Shelf this

Peedaddle. Which trust me, is a euphemism for some much stronger language, over here. I just spent an HOUR writing an whole huge post, and the thing got lost. Many bad words are being said here in the house of the Gardensalad.

So let me reiterate, before I was so RUDELY interrupted by stupid stupid stoooopid computers and their technology.

The first and most important thing I was telling you was that I declared it Talk Like Fred Snyder Day, which was created precisely to annoy the bijingles out of Marvin, and that it did.

Fred Snyder is that guy from the B-52s. It's easy to talk like him. Just say lots of simple declarative sentences, but say it LIKE IT'S A PARTY!

EVERYBODY'S TURNING RIGHT ON RED!

It's also helpful to bop your head a little.

LET'S! TURN ON RED!

When we got home today from our many adventures, Tallulah had barfed on the couch.

THERE'S BARF ON THE COUCH! IT'S CALLED  THE BARF! AND EVERYBODY MUST HELP! CLEAN IT!

Oh, Marvin hates me today.

 Also, we had depressing news. Our beautiful cat, Ruby, continues to do not so well. I do not wish to get into the particulars, but we took her to our vet today, Dr. Ho, an excellent vet whose name Marvin and I are not obsessed with in the slightest. Is she a PhD in prostitution? Is she a doctor and also a ho? Our maturity is limitless.DSCF1002

Anyway, the end result is that Ruby now gets her own room. She is in the spare bedroom with her own litter pan, food, bed, and she seems to be enjoying this tremendously, actually.

And Tallulah and Winston? OBSESSED. Obsessed with the spare room. Neither of these bozos could've given two hoots about that room until some sick cat was convalescing in there, and now there is nothing more compelling than those four walls. Winston got his easel and told me he wants to capture the room at sunset with his watercolors. Tallulah got her smudge stick and said she needs to get in there to remove the room of bad energy.

Whatever with those two and their snouts at the door.

Francis, who is similarly old and crotchety, spends most of his day glaring at all of us from his pink chair,  so he does not care where Ruby is. He has lived with Ruby for 11 years and has rarely cared where Ruby is, actually.

But the good news is this. Do you remember in June, when my next-door neighbor Peg came over? I really, sincerely hope you do not remember that, because that is just too much June trivia to have, there. Anyway, Peg is an interior designer, a fancy one, which I know not because she said, "I'm fancy!" but because I figured it out when I went to her house and saw her awards.

Anyway, way back in June she came over and suggested I ixnay all the small ookshelvesbay. For those of you not sophisticated and bilingual in pig latin such as myself, I will explain.

Front door 

As an English major, I have manymanymany books. And may I remind you I moved from Michigan to Seattle, Seattle to LA, and LA to here? You'd think I'd have PARED DOWN the books, and I have. But still, with the books already. But as an English major, I have always been poor and cheap, and therefore I have always ended up buying small bookshelves instead of investing in large ones.

Are you expanding these pictures and looking at my books? Oooo, stop! I feel so invaded.

Pie 

Hunh. A smallish bookshelf. And yes, that is a painting of a pie. I am actually not that obsessed with pie.

And I know there are at least three beauty and diet books visible on this bookshelf. I want you to know I a really not that shallow.

Oh heck, I am so.

Back porchWell, have you ever? A small bookshelf! So, way back in June, my fancy neighbor took me to the unfinished furniture store, which does not mean the store is unfinished, but rather the furniture is.

Hall 

Hey! Is that a small bookshelf? And also an obsessed Winston at Ruby's door? So the reason I never bought said bookshelves is because it would have cost nearly a thousand bucks to do so. But today I got a bug up my rear and I said to Marvin, LET'S GO TO THE STORE! THE UNFURNISHED STORE!

Then I bopped my head.

And do you know? They were GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. I had no idea. We got three 84" shelves for 184 bucks each, which is a savings of 11 million dollars. I am standing here beside myself.

WE'RE SAVING ROOM! EVERYBODY'S SAVING ROOM!

35 thoughts on “Shelf this

  1. I’m so sorry your Ruby is not doing well. Why am I not surprised that Winston and Lula are so interested in the spare bedroom? You know are pets are our fur babies. LOL! Are you sure it was the d.o.g. that threw up on the sofa? It could have been Winston and he lied and said it was Lula.
    Does your designer neighbor have some great ideas on rearranging all of your books? Superman statue, very interesting.

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  2. I’ll tell you what I saw: I saw View Master film-things. I see these everyday at my house but I have three small children. Who is looking at the View Master at your house? Please tell me it is Marvin.

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  3. What a fabulous deal! Congrats. Sorry to hear that Ruby hasn’t been feeling well/better. I hope that having a private suite at Chez Gardensalad makes her feel a ton better. What are the red, blue, yellow, and green ball things on the the top shelf below the pie picture? Because I’m secretly copying our life and I have to get me some. Oh, I guess its not a secret now, is it?

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  4. I’m sorry about your kitty. And the furniture store. Everything is going out of business – it’s starting to freak me out.
    So Pig Latin? Are you a Three Stooges fan? I love those crazy Jews. I used to stay up with my father on New Years Eve and watch the 3 Stooges marathon they’d play on channel 38 (Beantown). 38. Yeah – back when your TV had a knob for UHF or VHF channels – remember that crap?.
    Now I keep visualizing the Love Shack video because you mentioned the B-52s.
    Ooodgay ucklay ithway ouryay ookbay elveshay.

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  5. I also noticed that little superman statue. And I thought MY husband was bad, for still holding on to his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures (which I hid from him so that he wouldn’t put them up somewhere in our house for everyone to see).

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  6. For the longest time I’ve been meaning to ask if you have a favorite book. Please make a list of your top favorites for us!
    Would you consider a starting an on-line book club? (I know you have all this spare time to read.)
    p.s I’ve never tried oak leaf pie but it looks yummy.

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  7. If you send me your eight-track player for Christmas, I’ll be your Best Friend Forever. I have a giant box of eight tracks in my garage, and the idea of never hearing Glen Campbell’s Rhinestone Cowboy with the eight-track track changing gap in the middle is more than I can bear.

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  8. Gentle pats for Ruby. Hope she improves fast.
    Also, do you ever have time to read all those books? I was an English major, too, but my collection of dust exceeds my collection of books.

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  9. I am so sorry about Ruby. I worked for a vet years ago and always got so attached to the elderly kitties. I have forbidden my 10 year old Aria Kitty to age.
    Thank you for telling us that was a picture of a pie. I was wondering what was up with the weird art piece of a condom!

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  10. I’m so embarrassed. I had expanded your picture to peruse your books. Then, you called me out on it. You do have a nice variety of books.
    Hope the kitty is well.

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  11. Congrats on finding a killer sale on said ookselvesbay. *sending a little scratch for behind Ruby’s ears* Love the pix of Winston with his nose stuck under the door as far as he can. Is it possible that sweet, sick little Ruby is enjoying her private suite BECAUSE Winston and Lula are jealous? Peace to the Gardensalad home.
    Q: Are you going to paint, stain, faux, or whatever, on those ‘unfinished’ ookselvesbay? Decisions, decisions, decisions. Carp.

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  12. 8 Track1?! Seriously?!? If you wait, like, 100 years, you may just have an antique on your hands! LOL
    That pie is driving me nutso. I kept trying to figure out why you wanted a smooshed up painting of a dogs face surrounded by leaves. Seriously, if you look at it, I can see one eye, a dog triangle for a nose, and a smiling mouth. I just couldn’t figure out why the ear was covering the other eye and why the ding dang thing was so compressed into a round circle. Impressionist doggie? Then it hit me. OH! Meringue pie! Duh!

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  13. Oh I hope Ruby feels better soon.
    And it’s also sad how many businesses are going out of biz. YIKES! But there are good deals to be had, that’s for sure and certain! 🙂 I’m waiting for them to mark Paige Premium jeans 90% off. Then I will buy 10 pairs of them. I like me the Paige Premiums.

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