Peedaddle. Which trust me, is a euphemism for some much stronger language, over here. I just spent an HOUR writing an whole huge post, and the thing got lost. Many bad words are being said here in the house of the Gardensalad.

So let me reiterate, before I was so RUDELY interrupted by stupid stupid stoooopid computers and their technology.

The first and most important thing I was telling you was that I declared it Talk Like Fred Snyder Day, which was created precisely to annoy the bijingles out of Marvin, and that it did.

Fred Snyder is that guy from the B-52s. It's easy to talk like him. Just say lots of simple declarative sentences, but say it LIKE IT'S A PARTY!

EVERYBODY'S TURNING RIGHT ON RED!

It's also helpful to bop your head a little.

LET'S! TURN ON RED!

When we got home today from our many adventures, Tallulah had barfed on the couch.

THERE'S BARF ON THE COUCH! IT'S CALLED  THE BARF! AND EVERYBODY MUST HELP! CLEAN IT!

Oh, Marvin hates me today.

 Also, we had depressing news. Our beautiful cat, Ruby, continues to do not so well. I do not wish to get into the particulars, but we took her to our vet today, Dr. Ho, an excellent vet whose name Marvin and I are not obsessed with in the slightest. Is she a PhD in prostitution? Is she a doctor and also a ho? Our maturity is limitless.DSCF1002

Anyway, the end result is that Ruby now gets her own room. She is in the spare bedroom with her own litter pan, food, bed, and she seems to be enjoying this tremendously, actually.

And Tallulah and Winston? OBSESSED. Obsessed with the spare room. Neither of these bozos could've given two hoots about that room until some sick cat was convalescing in there, and now there is nothing more compelling than those four walls. Winston got his easel and told me he wants to capture the room at sunset with his watercolors. Tallulah got her smudge stick and said she needs to get in there to remove the room of bad energy.

Whatever with those two and their snouts at the door.

Francis, who is similarly old and crotchety, spends most of his day glaring at all of us from his pink chair,  so he does not care where Ruby is. He has lived with Ruby for 11 years and has rarely cared where Ruby is, actually.

But the good news is this. Do you remember in June, when my next-door neighbor Peg came over? I really, sincerely hope you do not remember that, because that is just too much June trivia to have, there. Anyway, Peg is an interior designer, a fancy one, which I know not because she said, "I'm fancy!" but because I figured it out when I went to her house and saw her awards.

Anyway, way back in June she came over and suggested I ixnay all the small ookshelvesbay. For those of you not sophisticated and bilingual in pig latin such as myself, I will explain.

Front door 

As an English major, I have manymanymany books. And may I remind you I moved from Michigan to Seattle, Seattle to LA, and LA to here? You'd think I'd have PARED DOWN the books, and I have. But still, with the books already. But as an English major, I have always been poor and cheap, and therefore I have always ended up buying small bookshelves instead of investing in large ones.

Are you expanding these pictures and looking at my books? Oooo, stop! I feel so invaded.

Pie 

Hunh. A smallish bookshelf. And yes, that is a painting of a pie. I am actually not that obsessed with pie.

And I know there are at least three beauty and diet books visible on this bookshelf. I want you to know I a really not that shallow.

Oh heck, I am so.

Back porchWell, have you ever? A small bookshelf! So, way back in June, my fancy neighbor took me to the unfinished furniture store, which does not mean the store is unfinished, but rather the furniture is.

Hall 

Hey! Is that a small bookshelf? And also an obsessed Winston at Ruby's door? So the reason I never bought said bookshelves is because it would have cost nearly a thousand bucks to do so. But today I got a bug up my rear and I said to Marvin, LET'S GO TO THE STORE! THE UNFURNISHED STORE!

Then I bopped my head.

And do you know? They were GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. I had no idea. We got three 84" shelves for 184 bucks each, which is a savings of 11 million dollars. I am standing here beside myself.

WE'RE SAVING ROOM! EVERYBODY'S SAVING ROOM!

35 thoughts on “Shelf this

  1. lauren says:

    yay i LOVE big bookshelves. size really does matter.

    Like

  2. Oh I hope Ruby feels better soon.
    And it’s also sad how many businesses are going out of biz. YIKES! But there are good deals to be had, that’s for sure and certain! 🙂 I’m waiting for them to mark Paige Premium jeans 90% off. Then I will buy 10 pairs of them. I like me the Paige Premiums.

    Like

  3. Aubrey says:

    I love the “How Not to Get Old” book. DON’T! GET OLD!

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  4. June says:

    Dear Sleeping Crabby,
    I know. Marvin told me. I am too lazy to fix it, tho. Nice job returning my call today.

    Like

  5. Sleeping Beauty says:

    It’s Fred SCHNEIDER. And I can’t BELIEVE I’m the first one in these comments to point that out.

    Like

  6. Capri K says:

    YOU’RE LIVING IN YOUR OWN PRIVATE IDAHO!!!!
    I’ll bet its FUN. Head bop.
    Hope your kitty-witty feels better soon.

    Like

  7. Nancy in FL says:

    More humbling, however, is the fact that I brought my son in and asked him what it was.
    Pie. Huh.

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  8. Nancy in FL says:

    8 Track1?! Seriously?!? If you wait, like, 100 years, you may just have an antique on your hands! LOL
    That pie is driving me nutso. I kept trying to figure out why you wanted a smooshed up painting of a dogs face surrounded by leaves. Seriously, if you look at it, I can see one eye, a dog triangle for a nose, and a smiling mouth. I just couldn’t figure out why the ear was covering the other eye and why the ding dang thing was so compressed into a round circle. Impressionist doggie? Then it hit me. OH! Meringue pie! Duh!

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  9. arlene says:

    “ookselvesbay”??? What The FOOEY?????

    Like

  10. arlene says:

    Congrats on finding a killer sale on said ookselvesbay. *sending a little scratch for behind Ruby’s ears* Love the pix of Winston with his nose stuck under the door as far as he can. Is it possible that sweet, sick little Ruby is enjoying her private suite BECAUSE Winston and Lula are jealous? Peace to the Gardensalad home.
    Q: Are you going to paint, stain, faux, or whatever, on those ‘unfinished’ ookselvesbay? Decisions, decisions, decisions. Carp.

    Like

  11. Anonymous says:

    I’m so embarrassed. I had expanded your picture to peruse your books. Then, you called me out on it. You do have a nice variety of books.
    Hope the kitty is well.

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  12. Denise in Las Vegas says:

    I am so sorry about Ruby. I worked for a vet years ago and always got so attached to the elderly kitties. I have forbidden my 10 year old Aria Kitty to age.
    Thank you for telling us that was a picture of a pie. I was wondering what was up with the weird art piece of a condom!

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  13. sis in law says:

    How did Marvin get Grandma’s polar bear? He gets all the good stuff. And I am cracking up at the polar beat stalking the sardines.

    Like

  14. Bonnie says:

    Gentle pats for Ruby. Hope she improves fast.
    Also, do you ever have time to read all those books? I was an English major, too, but my collection of dust exceeds my collection of books.

    Like

  15. disco duck says:

    Shana, I too have a garage full of old 8 tracks.All the hits from the 70’s.My husband bought his vintage stereo on ebay.

    Like

  16. donna says:

    well, not a true Aussie—have lived in Australia since 1970. I am a true Oregon girl.

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  17. Linda .. the Aussie one!! says:

    Get well soon Ruby! Oh look two Aussies commenting one after the other! :o)

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  18. donna says:

    Get well soon Ruby!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  19. Shana says:

    If you send me your eight-track player for Christmas, I’ll be your Best Friend Forever. I have a giant box of eight tracks in my garage, and the idea of never hearing Glen Campbell’s Rhinestone Cowboy with the eight-track track changing gap in the middle is more than I can bear.

    Like

  20. Leah says:

    If you end up using Live Writer and like it…you owe me a piece of pie…you are too obsessed;)

    Like

  21. Leah says:

    My husband says that I need to recommend Windows Live Writer to you. He said its like Word for blogs and works with typepad and saves every five minutes so you will never lose a post! I use it… its easy so I do recommend it!
    http://get.live.com/wl/all

    Like

  22. J says:

    p.s.s notice the time of previous post. I am not having diarrhea or vomiting. just a night owl.

    Like

  23. J says:

    For the longest time I’ve been meaning to ask if you have a favorite book. Please make a list of your top favorites for us!
    Would you consider a starting an on-line book club? (I know you have all this spare time to read.)
    p.s I’ve never tried oak leaf pie but it looks yummy.

    Like

  24. Jenene says:

    I also noticed that little superman statue. And I thought MY husband was bad, for still holding on to his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures (which I hid from him so that he wouldn’t put them up somewhere in our house for everyone to see).

    Like

  25. girly stuff says:

    I hope your kitty feels better!
    So where are these new bookshelves? Are they as Raw as Eddie Murphy? He liked poop jokes too!

    Like

  26. Oh, my goodness – I have never understood what ixnay meant until you spelled it out for me. Really. I always pictured it as “icksnay” and I couldn’t figure out what “snick” meant.
    Thank you.

    Like

  27. Gigi says:

    June, you know the Nester! She can help you!!
    And hey, why don’t I have a Superman figurine in my house?

    Like

  28. Burfica says:

    I’m so glad Joy turned me on to your blog, cuz now I know there is proof that there are people just as crazy as me. hahahahahaha
    Hope poor Ruby feels better soon too.

    Like

  29. susan says:

    (((hugs))) to Ruby! Hope she feels better soon.

    Like

  30. I Spy says:

    Your post shows up twice in my reader.
    Growing up, I always wanted one of the ball radios.

    Like

  31. chacha says:

    I’m sorry about your kitty. And the furniture store. Everything is going out of business – it’s starting to freak me out.
    So Pig Latin? Are you a Three Stooges fan? I love those crazy Jews. I used to stay up with my father on New Years Eve and watch the 3 Stooges marathon they’d play on channel 38 (Beantown). 38. Yeah – back when your TV had a knob for UHF or VHF channels – remember that crap?.
    Now I keep visualizing the Love Shack video because you mentioned the B-52s.
    Ooodgay ucklay ithway ouryay ookbay elveshay.

    Like

  32. Cristy says:

    What a fabulous deal! Congrats. Sorry to hear that Ruby hasn’t been feeling well/better. I hope that having a private suite at Chez Gardensalad makes her feel a ton better. What are the red, blue, yellow, and green ball things on the the top shelf below the pie picture? Because I’m secretly copying our life and I have to get me some. Oh, I guess its not a secret now, is it?

    Like

  33. Bell says:

    I’ll tell you what I saw: I saw View Master film-things. I see these everyday at my house but I have three small children. Who is looking at the View Master at your house? Please tell me it is Marvin.

    Like

  34. M says:

    Love (love) l*o*v*e the red 8 track setting on the bookshelf.What is the cassette that is in it? Warmest get well wishes to Ruby.

    Like

  35. Tee says:

    I’m so sorry your Ruby is not doing well. Why am I not surprised that Winston and Lula are so interested in the spare bedroom? You know are pets are our fur babies. LOL! Are you sure it was the d.o.g. that threw up on the sofa? It could have been Winston and he lied and said it was Lula.
    Does your designer neighbor have some great ideas on rearranging all of your books? Superman statue, very interesting.

    Like

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