Amblin and Ramblin

Daffodils     

In a photo that has nothing to do with this post, look! My daffodils are coming up! And what a blurry photo! I laid on the ground to capture how they match my car, and then spent the rest of the day having an allergic reaction to whatever I laid in.

I am typing this Monday night, late, and I am setting it up to post Tuesday morning. I have officially become one of those people who post in advance now. Although again, some people post WEEKS in advance, to which I reply, "?"

How can you post about what's happening in your life weeks in advance? I guess these particular bloggers are posting about something else. I do not know what. Perhaps they are the types who have particular, I don't know, TOPICS and such.

Anyway, tonight I went to see Frost/Nixon, which means I have now seen every movie nominated for best picture. In case you didn't know, Frost/Nixon is about a time that former President Nixon was really cold.

Honestly, how do you stand the humor?

So, it was good, but I'd like to address the people of Greensboro now.

People of Greensboro, there is this thing called THE TIME THE MOVIE BEGINS. If the paper or your computer tells you the movie begins at 7:15, this means you are to be in your theater seat at — GUESS WHEN? — 7:15. It does not mean that you are to meander in at 7:25, with your giant Coke and your tub o' popcorn, speaking loudly to your companion about where to sit as you stand in front of the screen looking over the seat selection.

It also does not mean that you are to loudly whisper about what is happening onscreen as you use the seat in front of you as a footrest.

Crab 

In yet another completely unrelated photo, here is Tallulah's new crab. She has had it four days and already it is filthy. Dogs are disgusting human beings.

Seriously, every movie I have been to in Greensboro, I have run into this problem, and I honestly think it is regional.  I get to the movie, and I am the only person in the theater when the movie starts, and for the next 20 minutes I am assaulted by popcorn people.

And I do not want to hear about the sitting through the Coke commercials, mom. There are no Coke commercials at either of the theaters I go to here. And some of us consider the previews PART OF THE MOVIEGOING EXPERIENCE, and would rather not be INTERRUPTED DURING THEM!

Can you tell this is sticking in my craw? Apparently my new prescription Vitamin D is not helping with my crankiness yet. I will not even touch on how TV newscasters here pronounce it "Dinver" instead of "Denver."

It's just so SURPRISING, as the Southerners are otherwise so polite. This is the one way they have been inconsiderate. I don't get it.

Film 

The other day I came home and Marvin and his friend Ron were in the backyard filming themselves playing guitar. I really have to paint that chair. How do you paint aluminum chairs?

If any Southerner has a theory on this, please let me know. Not why Marvin would film himself. That is between Marvin and the universe. None of us down here can figure that one out.

48 thoughts on “Amblin and Ramblin

  1. I’m a southerner since age 5, raised by Michigan people. We went to see Coraline on Saturday. The movie was to start at 3:00. It was 2:33 and I was panicking that it was too late to go and maybe we should go to the next showtime. My husband (a true southerner) thought I was crazy. But we did make it in time to get some candy, and I got my FAVORITE seats that I must sit in. At the Carousel (my fav GSO theater), halfway down, with the metal rails in front. If I can’t get those seats, I really don’t want to go. And lots of people kept coming in, maybe 5 minutes into the movie, talking loudly about where they should sit.
    Do you have a seat you must sit in?

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  2. I HATE rude people at movie theaters. Don’t you wish you had a special lazer gun that would make them evaporate? I remember spending 2 months in NC, everyone made the word “Norfolk” sound like a bad word. I also remember many doobies in NC but, that was like 30 years ago.
    I use to go see all of the nominated films before the Oscars. The last time i went was the year The Departed won. I read that many AMC theaters are showing all 5 films on the day and night before the Oscars for 30 bucks. Then i would have to miss the always interesting Independant Spirit Awards. God did not bless me with a backside designed for sitting through 5 films, my buns would lapse into a coma.

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  3. Your complaint about the people coming in late happened to us a couple of weeks ago in Michigan. Rude people walked around and talked loudly with their giant tubs of popcorn and gallons of Mountain Dew while the trailers were showing. About 15 minutes into the movie a man walked in and said, “HEY… IS THIS MARLEY AND ME?” Um…. hello Einstein do you see the puppy galloping around on the screen? Then he said, “I’M LOOKING FOR MY GIRLFRIEND.” His girlfriend waved to him and then he sat down… loudly and they continued to whisper through the entire film. I was very annoyed.

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  4. Spray paint, baby! You can paint anything with spray paint. Krylon or Rustoleum would be best for that metal chair, which I love, by the way. Marvin and friend videotaping themselves…how cute! In a geeky-kinda way, of course. As for the movie stuff, I hate that too – dang rude people!

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  5. It’s easy to re-do your chair, but a little tedious. Wash it first, then use a rust remover for the orange parts, wash it again to get the rust stuff off. Then prime it (Rustoleum or Krylon), then spray paint the life out of it. Spray paint works better than a brush.
    I tried to make this funny and all, but I haven’t had enough coffee to be witty.

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  6. Is Marvin auditioning for the next freecreditreport.com commercial? Does he have a jingle? Surely one of your witty readers could make up something extra catchy for him. Maybe to the tune of the Brady Bunch or Beverly Hillbillies.

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  7. Why are all your readers suddenly from Michigan? I mean, I know there’s not much to do in Detroit these days besides go to the movies or read blogs, but it just struck me as odd that half your comments are from Michiganders. And I don’t think the movie rudeness is regional. People are just stupid. OK, I need coffee.

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  8. Is “dinver” not the way you say Denver? asked the southern gal.
    Here’s a little tip to help you fit in with real authentic southerners—-call your daffodils “buttercups.” Then the southerners will love you and you can confront them about their movie tardiness over a glass of tea.

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  9. Your daffodils are beautiful and I am very envious as it is still well below freezing here and a snowstorm is expected tomorrow. The South seems pretty appealing right now even with rude movie goers.

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  10. I think you need to broaden your address from “People of Greensboro” to “People of Earth.” But then, I’ve only been to the movies in New York, and many people think NYers are inherently rude. NYers aren’t rude, we’re just always in a hurry and so use an economy of language. (Unless you’re from New Jersey. Then we *are* being deliberately rude to you because you started it. Heh.)
    But yeah, The Popcorn and Jujube Trek of Doom to find a seat: Plan ahead, People. Geeez.
    I envy your daffodils/buttercups because it is 28 degrees here and the word “snow” was mentioned as a possibility three times in the seven-day forecast this morning.
    Anyway, since I am clearing jazzed up on something this morning, I’ll continue rambling and confess that I have never seen all of the movies nominated before the awards shows, ever. This does not mean I don’t have Very Firm Opinions of who should and should not take home a prize but it rarely has anything to do with their actual acting chops.
    I think I’ll go and channel this energy into my JOB now. Byeeeeeeeee.

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  11. This is why I NEVER go to movies. I haven’t been to one since the last Harry Potter. The minute I sit down, my neck starts to tense up just waiting for big popcorn guy. Why pay $10 to have your movie ruined? They come out so quickly on DVD.

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  12. I hate rude people in movie shows. I like to get there on time, get my snacks, watch the previews and when the show is over I want to sit there and watch the credits. I haven’t been to actual movie show in two (?) years. Netflicks is your friend.
    Can daffodils grow in Baton Rouge?

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  13. Philadelphia seems to suffer not from people coming in late, but talking through the entire movie. My boyfriend and I have had to ask people to quiet down several times. Last week, I asked who couple who !walked in to the movie two hours late! to quiet down and they told me that I was free to move. A couple of months ago, my boyfriend asked these girls to stop talking, and they responded with “We’re having a very important conversation.” I wish I was making this up.

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  14. Since I’m always the late personat the movie, I have nothing to contribute, but I try to stay as inconspicuous as possible because why would I want to draw attention to my being late and potentially disruptive? No siree.
    Spray paint that chair with Rustoleum. You might want to sand some of the rust and use their primer, but I think some of their spray paints don’t require primer and still stop rust. Hence RUSToleum. It’s at Home Depot. Don’t go to Lowe’s they have a whopping five color options for Rustoleum while HD has a whole wall. At least that’s how it is here.

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  15. Movie rudeness is not just in G’boro, it’s everywhere. I get so angry that it almost spoils the whole experience, which is why I go rarely, and when I do, the movie is in it’s final few days. Charlotte is the worst place to see a movie IMO.

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  16. You lived in LA too long, where movie going is an art and everyone actually WATCHES the movie and the credits (because they may actually know the people who made the film).
    I usually have to tell my husband to STOP TALKING during the film. He forgets that we are not sitting in our living room or that I actually don’t want to listen to him since I just spent a small fortune to SEE THE FRICKING FILM!!!
    Okay, I’ll calm down now and go to work.

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  17. My guess is that since we are closer to Mexico, we have been influenced by their laissez faire attitude towards time. Although a liassez faire attitude is french, so maybe that isn’t the best way to describe it.
    My hispanic coworker tells me that in spanish it is referred to as asi es (that’s just the way it is).
    That’s my theory. That’s just the way it is. Some things will never change.

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  18. Hello?!?! The previews ARE PART OF THE MOVIE!! If we are running late and we are going to miss the previews then we go to a later show. It’s like walking into the actual movie late. How can you miss the previews?
    The front row in the middle of the theater with the bars in front of you are the PERFECT seats. I love them.
    Marvin looks quite amused with himself.
    Spray paint baby, works every time. (Everytime.)

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  19. Perhaps Marvin was filming his E-harmony video.
    I just read that Greensboro was the fourth most empty city in the US. It was based on commercial and home vacancies. It seems if you just be patient, you’ll have that theatre all to yourself.

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  20. Love the picture of Lulah and her crab. It was like a nice little bubble of happiness to break up the rant about rude people at the movie. Don’t get me wrong, I too hate rude people at the movie and have been known to rant about them. I just also enjoy the bubble of happiness!

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  21. I am from the south and lived there most of my life. I NEVER experienced the movie interuption thing until I moved to Loozeranna. People would actually TALK back to the screen. They would yell things at the actors, as if the actors could hear them. It was unreal.
    The solution? To the chair or to the movie interlopers?
    The chair brush it down with a steel brush then Krylon that baby.
    The Movie Raiders? A spray bottle with water and everytime they talk or move squirt them? Or maybe take a steel brush and then Krylon…

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  22. Talking during the movies is one of my biggest pet peeves. We saw Revolutionary Road last weekend, and the man next to me kept a running commentary going during the entire film. I sat there seething. Of course I already had your words running through my head through the whole movie too. “why is she so sad when she lives in such a beautiful house?” Haha!

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  23. Hey, flax seed oil works great for crankiness. Not that I have any personal experience or anything. And I totally knew you had a Bug or a Beetle or whatever. Sorry you had to endure such torture for your art, I am allergic to everything from grass to fake cinnamon so I feel your pain.

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  24. June,
    You ain’t seen nothing till you go to a movie in Argentina! You know about the audiences at the Apollo in Harlem? Well, they must have taken Clif Notes on how they do it in Argentina. Too funny! It’s best to sit in back so you can watch the whole crowd as well as the movie.
    In regards to your chair: what color are you thinking? For some reason when I saw it I thought how cute it would be if you put some big flowers on it like a 1960’s VW van. Maybe some daffodillies, too?

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  25. I’m totally with you on the rude movie goers. The last movie I went to had two couples sitting near me and one of the wives repeated everything said on the screen and asked questions throughout. Don’t they realize how annoying that is?
    My best solution is to go during odd hours where there’s less people.
    Wouldn’t it be great if when someone talked repeatedly they turned on the lights and stopped the movie? Ya know, just to expose them and hope it doesn’t happen again?

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  26. we have almost that exact same chair…only we have a set of them..one is a rocker, the other is just a chair. We took both of them to a body shop and had them sand blasted..it cost about $50 for the two of them to be done…when we got them back, we spray painted them with gray rustoleum primer. Then we painted them with a bright red spray paint. Tonight when I get home, I’ll try to find the pictures I took of before and after…

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  27. I heard this quote once: “Sick people don’t go to the doctor. They go to the movies.” This I know to be true. It’s what I always dread when going to a movie. Hearing someone cough and clear their throat for 90 minutes makes me so uncomfortable, and drives me bonkers!
    I know they’re not being intentionally rude, but still.

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  28. I came for the pie but stayed for the humor. Seriously, the “time he was cold.” You kill me.
    Reminds me of the cartoon where the grandkid has to hang out with his ancient Grandpa and, after a few minutes of silence says, “Grandpa, tell me again about the time it was cold!” LOVE IT.

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  29. June-
    I have the same chair and am a huge fan of Krylon, however that spray paint only seems to last about a year and it starts to peel.
    Two years ago I used a metal paint from a regular paint can and a brush. It still looks great. I think it’s because it goes on thicker with a brush.
    Being a Michigan girl living in Denver I would like to comment on YOUR comment about how southern folks say Dinver/Denver. Annoying yes, but people living here cannot figure out if they should say Coloradans or Coloradoans. What sayeth you?
    Rock on Marvin.

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  30. Hey, at least your movie people might have stopped talking. Here, they just continue having big conversatinos with each other and who knows who on their cell phones.
    Rustoleum for the chair, after you steel wool the crud off. You’ll have to do it every few years, though (not the steel wool part…that’s only if it’s been twenty or fifty years).
    Love the crab. I can see why Tallulah jumped up and asked you to buy it for her.

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  31. Maybe Marvin has viewed all possible music documentaries and must make his own?
    But be honest, would you rather watch another Who documentary or a completely new Marvin, Ron and the rusty aluminum chair documentary?
    Leave it rusty and call it shabby chic. Rust is a color too.

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  32. Greensboro resident and frequent moviegoer here. Years ago, the late-and-loud phenomenon seemed to be a socio-economic difference in perception of what was acceptable (or a not too subtle expression of disregard for it), but in the 21st century, I wonder if it is generational or technological, rather than regional (since others seem to be in the same tub of popcorn as we are). I’d call it the “cell phone effect” or maybe, “the bubble of obscene self-absorbtion.”
    People seem to have no reservations about sharing the intimate details of their (or someone else’s) personal lives, speaking loudly into empty space at the grocery store or any other public place. It’s no longer improper, apparently, to ignore one or a hundred other people in the same room.
    Then there’s the fact that generally speaking, 50% of all the people around you are below average.
    Good luck with the Comment of the Week, June. Your readers are all well above average, especially in the hilarious fun department.

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  33. Paint that chair with spray paint. I paint everything with spray paint, it becomes a bit of an obsession (‘what can I paint now’. Get it, can, ha ha like a can of spray paint… pun intended.) Anyway, they even make an outdoor rustproof kind now. I get compliments on my 20 year old hand me down patio furniture (OK, maybe I just got one compliment.) Spray paint gives new life! You might want to sand it down a little first.

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  34. Here in Dinver, the moviegoers are just as obnoxious—hence the reason I never EVER go to a movie theater (theee-A-ter)anymore. I once sat behind a guy who was fighting with his girlfriend, with whom he was yelling at on his cell phone. She wasn’t even at the theater. I have enough rage without having to deal with the popcorn guy at the movies.

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  35. Sometime in the 80’s I attended a movie with my then-college aged son. Before the main attraction started, they ran a film showing a group of cowboys sitting around a campfire. Suddenly, one of the cowboys turned around and looked straight at the camera. In a voice that could be heard in the lobby he said, “You there! Would you just shut up? There’s folks here who want to hear the movie! Don’t you know it’s rude to talk through it?” The film faded to black as he turned back to the fire and the main feature started.
    The last film I saw in a theater had Sean Connery going to a library or something. All I can remember is that it was a long time ago.

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  36. Sorry Bell, those aren’t buttercups. Buttercups are much tinier. My mother would call those jonquils.
    Here in Ohio we say “Dinver” too but then again, maybe that’s just me. I say pen and pin the same way. I just don’t hear the difference. I always read your blog out loud to my husband every night and when I got to “Dinver” I stopped and couldn’t think of how to say it. And yet I never swap sex for six. That would be embarrasing.
    By the way, Mr. Steady feels let down. He was expecting a post about CCR with a title like Amblin and Ramblin. I have no idea what that means, just passing on the message.
    Coveting your yellow flowers, by the way…whatever they are called.

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  37. Ok, I admit, I’m the asshole who comes in 5 to 10 minutes late… because I’m 5 to 10 minutes late for EVERYTHING, not (only) because I want to annoy humankind. The latter is just the icing on the cake. 🙂
    Although… I am a quiet moviewatcher, and I will choose an aisle seat to avoid climbing over people. And I never buy popcorn, I sneak in my snacks in my bag… tee hee hee

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  38. I rarely go to movies at the theater any more. If it isn’t my fellow patrons being rude or noisy, it’s technical issues with the sound or video, and frankly, it’s just frustrating, and too expensive. Thank you Netflix!

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  39. What you need to say to these people is “Bless your heart!” in a very sweet voice. They’ll understand. As a foreigner, I never could figure out why my mother in law kept saying that when I’d do something to piss her off. LOL! Now I know….

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  40. I’m envious that you have seen all of the Oscar movies. That was my goal, but I only saw two. And then one of those two? Someone told me today isn’t even nominated. WTF?
    PS: Marvin is filming himself because he is a rock star. Duh.

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  41. When I went to see Australia .. which by the way I thoroughly enjoyed :o) .. a couple came in to see the film with .. wait for it .. twin 3 month old babies. Now those babies fussed and cried for all but about 1 hour of the movie .. and do you think the parents took the offending baby outside to calm it down .. oooohhh nnnnoooooooo .. they didn’t want to miss any of the movie. They were lucky they were lynched. imagine the headlines. :o)

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  42. I am a southerner, born and raised right here in Georgia, but I’ve never really experienced the tardiness at the movie.
    As for the chair, sand all that rust off the chair then spray it with Rustoleum.

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