real winters, I forget what that "Will it ever end?" … Continue reading Bloom County
Today was a ridiculous day. First of all, I had a dream that Marvin Gardensalad was having an affair. I know I dreamed this because stupid Nate on Six Feet Under just had an affair and then he fell over dead from a brain hemorrhage, and I am really sorry if you are just catching … Continue reading In which I totally tell you the end of Six Feet Under in the first paragraph
Oh, dear. I just got an email from one of my Garden Clubbers, and she said I was the talk of Bridge Club today. You don't suppose they're gonna make me learn to build bridges now, do you? After I so clearly couldn't cook? Do you think anyone said, "Bless her heart" about me and … Continue reading Bless My Heart, and also Cross My Heart
I'm not gonna lie to ya. I was at a job interview in Winston-Salem. I am going to make cigarettes. No, no. But I don't want to say anything about it cause I don't wanna jinx it. Because that's a rational way to think. Let's just say that had I been offered a job kissing … Continue reading The Wizard of Odd
I'll write you more later; I hafta get to Winson-Salem. No, I do not mean my cat Winston has taken up smoking. Or witchcraft. In the meantime, I wrote a hairbrush review over on http://chic-critique.com/, which is the product review blog dcrmom and I started. Could I have crammed more links into that sentence?
Oh, help. Help me, Rhonda. Last night we went to ANOTHER party, this time a dinner party for three couples, thrown by some people from my church whom I just adore. And man, was the food good. I have GOT to get out of the South. Yeesch! I tried to eat small portions, in fact, … Continue reading Fish camp or fat camp?
Happy Presidents Day! And no, officially there is no apostrophe in this day. We went through this last year, folks. It SHOULD have an apostrophe, but on official government and calendar websites, there is none. So I have to stick with the incorrectness of it. Oh, the humanity. So, I gained 2.9 pounds. But who's … Continue reading Food, glorious food
Last night, Marvin Gardensalad and I went to a cocktail party at the home of some people we met. They had two Corgis and a Siamese cat who was large and brown. Really, the success or failure of a visit to someone's house, for me, depends entirely on whether they have pets or not and … Continue reading God Save the Queen (and her little dogs, too)
Did anybody else watch Oprah today? As you may know, we get three stations here, because last year my husband and I did an experiment where we did not spend any extra money. So when we got here, we plugged in the TV and settled for whatever came in. Which happened to be all Reba, … Continue reading Oprah, Reba, Carson
For those of you up in arms over the fact that I haven't taken a photo of my hair, here are three photos my father took of me at work. I was totally faking the "Oh, I'm busy on the phone" part. I hope everyone will be happy now. I just never wanted to take … Continue reading Perhaps you’ll all calm down now
Remember after lunch? When I went heavy on the salad, light on the quiche, one bite of dessert? Remember all those hours ago, when life was one ding-dang ticker tape parade, and all was well with the world? There is a really good restaurant here in my little town. I do not mean that it … Continue reading Haunted by cabbage