Why do I even know the lyrics to Beauty and the Beast? Anyway. I have awarded the prestigious Special of the Week award to Chacha today, who had something pithy to say about KY. Special mention to Ree, who also had a funny Kentucky/KY line. Probably no one from Kentucky will ever read this blog… Continue reading Both a little scared, neither one prepared, comment of the week
Ask June is sleepy, so she did not even select her Ask June questions using the random pickerizer that she usually uses, rather Ask June just picked the first five unanswered questions that popped up. And this is an actual, unretouched photo from this morning. I know you are enjoying how the bedspread matches the… Continue reading Wake June, then Ask Her
I had to go to Target tonight, to refill my prescription for that lovely elixir Topamax, which not only removes my migraines but also makes me look as though I may have rickets. I have now lost FIFTEEN POUNDS taking Topamax. You can imagine how I didn't want to miss a day. "Oh, you're going… Continue reading A Charmin-g Story
and thought of another one to eliminate. 24/7. I beg you. Let's never say it again.
Can we please do away with the following phrases? Comfort zone. Outside of the box. Fashion forward. Push the envelope. Thank you. I do not mean that we can do away with the phrase "thank you." I'd like to keep that one.
So, maybe I sat in the parking lot today and waited until Blood Sugar Sex Magik was done playing before I went into work, which meant I got in at 8:04, but do you think that means it was ENTIRELY my fault that we got a department-wide email today about how important it is that… Continue reading Blood sugar crazy
Thank you all for thinking of me while you were in the shower today. And if you didn't get a chance to do it today, do let me know tomorrow. I particularly liked the woman who gave birth in the shower because she was busy counting for me how long it took her hair to… Continue reading Chaka count let me tell you what I’m gonna do, will you count for me if I count for you.
I need to know this crucial information. When you are in the shower, will you please count how long it takes your hair to get completely wet? Report back to me right here. Thank you. Do it like this: one one thousand (slight pause), two one thousand, (slight pause), etc. It takes me eight one thousands.… Continue reading Chaka count
My friend Amy from what I want to call "back home" but what I really need to call "Los Angeles" Photoshopped the Aretha hat on my head in yesterday's post. Here, don't get up. Somehow, that picture got me thinking about how I will do pretty much anything in a photo for a laugh. You… Continue reading Oranges and Lemons
As much as I get a kick out of my own self, it's that time of the week to get a kick out of my commenters. This week's award goes to Gladys and...Gladys, who tied with herself. Also, J was funny, as per usual. So go over to the right-hand column to Special of the… Continue reading R-E-S-P-E-C-T the comment of the week
In my hometown, they opened the first multiplex cinema in the 1970s. It had four theaters, so they named it The Quad. I remember my father and mother and me driving out there before it opened, because my father had to photograph it for work. At the time, driving to The Quad was kind of… Continue reading Ask June, Quad Eight
...and having watched reality TV for five hours straight yesterday, let me ask you this. When women cry on those TV shows, why do they dab their eyes with the Kleenex and then look at the Kleenex? Yes, of COURSE your makeup is running. What to they EXPECT to see there, beaver droppings? I do not… Continue reading Oh…
I'm sick AGAIN. I think this is the fourth time I have been sick since Marvin started his school year, and I do blame all those Typhoid Mary children for bringing me all those germs, and also the fact that I don't have a spleen, which apparently makes you susceptible to colds and such and… Continue reading Illin’
I got put on the Social Planning Committee at work. This means I help plan the throw-downs, the bashes, that we have quarterly, where we celebrate whoever had a birthday and we get a little report about the company. I have been to three of these so far, and they are seriously lacking in liquor… Continue reading Fwd: Fwd: Fwd This is so cute!
It snowed in Greensboro last night, which sent everybody into a panic. All schools were closed so Marvin got a day off, and I didn't even have to go in until mid-morning. So we played. I know those of you with real weather are laughing at our panic-inducing accumulation. This is April in Michigan! Not… Continue reading Snow day
I am just quickly writing you in the middle of house cleaning. I have the day off for Martin Luther King day. What is too bad is that Martin Luther King isn't alive to tell us what he thinks about tomorrow. Anyway, here is the following crucial news I have for you. First of all, as… Continue reading I have a dream that my house is tidy
Shhh. Don't tell Marvin. I had to use his deodorant today. Marvin gets really skeeved out when I use his deodorant, which in the grand scheme of being married 10 and a half years is kind of weird, if you think about it. I mean, it's just, Hey, Marvin, you know that stick of chemicals… Continue reading Cherry for the pits
First of all, we have us a new comment of the week, which of course on this blog is called Special of the Week, because I have to be annoying and make everything about pie. And I know I am late in the day announcing it, but you knew I wouldn't DESSERT you. Get it?… Continue reading Hey, aqua dress
Really, I've been bristling with excitement to get to Ask June. Let's whisk ourselves off to the first question. Nosey...Picker? asks, "What is the single grossest thing you have ever done?" Nosey, I have been thinking about this one since you asked, and you were one of the first people to Ask June, I just… Continue reading Inquire of June
Today is Friday, in case you have been in bed all week with the curtains drawn, so that means we are due for another Ask June, which I will do tonight when I get home. I just wanted to let you know so you could wake the kids and get your video cameras ready. If… Continue reading Prelude to Ask June