I’m Irked

Marvin feels victorious, and is in the other room gloating. If you didn't read my post yesterday, you have no idea what I'm talking about. Also too, I like how the comments morphed from "This is a fine topic" to "Yes, you certainly should scan all your old 'I'm Irked' articles and put them on here." Okay, I NEVER SAID I was going to do that. You all just made that up in your own minds.

Moving on to today's topic, I need dog advice, first of all. As you know, this dog goes to day care, and she loves other dogs. But when I pick her up, she runs into the lobby, I put the leash on her, and I have to sign her out. If, while I'm signing her out, some other person comes and gets THEIR dog? Who she just spent nine hours playing with in the other room? She goes berserk. She barks and snarls and leaps and sounds TOTALLY EVIL, like she has no idea that she just spent the day with this dog.

Icylu
Is she a moron? Is there some kind of dog gang war going on at dog day care, and all the dogs who come out happen to be Crips and Lula is a Blood? What on earth do I do? I have no idea how to get her to shut up, and it is humiliating. Help, please.

Also, I was emailing with someone from high school and I started thinking about old romances. Not that I was emailing with anyone I had a romance with, but we started talking about our old romances in general. Do you have any terrible broken heart stories? Isn't it funny how much time you waste feeling bad about someone you broke up with, when you're just gonna get over them and feel fine about it eventually?

My worst story, as some of you who've read this blog awhile know, is the one where I lived with a guy for a year or two, and he wasn't ready to get married. I was all of 27 or something, and I said time's a-wastin'. If you're not ready to get married, I have no choice but to move on. Which was stupid, because I was in no way ready to be married myself. But whatever. I was just mad he didn't want to marry me.

Anyway, I ran into him TWO MONTHS LATER and he had eloped with someone else. TWO MONTHS. Believe it or not, I maintained my composure, said congratulations and managed to escape before I THREW MYSELF TO THE GROUND and wept for about a year and a half. Oh, that was humiliating. I think when someone says they're not ready to get married, it means they're not ready to get married to you.

I also had a boyfriend in college, who never quite closed his mouth. I mean, it always hung open a little. Now I wish I hadn't said that, because I actually stalked him on Google recently, and I could have linked to his photo and we could have all stalked his photo together, but now I have said that sort of mean thing and I can't show you his picture. Anyway, one summer I was going to London for the whole summer and he was going on this archaeological dig in the middle of Mexico. I spent the ENTIRE SUMMER mooning over this guy when I should have been enjoying London, and he NEVER WROTE OR CALLED ME ONCE. Not once!

The thing was, he was in this remote place, and I didn't know if I was dumped or if he simply had no way of contacting me. So you can imagine my nervousness when I went to get him at the airport. On the drive to his apartment, he told me things had changed and he needed time to think.

I was in the middle of working this huge festival for my job, and all my friends were working the same festival, and they all knew I was going to get him at the airport, and that I had drama. So when I showed up without him at the festival the next day, I'll never forget how everyone just wordlessly formed a big circle around me and hugged me. I hate hugs, but at that point I accepted it.

Then he showed up at the festival and said he wanted to give it another try, leading me in retrospect to think he spent the whole summer sleeping with another archaeologist but decided I was the better choice. Whatev.

So, tell me your dreadful heartbreak story. One time a woman said to Marvin, "I'd rather be a bitch than go out with you," which doesn't even make any sense.

47 thoughts on “I’m Irked

  1. I have one that I could tell you but it would be the length of a novel and would end with me in a very bad place so I won’t tell you that one. I will however tell you about Cowboy Steve who was the guy I dated after my divorce. He was wonderful and sweet and made me a bread bowl out of a tree that was struck by lightening. How can you not love a guy like that? Anyway…long story short I broke up with him to date a maniacal lunatic rapist. Yeah I’m a real good judge of character huh?

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  2. My dog has totally changed in the last two months. She’s even snappy with ME now. From everything I’ve read and been told, it’s because she’ll be two next week and is maturing. Maybe Tallulah is going through something similar. Either way, good luck. Love stories? No thanks… but only for the sake of maintaining the integrity of comment length.

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  3. not at all related to the topic, and not about me, but once in college, my bff’s roommate Sandy got really REALLY drunk on a first date. (shocker!) The date walked her to our dorm, where he planned on kissing her goodbye at the glass doors. As he leaned in, Sandy mumbled “excuse me, but Sandy needs to go throw up now” in his ear and went upstairs.
    I’d like to think the boy didn’t take it personally.

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  4. Maybe Lula is growling at the other dog because he looked up her skirt at school today and now that she’s with her mom she’s telling him off….because she’s safe.
    I dated this great guy in college right after breaking up with a live-in guy. I broke up with the great guy after 2 months to get back together with another train wreck guy who I’d been with through all of high school. One year later when the train wreck guy broke up with me because he “wasn’t ready to get married” I called the great guy up and weaseled my way back into his heart. We’ve been married 10 years this May.

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  5. Maybe Lula is afraid the other dog wants her Mama, and is telling it to back off, your hers? Or not. I like the crips/bloods theory best. Perhaps you should buy her a bandana?
    I once dated a charmer who, after 2 years together and I was out of contact on a work trip, avoided my calls from the public phone for three weeks then dumped me via a text message he sent to my ex boyfriend’s phone. Classy. I’m still kicking myself that getting dumped by him made me cry. Turned out it was the best thing that happened to me, as my very-very-hunky-but-platonic friend was right there to tell me that the bloke was a jerk, and that he’d like a chance to do a better job. And now we’re married. Hooray for happy endings!

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  6. I think I love J for the “When Harry Met Sally” reference.
    I don’t have many stories. Except one time in college, I was sort of seeing this guy, and then I made the mistake of drunkenly telling him that I really liked him. After that, he totally treated me like shit. And I stood for it too long. Young and stupid, I was. The End.

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  7. I am not a doggy doc by any stretch but I have learned a few things that may apply to Lula and the Doggy Day Care exit.
    One, when on a leash dogs can act much differently than when they are roaming free. It has something to do with them not being able to defend themselves while restrained or something.
    The other factor is that you are there. She may be simply protective of you, defending her territory as it were.
    The folks at doggie day care should have some ideas for you to try, have you asked them?
    Since we went to school together, I am not going to share my heartbreak stories except to say that straight or no, MM saved me from being married to a loser very early in life. Not a heartbreak, but definately a life changer.

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  8. After graduate school I signed a contract on a lease and a contract for a job offer and moved halfway across the country to be with the one I loved. Except turns out he was loving someone else and neglected to tell me until two weeks before my move date. I couldn’t get out of the lease without boatloads of money that I didn’t have, so I moved anyway.
    Two weeks after I arrived in town, I met my husband to be. I was bluer than blue and sadder than sad that day he walked into the room, and he changed my tune in about sixty seconds flat.

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  9. I agree with PlumCow. The dog is restrained in a small area and she is probably trying to protect you from the other dogs. I think you’re going to have to experiment with ways to keep her calm. Ignore the other dog, change the way you stand – keep her as far from the other dog as possible, as soon as she starts to get tense get her attention and make her focus on you, and reward for good calm behavior.

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  10. That story of yours is so very Harry/Sally. I almost thought you were making it up or leading into a joke. When you ran off and sobbed over the eloping boyfriend, did you cry out that his new bride (Kimberly) was supposed to be his TRANSITIONAL PERSON, not THE ONE?
    This is not really what you asked for, but I just thought of this. I dated this guy from high school and after we broke up I didn’t see him for like 15 years. So when I did finally run into him, I was at the grocery store with a buggy full of food and my three children. My middle child, who is always shy and won’t speak to people decided to do something completely out of character at that very point in time. The child stepped out in front of the ex-boyfriend and said in this clear and serious little four year old voice, “Our father is dead.” The thing is, their father was so not dead. He couldn’t have been any less dead. I don’t know where this statement came from–but for him to say this to my ex was just so hilarious to me. I burst into laughter and I don’t think I even made any explanation to the old boyfriend. And that still makes me laugh because I just wonder what that guy thought.
    BTW, I thought you looked great at the wedding. (I wasn’t there—I saw your pictures)

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  11. i have 2 stories to tell, both equally important.
    FIRST STORY:i dated a big druggie (mike) who treated me horribly all through high school. but I LOVED HIM, even though he only called me when he needed sex or couldn’t find some one else. i ended up marrying someone i didn’t love simply because i didn’t want to be alone.
    later after i got divorced, he found me on myspace. we picked up, hot and heavy. for 3 days, we in love, planning visits and possibly moving in together. on the 4th day, he didn’t call. on the 6th day, he explained that he had met someone 2 days before WHO WAS THE ONE and we haven’t spoken since.
    SECOND STORY: when i first divorced, i visited a female friend in florida who was playing the personals, so i put an ad up 2 weeks before my visit. i had 73 replies! my third date and i hit it off and spent an illicit week-end together. he was a single father and we split all the expenses. we made plans to hook up again. he called me every day for 2 weeks after i got back. i knew he was financially strapped so i told him he didn’t need to call me everyday, we could write or email, i understood the money thing. so he never called me again. later, i made the mistake of googling him and found out he made it rich by starting his own company, married his son’s baby-sitter and had just purchased a $7 million dollar home right on the ocean. me and my big mouth! worrying about a few cents worth of long distance!
    think google exists to be a bizarro version of “it’s a wonderful life!” instead of google.com, they should call it itcouldhavebeenawonderfullifedumbass.com!

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  12. I love the “I’d rather be a bitch than go out with you” line. I hope I remember to use it (although I’ll have to change the whole go out with you part as I’m married and unlikely to be asked to go out).

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  13. In high school, a guy knowingly strung me along for a year. We were really good friends, I SERIOUSLY thought he was going to ask me out (he bought me pretty gifts from his trip to Europe. Yeah.)
    Then, he suddenly stopped contacting me. Much later on, he told me he never liked me, but he tried to like me, and said he felt really bad about it. But not bad enough to actually be honest with me.

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  14. Could you perhaps sign Tallulah out prior to having her brought to you? You might also have the person who is bringing her up front take her leash back and put it on for you. That way you could just whisk her out the door and avoid dealing with more prolonged doggy confrontations.

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  15. Your dog needs to be Whispered. Cesar can fix anything.
    Never had my heart really gut wrenchingly broken. Maybe my first boyfriend in high school, but when I got my second boyfriend, I realized the first one was not all that.
    I did have a guy beg me to move to Nebraska of all places so we could pursue a relationship. He wrote me love letters of my awesomeness – I would go out with him when I was there visiting my sister. I had gone out with him on, thankfully I didn’t sleep him. The next morning I read his wedding announcement on my sister’s fridge. He was getting married in two weeks. By the time I got back home there was a letter from him explaining how much of a prude his wife to be was, and how it was “too late to cancel the wedding” and he would only ever love me. Blah blah blah. Last I heard he’d just lost 300 pounds. Which would have caused him to disappear 1.8 times from when I knew him. Which makes me the winner!

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  16. My dog’s behavior has really improved now that I implement the practices of the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan. His show is on National Geographic and he has a website with tips. He is awesome. We humans must provide our dogs with exercise, discipline and affection, in that order, or they act like maniacs. As he would say, stay calm and assertive! Dogs feed off of our energy, so if you are nervous about Tallulah acting crazy, she will.

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  17. What is lulah carrying in her mouth? It looks like a snow covered duck!
    And trust me you do not want to know my heartbreak story.

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  18. It’s true about Cesar Milan. His suggestion would be to sorta yank on her leash to divert her attention and go “shh!” or “hey!” or whatever your empowering ‘no-no’ sound is. But you have to do it the second you start to sense she might be tensing up or zeroing in on some other dog. I have no idea if this will work. Also once a guy broke up with me and then was like “I feel sad. can I kiss you?” um, no. you can’t.

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  19. My story is from sophomore year of high school. My heart wasn’t broken (it was HIGH SCHOOL) for Pete’s sake) but being my first boyfriend EVER, I had no idea how to go about it all. I checked out the book “The Rules” from the library and pretty much ran that relationship to the ground! (Note to self-highschool boys do not like being turned down for the vague “I have other plans” they don’t fall in line and ask you earlier, they think you don’t want to hang out with them and break up with you in front of the girls bathroom.) C’est la vie! I’m married now to a great man I met in college and he (the high school boyfriend) is an ex-military, ex-married chicken farmer living with his parents and dating my black sheep younger sister! (Jerry Springer, here we come!)

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  20. I was head over heels in love with someone who decided he didn’t want children. I knew I did, so as painful as it was, I broke up with him before he could propose. Fast forward seven years, I am now married and have fertility issues. He has 3 “accidental” children. I’m not sure what broke my heart more…that he didn’t want children and fate gave them to him anyway, or that I want them so much, can’t seem to have them, and he thinks it’s appropriate to tell me how accidental his children are. What a jerk!

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  21. My dog, Stella Mirra – Retrieved Golden is your dog’s twin. And she acts the same damn way. It’s embarrassing. She just turned 2 in January and I’m looking forward to the day that she settles the heck down!
    I’ve dog whispered the bejeebers right out of her and yet she still does the growly snarly while wagging the tail thing. She’d never bite anyone but she sure as heck can scare people half to death.
    I’ll be checking back for doggy advice.

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  22. Lately I’ve been feeling bad about how I treated some girls in my past. I know I was a late bloomer and didn’t really know what I was doing, but I was also so self-absorbed that I didn’t realize how I may have hurt others with how I handled some relationships. Is it normal to feel regrets so much after the fact? Is it middle age? Is it depression? Am I finally maturing?

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  23. I was going to college but wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to keep going there b/c it was really expensive and my dad could only afford to help me out with tuition the first year. So I started looking around at other schools and went to this one that my bf from hs was at. Well, also this guy that I was kind of seeing long-distance went there too. I really liked the school I was at and didn’t want to leave even though my kind-of boyfriend was at this other school. When I got this scholarship to my school, I took it as a sign that I was supposed to stay there. Meanwhile, another guy (now my husband) told me that he was interested in me even though he knew I was seeing the other guy (actually, that’s why he told me he was interested, he wanted to tell me before things got too serious). Well, the other guy was really smitten for me and I could tell that he liked me more than I liked him. Since we had been friends before we started dating, it was really awkward and I knew that we weren’t going to be able to stay friends after I broke up with him. Once I finally did, we only emailed each other once and I admitted that I was seeing someone else and that’s why I broke up with him. I always felt so bad for that. I knew that he really cared about me and that he would have been good to me, but I didn’t feel that spark. Its been 10 years since all of that happened, and to this day I feel guilty (he’s married and has a kid now) that I hurt him.

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  24. Our dog acts like a lunatic when leashed. Off leash, he doesn’t bark or show any interest in the dogs in our neighborhood. He can go from happy to hellish in the second it takes to put on the leash. Does this happen only after you leash Lula?

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  25. I broke up with my college boyfriend (of three years) the day after I met my husband. It was honest of me to do, but I know hard for him.
    My date for senior prom (just a date, not a boyfriend) got totally trashed, threw up in the ice chest and then tried to kiss me. Not cool!

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  26. Not a broken-heart story, but a “how could I have such low self-esteem that I would put up with this behavior” story. My first boyfriend in high school made no bones about not really liking me (and only went out with me because I was the only one who would have him, as it turns out) and would talk about how much he would like to go out with this other girl in the neighborhood (she had big boobs…), while we were PARKING!!! I finally broke up with him when he asked me to go somewhere but admitted he had already asked my SISTER out first and she had turned him down. I guess this is a broken-heart story because man, that hurt. I hope that in his case, what goes around comes around and that someone treated him as shabbily. (What, me, bitter?)

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  27. It’s hard to reflect on a heartbreak story when I’m not in that achy-breaky spot right now. But nearly two decades ago, I rekindled a romance with my first high school boyfriend when I was home for the summer. We had a brief, intense relationship that ended with him trying to dump me on one of his friends one evening. (Afterward, I always wondered if he was trying to “get me back” for breaking up with him in high school.) Soon after the “dumping,” I moved out of state and soon after that – discovered I was pregnant. There was certainly heartbreak and confusion and bitterness off and on for several years as this person moved in and out (typically more out that in) of our lives. So it was dreadful for a while, but ultimately led to a pretty wonderful life change for me. (And I may be biased, but I think the young person I brought into the world is helping make it a better place.)

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  28. Ok. The leash thing is totally common, June. Koty is the same exact way. Pulls, barks, growls, acts like a maniac. I have found that if I do the correction before he can even escalate into that mode, it’s fine. He resorts to whimpering! So, if you can, just make Lula sit and reinforce that she is to “Sit, stay and LEAVE it!” (Does she know “Leave it?” – cos that’s a good command!).

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  29. Heartbreak story? I’ll remain anonymous for this one.
    Was unhappily married at 25. Husband moved out at 27. Started having an affair at 27 with someone 18 years old. Hot and heavy, etc. Finally divorced husband after counseling, and also breaking off the affair.
    Called affair-boy and he was TOTALLY into seeing me, almost living with me.
    Of course, about a year into it I had the sneaking suspicion that he was seeing someone else. And, of course, I was right.
    After breaking up and getting back together with this person over FOUR YEARS (wasting my time), I finally called it quits. Found out he had been cheating on me all along. Really messed up my head and really broke my heart.
    So, as the grown-up person that I am? I stole his license plates and threw them in a lake! Made me feel worlds better!
    Saw him not too long ago and told him that I was really glad that he was such a jerk because my life turned out SO much better than I ever could have imagined! I’m very happily married for 7 years now!

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  30. Lula just feels threatened on the leash. Make her sit, tell her to “Leave it!” and make her look at your eyes, even if you have to manually do it. And don’t say, “leaveitleaveitleaveit!” Once is sufficient. When she’s calm, tell her what an idiotic nutjob coo coo for Cocoa Puffs head case she is, but do it in a sappy sweet lilting voice, because the only thing she’ll understand is that you’re saying her name all nice like.
    I’m not confessing to any break up stories because they usually involved me doing the snapping. I have Lula like leash issues, okay?

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  31. My heartbreak story is about the Lothario quarterback of my high school. I was SOOO in love. He wasn’t. We fooled around quite a bit, luckily never did ‘the deed’. I was ready to pledge eternal love and he wrote me a note that said, “I like you. I don’t like you so much that I DROOL over you, but it’s fun making out and stuff.” I took this to mean his pledge of eternal love back to me. On prom night he had an attack of the guilts and didn’t deflower me like I wanted him too. I shudder to think I could have wound up pregnant in high school, because of my own stupidity. I have searched for him several times on the internet but never found him (I am happily married to another high school love). I hear thru old friends the quarterback is now a divorced drunk. Huh.

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  32. When I was 27, I dated a cute college kid. I wasn’t looking for anything serious and he was fun. However, the drunk calls at 3am after his frat parties got old fast. One day he just disappeared. I wasn’t heartbroken but definitely curious. After a month he showed back up wanting to pick back up. I would hang out with him, but wouldn’t let it go anywhere. Good thing too. It turned out he had stopped calling because he had met a sorority sister. He only started calling me again when he was bored with her. He would come over to hang out (trying and failing to get some loving from me) and complain about what a spoiled brat she is and wishing he hadn’t screwed up with me. He would tell me how much he missed me and how they would fight all the time. I just laughed. I wasn’t falling for it. He was obviously still with her.
    I just recently got an email from him on facebook. We’ve both gotten married since then. Me to my awesome husband and him to his spoiled brat, arguing sorority sister.

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  33. Too sad to be true, but it is. And I’m changing my usual name and writing style to protect the innocent… me.
    Dated a boy on and off all through high school. Was head over heels although one of my best friends liked him too. I would fool around with him but wouldn’t do the deed because I was suspicious that if I did, it would be the end of it. Finally, senior year I found out he was dating (doing) a girl from his school. I asked him about it and the reply I got was not kind about the girl and I won’t repeat it here. Basically he did it as a “dare” as this girl was being raised in a very religious home and no one thought he could get into her pants. After graduation, he went to the Marines and I sent him letters like the love sick puupy I was. When he came home, he called me and wanted to see me. He said it was because the letters I sent really made him realize how he felt for me and he wanted to give it a try. I saw him once and then we made a date for the next Friday night. Thursday night he called to see if we were still on and then said, “I am going to have to be home early, around midnight or so.” I asked why and he announced “I’m getting married to (insert other girls name here) on Saturday at noon. I can’t be late.” I sat there in stunned silence and then started to cry. He went on to tell me that she was pregnant and his mom and her mom were “forcing” him to marry her. I couldn’t believe my ears. He told me that this didn’t deter his feelings for me and he still wanted to go out on Friday. (!!!!!) I broke the date and held my diginity together while I told him to lose my number then hung up and cried for three days. About three months later, he called. In the days before caller ID. I answered and was blown away that it was him. I asked him where his wife was and why he was calling me. He told me his marriage was a mistake and he missed me. I was totally a bitch to him. I will also say that I knew where his wife worked (in the mall) and she knew who I was and I will say I made her life a living hell for many months. And now that I am grown up and married myself, I feel really bad about treating her that way.
    Long (er) story short… he called me all the time, wanted me to come over to see him while she was at work and I won’t say I didn’t go see him, but I never would do the deed, no matter how many (lots) of moves he put on me.
    They are divorced now and I run into him occasionally. He will say something along the lines of “I should have stayed with you” and I always answer “yeah, you sha=ould have.”

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  34. June, dogs have been know to eat their own or other dog’s poop, need i say more? Dogs just do goofy things sometimes. Go figure.
    It’s interesting how many “love gone wrong” stories are from high school. I have one but, it’s just too long and sorted. Let’s just say it involves dating a girl then realizing i was falling in love with her sister…..and NO, nothing happened.

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  35. Can’t help you with your dog problem, I only have cats. Sorry.
    I dated guys that were nice, but never really fell for any of them, until I met the love of my life and I fell hard. We were married six month after we started dating. I was so young, we both were very young, but we are still married 42.5 years later. He still is the love of my life. 🙂

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  36. My ex-boyfriend before Hubby dumped me after 3.5 years but just not returning phones calls, writing letters or sending smoke signals.
    I found out from a mutual acquaintance that he was dating someone else.
    For a long time I called him “If the phone doesn’t ring it’s (insert stupid name).”
    Anyway, I ended up marrying my best friend who moved to be close to me as soon as he realized what was going on. Twelve years later it’s all history. I just wish he would have grown a pair and broken up with me like a man rather than do the lame silent thing.

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  37. I remember feeling really mature waiting for a person I really liked to start dating. At 19 I got together with the best-guy-friend. He was a player and treated all his lays badly but as his best friend I got the pleasure of him always being on time, calling when he said he would and telling me what was really going on in his brain…till we got together. After two weeks of “baby, there was definitely a good reason why I couldn’t make it” I broke it off with him. He’s a much better mate than boyfriend. Damn you rom-coms, don’t teach us to go for the friend who’s been there all along! I wasted my first relationship on that! 😀

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  38. I have several I-thought-I -was-in-love-so- I-stalked-them-when-I-was-drunk stories-oh young love! My ex-husband asked me for a divorce over the phone – on New Year’s day, when i was at my bother’s wedding in Montana and he was in Florida. That was pretty cold but we were having issues and it ended up being the best thing that could have happened. I guess that is more of silver lining story than a heartbreak story… I’m happily married to a guy I met 5 months after the big divorce & I recently got a phone call from an attorney looking for the ex about a civil law suit. It was so nice to tell him I had no idea where the jerk was & I hadn’t seen or heard from him in over 15 years!

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  39. Wampus does that all the time, don’t you remember? Not that that makes your current situation any better..He’s fine once he’s off the leash but on the leash, he leaps forward, growling and barking at any dog while, now get this, his tail is wagging. I always say his body is too long, given he’s a dachshund, and somewhere in his mid-section communication between his head and tail breaks off…?! I think it’s the being-on-the-leash thingy. They get all freaked out being restricted by that thing around their neck while at the same time trying to protect you?! Call me Caesar..

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  40. “Isn’t it funny how much time you waste feeling bad about someone you broke up with, when you’re just gonna get over them and feel fine about it eventually?”
    Can we go back in time so I can quote this statement to you … on a hundred different occasions?

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  41. A little dog help. This is really a common problem with dogs. It takes time and patience to train them otherwise. The idea is that you want to redirect her attention to you when other dogs come around and she is on a leash. I’m assuming that she barks at other dogs anytime she is on a leash. Everytime you are in that situation, ask her to sit and pay attention to you. If she is sitting and watching you, she can’t also lunge and bark at the other dog. It takes a lot of time and practice to get it right. Have a pocket full of treats so she is more interested in looking at you than trying to eat the other dog. hope it helps

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