The Voracious Knee


One way to be sure to eat well is to have out-of-town guests come in. Yeesch.

My stepsister and her husband came to visit us. Normally they live in LA. We took them to IHOP, cause we're classy. We took them to a minor league baseball game, because they have a black Lab who brings the balls out with her teefs. We took them to a fancy dinner tonight. Actually, we split the check. So "we took them" is an exaggeration.

At any rate, you can imagine the fine food we consumed.

Are blackened green tomatoes bad for you? Cause I had that tonight as an appetizer and man, it was good.

I do not need to ask you if smores are bad. We had those too, in our back yard.

And by the way. Do you remember how my insane dog walker stole the neighbor cat because she convinced herself it was a stray? And then I made her give it back because it BELONGS to someone and she is a NUTBAR who makes animal lovers look like zealots?

Well, that cat is outside ALL THE TIME, and so her is stripey orange sister. And I am forever petting them and giving them food and water. Now, I know the woman next door loves her cats, I really do. But now whenever I open my door, they come inside and sit with me in my house like it's normal. They are just little, like maybe six months.

Do not let me steal these cats. Please stop me.

Have I mentioned how pretty they are?

Oh. And another thing. I have taken back up with the running, and it was all going well until the other day when my KNEE started feeling like it was full of molten lava. It's very unsettling.

Why do people always describe lava as "molten"? Is that an actual scientific term, or does it just mean really hot and people always say it like they say voracious reader and not, you know, greedy reader?

So, has anyone experienced the molten knee before? The voracious knee? What does it mean? Am I dying? Should I not run 7.5 miles tomorrow? Sleeping Beauty, my half-marathon partner, said I should ice it and not run. Is she full of crap? Am I full of Lava Soap or actual lava? Can I make a lava lamp out of whatever is in there?

Do you wish I'd stop now?

15 thoughts on “The Voracious Knee

  1. So I’ve been reading for about a month. I am a delurker. I started at the very beginning of byebyebuy. I can’t even tell you how excited I was to read you were moving to Greensboro (I live in Greensboro.) I have never commented. But I finally feel the need to comment because I have to tell you that I went to that very same restaurant and ordered those yummy blackened green tomatoes at least once a week for the month that they had them as a special.


  2. If those kittens aren’t fixed you will soon be knee deep in more kittens. Maybe you should let NUTBAR take them or maybe talk to the owner to suss things out?


  3. I think you have two more cats. You FED them! They will never go away. We had a neighbor’s cat, who we named Minnie Mouse the House Mouse, take up with us, an orange tabby, which are the BEST PETS ever!!! She lived between the two houses, but when they moved and took her away it absolutely broke our hearts.
    I’ve never had blackened green tomatoes. I do love those fried green tomatoes. It’s a southern thing. I’m not sure if blackened green tomatoes are a southern thing or not.


  4. About the kittens, don’t you think that your neighbor might one day notice that her cats are in your house and, combined with the oppressively guilty look on your face, put two and two together? Who do you call about cat thievery anyway? I think I’d mention their visits to the neighbor, see how she reacts, and throw in a cat door. They’ll choose you. Promise.
    About your knee… you will either get over it or die of it. (My favorite saying.) So, you might as well plan to live and take good care of it. I know! I know! Throw a cat on it! That fixes everything!


  5. Hmmm… I only walk, but a colleague from work is crazy about running. He seemed to have experienced the same feeling you describe while running last year.
    He didn’t want to stop running, and when he finally went to the doctor a few months later, when he was in pain, he learned that if he had gotten treatment immediately he would have avoided a more serious knee injury that took several months to fix.
    I would think that going to the doctor before running again is the safest thing to do, even if only to get reassurance that continuing to run won’t cause additional problems in your specific case.
    Good luck!


  6. Are Ruby and Francis at the new house yet .. or are you still a divided family? Maybe the next door neighbour kitties think you need two more kitties not knowing that you already have two more kitties.
    I strongly urge you not to steal the ladies cats .. maybe you can go to some AT (animal theft) meetings or something .. I can see it now “Hello my name is June and I have so far stolen a dog and currently have my eye on two cats”.


  7. Even tho I am old, I have had knee pain many times in my insane workout life. I have found if I rest it a few days and ONLY a few, and then get back to s milder schedule, it goes away (the pain-not the knee). I am a firm beleiver that working it make it stronger-or maybe your knee will fall off. Years ago I had a Doctor say that I should have knee surgery. I said HAH! I really think that the spin biking classes that I do hve made my knees stronger. Altho once in awhile one of them hurts and I pretend they dont. Feel better


  8. Best of luck with the knee. When you get back to running and need some delicious carbs, you MUST try Anton’s Cellar on Battleground Ave. It is awesome!!!


  9. Ice and Ibuprofen is what I take for my knee. I hurt mine playing softball and needed surgery. Trust me, dont run untill you see a doctor. You could end up doing more damage to it and not be able to run for along time.And could you please tell me more about those tomatoes you had? I never heard of them before.Thanks. Good Luck. Glad to see Cone head is better. Maybe now you need the cone.


  10. I think lava that’s not molten is actually rock, no?
    Let me reiterate: My advice is Don’t run, ice it twice a day, take ibuprofen twice a day for two weeks without interruption, and see a doctor about it as soon as you can. But try to find a doctor who runs, or is at least sympathetic to runners. Find a running store or local running club that can give you a good recommendation for a doctor. But until you can see someone I would switch to a more low-impact activity, like walking or biking, and if you don’t want to take ibuprofen twice a day until a real doctor tells you to, at least ice it, at least once a day.
    Now if I could follow my own advice…. I got a knee problem too, but it was so beautiful outside yesterday and today I couldn’t help myself. I ran. I loved it. My knee hurts. I have no doctor appointment in sight. Sigh….


  11. No, it’s really lava. It is. Running is clearly going to kill you. Imagine what would happen if that lava gets into your blood stream. Deadly, I tell you.


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