So, my Uncle Jim officially has cancer. It sucks, is what it does. If you knew my uncle, you would understand how bad it sucks. I mean, no one should get cancer. Why do people get cancer?
When he was going in for surgery, he told my Aunt Sue, "There's some money that I had hidden away. I want to tell you where it is."
"This is nonsense," said my Aunt Sue. "There's no reason to tell me where you've hidden any money. You're going to come out of surgery and go home and get the money yourself."
"Still, I want you to know where it is. It's $500. I was planning to spend it on our anniversary. I was going to get you something for $200, and me something for $300."
Really, every story about my Uncle Jim is like that, and yet you can't help but like him. We were all sitting around telling stories at the hospital, and he was telling about a time when he was young and working something like 80 hours a week. He was making a fortune, and he was about 21, so he thought this kind of money would last forever. He and my aunt bought a house, a truck, and a car. Then General Motors started cutting hours, and he was having trouble paying everything. A bill collector called about his truck.
"I just paid my house payment," my uncle explained. "I'll get the truck payment to you as soon as I can, but they cut my hours at work and things are tight."
Well, this didn't sit well with the bill collector, who gave my uncle a hard time. Uncle Jim started yelling at the bill collector as my Aunt Sue was coming though the door. "You come down here, then," my uncle said on the phone, "Come down here and just get it, and I'll kick your ass when you do!"
When he hung up, my aunt asked him, "Were you just talking to your mother?"
I just keep hoping this is some terrible nightmare, and that I am still making monkey faces on the plane ride here. I wish you could all know my Uncle Jim. Because he would yell and stomp around and say tasteless things, and you would just love him.
And to make matters worse, my cat Ruby died today. Marvin is waiting for me, and we are going to bury her in the back yard tomorrow when I get home.
My life is like a country song, isn't it?