Current Affairs · Health · June's stupid life

I’m sure Kenyans bring their cameras to their marathons

Getting ready to pack for tomorrow. I understand that there are people out there who would have packed their bags already, and to you people I say, "?" I am bringing my extra pair of running shoes in case the one pair spontaneously combusts or something. I know what pants I'm gonna do the marathon… Continue reading I’m sure Kenyans bring their cameras to their marathons

June's stupid life · My pets

My mouth is dry. My face is numb. Past the point of delirium.

I wanted to take a picture of Winston today, because he rocks. Winston is the kind of cat who purrs when you pick him up. He is the kind of cat you could dress in doll clothes, if you were seven or a completely berserk adult. I heart him so bad. However. SOMEbody has to… Continue reading My mouth is dry. My face is numb. Past the point of delirium.

Current Affairs · Food and Drink · June's stupid life

Okay, bye

Scary storm here. So scary and boomy. If I do not live through it, it was nice knowing you all. Most of you in the biblical sense! Also? MacKenzie Phillips was arrested for drugs today. Why do I always believe people when they say they are sober? Finally, if this really is the last time… Continue reading Okay, bye

Health · I am berserk · June's stupid life

Cytocrab

Oh, I'm in a foul mood. Foul. My half marathon is THIS SUNDAY, dawg. Sunday. And you know how last time I did a long run I was Crampy Achingass. This generally means that I was devoid of electrolytes, a fact that became evident to me once my friend Kista reminded me that cramps mean… Continue reading Cytocrab

Friends · June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Hear, Hear

Do I have too much lipstick on? Once, a long time ago, Target opened in my hometown, so my friend Saginawman and I went to the grand opening. It's Saginaw, what do you want from us? Of course we went to the Target grand opening. For no reason that we could glean, on sale at… Continue reading Hear, Hear

June's stupid life · Photo essays

I Dream of Jeans

You'll be surprised to hear that I do not own a new pair of jeans. I tried on 15 pair at four different stores, at every corner of this DING DANG city, and I had no luck. And no Lucky's. I left Tallulah to vigilantly guard the house as I headed out. I was so… Continue reading I Dream of Jeans

Family · June's stupid life · Proofreading/Copy editing

I was dreamin’ when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray

So, we're in agreement, then, that I should cut all my hair off? And that the curly thing won't be an issue? And that Rihanna and Prince are not at all the same person? Frankie, who can't relax, sent me an email saying my proposed haircut would be fine, as long as I understood I… Continue reading I was dreamin’ when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray

I am berserk · June's stupid life · Proofreading/Copy editing

Casual Disease Day

I find Casual Friday at work harder to dress for than that phony business casual we are supposed to sport the rest of the week. It is hard to wear jeans and still look polished. Because folks? Casual day does not translate to look-like-crap day, as some seem to think. At any rate, I think… Continue reading Casual Disease Day

June's stupid life · Marvin

Home Alone

Do you know what I came home to? AN EMPTY HOUSE, that's what I came home to. Today is Marvin's first full day back at work, making it the first day in 15 months that we have both had full-time jobs. Yay. After work, Marvin had band practice or horseshoes or scrapbooking or something. He… Continue reading Home Alone

June's stupid life · Marvin

My Interview with Marvin

At long last, your burning, itching Marvin questions will be answered. I should warn you that Marvin has never answered a question seriously in his life. My comments, because I can't ever shut up, are in parentheses and pink. I wanted to title this Farmer Goy, but Marvin tells me "goy" means NOT Jewish. I… Continue reading My Interview with Marvin

I am berserk · June's stupid life

Am I buggin’ ya? I don’t mean to bug ya.

Hey! You know how I have always had a dark blue VW Bug? Today it turned yellow! And became a 2008! Let's also take a moment to discuss my arse, which I think is presenting itself in the same pair of jeans in both pictures, 8 months apart. Okay, maybe the running is helping. Plus,… Continue reading Am I buggin’ ya? I don’t mean to bug ya.

Health · June's stupid life · Marvin · My pets

I feel pretty

I woke up with a migraine today. Can you tell? This is a picture I took just now, at 5 in the afternoon. A lot was accomplished today. My hair seems like it got a lot done. It is a terrible migraine. As opposed to those wonderful ones we've heard so much about. When you… Continue reading I feel pretty

June's stupid life · Marvin

An aMAZEing story.

Marvin is getting things ready for his classroom. This year's theme, apparently, is, "Platitudes." Actually, I think his signs are cute. And full of the spongy decorations! I take issue, however, with his "There are no shortcuts." And yes, he did make it one word. See the dash after "short," there? Like I'd let him… Continue reading An aMAZEing story.

June's stupid life · Los Angeles

It’s Raining Maintenance Men (not THAT maintenance man)

Well now, seriously. I can't work. They are putting in new stair runners, and my office is six centimeters from the stairs. Which kind of makes you wonder if I am a professional banister. The workers are bellowing at each other in Spanish, which I find comforting, even though it obliterates any hope of proofreading… Continue reading It’s Raining Maintenance Men (not THAT maintenance man)

June's stupid life · My pets

Why I feel like Courtney Love’s mom

Okay, so Tallulah plays rough. What can I tell you? Fortunately, she has a friend at the dog park, Cooper, who plays just as roughly as she does. Cooper is her age, and is half Lab/half Foxhound. You don't want to mess with Cooper. I have seen him catapult over a Great Dane. He eats… Continue reading Why I feel like Courtney Love’s mom

June's stupid life · Marvin

The Princess and the Peaked Soap

I have to go to work, but remind me to tell you later how Dogtavius and I are kind of banned from dog park. Humiliating. I may try to put a mustache on her and take her back. But the reason I have gathered you all here today is to ask you about soap. How… Continue reading The Princess and the Peaked Soap

June's stupid life · Television

The loneliness of the nonrunner

I have put off running all day, and as a result have done absolutely nothing. I read my diary from 1998, and got depressed when I realized I have exactly the same problems today. Nice advancement through life. Also, I watched the Olympics --which is pretty of me, watching others excel athletically as a way… Continue reading The loneliness of the nonrunner

Health · June's stupid life · My pets

May weekend

Lately, Marvin and I have been obsessed with what Tallulah's name used to be, before we stole her. We have started calling out dog names at her to see if she reacts. We started with the obvious Max and Bailey, because 99% of the dogs in the world seem to be named Max and Bailey,… Continue reading May weekend