I hate you, you hate me, we’re a crappy family. (I let Marvin name this one)

Marvin and I are in a big fight.

I usually don't exploit our big fights for blog material, but then again we don't fight a lot.

Don't you just get annoyed when people say about their other person, "Oh, we never fight!" I do not believe that to be true, first of all, and why do people feel the need to appear perfect to the world? And if  it IS true, you are repressing a lot of crap, there, honey. That's all I gotta say about that.

Anyway, we are getting 3 trillion seven hundred ninety eight billion dollars back from our taxes this year, which is refreshing, as we usually owe tons of money. This is the only good part about being poor now and also owning a home for the first time.

Since we left LA and Marvin became a teacher, we make a lot less. Ironically, since we left LA and Marvin became a teacher, we were finally able to afford a house. I know that makes no sense, unless you have ever looked at housing prices in LA. Our modest little house would go for about $800,000 in LA. At least it would have when we left. According to my friends back there, everyone is now basically standing in bread lines and it is dramatically different in the past year and a half, so maybe my modest little house would be worth a mere $600,000 now.

What we're fighting not-at-all-fairly about is what to do with the money. Neither of us want to buy anything fun, but I will stop there with the details. Both of us want to do something practical with and dull with it. I'll just say that.

And Tee, he won't take the Dave Ramsey class, I already suggested it!

Why is money such an emotional issue? Geez, Louise.

And in other news, I have not finished my 49 pages of electrophoresis, but I am proud of Frankie who Can't Relax for knowing what it is. Look at the big brain on Brad. Doesn't Frankie who Can't Relax have a PhD in science or something? Can anyone tell me how it is that someone could slog through an entire doctorate program in SCIENCE?

Anyway, I did about 30 pages and I stayed late and I just couldn't get it all done. And this had nothing to do with Paula from New York Dammit and me trying to find out the exact words Bugs Bunny used when he told off that cannibal that time. Do you remember that? He just kind of pretended he knew the cannibal's language and it made him really angry? But it's not the cartoon where the men turn into hot dogs.

Yeah. My inability to get my pages done had nothing to do with trying to look that up or anything.

Do you think this is why I only have a bachelor's degree? My fine attention span?

Hey, maybe Marvin will let me put all the details of our argument on this blog, and we can have a vote on what to spend the money on. Do you think that'd be productive and healthy? I could put one of those little polls on here where you click yes or no and it shows you the results, like they have on People.com, where you vote whether someone's outfit rocked it or not. "Does Marvin's spending plan rock it or suck it?"

48 thoughts on “I hate you, you hate me, we’re a crappy family. (I let Marvin name this one)

  1. Tell Marvin I’m extremely disappointed that he’s not willing to give the Dave Ramsey course a try, because his program does work. Get “Total Money Makeover” and read it. I found the book at Sam’s Club, read it in two days, (you will probably read it in 2 hours). Check to see if the library has it, that would be the cheap way out. It was the BEST book on finances I had ever read, and believe me I’ve read them all!!! Money issues are very emotional, putting so much pressure on relationships. It’s the number one cause of divorce–money problems. Since both of you want to do practical things with all that money you are getting back, maybe you can save half of it and pay off some debt with the other half.
    If you are getting back a lot of money you need to adjust your deductions, because I’m almost positive you can use that extra money each month and I KNOW you are a better manager of your money than the government!!! I changed my deductions today. Our goal is not to get a refund and not to have to pay any extra. It’s a juggling act, but it can be done.
    Dave Ramsey is teaching from life experiences. He has come back from losing every thing, except his wife and children. His teaching style is fast paced and very entertaining. It’s not an easy class, but it is soooo worth it! I’ve been listening to Clark Howard for years, many years and he’s good, but his information is not always as practical as Dave Ramsey’s. Ramsey’s program does work for people/families that have irregular income. It’s a great program.
    Can you tell hubby and I are facilitators for Financial Peace University? LOL! There is nothing like being debt free.
    The borrower is slave to the lender. You have to ask yourself, do you want to continue to be a slave to all that debt?

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  2. Personally, I am all for spending the money on airfare for all your fathful readers to come join you for a fun filled weekend in NC. Then you and Marvin can fight in front of us.

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  3. Clark Howard is another good money dude. I actually listen to his radio show driving home from work if it’s late. My advise – go on a nice vaction with part of the cash – you only go around once and if you don’t have major debt enjoy it! As my friend says “the last I checked I didn’t see a yellow Ryder truck of money following anyone up to heaven” and since you don’t have kids – it’s all yours!!

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  4. Wow. These comments are something else.
    So – here’s an idea. Use the money to do fantastic giveaways on your blog. You do realize that it is hard to fight about money until you have some? So you should give it away so you don’t have anything to fight about anymore.
    I know – I’m brilliant. I amaze even myself sometimes.

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  5. And Donna H. – Did you notice that the name of the episode is “Bushy Hare”. Sounds like one of June’s adult theater titles! I’m am cracking up.

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  6. Oy! 6 weeks! Okay…. I trust you! I just hope I can survive. If not… do you want a super-duper sweet (and neutered) black boy???! lol! (he actually let me give him a bath the first night and didn’t even scratch/hiss/bite at me! Thank goodness & I’m so happy cuz I didn’t even think if he may have rabies, duh!) Thanks so much for the answer on a non-Ask-June day!!!

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  7. I second Cristy’s comments – Dave Ramsey does NOT accept credit cards. Trust me. It would have been much easier ordering his materials from Canada if he did – as it was we had to go get a US bank draft and Fed Ex it in; because our Canadian Debit cards won’t work in the States unless you’re there to swipe them in person.
    And Donna H – thanks for finding that episode – that’s awesome! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  8. Thirty years I’ve been saying that stupid line. And you know I was pretty close? And really, why would he have been a cannibal, seeing as Bugs Bunny was a rabbit? Instead he was an Aborigine, and MAN, was that ever offensive to Aborigines.

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  9. OMG, I just can’t give up on senseless trivia. I found the darn thing. The part that was confusing me was the cannibal thing. The character is referred to as “Nature Boy” and it’s in Australia. I guess he’s supposed to be an Aborigine. Here is the link to watch and confirm if it’s the one you are thinking about.


    Cheers!
    D in FL ๐Ÿ˜€
    Happy to get another trivia question out of my mind! Woo Hoo, now back to that no life I have.

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  10. OK, this is acutally something I remember from watching Bugs Bunny all those years ago. “Unga bunga binga inga binga binga bunga” (with great emphasis on the last bunnnnn GA.) I’m not sure the name of the episode. Since I apparently have no semblance of life I’ve spent far too long looking for the episode’s name. Which has educated me in the ways of Bugs Bunny & Censorship. It’s also kept me on youtube for a couple of hours, thank you very much! Bugs Bunny along with the rest of his pals were all part of the great babysitter. Those were the days! OK, now I have to see if I can actually pry my ass out of this chair.
    Cheers!
    D in FL ๐Ÿ˜€

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  11. June, Marvin totally DOES need to agree to take the Dave Ramsey class. Husband and I took it (it took a year for HIM to talk ME into it!) and it was fabulous. I really did come away with it feeling so much better, and just in the 11 weeks worth of classes we paid off at least $1000 worth of debt without any extra income OR selling organs illegally. So, yeah, totally worth it. Not to mention, taking the class helped me FINALLY convince him to get rid of his ridiculous $20k whole life insurance policy and we used THAT money to pay off even MORE debt.
    I totally want to know what responsible things you all want to do with the money.

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  12. I just realized you must be getting that first-time homeowner’s tax credit…”ain’t life grand?” as my grandma used to say. My son is getting that too (yes, I’m one of your OLD readers). FWIW, he’s putting the whole chunk on his car payment, since the car interest is not tax-deductible.
    What a GOOD dilemma to fight about – it sure beats the “which bill should I pay this month?” money dilemma.

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  13. So let met get this straight: you are debt free, and you’re fighting about what to do with all the extra money you’re getting back?
    That’s not exactly a bad thing to be fighting about.

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  14. Can you divide it up and each spend it on what you want? Is it ALL going to not-so-fun stuff, or is a bit going to fun times? Props for allocating it to practical stuff but I would splurge a little bit. A dinner out, a weekend trip, diamond cat collar, blow it on blow… But that’s just me.

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  15. Oh my gosh, take it from a pro who’s been married over 40 years. We still fight and go to bed mad. It all works out in the end…he apologizes and three days later I’m over it!

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  16. Someone please explain to my husband that you pay taxes all year long – if you pay too much, you get some pack, if you pay too little, you have to pay the rest.
    He’s mad at ME because we aren’t getting five billion dollars back. I try to explain, it’s the SAME EITHER WAY. If you want a big chunk of money every year in March, start a savings account. Autodraft money from your paycheck into that account all year and then transfer it all back into your checking March…. dummy. It’s not magic money that comes out of no where.
    Why am I writing you all this in a blog comment? I do not know.

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  17. It is Hart to Hart! And it’s Stefanie Powers! OMG. But I do thank you for bringing up Hart to Hart on June’s blog. It has made my day.

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  18. Really June, the more I think about this, the more I think you need to buy a camper.
    You and Marvin can hit the road and be a modern day Heart 2 Heart, or was it Hart to Hart? Does anyone remember that show? You and that Stephanie Powers both have beeeeutiful curly hair, which helps when there are mysteries to be solved. And you have pets, also a big plus. We NEED good detectives that can travel around and uncover enigmas like the banking crisis and how politicians actually get elected…
    I double, triple pink puffy heart Jane@WhatAboutMom. My husband is self employed as well. I don’t trust anyone that sells a how to get out of debt program and accepts credit cards as a form of payment.

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  19. I’m with the splitting the money in half–except more like 75/25. Don’t you EARN more than Marvin so won’t most of the taxes withheld from YOU?
    Plus, men buy stupid stuff. Unless we tell them specifically what we want for our birthdays and what size underpanch to get us for Christmas.

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  20. I think you need to adopt my philosophy. I told my husband when he proposed that all would be well if he understood one thing: what’s mine is mine and what’s his is mine. And what he doesn’t automatically hand over, I take. Then he gets to live with me in a semi-happy state.
    Seriously, having eight months of expenses put away (in case anyone of you loses your job)would help you sleep better, then pay off debt with the rest of it.
    Boy, I’ll bet that last suggestion was helpful!

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  21. “Now that we’re debt free . . .”
    If I knew Sarah B. in real life, I’d want to firebomb her house right about now. But she probably has really great insurance coverage and keeps second copies of all of her important documents in a safe deposit bank in two separate banks on opposites sides of town. Just in, you know, case.
    And she’s probably a size six.

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  22. Let me guess. Spring is just around the corner and Marvin’s idea of practical is a brand new LAWN MOWER. Men and their asinine definitions of practical.
    My advice, take it to Vegas, baby!

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  23. Anyone who decides to get a doctorate in the sciences is a masochist.
    I still have nightmares about electrophoresis. When you come visit, I’ll tell you all about the joys of looking for sperm plugs in mice. Good times!

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  24. ***sorry for the an instead of a. I actually was going to type an enormous in front of the rest but I just washed my hands and can’t do a thing with them.****
    Now back to your regular scheduled Pie

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  25. Would that be the one where they have the Uga booga booga conversation? Bugs had a whole conversation/discussion using just Uga booga booga.
    Dave Ramsey doesn’t work for us because we are self employed. You have to have regular income for that to work.
    Oh as far as California housing prices…Here is a little bit of mind boggleing information..
    My house & land in 2002 appraised for $350K
    My house & land in 2006 appraised $7 million (yes I should have sold it and ran to Bora Bora with the money but I didn’t)
    My house & land appraised in 2009 for $250K.
    I guess this means Costco doesn’t want to build an giant super mega store on my property anymore.

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  26. You know, I think you should buy into all those *Save Your Money* plans/books/DVD’s/classes/etc. Then you won’t have any money left to fight about! You do know that THAT is what Dave is cackling about, don’t you? Now, back to Winston. Did that poor wittow kittie get any sleep last night? Or did bad Junie leave a cap out again? Is that why Junie and Marvie are having a tiff – cause they played with Winnie all night instead of sleeping?
    Stay tuned in for the next installment of: Bye Bye Sanity. (Unless your cable company/satellite/antenna didn’t go with the switch over to digital. Then it is Bye Bye Bye.)

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  27. You know there is really only one way to decide this…….it is time for a cheer off. Or you could see who can go the longest without showering.

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  28. My husband and I never fight, except for when we do.
    We’ve been on the Dave Ramsey program for 7 years, it’s obviously working ๐Ÿ™‚ “most” people on the program have paid off their house by now, maybe we shouldn’t have had 20 kids.
    Maybe you should put a poll up as to whether you should put that poll up.

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  29. What did Bugs Bunny say? Did you find it? Did Humphrey Bogart show up and save him???? I am sure you talked about a lot of other stuff in your post, but honestly it is all glazed over because I need to know what Bugs Bunny said.
    Did you say something about getting money from the government? Don’t spend it, bury it in your backyard (never the mattress, they always look there). Have you heard? The world is going to end soon and only those with cold hard cash will survive. Save the money!!!! Or, you could buy a camper. I want to read all about posts of you and Marvin camping.

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  30. I’ve read Dave Ramsey’s book and I used to listen to his radio show. He has sound ideas and strategies for getting out of debt and investing, but his arrogance about his way being the only way, and his God-awful cackling at his own jokes on the radio has turned me off to him.
    If you are really undecided, (I’m guessing it might be a disagreement about saving it vs. paying off debt? Or maybe I’m totally wrong. Anyway.)you could send me a very small portion of it, like $254. Because that’s how much I owe the bastards this year. I have no idea how that happened.

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  31. If Marvin doesn’t want to take Dave Ramsey’s class what about just reading his book, Total Money Makeover? I love that book. It changed the way I view money.
    Now that we’re debt free we are over Dave Ramsey. I’m reading David Bach’s Smart Couples Finish Rich and loving it. It has a values circle exercise where you and your partner get to decide what’s important to you. It’s fun.
    It would be fair to say that I’m a bit of a personal finance junkie, which is how I found your blog. You roped me into your blog with all of that no spending for a year talk and now I can’t leave.
    P.S. I would love to vote on what you should spend the money on! But am in agreement that it’s probably not the healthiest way to resolve the conflict. …but it sure would be fun.

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  32. When I got married, my MIL pulled me aside and said “Honey, I’ve learned one secret in life. Let him spend whatever he wants, and it’ll come back to you in spades.” I’ve actually followed this advice, and it has worked.
    Pouting has also worked.
    Let me know how it goes for ya’.

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