Peedaddle. Which trust me, is a euphemism for some much stronger language, over here. I just spent an HOUR writing an whole huge post, and the thing got lost. Many bad words are being said here in the house of the Gardensalad.
So let me reiterate, before I was so RUDELY interrupted by stupid stupid stoooopid computers and their technology.
The first and most important thing I was telling you was that I declared it Talk Like Fred Snyder Day, which was created precisely to annoy the bijingles out of Marvin, and that it did.
Fred Snyder is that guy from the B-52s. It's easy to talk like him. Just say lots of simple declarative sentences, but say it LIKE IT'S A PARTY!
EVERYBODY'S TURNING RIGHT ON RED!
It's also helpful to bop your head a little.
LET'S! TURN ON RED!
When we got home today from our many adventures, Tallulah had barfed on the couch.
THERE'S BARF ON THE COUCH! IT'S CALLED THE BARF! AND EVERYBODY MUST HELP! CLEAN IT!
Oh, Marvin hates me today.
Also, we had depressing news. Our beautiful cat, Ruby, continues to do not so well. I do not wish to get into the particulars, but we took her to our vet today, Dr. Ho, an excellent vet whose name Marvin and I are not obsessed with in the slightest. Is she a PhD in prostitution? Is she a doctor and also a ho? Our maturity is limitless.
Anyway, the end result is that Ruby now gets her own room. She is in the spare bedroom with her own litter pan, food, bed, and she seems to be enjoying this tremendously, actually.
And Tallulah and Winston? OBSESSED. Obsessed with the spare room. Neither of these bozos could've given two hoots about that room until some sick cat was convalescing in there, and now there is nothing more compelling than those four walls. Winston got his easel and told me he wants to capture the room at sunset with his watercolors. Tallulah got her smudge stick and said she needs to get in there to remove the room of bad energy.
Whatever with those two and their snouts at the door.
Francis, who is similarly old and crotchety, spends most of his day glaring at all of us from his pink chair, so he does not care where Ruby is. He has lived with Ruby for 11 years and has rarely cared where Ruby is, actually.
But the good news is this. Do you remember in June, when my next-door neighbor Peg came over? I really, sincerely hope you do not remember that, because that is just too much June trivia to have, there. Anyway, Peg is an interior designer, a fancy one, which I know not because she said, "I'm fancy!" but because I figured it out when I went to her house and saw her awards.
Anyway, way back in June she came over and suggested I ixnay all the small ookshelvesbay. For those of you not sophisticated and bilingual in pig latin such as myself, I will explain.
As an English major, I have manymanymany books. And may I remind you I moved from Michigan to Seattle, Seattle to LA, and LA to here? You'd think I'd have PARED DOWN the books, and I have. But still, with the books already. But as an English major, I have always been poor and cheap, and therefore I have always ended up buying small bookshelves instead of investing in large ones.
Are you expanding these pictures and looking at my books? Oooo, stop! I feel so invaded.
Hunh. A smallish bookshelf. And yes, that is a painting of a pie. I am actually not that obsessed with pie.
And I know there are at least three beauty and diet books visible on this bookshelf. I want you to know I a really not that shallow.
Oh heck, I am so.
Hey! Is that a small bookshelf? And also an obsessed Winston at Ruby's door? So the reason I never bought said bookshelves is because it would have cost nearly a thousand bucks to do so. But today I got a bug up my rear and I said to Marvin, LET'S GO TO THE STORE! THE UNFURNISHED STORE!
Then I bopped my head.
And do you know? They were GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. I had no idea. We got three 84" shelves for 184 bucks each, which is a savings of 11 million dollars. I am standing here beside myself.
WE'RE SAVING ROOM! EVERYBODY'S SAVING ROOM!