Remember when poor Tallulah got fixed and had to wear the cone? It really has nothing to do with this post, I just saw the picture and felt bad for her all over again.
So, the computer guy at work hates me again. Remember a few months back when I turned everything on my screen upside down? And in case anyone wonders how I did it, push Control, Alt, and your down arrow at the same time. It doesn't work on everyone's computer, but it clearly works on my work computer. (Oh, and push Control, Alt, and the up arrow to fix it.)
Okay, so I did that, and that one was hard to live down. And have I mentioned EVERY computer guy from EVERY job I've ever had has hated me? Well, except in college I worked for the museum, and the computer guy there was my roommate Peter. And even though he liked me as a person, as opposed to liking me as a roly-poly bug, you could tell he wanted to stick the computer up my nethers a lot of times. I remember when I first started at the museum and he said, "We need to get you set up on a computer. What kind do you want?" and I said, "A pink kind."
See, it's stuff like that that makes the computer people hate me.
Because mechanical electric things are not my forte. I am just ON this computer all the time because I need to for work and also to blog. But all the ins and outs and things like there is supposed to be a difference between a Mac and a PC? Mean nothing to me.
So anyway, a few months ago, I made all the icons on my desktop teeny tiny, and the font for things teeny tiny too. It was like a desktop for Thumbelina.
And when I DO this stuff, I have no idea how I did it, and it takes not just our department computer guy, who is vaguely bemused by me, but the WHOLE COMPANY computer guy, who just hates every fiber of my being. I know he goes home and complains about me.
The thing I did yesterday was, I was typing along on the Internet when all of a sudden I noticed I had no little home icon at the top of my page. I was like Dorothy on The Wizard of Oz. I couldn't get home. I mean, it seems like these oddities only happen to me.
I called our department computer guy in, who always starts to kind of shake his head as soon as he sees me. After, oh, I don't know, an HOUR, he calls the guy who hates me, the big computer guy for the company.
"Yeah, Jim, I'm here in someone's office, and I can't get this person's home icon to come back up on her Google page."
I can tell he's trying desperately to play the pronoun game, to keep me safe. He answered a few questions, and finally said, "June." There was a pause. "June Gardens."
I could hear an "Oh, geez!" through the phone.
After, oh, another hour, they had to give me a whole new whatever, where I couldn't touch my computer because it was downloading files. Our department computer guy came in and told me he researched this online, and that sometimes the no-home-icon-thing just randomly happens to people.
When the computer guy for the whole company called to tell me my computer was back up, I relayed this info to him. "So there's every possibility this was not my fault," I informed him.
There was a pause.
"There's every possibility this was entirely your fault, June," he said.
Oh, how he hates me. Do you think I should tell him I don't know the difference between a Mac and a PC?