I am in here because Marvin is watching a documentary about seahorses. I am not even making that up. Really, how could I make that up?
I am surprised that Marvin would be pursuing any movie at this juncture, as we just returned from the movie Australia, which neither of us knew was 12 hours long. Seriously, if you do not know this? When you go to see the movie and you think you are at the part where it's the logical end? It is JUST BEGINNING!
And one thing Marvin is? Patient with movies that he is not enjoying. He doesn't suck the JOY out of everyone else's experience or anything. First he does the thing where he leans forward in his theater chair. Then he THROWS himself backwards with a sigh. Sometimes he does a loud, theatrical snoring sound.
In this movie, every time you thought it was over and they went on to a new plot twist? Which was about 11 different times in the movie? Marvin would say, "Oh, come on" in the world's most exasperated voice. At one point American planes flew in and Hugh Jackman said, "Those are Yanks, what are they doing here?" "Making the movie longer, that's what they're doing here," Marvin said.
Marvin needs meditation or yoga or something.
Anyway, seriously two hours and forty-five minutes later, the movie was over, and as the credits rolled, Marvin sat motionless. "I know there's more. They'll show outtakes or bloopers or something." I made him leave before all the other people in the theater stoned us.
Even thought the film took place during World War II, as we got into the car, Marvin said, "I thought for sure we'd get through the Korean War, Vietnam, then I expected Men at Work to show up in a video."
Marvin does not enjoy a bad film. I guess he is trying to cleanse his palate with the seahorses.
I thought it was sort of okay. I mean, Hugh Jackman. How bad can it be?
We also went to the Natural Science Center today, because it is important that we leave our house of pets to go look at other animals. It'd be like if you got a babysitter so you could go to Gymboree or something. We went into the room with (ALERT, TEE! SNAKE MENTION COMING UP!) snakes, and while I am not hoping to see one coiled up in my yard, I am fine with them behind glass.
So I was peacefully staring at an (BRACE YOURSELF, TEE!) anaconda, when this woman with a toddler came up and tapped on the glass.
If you want to make me happy? Be sure to come tap on the glass at some poor trapped animal's cage. Because I'm certain you're not the NINETIETH person to do that today, so rest assured it is (a) really effective at getting the animal's attention and (12) not at all annoying to the poor thing. So I basically was already irritated at this woman.
"Ugh," she said. "Look at that thing. Ugh. It's sick, disgusting, and gross. That's what it is. Ack. I can't look at these snakes." She made her way to the next tank and tap-tap-tapped.
"Um, you're really not supposed to tap on the cage. See the signs?" I told her. I can't help it. I'm sure if the snakes could TALK they would say the same thing. Only in a more hissy fashion.
"So," I said, trying to seem not like the prissy busybody I was, "you don't like snakes, then?"
"No," the woman said, "I have a real phobia. But I'm trying not to pass it on to my daughter."
Now, what part of "ack" "disgusting" and "gross" is going to give your impressionable child a POSITIVE, UNPHOBIC feeling about snakes?
I don't know why I go to science centers. I just get angry.
However, they had a lot of cool stuff there, including an infrared camera that showed my hair was much colder than Marvin's mostly because it was so much further away from my body.
And speaking of Marvin and me, there were two monkeys there, and I do not know what kind so don't even ask. They were the cute kind. Anyway, there was a blonde one and a black one, and you could walk up and see them in this big yard. Well. The black one? Sitting off to himself, happily eating an apple. He didn't care who was looking at him. He had his apple and he was all set.
The blonde? Holy crap. That monkey was swing-swing-swinging from rope to rope, TWIRLING around on the ground, literally dancing for the crowd. There were two windows on either side of its yard, and it would leap to each window and entertain each crowd separately. While the black one ate its apple.
We watched them for a long time before it hit me. They were us! I was the blonde crowd-pleaser, twirling and grabbing my rope, and Marvin was the apple-eater. Now I totally wish I had brought a camera.
Did you know that seahorses are being overfished because some cultures think that consuming seahorses makes them more virile? Also, they live on sea ranches and they can change colors.
They are hard to ride sidesaddle.
You can start with the theatrical snoring at any time, now.