June's stupid life · Music

I’m aliiiiive!

At work till 7:00 tonight. Hate. So I will write tomorrow, or late tonight. But I wanted to say hi and put a terrible song in your head, which I similarly put in the heads of my carpool: Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight. My mama always said… Continue reading I’m aliiiiive!

Film · June's stupid life · Marvin

Cuba, France, college

Well! That was a lively political discussion. And people were pretty much kind to each other, which is good. I mean, does passionate have to translate to unkind? In the meantime, I have just seen my new favorite movie, which is, like, 10 years old. What do you want from me? I'm a busy executive.… Continue reading Cuba, France, college

Food and Drink · Health · June's stupid life · Photo essays

Pie and I got back together

Have I mentioned I feel hideous? Oh, with the body aches and the sniffing already. Today at work we had our quarterly meeting wherein we celebrate whatever birthdays happened in the past three months. Therefore we celebrated mine and I'm afraid there was...pie. Now, isn't the NAME of this blog Bye Bye, PIE? Yeah. I… Continue reading Pie and I got back together

Health · June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Lunch: lettuce, tuna, fat-free, sugar-free pudding, and a giant box of Kleenex

I feel crappy. My throat is so hurty! Marvin had a cold all last week, because he teaches those germ-ridden, Typhoid Mary children all day, and I just formed the thought yesterday, "Gee. I didn't catch that cold" and boom. God hates me. So basically, all I want to do is lay my head on… Continue reading Lunch: lettuce, tuna, fat-free, sugar-free pudding, and a giant box of Kleenex

Food and Drink · Health · June's stupid life

Hold it! Hooollld it! Breaking Biscuitville News!

During my 3 p.m. walk at work today, I learned from a local that the little biscuit sandwiches I ate were PARTY biscuits, and not the regular ones. Wooo! So, I had 10 grams of fat for breakfast, not 60. Okay. Now I can eat today. Party biscuits. You call that a party? It was… Continue reading Hold it! Hooollld it! Breaking Biscuitville News!

Food and Drink · June's stupid life

Today’s food groups: fat, fat, fat and oh yes, fat.

We had an 8:15 meeting this morning, and our boss brought ham and sausage biscuits from Biscuitville for everyone. Whenever I see those Biscuitville signs I think of my cat Francis, making biscuits on me. If you have a cat, you know what I mean. If you don't, you are seeing my cat in a… Continue reading Today’s food groups: fat, fat, fat and oh yes, fat.

Grammar and Spelling · I am berserk · June's stupid life

I’d walk a mile for a Camel. But my pedometer would say I walked .70.

I am the only person you know who has a nervous fit over a pedometer. Yesterday I decided to go up to the attic, not because I was hoping Greg Brady lived up there, but because it seems like we tossed an inordinate amount of stuff  up there when we moved in that -- turns… Continue reading I’d walk a mile for a Camel. But my pedometer would say I walked .70.

Food and Drink · June's stupid life

The party is in my pants. So the party is in the dryer, then.

I haven't got time to talk to you, girl. My dinner party starts in less than an hour, and my large hair and I are ready. I am just waiting on my jeans to dry. I look annoyed in this photo, but I'm actually not annoyed about anything. Except perhaps the width of my hair.… Continue reading The party is in my pants. So the party is in the dryer, then.

Health · June's stupid life

Cat, skinned = 10 points

Holy frijoles, is there ANYONE who hasn't been on Weight Watchers? Man! Let's talk about how hungry I am. I am watching Winston clean himself and I'm wondering how he'd taste with a little Stove Top shoved in him. My problem was, I started off the day with some of my old, fattening yogurt, and… Continue reading Cat, skinned = 10 points

Health · June's stupid life · My pets

Maybe Weight Watchers just means we wear really heavy watches.

Ridiculous Winston killed a chipmunk today, and left it in our driveway. Now I worry about how Chip or Dale, whoever survived, feels. I have put two different bells on that cat, and he somehow manages to shag them the minute my back is turned. He needs less catbell. Anyway. I finally got to go… Continue reading Maybe Weight Watchers just means we wear really heavy watches.

June's stupid life · Los Angeles · Uncle Jim

Tallulah, Oprah, coffee, geese, death, and dip

It was actually rather cool tonight when I walked Tallulah. I'd say this is the first time since May that I did not perspire during the walk. Some woman walking with tiny weights said, "Naace naaght to be out, inn't?" Why do people walk with those tiny weights? Does it really make a difference? So,… Continue reading Tallulah, Oprah, coffee, geese, death, and dip

June's stupid life · Marvin

If that’s true, then how do Eskimos open their doors?

Greetings from that place they call lunch. When Marvin worked on movies, he used to say his two favorite words were, "That's lunch!" I guess that meant we are done filming for now, so go eat at that Craft Services table. But what do I know. Maybe "That's lunch!" meant Pam Anderson is waiting for… Continue reading If that’s true, then how do Eskimos open their doors?

Food and Drink · June's stupid life

Gettin’ the monkey off my back.

I holed myself up in my office all morning, so that I wouldn't see the coffee pot in the break area. That beautiful, beautiful coffee pot. It is now lunchtime, so the dang thing is no longer in use. Thank heavens they don't make coffee all day here. I'd have to pee in my chair.… Continue reading Gettin’ the monkey off my back.

Food and Drink · June's stupid life · My pets · Uncle Jim

PetSmart…

...inventing things you don't need to spend your money on, since 1986. I am particularly taken with how Francis has a little sparkle in each eye. It is the sparkle of evil, trust me. My witchy cat aside, HOW LONG AM I GOING TO HAVE A HEADACHE? Going without caffeine. Makes me cheerful. And not… Continue reading PetSmart…

Health · June's stupid life

My magnetic personality

I am at lunch, so Tee, you can relax. But I just wanted to pop in and say I had my MRI and it was almost relaxing. I just kept my eyes closed through the whole thing, so I had no idea that I was in any kind of horrifying tube. Plus, they played music… Continue reading My magnetic personality