Oranges and Lemons

My friend Amy from what I want to call "back home" but what I really need to call "Los Angeles" Photoshopped the Aretha hat on my head in yesterday's post. Here, don't get up.


Somehow, that picture got me thinking about how I will do pretty much anything in a photo for a laugh. You have no idea how many brides have called me after their wedding. "We got the proofs back. I can't believe you…did that! Heh!"

Keep in mind I was usually not drunk at these weddings.

I'll hang the asparagus off my teeth like tusks. I'll balance the spoon on my nose. I'll put cherry tomatoes in my eyeballs. I'm sure all of this is making my friend Sandy all the more delighted that I made her guest list next month.

Anyway, I started perusing old photos on this here computer and found all sorts of cool photos I didn't know I had, so I'll throw them in as I talk about whatever unrelated topic I am going to talk about.


Emily from Chatting at the Sky told me that some bloggers prepare their posts weeks in advance, which I could never do because I just plop down here and commence to typing. Do you know what I hate? I hate the word "preplan." To "plan" is to prepare ahead of time, so why do we need a word that means to plan to plan?


Anyway, I did want to tell you the best possible news. Now this I did "preplan" to tell you. Yesterday we were driving to the movies and I saw they opened an Anthropologie here! Oh! Anthropologie is my best best best store.

If you opened my soul and looked at my taste in clothing, there would be Anthropologie. Is it sad that inside my soul is my taste in clothing? Shouldn't there maybe be something deeper in there? Also, I cannot afford Anthopologie, but I am hoping they have sales. Plus also incidentally too, I am thinking that Mr. Anthopologie is PRETTY HAPPY that he chose right now to open a new store, what with the chipper economy and all.

This is our back porch on what I again want to call back home and need to start calling Los Angeles. And I'm sorry but look how pudgy! I was about to go on my nightly walk, but where was I walking, Baskin-Robbins? We did live near a Baskin-Robbins, actually. And a Dunkin Donuts. It shows! Dang.

For those of you who actually read Bye Bye Buy, to my left, hanging up at the top was the bucket where the bird nest was.


Why am I pouting? And who was a baby puppy? Aw.

So, the movie we saw yesterday was Revolutionary Road with Kate Winslett, who spent the entire movie being really sad that she lived in an absolutely beautiful house. I know that this means I am not deep, but really, through the whole movie I was all, But your house is so PRETTY! Why can't you APPRECIATE it? Look at your nice dining room and all this cool '50s furniture!?



My other news is that my father and I are going to road trip to New Orleans later this year.

My father lived in Los Angeles pretty much the entire time we did, and he left pretty much when we did. He and I went on some great road trips during that time, including the part where I dragged him from Wisconsin to Colorado and made him take the entire Laura Ingalls Wilder tour (he kept looking for nearby bars) (and by the way, in South Dakota, the tour guide let me take over, because I knew more than she did). He and I also went on the Mike the Headless Chicken road trip, which is a post onto itself.


A photo of TinyTown.

One of my biggest regrets in life was, one night in college, my roommate burst into the room and said to us, "If we get in the car right now, we can get to New Orleans by Mardi Gras. Let's go." Everyone got in the car and did it, except me, because I had a QUIZ. A QUIZ, folks. I got on A on the quiz. They got 800,000 beads and a lifetime of foggy memories.

Now, my father and I are NOT going at Mardi Gras time, because I don't think it'd be fun for us anymore, but I have always wanted to see New Orleans.


Our neighbors back in LA used to tell us we could pick whatever we wanted because they had so much fruit. So if we needed a lime, lemon or orange, we just went in the yard and picked. It was kind of nice.

Those 1950 brick walls were what everyone had. What did people do before 1950? Did they just not have fences? I guess not. The reason there is that little wrought iron fence, there, is because in our back back yard was a teeny house that an actor rented. Of course. Everywhere we lived an actor rented a teeny house in back. This particular actor at this particular house was nice and actually normal. Sometimes we see him in pizza commercials, or commercials for pharmaceuticals or something.

Orange you glad I told you that?

29 thoughts on “Oranges and Lemons

  1. I’m hanging out for Revolutionary Road. I wish I could morph back to the fifties. Oh to wear pretty dresses all day.
    I am feeling itchy for a road trip now. It’s really nice that you road trip with your Dad.


  2. OK I haven’t even seen Revolutionary Road, but I agree with you. That’s all I could think when I saw the previews. That and the face that I am pretty much living the life she is hating in the movie. So that makes me not want to see it. How depressing!


  3. I have a question. Yes, I know, it’s not Ask June Friday, but I just have to know. Do you babble like this in real life? Or do you save these lovely ramblings just for us, your ever-faithful readers?
    The Man and I are going to New Orleans the weekend of February 28th. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you. I’ll go June-spotting. 🙂


  4. Oh, I love New Orleans! Lots to see and do and eat without having to get plastered. Ride the streetcar down to the Garden District and just look at the loverly homes. Yes, I said “loverly”, I think I am Eliza Doolittle.


  5. Burfica- drunk people are funny that way… friends with everyone.
    Point in case: my 20 year old self was strolling through the French Quarter and a bunch of gay guys were standing outside a bar (it was like 10 in the morning) and asked me to come in and strip for them. Did I mention it was 10 in the morning? Did I mention it was August (muggy as you know what)? Did I mention I had a sinus infection from HE|| and was running a 102 fever? Did I mention I was wearing overalls? I mean seriously… there was NOTHING pretty about myself that day.


  6. Anthropologie Soul Sister, have you gone yet? I was going to go yesterday, since you said it was open, but I wasn’t looking cool enough to shop (window shop) there at that time.
    When you read books or whatever, do you have a definate picture/layout of the house the character lives in? Or can picture the office where the character works? I have always pictured you working in the Friendly Center Office Building on Green Valley. Even though there are no geese or kittens near there at all.


  7. I went to New Orleans with my sister once. And I can tell you it was the Friendliest place I have ever been. The people there were so darn friendly.


  8. We also have a tiny house in our backyard, but we call it a shed. And I refuse to open the door, because I do NOT want to know what is living in there.


  9. I’m not believing that June, with her super-fabulous, Nicholas Cage witnessing, LA living, VW Bug owning, Nester & Emily knowing life has not been to New Orleans.
    Or maybe what’s more unbelievable is that I in my never leaving this area code, simple little life HAVE been to New Orleans… several times.
    But, then again, I did have to pre-plan the trips.


  10. I lived about two hours from New Orleans and saw it … once. Well, twice. (I’m no drinker, so it wasn’t my kinda town.) I highly HIGHLY recommend the graveyard tour, but you’ve probably heard that. And beignets at Cafe Du Monde with hot chocolate are a must-do. And AND, (and this is probably my only suggestion that not everyone who’s breezed through can give) go to a little place called Cafe Degas. Sweet mother of gorgeous food. It’s not in the French Quarter, and it doesn’t look impressive from the outside, but impress it will. I dream about that place.


  11. How sad is it that I actually can use preplan, because I really do plan to plan. If I’m travelling somewhere I’ll sit down and make a list of the information I’ll need in order to plan our trip. What OCD?


  12. I still think that is one big ass bow for wearing on the forhead like that, but you’re makin’ it work for ya.I would love*love to road trip to New Orleans this spring,if I can get someone to got with me.
    BTW thats a great patio set in the background.gorgous


  13. I would like to hear more about Mike The Headless Chicken Road Trip, if you can spare the time.
    When I was in high school, (YES, HIGH SCHOOL! HELLO, GREAT PARENTING!) at the ripe old age of 17, my girlfriend called and wanted to know if I wanted to drive to Boston with her and her friend. Sure! “Mom can I go to Boston and miss a bunch of school???” So of course I went and I’m not sure how I didn’t get arrested for all sorts of debauchery. And did the car break down somewhere in the middle of New Jersey when we were on our way home? Did we have enough cash to cover the expenses? How I lived to tell the tale I’m still not sure.


  14. Preplan is like irregardless, which is just wrong, but oddly, spell check has flagged preplan as misspelled but not irregardless.


  15. I went to Mardi Gras and had a great time. I couldn’t flash the girls, though. It is my mother’s fault. Really. Right before we left, she told me if anyone asked to see some skin to do this. Then she held up the palm of her hand. Hilarious and enough guilt to keep my shirt down!


  16. Was the actor who lived in your back yard the one who says. “I’m not really a doctor, I only play one on T.V.” Yeah that is who I would want to live in my guest house or perhaps the lady from the pepto bismal commercial. Oh no I know who…Billy Mays and his incredible products or maybe that Vince guy who would walk around with his microphone attached to his head. What is that guy? A cyborg?


  17. You and your paw should totally do your road trip at Mardi Gras. Because? I am going to New Orleans for Mardi Gras this year. New Orleans is my real live actual “back home.”


  18. I really liked the book Revolutionary Road. I spent the whole time wondering how in the world they were going to make a movie out of it.
    As for blogging. I rifle through old pictures on my computer and make a post out of them. Nothing is preplanned. Or planplanned.


  19. Love the photos. Yes, Sally, you have now been pre-warned to assign someone to June duty…to keep her out of photos you might want to hang on the wall, or, like, show someone. But, please, please, share with us the ones of her with celery tusks, squishy red eyeballs, or other precious June-isms.


  20. We were watching the DVR’d inauguration last night and I totally realized why you had that bow on your head. My husband didn’t get why I was cracking up.
    I love Anthropologie, but beyond the cost issue (which is a major issue, seeing as everything is way overpriced), I have a height issue. They don’t carry much stuff for shorties.


  21. “…commence to…”? Really?
    The year I lived in Rhode Island, my evening walk took me past a Dunkin’ Donuts – every single time. That store just would not go away.
    The year I lived in California (gosh, I am such a nomad), I marveled at how everyone had a teeny tiny guesthouse on their teeny tiny plots of land, and there was always someone living in it(them).


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