Lula and Hardee’s

I was all comfy-umfy in my leopard pajamas when I remembered it was May 1 and I have to do my measurements today. Crap. You'll be thrilled to hear that I did remember to bring a tape measure with me in this otherwise spartan household.

So, my weight went down three pounds, I think (click on Progress a la Mode. I can't remember exactly. It's down, though, to 142), and I have lost inches in my hootie-hoots. Okay, thanks. Don't give me a smaller arse or anything. That's just what I want. Smaller hootie-hoots.

Oh, how my hippie parents are looking back sadly to the days they taught me to refer to my body parts by their real technical terms, and I am over here saying hootie-hoots to the world.

Peace out, mom and dad. I am free to be Me and Me. I still respect my body and know all about bad touching.

Speaking of which, Lula and I just spent an hour and 15 minutes sniffing the butt of everybody at the dog park. You guys, she is doing so much better at not being horrified of other dogs. She even took a stick from a full-grown Lab! She had a great time with a giant Schnauzer and other similarly big dogs.

There was a bloodhound puppy there who was the same age as Lula. Let's talk about that behemoth. His eyelash was the size of Tallulah. His paws were bigger than my hootie-hoots.

I just wanted to say hootie-hoots again.

Also today, I finally got some feedback on some editing I did at my new job. I have barely done any work at my new job. They really prepare you thoroughly before they give you anything, so I have shadowed people, I have looked at old work, I have read every pamphlet and catalog and ad and website we put out in the world. Trust me, I have researched the dang job.

So then when they finally said, here, edit something, I was secretly, what? I can't do this! I have no idea how to edit anything!

I do this every time. Also, I panic because I think I am going to forget all the rules of grammar. And you know what? I do forget them. I read a sentence and know it sounds stupid, but I don't go, "My, what terrible use of passive voice. And that participle! Man!" Instead I just kind of instinctively fix things.

At any rate, after being on pins and also other pins all day, my boss said, "You did a marvelous job on that [insert what I do here] article today."

Why do we always feel like imposters when we aren't? I am so afraid I am going to be found out as someone who doesn't know what they're doing, and yet I know I DO know what I'm doing.

It's stupid.

Anyway, I like everyone's idea that I don't do anything healthy this month, but what I have decided to do is tell you everything I eat every day. Because that should be humiliating and maybe will make me healthier.

So, today.

Black coffee. Seventy cups.

An Oatmeal-to-Go thing. It's like a cookie, but you tell yourself it's oatmeal.

Coffee cake that was free at work. Free to be coffee and cake.

Peanut butter (creamy) and jelly (grape) sandwich on whole wheat.

Cup of canned peaches (packed in juice).

Wheat Thins.

Bacon cheese fries from Hardee's. Yes, really. Nutritious and filling. You got your vegetable, your dairy, your meat.

Small cheeseburger from Hardee's, which I ate half of cause those fries were delish and filled me right up.

Dr Pepper. Cause I love me the Dr. And did you know Dr Pepper doesn't have a period after "Dr"?

A banana.

That is all. I'd say that's enough. Exercise? Two 15-minute brisk walks at my work breaks, and a really brisk walk/pull through the woods with Lula, maybe 12 minutes total.

I hope you all had a good May 1. Today is Barry Gibb's dog Barnabus' birthday.

And yes, I understand that I am pathetic.

14 thoughts on “Lula and Hardee’s

  1. Hardee’s!!!!!! right on! that was my first job at the age of 14. “best eatin’ in town and all around” was their little jingle. i think i still have my name tag. fresh biscuits highly recommended! thanks for my flash back.


  2. I am with you the impostor thing. I think it’s self-protection – like if you don’t admit you can do it well, then when you make a mistake, you already said “I am not really able to do this”, so you didn’t really “fail.” I am trying not to keep doing that because it does nothing for my own as well as other people’s confidence in my ability.
    And what is it with dogs *always* sniffing butts? My dog, Nikki, obviously knows the smell of her roommate dog, Rusty, but if his butt is within 12 inches of her face, she will sniff it. Like, don’t you already know who he is and what he smells like after butt-sniff #18,194?


  3. I can totally relate to the ‘real names of body parts’ and ‘knowing about bad touching’ and all that. Why did some of our parents feel the need to DRILL it in SOOO much. Of course, part of my job now is to talk about ‘real names of body parts’ so I guess its benefiting me some way. That probably isn’t 100% necessary for you in the editing though, huh.
    Oh, and inquiring minds want to know… what DOES a dog butt smell like?


  4. My theory on food is, if its free that probably means its free from calories and fat also. The cheese fries, totally agree here also, vegetable and dairy what more do you need.


  5. Hootie Toots? Omg, you’re a scream.
    I’m so proud of Lula. Who says a homeschooled dog can’t be socialized. Hehe.
    And I can TOTALLY relate about the impostor thing. I always feel that way. I feel that way about blogging, on my Disney trip, why was *I* there, kwim? And I feel that way about designing every time a client says, “You decide. You’re the designer.” WHO, ME? You’re kidding, right?
    WHY do we do that to ourselves?
    Anyway, sounds like you’re settling in. When does Marvin Gardensalad join you?


  6. June,
    Love the stuff about your hootie hoots and the hippie parents and the “bad touching.”
    Glad you really do know what you’re doing. How come I don’t feel that way about mothering? Oh, right, maybe because my 3-year old never says, “You did a great job yelling at me right before nap time today.” I wonder what is wrong with her?


  7. I feel that way EVERY time I make chicken and ham and dumplings. I’m always sure my dumplings won’t rise (and I’ve been making them for 35 years) but they always rise and they are as big as hootie hoots. I just wanted to say that too! Nancy


  8. CREAMY peanut butter? Say it ain’t so! I’m a super chunk girl all the way. And that is all I have to say about that.
    As for Lula, hooray! She’s getting to be little Miss Socialite! That’s wonderful. (don’t forget that spaying thing. I can hear Bob Barker right now).
    I’m looking forward to the daily food update! Great idea.


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