In case you didn't see it on the CNN ticker or read it in your local newspaper, I went to Michigan for a wedding this weekend. My college roommate Sandy got hitched, after 34 years of being single.
See what I did there? I shaved some years off her. That's the kind of friend I am.
And I just have to say, for the record, what whenever my friends look beautiful, I somehow take personal pride in it. Like somehow it was my doing that my friends look good, or it reflects on me that the friends I've chosen are hot. I don't know the psychology behind it, y'all, I'm just saying that's what happens.
So when I saw Sandy come down that aisle, I was already weeping at the ANTICIPATION of seeing her, but when she came out? And she was the most beautiful woman the earth had ever seen? I had to clasp my wadded-up Kleenex to my chest to keep my heart from bursting out, that's how proud I was of myself for picking her.
Yes, I know she's in the middle of saying something, but just try to catch a bride not hobnobbing during her wedding. But come on now. Beautiful? And I wish you could see that engagement ring better. I tried to photograph it but it is actually unphotographable or something, so large and brilliant is it.
And I would like to point out that despite my efforts to get the bride to wear a sparkly "June" barrette in her hair, as hard as I squinted, this did not seem to spell out anything. And hey! That's the groom with her! Don't poor grooms get ignored at weddings. Shout out to Allan!
Before we got to the seeing-of-the-bride (oh, and groom) part, however, Dottie and I got to our room and were delighted that there was a whole gift bag o' food for us.
I do not know why I look like I am male gendered, if you know what I mean. I was PRETTY EXCITED about the snacks, I guess.
And I'll tell you what, we had no time to gab. I got off the plane at 2:30, we got to the hotel about 3:30, and the shuttle for the ding-dang wedding was at 5:00. Brassieres and heels were flying, and I did not photograph that part, but here is Dot in all her finery:
Okay, yes, she is also stroking a plastic gazelle as well as modeling her finery. Sometimes that happens.
My finery photo was actually taken at two in the morning, when I remembered we'd not taken one. Hence that I look as though I am about to have a coronary, with that flushed face. I'd been DANCING. Sue me.
And what a natural pose. I was off to hostess a game show after.
During the reception portion of the evening, we were mixing and mingling and someone came up to me. "June!" she said. And I do not mean that she said my real name and I just changed it to "June" just now. She actually said "June." Turns out? She's a friend of Sandy's, and she and her husband read my blog all the time. They knew who I was because they saw me get this dress via this blog, blow out the hair via this blog, Nair the lip, etc.
They did not tell me I could use their real names, so here are Faithful Readers Glue and Calyx, who sat at our table and were just a hoot all night:
You know how you meet people and hit it off with them immediately? Well, particularly because they have read your life story and already think you're funny and also know that your date likes Stroh's? Okay, perhaps this example is no longer relatable.
Anyway, we had a good time with Glue and Calyx and have scheduled a Detroit date with them (so they can finally meet Marvin) (which by the way, you guys, we'll be in in April for a dog bar mitzvah. I am not making that up. So clear April! We'll see you then!).
Also at our table was another woman who I did not remember to ask permission to use her name, so let's just say it's NOT MARY, and this is her purse. She and four other friends purchased this purse for $5 when they were on vacation in Fort Meyers. Now every time one of them goes to a wedding, they take the purse. And they have a big note in there that they add to, talking about each wedding. Okay, I LOVE THIS! I LOVE the mermaid-looking traveling purse! I so want one!
I don't know what else to tell you, except I got compliments on my dress, and OH! I was passing a tight spot and some man said, "You're thin, you can squeeze through." I said yeah, probably, and then I turned back and said, "And thank you for saying I'm thin." Loved him. Loved him, the traveling purse, the Glue and the Calyx and the nice guy who sat next to me at our fun table. Oh! And I loved Sandy's wedding shoes!
Dot was a good date, and danced with me to various songs such as Brick House and the Bee Gees without complaining. You can't have a bad time with Dot. Or Sandy.
Really, why am I so flushed? I look like I'm going to explode. We hadn't danced for hours at this point. And I wasn't drunk, either.
Oh, good. At least here I'm a normal color. What am I so enamored of? I look like Barry Gibb just walked into the room.
Well, I'm glad you could all take a trip up my nostrils and to the Michigan wedding with me. I will do comment of the week tomorrow. Right now I'm so tired I could spit. I do not know how people jet set.