I'm sitting here in my new pink rain boots, trying to put off taking Tallulah on her walk. It is COLD out. And also rainy. Why would you even WANT to go out there if you were naked except for a pink leopard collar? And yet that is how I am going to walk her.… Continue reading Fool’s Paradise
Remember the other day? When I was at work redoing this Sunday's bulletin 14,000 times to get it just right? And I stopped production on the thing to get the bishop's title perfect? Yeah. So, today the bishop came to church, and he spent the first five minutes of his sermon talking about how he… Continue reading The Scarlet Assistant
Today was my lunch with Nester, who reads my blog, and I hers. She lives maybe an hour from me, so we decided to throw caution and calories to the wind and meet at The Cheesecake Factory in Charlotte. Okay, first of all, I have never been to that part of Charlotte, and child, it… Continue reading The Nester and June Finally Meet. An Historic Occasion.
Last night, Marvin Gardensalad and I watched a Titanic movie. Not the movie where Leonardo DiCaprio is heimliching Kate Winslett or measuring her waistline or whatever, but an old, black-and-white version of the Titanic. Pretty much had the same plot. Anyway, in the movie, they kept telling women and children to get on the boat… Continue reading Near. Far. Wherever you are. I know that I’ll save myself first.
I am writing you from work. I know that is not exactly good, but (a) I am leaving, so what are they gonna do, fire me? and (z) it is noon, and I officially am supposed to be done working at noon. But I am staying because bulletins are still printing, which is entirely my… Continue reading The Right Nester
In case anyone is worried sick, I am on page 174 of that 205-page statistics book. I know to a normal person that sounds like I have half an hour left on it. HAH! More like four hours. Plus, the bishop is coming this weekend, and I do not mean that I am playing chess.… Continue reading I wish I had some work. Really.
I know I haven't written since 1912, but I do not have time to talk to you, girl. First of all, there is the statistics textbook. With Marvin home all week and the puppy home all the time? I finally went into the attic and proofread up there like the Little Match Girl for TEN… Continue reading Take it to the bridge
Yesterday Marvin, Tallulah and I went to Greensboro. You know what? People notice you if you have a puppy. Why didn't anyone tell me this before? Mostly I got the attention of teenage girls, which isn't really a demographic I am trying to lure. But if you're some sort of perv, there's your tip for… Continue reading “Gallumping” is a good word
So, we're gonna try to go to Greensboro tomorrow, right in the middle of me having more proofreading work than one person should ever have. I am back to wishing I were a spider, with eleven sets of eyes or however many they have. I am sure my science friend Lisa will write in with… Continue reading I’m Marvin, and I’m so not an alcoholic. Hi, Marvin.
So, of course, now that I'm leaving, this seems like the most idyllic little town ever. All the daffodils, forsythia, wild violets and hyacinth are bloomed, and there are these white blossoming trees called pear something, but they don't actually grow pears. Also today I saw someone's tulips were up. Oh! And wild pansies. Did… Continue reading Blooming Town
They offered me the job. When I talked to them, I remembered how nice they were. You know that horrid I-can't-possibly-act-real-I-have-to-be-professional thing? Yeah, they don't have that. They're down to earth and kind. They are sending me an official offer email right now and I think I'm gonna say yes. I told them I couldn't… Continue reading Never a dull moment
Marvin gets up two hours before me, and this is what he allows to happen in my wake. Or my sleep, as it were. Tallulah is SO NOT allowed on that pink chair.
Today was the best of times and the worst of times at my church secretary job. First of all, I dropped a hymnal on my foot. Now, if that isn't the most church secretary-y thing to do, I don't know what is. That thing landed on its point right up at the top of my… Continue reading The Bell of the Church
Thanks, everybody. I agree that meditating on this job is a good idea. I AM supposed to be meditating this month, remember? I picked a bad month to do a slow-down thing. I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue. So, I got the Holy Tuesday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday bulletins… Continue reading Puppy Love
How are you enjoying seeing the top of my head bent over something that needs proofreading? That is all anyone who lives with me sees lately, my head and my nice gray roots. Mmmm. Alluring. Great googely-moogley, I'm busy. Holy Week is here, and I went to church today and WORKED during the service. Nice.… Continue reading Also? Is anyone else just getting downright MAD at Miss Doxie for disappearing like this?
Somebody just emailed me and pointed out that it's officially pi day, 3/14. So I figured as tired as I am, I couldn't go without blogging on pi day. Really, what IS pi? I mean, I know it's that number that starts with 3.14 and goes on forever, but what is the point? Have I… Continue reading Hi, Hi, Pi
It occurs to me that I am probably getting even more exercise than I think because I am now walking that dog 75 times a day. Well, I am not walking her right now. You know what I mean. Don't be smug. Wouldn't I look silly, walking a dog and typing on a laptop at… Continue reading American, but not idle.
Three a.m. designs, which is not how the blog is spelled but I couldn't stand to begin a sentence with a number, has tagged me to write seven random facts about myself. But really, how random can they be? I have to sit here and think 'em up first. 1. Today, just as I came… Continue reading Seven really boring facts about me
Shhh. Don't make any sudden sounds. As of this minute, for the first time ever, all my pets are in one room, sleeping. Ruby and nutty Francis are on the bed, Winston is on the pink chair and Lula is on the floor, doing the "I'm gonna sleep now" sighing thing dogs do. I guess… Continue reading Over the hump
Who wants to go to sleep RIGHT NOW? Don't you hate stupid daylight savings? Did you know the official name for it is Daylight-Saving Time, with the hyphen and the singular like that? Doesn't that bug you? Doesn't it similarly bug you when you get your driver's license renewed and while you are there all… Continue reading Zzzzzzzzz…