I see you! Do you see me? I got contacts this weekend. I used to have them, then I ran out of them in my year of not spending, and didn't get around to replacing my contacts until this weekend. Everyone at work kept saying, "Are you wearing makeup today?" Okay, yeah, I wear makeup… Continue reading ICUP
Is it okay to let your dog chew a pine cone? Cause clearly I am letting her. And photographing her while she does it. Look how proud she is of her find. Is someone going to send this in to Animal Services and Tallulah will be ripped from me for abuse? Somebody needs to report… Continue reading Opine
To anyone who was worried I might be crappin', I'm fine. I had only given up meat for a week when I had my carnivorous extravaganza. When I was in high school, I spent many a dinner at my best friend's house. My friend's brother Buddy and I spent an inordinate amount of dinnertime thinking… Continue reading Some bloggers do giveaways. I do poop-ins.
Someone once told me it is funnier to read my blog when I screw up, so today will be a laugh riot. You will be stitching your sides. Is what you'll be doing. King Henry VII called. Wants me to stop eating all the meat. Oh, you guys. They had a cookout at work. And… Continue reading But meat is so TASTY!
I couldn't get a picture of me spooning with Tallulah, as per Kathy R and ceb's request, but here I am spooning Francis. BA HA HA HA HA! Who enjoys her own self? And who would be happy to see Francis sitting on his eleven million dollar black stuff with cords? I have to be… Continue reading The delish ran away with the spoon
Last night at dog obedience, the instructor said she wanted Tallulah and me to go off in a corner and make out. She said Tallulah was way more interested in playing with Rosie the Boxer than she was in me, and that I had to teach her to tune in to me. Calling Tokyo. Come… Continue reading The dog who hates me
When I get home tonight, remind me to discuss: How I spent an inordinate amount of time with my next-door neighbor this weekend, and it turns out she is an award-winning decorator and I need to suck up to her more. How many tomato products must one consume when one is vegetarian? What a pretentious… Continue reading Because apparently it wouldn’t be a day unless I blogged from work
Today I got my roots done, because Hostess Ding-Dongs called. They wanted their creamy white center back. What gray roots? Yeesch. I got home from my rootage and I was so proud. I got right on the webcam, because I am obsessed with myself. This photo didn't exactly capture my nice new roots as much… Continue reading I also don’t like Pina Coladas
Am I the analiest wife from Analville, Analbama? Or are Marvin's towel-folding techniques unacceptable? And let's none of us do the thing where we all just feel grateful a man has folded a towel. It's as much his job as it is mine. Except that he clearly has an emotional block about it. I have,… Continue reading Our house. In the middle of our street. Actually, it’s pretty close to the corner.
I am home right now with Francis, even though it is 1 p.m. I left work cause I was sick, dog. I was sicky-sick-sick. I woke up with a migraine this morning, which always annoys me. I had run the night before, and made sure I got my eight hours, and put in my mouth… Continue reading Nine grain
Here's my radiant self, after a whole day of wearing no makeup at work. And I made a stupid mistake at work today, too, that vexed me, and someone said, "You look so drained. Don't beat yourself up about that mistake." Okay, I really wasn't drained so much as I was without eyeliner. And I'm… Continue reading No makeup, I’m a vegetarian. Is a dreamcatcher next?
In my rush this morning? For the first time in 20 years of being in the work world, I forgot to put on makeup. I look like Tom Petty.
I am typing you between the bodies of Francis and Lula. Fran is on my left, saying, "Hsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOrrrrrrrr" and Tallulah is trying to pretend she doesn't hear it while attempting to eat my peach. It's relaxing, is what it is. Today I am going to address the subject of proofreading, because people keep asking… Continue reading In Chris
I got no time to talk to you, girl. But yet, here I am. Coming at you from the NC. Tonight is the deadline for my freelance proofreading project, which I have not worked on in two days because my in-laws are here. They are currently in Tiny Town, however, as Marvin decided to torture… Continue reading Phone home. And also phone the pizza delivery place while you’re up.
I am home from work, and Bitey the Pit Bull is in here with me. She is spread out on the concrete floor, cause why is it always so hot in the South? You never saw Scarlett O'Hara looking perspire-y, except for the day Atlanta fell, and anyone would be sweaty if your whole town… Continue reading Riding the wagon wheel coffee table with Clark Gable
In Marvin's continual quest to make my brain snap, he produced an entire shoebox of pictures yesterday, thereby rendering my weekend of organizing our photos completely useless. I'll have to redo everything. However, I did find this photo, which I love. It makes me miss LA, but all our LA photos make me miss LA.… Continue reading By chicken of the sea, do they mean tuna is AFRAID of the sea? Cause that would be a stressful phobia.
So as you know, if you tuned in earlier, I was at work today when I noticed my shirt was comPLETEly see-through. I was in the bathroom, in the natural light, and when I saw all my innards like I was Slim Goodbody, I said, "Please God, let me have just developed Xray vision." I… Continue reading Sheer Drama
At work. Just realized shirt is completely see-through. Illegally blogging to tell you all.
As I have said before -- and really, what HAVEN'T I said before? -- we have a full-time nurse at work, whose objective in life is to fix us should we be sick or injured, and also to provide us with preventative medicine tips. I love her. And I have only gone to her once,… Continue reading Shameless orange ink girl