Dooce envy · June's stupid life

ICUP

I see you! Do you see me? I got contacts this weekend. I used to have them, then I ran out of them in my year of not spending, and didn't get around to replacing my contacts until this weekend. Everyone at work kept saying, "Are you wearing makeup today?" Okay, yeah, I wear makeup… Continue reading ICUP

Food and Drink · June's stupid life · My pets · Proofreading/Copy editing

Opine

Is it okay to let your dog chew a pine cone? Cause clearly I am letting her. And photographing her while she does it. Look how proud she is of her find. Is someone going to send this in to Animal Services and Tallulah will be ripped from me for abuse? Somebody needs to report… Continue reading Opine

Family · June's stupid life

Some bloggers do giveaways. I do poop-ins.

To anyone who was worried I might be crappin', I'm fine. I had only given up meat for a week when I had my carnivorous extravaganza. When I was in high school, I spent many a dinner at my best friend's house. My friend's brother Buddy and I spent an inordinate amount of dinnertime thinking… Continue reading Some bloggers do giveaways. I do poop-ins.

Food and Drink · Health · June's stupid life

But meat is so TASTY!

Someone once told me it is funnier to read my blog when I screw up, so today will be a laugh riot. You will be stitching your sides. Is what you'll be doing. King Henry VII called. Wants me to stop eating all the meat. Oh, you guys. They had a cookout at work. And… Continue reading But meat is so TASTY!

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

The delish ran away with the spoon

I couldn't get a picture of me spooning with Tallulah, as per Kathy R and ceb's request, but here I am spooning Francis. BA HA HA HA HA! Who enjoys her own self? And who would be happy to see Francis sitting on his eleven million dollar black stuff with cords? I have to be… Continue reading The delish ran away with the spoon

Health · June's stupid life · My pets

The dog who hates me

Last night at dog obedience, the instructor said she wanted Tallulah and me to go off in a corner and make out. She said Tallulah was way more interested in playing with Rosie the Boxer than she was in me, and that I had to teach her to tune in to me. Calling Tokyo. Come… Continue reading The dog who hates me

June's stupid life

Because apparently it wouldn’t be a day unless I blogged from work

When I get home tonight, remind me to discuss: How I spent an inordinate amount of time with my next-door neighbor this weekend, and it turns out she is an award-winning decorator and I need to suck up to her more. How many tomato products must one consume when one is vegetarian? What a pretentious… Continue reading Because apparently it wouldn’t be a day unless I blogged from work

Hair · June's stupid life · Marvin · My pets

I also don’t like Pina Coladas

Today I got my roots done, because Hostess Ding-Dongs called. They wanted their creamy white center back. What gray roots? Yeesch. I got home from my rootage and I was so proud. I got right on the webcam, because I am obsessed with myself. This photo didn't exactly capture my nice new roots as much… Continue reading I also don’t like Pina Coladas

June's stupid life · Marvin

Our house. In the middle of our street. Actually, it’s pretty close to the corner.

Am I the analiest wife from Analville, Analbama? Or are Marvin's towel-folding techniques unacceptable? And let's none of us do the thing where we all just feel grateful a man has folded a towel. It's as much his job as it is mine. Except that he clearly has an emotional block about it. I have,… Continue reading Our house. In the middle of our street. Actually, it’s pretty close to the corner.

Health · June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

No makeup, I’m a vegetarian. Is a dreamcatcher next?

Here's my radiant self, after a whole day of wearing no makeup at work. And I made a stupid mistake at work today, too, that vexed me, and someone said, "You look so drained. Don't beat yourself up about that mistake." Okay, I really wasn't drained so much as I was without eyeliner. And I'm… Continue reading No makeup, I’m a vegetarian. Is a dreamcatcher next?

June's stupid life · My pets · Proofreading/Copy editing

In Chris

I am typing you between the bodies of Francis and Lula. Fran is on my left, saying, "Hsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOrrrrrrrr" and Tallulah is trying to pretend she doesn't hear it while attempting to eat my peach. It's relaxing, is what it is. Today I am going to address the subject of proofreading, because people keep asking… Continue reading In Chris

June's stupid life · Proofreading/Copy editing

Phone home. And also phone the pizza delivery place while you’re up.

I got no time to talk to you, girl. But yet, here I am. Coming at you from the NC. Tonight is the deadline for my freelance proofreading project, which I have not worked on in two days because my in-laws are here. They are currently in Tiny Town, however, as Marvin decided to torture… Continue reading Phone home. And also phone the pizza delivery place while you’re up.

Family · Food and Drink · June's stupid life

Riding the wagon wheel coffee table with Clark Gable

I am home from work, and Bitey the Pit Bull is in here with me. She is spread out on the concrete floor, cause why is it always so hot in the South? You never saw Scarlett O'Hara looking perspire-y, except for the day Atlanta fell, and anyone would be sweaty if your whole town… Continue reading Riding the wagon wheel coffee table with Clark Gable

June's stupid life · Los Angeles · Marvin · My pets · Proofreading/Copy editing

By chicken of the sea, do they mean tuna is AFRAID of the sea? Cause that would be a stressful phobia.

In Marvin's continual quest to make my brain snap, he produced an entire shoebox of pictures yesterday, thereby rendering my weekend of organizing our photos completely useless. I'll have to redo everything. However, I did find this photo, which I love. It makes me miss LA, but all our LA photos make me miss LA.… Continue reading By chicken of the sea, do they mean tuna is AFRAID of the sea? Cause that would be a stressful phobia.

Friends · June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Sheer Drama

So as you know, if you tuned in earlier, I was at work today when I noticed my shirt was comPLETEly see-through. I was in the bathroom, in the natural light, and when I saw all my innards like I was Slim Goodbody, I said, "Please God, let me have just developed Xray vision." I… Continue reading Sheer Drama

Grammar and Spelling · Health · June's stupid life

Shameless orange ink girl

As I have said before -- and really, what HAVEN'T I said before? -- we have a full-time nurse at work, whose objective in life is to fix us should we be sick or injured, and also to provide us with preventative medicine tips. I love her. And I have only gone to her once,… Continue reading Shameless orange ink girl