June's stupid life

Ask Jailbird June

Ask June knows she is a day late and a dollar short with Ask June. She and Marvin were out hobnobbing with her coworkers all night, a night which culminated in Ask June getting ANOTHER TICKET. This would be Ask June's THIRD ticket in a year.

This one isn't Ask June's fault. It is Marvin's. And I know I sound like my Uncle Jim right now, who blames my Aunt Sue for everything ("I blame Sue"), but really, since we moved in together in 1997, he has taken care of all things car related, and I never give a thought to things like my tags on my license plate anymore. He is really efficient about that stuff too. Except THIS TIME, the time I get PULLED OVER for my tags being EXPIRED!

Don't these North Carolina policemen have anything better to do than pick on me? Ask June is just grateful that the strongest thing she drank all night was pink lemonade and not the concoction of 47 shots of tequila that some coworker suggested.

Let's pull over to Ask June and leave our thought of skyrocketing insurance premiums behind us, shall we?

On Ask June days, ask June not only likes to refer to herself in the third person, she also likes to put up some photo of something, lest anyone find Ask June boring. Then at least they can look at a picture. Today Ask June would have had nothing from current life to show you except her traffic ticket, so she decided to go into her photo closet, pull out any photo box and randomly draw any photo. Here is what she picked.

Hair

Ask June is sad that she set her camera to the time and "9," so that we do not know what year this charming perm entered Ask June's life. She assumes it was 1986-ish. Ask June is also jamming out to Ask June's outfit. She knows she in in her father's convertible, which was always great fun. Remind Ask June to tell you the ketchup packet story some day.

Let's catch up on our questions now. Elsie asks, "How does Marvin like his new job/school/students?"

I (because suddenly I am in the first person again) called Marvin in just now and asked him. He just scoffed and said, "Do you really want me to answer that?" I just told him I am typing everything he says. He is staring into the toaster. "You know that I always enjoy my students on an individual basis. But they are hard to deal with in groups sometimes. And I do like my school. And I enjoy teaching science because I get to do a lot of activities." (Marvin is now starting at Winston with his arms crossed.) "That's it."

Thank you, Marvin, for that enlightening response. Wish someone had asked how you liked renewing my license plate tabs. "I wish North Carolina had liked sending us a bill," Marvin just said when he read this. Whatever he's making in the toaster smells good.

Bev says, "Here's one totally unrelated to the others: What is the perception of Canada and/or Canadians where you live?" Bev went on to hope it doesn't involve sled dogs, igloos, or Queen Elizabeth.

Well, Bev, I grew up in Michigan, so traipsing over to Canada was pretty common. My parents and I went to Montreal, Quebec, and Toronto on vacations and the people were really sophisticated, I remember that. My people are French Canadian, so I am one of you. Supposedly, my French Canadian great great grandfather was the first person to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope. I have no idea if that is true or not.

Do you know what I think of when I think of Canadians? Michael Moore's movie Bowling for Columbine. Did anyone else see that? He went to Canada and randomly walked up to people's front doors, to show how no one locks their doors there. And it was true. He would lean in and shout, "Don't shoot me! Just checking if your front door was locked!" I haven't not locked my front door in my entire life. That movie made me want to move to Canada. So I guess my impression of Canadians is that they are peaceful and hearty. Cause come on, it's cold there.

What do you guys think of Canadians?

Oh, and since it's also Saturday, I will also award the coveted Comment of the Week, and I think it's no surprise to anyone that the award this week goes to my mother for her lovely "housecleaning" tip. Now you all know why I am so ladylike.

28 thoughts on “Ask Jailbird June

  1. Dang June, you’re HOT in that picture! Nods to Gladys.
    That’s so wrong that you didn’t get a re-newel notice or at least an email for your tags. I wonder if you can check into it to see if you were supposed to. Maybe you can get the ticket reversed.

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  2. I remember getting one of those tickets when I first moved to Greensboro. I didn’t have to pay it as long as I showed proof that I renewed it, so I was very relieved.
    Love the pic and the Special of the Week…you are your mother’s child. 🙂

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  3. Pat Benatar fan that I am thinks it goes “we are Strong, no one can tell us we’re Wrong….dadadada beLong…Love is a Battlefield”.
    But I always liked Painted Desert best.

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  4. I’m Canadian, and I always keep my doors tightly locked (I live about 1/2 hour from Toronto) — but when I lived in a small, Northern Ontario town I never did (I lived in Sault. Ste. Marie – June, did you ever visit there? I spent LOTS of time in Michigan, even went to Lake State!)
    Your post made me laugh that Canadians don’t lock their doors — I think Michael Moore was in Sarnia when he filmed that, I’m not sure if that town is indicative of all of Canada! Anyway, it made me wonder, why DO I keep myself so tightly locked up – no one ever tries to come in — except for our dog washer — he pulls up in the mobile dog wash truck, Rufus goes out to be groomed, and he always tries to just walk in when they are over, and the door is always locked! I always have thought that seems awfully presumptuous that just because you have my dog, you can walk right in, without knocking — am I wrong?

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  5. June, I’m jammin’ to your 80’s beat! Love the perm!It makes me want to go find a movie from the 80’s to watch with one of those undeniable bad 80’s film scores.
    Seeing you in the automobile brought back a memory. You were riding shotgun next to me in my Honda Civic, when all of a sudden two large beetles crawl simultaneously up the floorboard from under your seat. I’ll never forget your reaction…it was priceless! I can’t stop laughing just thinking about it.

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  6. On a serious note, I am glad to hear that you are not imbiding if you are taking the migraine meds. It’s important to always protect the liver, you know, because we all love your guts.

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  7. I agree wholeheartedly, WHOLEHEARTEDLY, with this weeks special of the week. Your momma had me rolling. However, I believe I was ROBBED since we didn’t have a special of the week last week because you were suffering from jet lag. I WAS ON FIRE LAST WEEK, FIRE!!!!!!!!!! I thought for sure I would win with my random knowledge of the royal toes and crowning you the “Duchess of Hair.” That is all. I am going back into my bitter barn.

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  8. p.s. Maybe GA is going green and will only mail you a tag renewal if you request it. They’d hate to waste all those resources if people would RATHER drive to the DMV and spend a couple hours. They were just trying to be accommodating.

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  9. Ask June answered my question!!! *Swoons*
    Truly, I cannot tell you how happy I was to see my question answered in the same post as June looking so fine. What a day!!
    We are indeed “peaceful and hearty” here. Though not cold…at least not where I am (it was 15C (59F) here yesterday). 🙂
    I actually do lock my doors…so if you come to visit, you won’t be able to stick your head in the door and holler. But if you knock, I’d let you in and break out the wine.

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  10. Bronwyn! Susanne! I just called my husband in here to explain why I suddenly started singing “Love is a Battlefield,” and he said “Hey, isn’t that Olivia Newton John?”
    June, love you, love your show. 🙂

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  11. Like you, Junie, we vacationed in Canada several times during my youth. I remember Quebec being very cosmopolitan and cool. I loved the old cathedrals and architecture in many places, too.
    I have actually also had several Canadian co-workers and find them to be smart, down-to-earth and very friendly.
    Aside from the ones who club seals, I like me some Canadians.

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  12. June. Probably! I never looked up the words, and was generally well into the bottom half of some horrible bottle of wine when that song was playing, so my senses might have been impaired. I’m sure most of the lyrics of the 80’s were lost on me…

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  13. I live in Canada, and I am sorry to dissolve that dream you have – I lock my door all the time. Unless I’m home, then I don’t really worry about it.
    My sister is the best thought. She is ultra paranoid about getting hijacked. We were driving downtown and all of a sudden she was all, “Oh my gosh my doors are unlocked!” She then proceeded to lock said doors and sigh, “That was a close one.” I’m sorry, a close one?!? I have NEVER heard of people getting hijacked while driving in our city. She also used to drive the half a block to the school she worked at in Small Town, Alberta if it was dark. I think she’s nuts.

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  14. Oh, and I think you are probably soulfully singing along to Pat Benatar, “We are YOUNG! No one can tell us we’re old!” in that picture.

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  15. I am from Canada. My parents live in Toronto. They rarely lock their front door. I live in Tampa. I lock my door if I’m leaving for the day, if I remember. So far, the only time I’ve had problems is when I have actually locked my door. One summer in Pennsylvania, when the doors were in fact locked, (we were renovating, and it just seemed wise) we had our house broken into 3 times by the same guy. So much for locking the door.

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  16. Oh, I too had a perm in the 80s(80’s?) Wonder where those photos are. But then, I was also thin and young in the 80s. Sadly, that has changed. But I still have great hair. That’s something, I guess.

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  17. When I first looked at the photo I thought, “Why does June have a random picture of Olivia Newton John in her photo closet?” Wow. You were cute.

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  18. June. You slay me! If Bowling in Columbine makes you want to move to Canada, Sicko will make you want to move to France, where the government does your laundry!

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  19. June are in in mid orgasam in that picture? Did you recieve the Magic Finger from Trojan? I’m really trying to figure out what your doing in this picture.

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  20. I can’t believe the State of North Carolina DID NOT send you a renewal notice!!!!!! I can assure you, the State of Georgia has those thing in your mail box two months before they are due. I really feel for both of you! Just remember, this too shall pass.
    I agree with the winner of the comment of the week! ROFL since yesterday.

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