My Summer Vacation by June

Fourteen hundred miles round trip? Like this:

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No, seriously. There were about five minutes in West Virginia where I was all GET OFF OF ME! But she breathed on my arm and looked so sad. And she knew the minute she could get away with coming back on, too.

And I enjoy Marvin taking pictures while hurtling down the freeway. Safe.

We spent the first night in a hotel, and someone Gladys Kravitzed out the window the whole time.  ABNER!

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We saw many old friends and also our relatives. Dscf1034

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At a restaurant, I let my friend's kid take pictures, but she didn't have the whole "which way to turn the camera" thing down.

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Finally, we got "up North." I promise that's the last time I say that stupid redundant phrase.

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Yes, Gus was there. My mother felt sorry for him and sprang him from the kennel. He spent much of his time looking at Lula out of the corner of his eye and growling. She didn't care. She was too busy getting incredibly dirty.

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"This is how I should be all the time. I do not know why I speak in italics."

Marvin enjoys stupid hats at any time, but especially in nature. I do not know why mom is sporting a bolo tie. Perhaps it's her house key? Maybe she will write in and tell us.

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I tried to make Lula dress up for my birthday.

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Yeah, no.

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Notice she brought her hippo on vaca. That hippo never gets a day of rest. Who puts white carpet in a cottage? With a lake, and mud, and 17 dogs?

Some of my friends and many of my relatives drove to my mother's cottage for the big day. What do you want from me? I am an only child. My birthday has always been gargantuan. I am sure everyone wants to slap me. I want to slap me.

At any rate, a good time was had by all.

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This is my Uncle Leo, who is 1/117th Mexican and who is obsessed with his Mexicanness. He just spent four months in Mexico, in fact, and came back to say things like "Caaancuuun," with this phony accent he adopts whenever he says Spanish words. Fortunately, he is asleep, so he doesn't hear me making fun of his 1/1000th drop of Mexican blood. Shhh, let's go somewhere else so we don't disturb his "siiiiiiesta!"

We went back to the scene of the crime for our anniversary, and stayed in the bridal suite again.

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Phony flowers aside, it is lovely there. Right at 6:00, which is when we got married, we went back down to the water and made fun of our vows.

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My mother and I both have a photo of me on these stairs on my wedding day, without that stupid "Welcome to our Inns" sign, thank God, and I was gonna put that photo up with me doing this stupid pose, and do you think I can find that picture anywhere? It used to be on my vanity, and it occurs to me I haven't seen it since we moved into this house. Crap.

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Anyway. We do not usually go in for fancy dinners much, but we decided to eat where we got married, as they have a nice restaurant there. Oh, it was good.

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The chef knew it was our anniversary, cause we had run into him down by the water during the making fun of our vows part. Hence the heart.

So, it was a good vaca. Don't you hate people who say "vaca"?

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It's not back fat. I am storing chipmunks in my bra. Keep them warm for winter.

21 thoughts on “My Summer Vacation by June

  1. I got married at the courthouse. So I guess in 7 and a half years, we could go walk around downtown at the courthouse and get a hot dog from the hot dog cart or something. My mom tried to get us a hotel room but it was Balloon Fiesta so everything was booked up. We did have fantastic breakfast burritos that day, though, and we ate at PF Chang’s. Yum.

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  2. I cannot remember the last time I laughed uncontrollably while reading a blog. Made my children rush out of their room to see what was wrong with me! I think I scared them. After all, why would Mom, who is sitting at her desk and staring at her computer in a completely quiet house in the middle of the night, suddenly start to cackle and laugh histerically? Yes, they were a little freaked out.
    Chipmunks rule.
    Leslie, aka The Menu Maker Mom
    http://menumakermom.blogspot.com

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  3. I don’t know how I how missed your blog until today!!!
    You made me laugh and I must remember to visit you often.
    I think I found you through Leigh of Bloggeritaville….
    Loved the anniversary story and the LONG FORK.
    And the pants split.
    Too funny….

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  4. WOW, the last picture! You do look so at peace with life! You wouldn’t know that there are actually chipmunks in there! I would have never known!
    Seriously, you look 30 in the last picture! VACA’s are good at taking years off the chipmunks, I mean bod!
    HUGS, Nicole

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  5. I’m with Lindy…just today I was fantasizing about saying the kinds of things about my family (ok, my mom) that you say about yours, and what’s stopping me isn’t so much fear that my mom will stop talking to me as fear that the REST of my family will stop talking to me because they are nice and I am mean. *sigh*

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  6. How do you get away with making fun of your relatives on your blog? I want to do that, but now I’ve told them about mine and not that they’ve ever except for possibly one time looked in, I live in fear that they might. Which sadly, I am just now realizing, means that even after all these years they still control what I say. Damn it.

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  7. LOVE the photos!
    And girl, I spent the drive from Texas – New Mexico – California AND BACK with one dog on my lap and another leaning between the bucket seats. I may or may not have lost my mind and screamed at my precious bear for shifting his ass one too many times. But I apologized.
    Love the dock photo, chipmunks and all. Seriously, you are oh, so cute in that one!

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  8. Oh yeah. Tallulah met her cousin Garp. Garp bayed. Like this:
    “Bowr!
    Bowr!
    Bowr!
    Bowr!”
    The end.
    And I also didn’t mention she met Buster, Millie and Jack, with no incident. Oh, and Goldie, who she kind of bullied.

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  9. Okay, so I wasn’t going to say anything at first, but as your first cousin, I must tell you that I am somewhat distraught by having NO MENTION of me anywhere in your vacation blog. When I first saw Gus, who tried to KILL Lula, I thought, “Surely she will get to me as the very epitome of a gentleman.” But nooooooooo. And then another Gus pic and another Beagle? But not me? And I was nice enough, when I met Lula on a walk, to race to the other side of the street, curl up in a ball and tremble. No mention for even that?

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  10. First have to say – you rescued Lula and she adores you for it! It’s so clear! You are indeed her mommy.
    Love all the photos – but Gus trying to look cool and not show how obviously ANNOYED he is by Lula is pretty funny. As is sleeping Uncle. And Marving waxing poetic.
    And, (don’t you hate it when people start sentences with And?) keep them dang chipmunks in Michigan, will ya? We’ve got WAY too many here in Massachusetts.

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  11. No woman really ever gets back-fat. It’s actually the migration of our breast tissue. It’s quite sexy, if you think about it.
    Or not.

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  12. LOVE the photo at the hotel of Lula jet-cooling her pits! You know they say dogs can’t sweat although you may have had different experience with her on your lap for 600 miles.

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  13. Happy Homecoming!
    Your first picture was the exact image I had in my mind. Loved seeing the rest of your vaca pictures too! Thanks, June!

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