June's stupid life · My pets

Things I forgot to tell you

Lord. I am so tired. How long can this go on? Well, I've been workin' in a coal mine... If you never heard the song "Workin' in a Coal Mine," at this point you must think I have gone berserk. Basically, I am tired. My dog does not sleep at night. In fact, it is… Continue reading Things I forgot to tell you

Family · June's stupid life · My pets

Climb Every Mountain

Last night, Marvin Gardensalad and I went to a lecture about Mt. Everest. That lecturer told a lot of tall tales. BAH! Did you know that the people who actually live under Mt. Everest have a whole different name for it, and then when the British people decided to start rushing over there and climbing… Continue reading Climb Every Mountain

June's stupid life · My pets

Bones, running and cuteness

Whoever told me to get the Nylabone or whatever it's called is my hero. She is obsessed with that thing. It is bigger than she is. She also enjoys chewing my stuffed bunny I have had for about 12 years, and this hideously dirty powder puff that my cat Francis used to carry around and… Continue reading Bones, running and cuteness

June's stupid life · My pets

Meet Lulabelle. Sort of.

Guess what's almost impossible? Filming a puppy. They move AROUND all the time. Lulabelle is a 12-week-old Lab mix and she weighs 10.9 pounds. She is so skinny! She ate dinner so fast I would've thought I had hallucinated putting food in the bowl. Then she chewed the bone I got for her that is… Continue reading Meet Lulabelle. Sort of.

June's stupid life · My pets

She is back on puppies again?

Oh. My. Stars. Today I had an interview in Raleigh, and I wasn't sure I really wanted the job. I was even thinking, "Why am I driving to Raleigh for this?" as I was in fact driving to Raleigh. I was screeching down a two-lane highway. I was annoyed because I had had to stop… Continue reading She is back on puppies again?

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

In which you learn too much about my nethers

When my underwear had no elastic, I knew it was gonna be a stupid day. I was late, for a change. Freezing in our laundry room, which is basically a back porch with windows on it, I put on the first pair of underwear that I pulled from the Vesuvius pile on the dryer. "Why… Continue reading In which you learn too much about my nethers

June's stupid life · Marvin · My pets · Proofreading/Copy editing

Exciting things that’ve happened today

I am supposed to be proofreading something -- what else is new?-- but so MANY exciting things have happened. Okay, first of all, I have another job interview, this one in Raleigh. The interview is Wednesday. I would be a proofreader/office manager for a graphic design firm. Their website is really cool, and they have… Continue reading Exciting things that’ve happened today

June's stupid life · Television

Health, schmealth. Here’s how to pronounce celebrity names.

If there is anything more annoying than having a piece of coconut stuck in your tooth, with no floss in sight, I don't know what it is. Guess who had Samoa Girl Scout cookies for breakfast? Nice. Despite that, I DID lose weight this week. Imagine how much I'd have lost had I not plowed… Continue reading Health, schmealth. Here’s how to pronounce celebrity names.

Friends · Health · June's stupid life

Worst Church Secretary EVER

Before I begin, there is this woman named Emily who has spent the whole weekend reading my last year's blog. I keep getting emails from my old blog, telling me someone has made a new comment, and I can see her progress. Yesterday she was on last July, when Marvin accidentally stood like a T-Rex… Continue reading Worst Church Secretary EVER

June's stupid life · Marvin · Television

In which I totally tell you the end of Six Feet Under in the first paragraph

Today was a ridiculous day. First of all, I had a dream that Marvin Gardensalad was having an affair. I know I dreamed this because stupid Nate on Six Feet Under just had an affair and then he fell over dead from a brain hemorrhage, and I am really sorry if you are just catching… Continue reading In which I totally tell you the end of Six Feet Under in the first paragraph

Friends · June's stupid life · Money · Proofreading/Copy editing

Bless My Heart, and also Cross My Heart

Oh, dear. I just got an email from one of my Garden Clubbers, and she said I was the talk of Bridge Club today. You don't suppose they're gonna make me learn to build bridges now, do you? After I so clearly couldn't cook? Do you think anyone said, "Bless her heart" about me and… Continue reading Bless My Heart, and also Cross My Heart

Friends · June's stupid life

Fish camp or fat camp?

Oh, help. Help me, Rhonda. Last night we went to ANOTHER party, this time a dinner party for three couples, thrown by some people from my church whom I just adore. And man, was the food good. I have GOT to get out of the South. Yeesch! I tried to eat small portions, in fact,… Continue reading Fish camp or fat camp?

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Food, glorious food

Happy Presidents Day! And no, officially there is no apostrophe in this day. We went through this last year, folks. It SHOULD have an apostrophe, but on official government and calendar websites, there is none. So I have to stick with the incorrectness of it. Oh, the humanity. So, I gained 2.9 pounds. But who's… Continue reading Food, glorious food

Friends · Health · June's stupid life

God Save the Queen (and her little dogs, too)

Last night, Marvin Gardensalad and I went to a cocktail party at the home of some people we met. They had two Corgis and a Siamese cat who was large and brown. Really, the success or failure of a visit to someone's house, for me, depends entirely on whether they have pets or not and… Continue reading God Save the Queen (and her little dogs, too)

Health · June's stupid life · Television

Oprah, Reba, Carson

Did anybody else watch Oprah today? As you may know, we get three stations here, because last year my husband and I did an experiment where we did not spend any extra money. So when we got here, we plugged in the TV and settled for whatever came in. Which happened to be all Reba,… Continue reading Oprah, Reba, Carson

Hair · June's stupid life

Perhaps you’ll all calm down now

For those of you up in arms over the fact that I haven't taken a photo of my hair, here are three photos my father took of me at work. I was totally faking the "Oh, I'm busy on the phone" part. I hope everyone will be happy now. I just never wanted to take… Continue reading Perhaps you’ll all calm down now

Health · June's stupid life

Haunted by cabbage

Remember after lunch? When I went heavy on the salad, light on the quiche, one bite of dessert? Remember all those hours ago, when life was one ding-dang ticker tape parade, and all was well with the world? There is a really good restaurant here in my little town. I do not mean that it… Continue reading Haunted by cabbage