Lunch: lettuce, tuna, fat-free, sugar-free pudding, and a giant box of Kleenex

I feel crappy. My throat is so hurty! Marvin had a cold all last week, because he teaches those germ-ridden, Typhoid Mary children all day, and I just formed the thought yesterday, "Gee. I didn't catch that cold" and boom. God hates me. So basically, all I want to do is lay my head on … Continue reading Lunch: lettuce, tuna, fat-free, sugar-free pudding, and a giant box of Kleenex

Hold it! Hooollld it! Breaking Biscuitville News!

During my 3 p.m. walk at work today, I learned from a local that the little biscuit sandwiches I ate were PARTY biscuits, and not the regular ones. Wooo! So, I had 10 grams of fat for breakfast, not 60. Okay. Now I can eat today. Party biscuits. You call that a party? It was … Continue reading Hold it! Hooollld it! Breaking Biscuitville News!

Today’s food groups: fat, fat, fat and oh yes, fat.

We had an 8:15 meeting this morning, and our boss brought ham and sausage biscuits from Biscuitville for everyone. Whenever I see those Biscuitville signs I think of my cat Francis, making biscuits on me. If you have a cat, you know what I mean. If you don't, you are seeing my cat in a … Continue reading Today’s food groups: fat, fat, fat and oh yes, fat.

I’d walk a mile for a Camel. But my pedometer would say I walked .70.

I am the only person you know who has a nervous fit over a pedometer. Yesterday I decided to go up to the attic, not because I was hoping Greg Brady lived up there, but because it seems like we tossed an inordinate amount of stuff  up there when we moved in that -- turns … Continue reading I’d walk a mile for a Camel. But my pedometer would say I walked .70.

The party is in my pants. So the party is in the dryer, then.

I haven't got time to talk to you, girl. My dinner party starts in less than an hour, and my large hair and I are ready. I am just waiting on my jeans to dry. I look annoyed in this photo, but I'm actually not annoyed about anything. Except perhaps the width of my hair. … Continue reading The party is in my pants. So the party is in the dryer, then.

Maybe Weight Watchers just means we wear really heavy watches.

Ridiculous Winston killed a chipmunk today, and left it in our driveway. Now I worry about how Chip or Dale, whoever survived, feels. I have put two different bells on that cat, and he somehow manages to shag them the minute my back is turned. He needs less catbell. Anyway. I finally got to go … Continue reading Maybe Weight Watchers just means we wear really heavy watches.

Tallulah, Oprah, coffee, geese, death, and dip

It was actually rather cool tonight when I walked Tallulah. I'd say this is the first time since May that I did not perspire during the walk. Some woman walking with tiny weights said, "Naace naaght to be out, inn't?" Why do people walk with those tiny weights? Does it really make a difference? So, … Continue reading Tallulah, Oprah, coffee, geese, death, and dip

If that’s true, then how do Eskimos open their doors?

Greetings from that place they call lunch. When Marvin worked on movies, he used to say his two favorite words were, "That's lunch!" I guess that meant we are done filming for now, so go eat at that Craft Services table. But what do I know. Maybe "That's lunch!" meant Pam Anderson is waiting for … Continue reading If that’s true, then how do Eskimos open their doors?

Sine-Aid

I just got a call from Dr. Yoo. IT'S A SINUS INFECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not a tumaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (I cannot believe I just said that. You have no idea how many times I have heard that in the last two weeks.) Yay.