A post about my grandmother, and I don’t know why

I forgot to tell you that I also like cigarette smoke, which can probably be explained by the fact that my grandmother spent every second of her life with a cigarette hanging out her mouth. She could do anything with a cigarette hanging: sing a lullaby, peel a potato, nap. I have nothing but happy … Continue reading A post about my grandmother, and I don’t know why

Who

is gonna eat my throat the moment I fall asleep tonight? Look, she's staring at my jugular right there. Why I have no pants? Lula posing for Playdog? They actually did have camouflage, but I couldn't bring myself to buy it. I think she looks sort of retro sexy in her baby-blue cableknit.

You light up my dog sweater

Does anyone else get positively skeeved out when their dog touches them with their wet, disgusting nose? Am I the worst "animal companion" mother on earth for thinking my dog's nose is disgusting? It's just so COLD. Blugh. (I hate the phrase animal companion. In LA, they were starting to say feline- and canine-American. No, … Continue reading You light up my dog sweater

Because this is supposed to be a health blog. Remember?

I have a guest poster today. A few months ago, I was asked to read a diet book by this author, below, who has written a book called Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen. I agreed to read it because the title cracked me up. So without further ado, whatever ado is, here is … Continue reading Because this is supposed to be a health blog. Remember?

I am so making Mr. Blackwell’s worst-dressed list this year

Well, that was tough. It took me 15 minutes to trap Mr. Blackwell, the other feral kitten. I got to work at 2:15, after spending a stimulating morning proofreading an index at home. I set the trap, and retired to my office. I brought my freelance work with me, because really, who can put down … Continue reading I am so making Mr. Blackwell’s worst-dressed list this year

What are the statistical probabilities I’ll get my Mallow Cup?

Remember in June, when I read a statistics textbook in my oh-so-abundant spare time? Remember how it liked to kill me? Remember how I said I'd never do that to myself again? Guess who has her another statistics textbook to proofread? I am going to be rare around here for the next two weeks. I … Continue reading What are the statistical probabilities I’ll get my Mallow Cup?