I just got home and noticed that this shirt is a tad...revealing. Glad everyone at work got to view the goods all day. Man. I spent the entire day proofreading about urine. I am not even making this up. All day. If that doesn't put you in a pissy mood... At least I'm getting to … Continue reading Pee Diddy
Tallulah ate my shoelace right out of my running shoe. I had to take what wasn't in her small intestine and tie it together and fashion a shoelace as best I could. If you never hear from me again you know it's cause this badly tied shoe killed me during my breakneck run. Why did … Continue reading Annoyed
That earthquake in LA today made me so homesick I could have spit up. I am sorry, but earthquakes are fun. ...You know, unless you're in a really bad one, which I never was. I emailed everyone I could think of, all at once, to get the guff. It was fun, because everyone wrote back … Continue reading I feel the earth move under my feet
This is pretty much how I looked on graduation night, too. Someone did not want to put on the hat. "Hat schmat. I got that pigskin or sheepskin or whatever. Hello, corporate world." They, um, suggested we come back for intermediate training.
You'll notice I'm home. And troubling myself about my nose. I HATE the ball on the end of my nose. Thanks, dad. Thanks for the ball. Don't give me any of your mathematical abilities, or your sense of direction. I'd even take your ability to play darts. But no. I get the ball. I am … Continue reading I’d give my eyeteeth for a better nose
I haven't even had coffee yet, and here I am writing you. You're welcome. Ran eight miles yesterday, at my usual blistering 14:30 pace. You can make fun of me all you want, did YOU run eight miles yesterday? Okay, then. My plan was to actually run in a neighborhood. So far all I've done … Continue reading 8 Mile
Today is my 10-year and one-week anniversary. We have officially been married longer than Tom and Nicole. Also? I have officially outlived Elvis. (I am very concerned with how my life compares to famous people. For a long time it seemed like my life paralleled Princess Diana, without the growing up rich and marrying royalty … Continue reading Ten years and one week
A friend asked, "Did your decline in readership begin about the same time as the purchase of your webcam?" Okay, SHUT UP. My webcam ROCKS. It is perfect for me. All I need is me, writing about me, while taking pictures of me and putting them up on what I wrote. About me. Besides, my … Continue reading Chili Cheese Dog Park
You have never seen anyone have more fun with pants. Could I have been putting off my 7-mile run at all? I am not an animal! I am a man! How I'd look if I stopped Nair-ing. This one is sort of obscene. And oh, how I hate my bulbous, Bill Clinton nose. I finally … Continue reading Fun with pant holes
Just discovered a HUGE HOLE in the crotch of my pants. Here at work. I am wearing bright blue underwear. I mean, how did this happen? Did my codpiece make a tear? Did I ride an exhaust pipe to work? Do you know anyone who runs into more trouble just getting through everyday life? What … Continue reading I see London
So, my dog was supposed to graduate from puppy school tonight. Oh, I had a million jokes about The Graduate I was going to tell you. I was going to say one word -- plastics. But no. We got there and there was a whole crop of NEW puppy school people, all going around the … Continue reading Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to get me to sit. Aren’t you?
Fourteen hundred miles round trip? Like this: No, seriously. There were about five minutes in West Virginia where I was all GET OFF OF ME! But she breathed on my arm and looked so sad. And she knew the minute she could get away with coming back on, too. And I enjoy Marvin taking pictures … Continue reading My Summer Vacation by June
Okay, first of all? To everyone who actually knows me and who was part of the ONE HUNDRED FORTY SEVEN (literally!) emails I have since I went "up North"? I have been without contact to the outside world. I have been like the Unibomber, or that grizzly guy. There is no phone at my mother's … Continue reading June, your 43-year-old blogging pal, returns.
I came down to the basement to blog, and now my mother is sitting ONE INCH from my head, in the rocking chair next to the computer, hoping I can come up with a dinner plan for tomorrow. Okay, has she MET me? If it were up to me we'd all be eating Lean Cuisines … Continue reading Say yes to Michigan. But don’t say yaaaaaa.
You know it's gonna be a good trip when you aren't even out of your town yet and your husband says, "Are you gonna talk this much the whole trip?" Also, turns out? Tallulah feels a tad uncomfortable on the long car ride. And we've rented a van, because 1972 called and wants its ride … Continue reading Like a princess she was laying there (lying)
Your gal June just ran six dinglity dang miles. Thank you. We went to the high school track, which by the way our high school's mascot is the whirlies or something. Twenty-four times I ran around that track, and each time I saw, "Go, Whirlies." What is a whirly? Isn't that that thing where they … Continue reading Hey, did you know I have a birthday coming up?
Since my birthday is coming up--and I know that is shocking news because I've only brought it up 47 times lately--I have been getting cards from people. Today I came home to find one such card in its envelope, and it looked a tad... worse for wear. As does my hairdo. Nice puffs on the … Continue reading Picture book. Pictures of your house-a, and your puffy hair-a, a long time ago.
I'm done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Done! Dun dun dun dun! I have proofread every ding and also not to mention dang word of that 468-page statistics textbook, not to mention the answer key and the index and the 11 appendices and 14 tables at the end of the book and also the math supplement. And the answer key … Continue reading Myn Statistics
Man, it's busy at work. And apparently, it is only just beginning. Everyone says November is the month you want to pop your eyeballs out. Which sounds lovely. I would, however, prefer to have too much to do at a job than not enough. Isn't it awful when there's nothing to do, and you're like, … Continue reading Are you getting it? Armageddon it.
I'm blogging at work again, which is going to make Tee decidedly nervous. I'm on my LUNCH hour, what possible harm does it do to blog at lunch? I guess I will find out when they fire me and I have to wear a barrel. Why did people wear barrels? Weren't there potato sacks or … Continue reading Nuttin’, honey