Bii! I meant to type "Boo!" Bii. Who annoys her own self? What migraine meds making me loopy? Bii. Were you terrified when I said bii? Did I startle you? Anyway, I am at lunch, speaking of scaring people--and by people you know I mean Tee, the nervousist Nellie there ever was. I figured since … Continue reading Juuuuuuuune scares you
All day today I wore my sweater inside-out. Someone at Fat Club finally pointed it out to me tonight. This means I chatted with coworkers, went into my boss's boss's office to discuss his fish tank, had lunch with a coworker, and generally lived my life all day with my sweater innards hanging out for … Continue reading Tanks, Tank!
I don't have any time to talk to you, because I want to get done with my stupid stupid stupid stupid statistics proofreading for the night and then I have to zip over to the grocery store because it is so my turn to buy coffee at work because I am the least teamy team … Continue reading Oooo, I also hate “Tusk”
I forgot to tell you that I also like cigarette smoke, which can probably be explained by the fact that my grandmother spent every second of her life with a cigarette hanging out her mouth. She could do anything with a cigarette hanging: sing a lullaby, peel a potato, nap. I have nothing but happy … Continue reading A post about my grandmother, and I don’t know why
I just voted. Go, whoever my candidate is! Do you like how close-mouthed and private I am? I am Mona Lisa, is what I am. Actually, the voting machine acted funny, and now I'm afraid my vote didn't count. I worry that my mysterious, I-wonder-who-she's-voting-for candidate will lose by one vote, and it'll be because … Continue reading Smells mysterious
Today Marvin and I went to the state fair. Yeah, I KNOW I have a statistics textbook due. But today was the last day of the fair! Apparently, this fact was lost on no one. What people? I particularly enjoyed the part where someone ran over my foot with a stroller. I got everyone's permission … Continue reading Fair thee well
is gonna eat my throat the moment I fall asleep tonight? Look, she's staring at my jugular right there. Why I have no pants? Lula posing for Playdog? They actually did have camouflage, but I couldn't bring myself to buy it. I think she looks sort of retro sexy in her baby-blue cableknit.
Does anyone else get positively skeeved out when their dog touches them with their wet, disgusting nose? Am I the worst "animal companion" mother on earth for thinking my dog's nose is disgusting? It's just so COLD. Blugh. (I hate the phrase animal companion. In LA, they were starting to say feline- and canine-American. No, … Continue reading You light up my dog sweater
Wasn't that fun, all of you telling me where you are from? I thought it was fun. I heard from nearly all the states except the detached ones, and also the Dakotas. Why? Why are the Dakotas too cool for June? Hmmm? Thank you all for participating in my Miss America contest, which really turned … Continue reading Manly yes, but I like it, too.
Faithful reader Clowdermama, who apparently is mother to much clowder, has come up with a brilliant idea. Where are you? Write in and tell me. I am hoping to hear from someone in every state, including the state of anxiety where I can usually be found, and also various and sundry continents. Is it redundant … Continue reading Where you at?
You can keep putting your name in to win that diet book. I am just posting again today anyway because I am trying to avoid proofreading one more word of that dinglity danglity statistics textbook. If this is the first time you have ever read this blog, you must be weeping with confusion by now. … Continue reading Re-view
A few months back, this promotional company asked if I'd read a diet book and review it, then give one away. They didn't offer me any money or anything but I said okay, sure. Because apparently I am affable like that. Then the deadline for posting my review got moved, which is good because I … Continue reading So, I’m giving away this diet book
...would the correct sentence be: I ate a Sonic chili cheese dog again and all I can taste ARE onions, or is it all I can taste IS onions?
I have a guest poster today. A few months ago, I was asked to read a diet book by this author, below, who has written a book called Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen. I agreed to read it because the title cracked me up. So without further ado, whatever ado is, here is … Continue reading Because this is supposed to be a health blog. Remember?
Look. My hair looks kinda long today. Isn't it funny how one day your hair just turns a corner and looks different from then on? I guess I am growing it out. I had cut it all off in order to grow out the gray, cause I was tired of dealing with dyeing it, but … Continue reading Hey aqua long
Well, that was tough. It took me 15 minutes to trap Mr. Blackwell, the other feral kitten. I got to work at 2:15, after spending a stimulating morning proofreading an index at home. I set the trap, and retired to my office. I brought my freelance work with me, because really, who can put down … Continue reading I am so making Mr. Blackwell’s worst-dressed list this year
Okay, so I will re-tell the story for anyone just tuning in, or for anyone who doesn't hang on my every word and read every single post. I work sort of out in the country, on a large what they annoyingly call a campus even though it isn't a school. There is a lot of … Continue reading Here’s the story, of a little kitty…
I got one! I trapped the gray one! I feel terrible, because the black one was pressed against the trap trying to comfort the gray. I have to call overzealous dog walker to see if she can foster Monsieur Nutty Gray Cat of Wildville. Oh! It is angry with me. Photos as soon as I … Continue reading Kitten alert!
You couldn't just Google Mallow Cup?
Remember in June, when I read a statistics textbook in my oh-so-abundant spare time? Remember how it liked to kill me? Remember how I said I'd never do that to myself again? Guess who has her another statistics textbook to proofread? I am going to be rare around here for the next two weeks. I … Continue reading What are the statistical probabilities I’ll get my Mallow Cup?