I came home tonight and put on my new party shoes, then hoisted my legs up the wall, because who doesn't? Then I took a picture of said shoes so you could see them in all their glory.
It's an eBay phone. I don't mean that it dials directly to eBay, which would be nice, I mean that our old kitchen in Burbank was all knotty pine and retro, so we got a yellow dial phone on eBay just because we thought it'd look cool in that kitchen.
I just tried to find you photos of that kitchen, and next time I need pictures of something else I will find them, but in the meantime I found photographs of me being inappropriate during dinners. Just a little something to make Sandy quiver when she considers me attending her wedding this weekend. In the not-at-all-noticeable red dress.
Really, if you can't call attention to yourself at a family dinner, when can you? I don't even like red and green peppers. But they make fine tusks.
We were at a wedding where chocolate coins were given out, which made sense given the groom's last name. And now you are sitting there thinking, "His last name is Pesos? Moneypenny? Coin?" Oh, give up. Anyway, could my mother and I leave it alone? Could we bring any dignity to our table? Of course not.
But that is not why I have gathered you all here today. What I was really going to talk about was how I was lying on the floor of the kitchen, my legs hoisted in the air, and I realized I could get some really unflattering shots of Tallulah at that angle. Who's the worst dog mom ever?
Oh sure, I'll pay to have MY double chin fixed, but I let old jowly flap in the breeze.
I just like this one because Tallulah is in front of the trash closet where food might also be kept, and I can see Winston's little foot in there. He likes to sneak into the closet and try to break into the food. You know what that square is on the floor? A piece of the cat food bag. What a jerk.
You're right, Tallulah. My deepest apologies. Now go to bed. Goodnight, honey. No, really, I'm hitting "Post" right now. No more unflattering photos of you. Goodnight.