Ask June is sleepy, so she did not even select her Ask June questions using the random pickerizer that she usually uses, rather Ask June just picked the first five unanswered questions that popped up.
And this is an actual, unretouched photo from this morning. I know you are enjoying how the bedspread matches the sheets, and how the carpet matches the drapes. And I'm sure Tallulah is pleased that you are all seeing her morning ears.
Arlene queries, What is your favorite way to fix that all-American favorite, rutabaga?
When I was little, my mother used to clean my ears with Q-Tips, and this is the second time this week I have mentioned Q-Tips. I would lie on her lap, and I guess to keep me from panicking, she would pretend that she was digging in a vegetable garden. "I see carrots in there!" she would exclaim. "There's a radish!" For some reason, whenever she found a rutabaga I would fall into peals of hysterical laughter, which I also did any time someone said "Spiro Agnew" or "hips."
You're not really supposed to clean your ears with Q-Tips, did you know that? They told me that at the ear doctor last year.
But, now, Arlene, have you met me? First of all, when is the last time I described eating a vegetable? So far today I have had a strawberry Pop-Tart, a chili cheese Frito wrap from Sonic, and a mocha latte. Does the Frito count as a vegetable? I wouldn't recognize a rutabaga if it came out my ear.
Jan asks, What peculiar sayings do you have, where you purposely say something wrong or use wrong words (besides Kermis)?
For those of you just tuning in, and if you did, why? Save yourselves! Turn back! I do say "Kermis" because that's how I misspelled "Christmas" when I was a kid. I also say "What doing?" because my friend's kid used to say it and I am certain she is totally over it by now but I'm not. Really, it's all you need to say. What doing? You don't need all the other pesky words in there.
I have mentioned before that I say "big-bone-ded" because in my family we made fun of someone who said "big boned" wrong and now I have done it for so many years that I can't say it right, and I also say, "Peoples is funny, Jim" because someone once said that to my Uncle Jim and we similarly made fun of that person.
Really, if you are not related to us, we spend a lot of time mocking you once you leave.
Jan also asks, Why Delilah? No, really…Why Delilah don't you live closer to me so we could be buddies?
One time, Jan and her sister were at Panera and the guy at the counter shouted out, "June!" and they both craned their necks looking for me, even though I (a) don't live in their state and (b) am not really named June.
I do feel like I would be friends in real life with so many of you. I feel like I am friends in blog life with so many of you. Sometimes you guys are the brightest spot in my otherwise miserable day. Blogging. It's the quilting bee of the 2000s.
Frost & Oddrey says, A vegetarian? I guess going out for a burger next time you're in town is out of the question.
Frost & Oddrey is an old friend of mine from high school, and the last person I ever threw up with. The year was 1982, the place was the side of his car, the substance was pink Andre champagne.
And Frost & Oddrey, also known as Kim, I am a bad vegetarian. I try. But please see my diet from today, wherein I ate the chili cheese Frito wrap from Sonic. It is Sonic and its siren song of chili cheese that does me in every time. Hate self. Hate chili-cheese-ridden self.
Erin D. inquires, What do you want for Christmas?
Okay, giggling that I didn't pick this question until now. And didn't I already kind of have this question? Nevertheless, I did once make Marvin an "I'll always like the following" kind of perpetual Christmas list so that he'd never be stuck wondering what I'd like. It had things on it like really good stationery (you know, like from Crane. With my initial on it or something. Is it sad that "from Crane" is as high as I shoot?), a Kate Spade bag, a Burberry anything, real perfume (which would now no longer apply, as I am allergic to everything and besides, I own Joy now so what more could I ask for?) and things like that.
Do you think Marvin has ever gotten me one thing from that list? Do you think he probably used that list to pick up after Tallulah on one of her walks? So do I.
That said, I usually do not care that much what I get for Christmas. People think I am way into gifts and I'm not. I mean, if I get something I like, it's exciting, but if I get something I don't like, I still appreciate the gesture. Plus, if it's pink and it sparkles? I will like it.
Thank you for joining me for another chilling week of Ask June.