Scientific Survey

Marvin's alarm goes off at 5:15, and he is one of those people who BOUNDS out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off.

My alarm goes off at 6:15. As soon as he hears my alarm go off, Marvin gets in the shower. Scientific survey question number one: How annoying is Marvin?

Scientific survey question number two: What is Marvin DOING between 5:15 a.m. and 6:15 a.m.? Is he plowing the fields? Baking bread? Going for a big jog? I see no evidence of any of these activities.

Stampeding to another topic, I read that people eat healthier if they have to photograph every single thing they eat. So for the next week, I am going to show you everything I eat. I won't, like, open my mouth and show you that way, or anything, I promise.

Here is the first photo, of my healthy, substantial breakfast:

Coffeeeeee

Black coffee. French Roast from Starbucks. How much detail do I have to go into about what I eat? And yes, that is a baby picture of me in the background. Nice hairdo.

Don't you love that coffee mug? My Aunt Mary sent it to me, and whenever I get to pick it that day from the shelf, I think, "Ooo! I get the good coffee mug!" She also sent me one in black, which gives me a similar thrill. I need to get out more.

All right, I must go face my day, fortified with such nutritious food. Please complete my survey.

50 thoughts on “Scientific Survey

  1. Marvin must be catching up on his TiVo’d Who documentaries. Anyone bounding out of bed at 5:30 is annoying, sorry Marvin.
    My breakfast is the same, although not in the festive mug…

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  2. I think it is great that he bounds out of bed. What I would find annoying is that when your alarm goes off he gets in the shower. That would bug me, to no end. Especially if he is like my hubby, and spends 20 minutes in there. Grrr.
    Is coffee your breakfast? Don’t you get the shakes?
    I would like to know what you are having for lunch, dinner, and any snacks you may be hiding in your desk….

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  3. If you set your alarm clock fifteen minutes earlier, would he get in the shower BEFORE you woke up? My hubby likes to sit on the bed and put on his shoes in the bounciest way possible when I am sleeping…grr!

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  4. It sounds like his just puttering around. I can’t for the life of me imagine why someone would wake up just to putter around when they could be getting some additional sleep, sweet wonderful sleep.
    Isn’t that a Christmas mug?

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  5. I meant to say, “…he is just puttering around…”
    I don’t normally comment for fear of type-os and now my worst fears have been realized. ::gasp::

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  6. I have your answer – this is from Marvin’s Facebook account from this morning
    “Marvin rated Classic Albums: Duran Duran: Rio 4 out of 5 stars.
    Posted 2 hours ago”

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  7. I don’t trust anyone who bounds anywhere, ever. I am more of a “what fresh hell is this” type of person. Not an optimist is what I’m saying.
    Did our husbands all go to the same Husband School? Mine also stays in the shower forever and does the bouncy bed/put on shoes dance. Not to mention they all majored in Spousal Remote Control, Hogging Of.
    As soon as I got to the photo, I said to myself, “Great Mug … awww, a picture of bitty June.” So thanks for validating both!
    (I had orange juice and Oreos for breakfast. While driving to work. And that sort of bad judgment does not need to be memorialized in photos!)

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  8. I love a sis in law that narks.
    I have the same breakfast and I often wonder why I don’t just throw out the coffee mugs that I don’t like – Hello, bright yellow Pedro’s South of the Border cup that screams “Wake up” when I’d really rather just bash that sombrero right off Pedro’s head and go back to my own siesta.

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  9. First, very annoying.
    Second, maybe you have one of those manual hot water heaters and he needs to get up an hour early to turn it on, and in all actuality he’s being nice by clearing it out of the cold water on top?????
    I’m trying to find some good in one who bounds out of bed at 5:15. There was a season in life I had to get up at that time, but there was no bounding.

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  10. I am enjoying my breakfast of champions right now… a cup of breakfast blend Starbuck’s, with some sugar and fat free 1/2 and 1/2. In my substantial San Diego Zoo mug that has panda bears on it.
    Why Delilah? I would have to cut Marvin for jumping into the shower when I am about to get up and get in there. Are you like me? I roll out of bed and drag my half dead arse to the shower where I slowly awaken and realize that yes, I have to tend to my family, even though I am still dreaming that I am sleeping somewhere warm.
    My husband does the “drawer banging, closet door slamming, coughing, bouncing on the bed” mambo every morning. I usually grit my teeth and try to ignore him but when the kids are on vacation and I could actually sleep in, I start devising ways to maim him in his sleep.

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  11. You HAVE to eat a better breakfast than that! How can you concentrate? Have some oatmeal with strawberries and pecans or something… In my thirties, I only ate jalepeno pimento cheese on crackers, but I drank a lot more until the wee hours of the morning then.
    My Huddie gets up at 4:30 every morning. I “sleep in” until 6. Did I mention that I am an artist who’s schedule is completely random? Who’s annoying now, huh?
    Eat something for the sake of St. Beatrice!

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  12. I’m going to give you a real answer, not a clever one…
    I think Marvin is one of those people who take a little while to wake up, and he realizes that he needs that time to rouse himself from grogginess, so he plans for it by setting his alarm to start easing him into consciousness an hour prior from actually needing to be out of bed. Now, if this interferes with your get-straight-out-of-bed-and-into-the-shower plans, I think y’all should talk. Otherwise, I can relate. My husband has to get up first, so I let his alarm wake me up. I turn on the tv to the news, and slowly my brain wakes up by the time he is finished with his shower. It works for us!

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  13. Do you have a gut made of stainless steel? How can you drink black coffee sans food and not be a wreck? I must have food in the morning. Eating is the first thing I do in the morning. Well, usually I pee first. Then I wash my hands. THEN I eat breakfast. So, I guess it is the third thing I do in the morning.

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  14. I can’teven begin to guess what he’s doing, unles it’s feeding the animals or cleaning up any collateral damage they did in thenight, but what he SHOULD be doing is making you fabulous gourmet breakfasts. Apparently he has the time. Then you might bound out of bed.
    You baby picture is super cute. You kind of looked like little Suri. I think all baby hairdos are cute–except when they’ve been slicked down or have irregular bald spots or weird flat spots, or the freaking BABY has pierced ears–which I think is the ultimate of stupid things to do to a kid, for crying out loud.
    How’s Jim?

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  15. I like to start my morning with a pat on the back for being such a good girl. Soooo, You know how they say we need 42 servings of fruits and veggies per day? Well, I make a smoothie with OJ, blueberries, banana, raw eggs (my Dr. said they are ok)(you can’t tell they are in there, honest…3 for a full blender to serve you and 1-2 others) and sometimes when I am feeling superior to all others, I put in a good shot of plain kefir to replenish all my gut flora. It tastes WONDERFUL and gives you a good zip in your step PLUS, you got about 5 servings of fruits!! Take your calcium and vitamins at the same time and you can walk around with a smug look on your face all day!
    Blessings- LillySue
    P.S. Hubby works at home and doesn’t get outa bed till his phone is ringing….14 year old son reigns as the head noisy morning person!
    I think you should bound outa bed and race him for the shower.

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  16. On the annoying scale, I’d say that’s maybe a five. It would be much higher if he got in the shower before your alarm went off.
    5:15 and 6:15am…hmmmmm. Well, clearly he is spending that hour deep in thought over the global economic situation. Please let me know when he solves it. Thank you.

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  17. I’ll tell you what he is doing. He is sipping coffee and watching coin auctions on eBay and reading about the Chicago Bears on their website and arguing about politics with strangers on message boards, and then your alarm reminds him that, whoops, he’s lost track of time and needs to get ready. Or perhaps that would be my husband.

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  18. First. Marvin is VERY annoying. I hate people who can spring out of bed. I love my bed and want to stay there as long as possible.
    Second. Ask him.
    Love a good mug. Makes me happy too!

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  19. #1 – That’s most annoying.
    #2 – I’m sure it has something to do with a documentary of some obscure rock band or some such nonsense!
    #3 – As I was trotting to the bathroom yesterday morning (as we all sometimes do), I ruptured the plantaris muscle in my calf. Heard a big “POP” and then then pain…
    #4 – Getting old sucks.

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  20. 1) he is either totally annoying or really considerate (not making shower noise until after your alarm)
    2) my boyfriend gets up before me….it is his *private* *personal* computer time….My advice to you is NEVER get up early. There are just some things that you don’t want to see first thing in the morning.

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  21. So let’s perform an experiment. Set your clocks one hour earlier and see what happens. Then change them by 30 minute increments up and down. I bet he would still bound out of bed like one of Pavlov’s dogs panting and salivating.

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  22. My hubby is pretty considerate in the morning, but at night … I will already be in our bathroom washing my face, brushing my teeth, etc., and he will pass up the other TWO bathrooms to come into OUR bathroom to take a whiz right by my head in the sink. He can’t understand why I run screaming from the room. I guess I should be thankful it isn’t #2!

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  23. 2. He’s planning his next move on how to annoy you first thing in the morning. Problem is, he’s very unoriginal.
    1. Less annoying if you were to set your alarm 15 minutes later without telling him so that he’s out of the shower by the time you get up, thereby ruining his intial plan to annoy you.

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  24. Totally annoying, but I’m sure he thinks he’s being considerate by not waking you with the shower. My husband used to do this when we both had to get ready for work at the same time. Super annoying!! Now, he thinks he’s being quiet while he stomps around on the hardwoods in his shoes, and opens and closes every drawer in the dresser 5 times – except for the last one, which he leaves open a little bit – every day.
    I think Marvin spends the time eating cereal and watching Golf Channel or Sportscenter (if he’s so inclined – I’m still a new reader). That’s what my husband did.
    Also, he had the nerve to get mad at me recently for turning on the bedroom light 30 seconds after he went to bed, so that I could find my pajamas. Seriously! He wasn’t asleep yet!

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  25. Do you think that men do annoying things without realizing that they do them? Is it passive-aggressive behavior? Is Marvin angry about something, and displaying it this way? I mean, please, enlighten me.
    On a very different note, I, too, have been sending out positive thoughts for your uncle. His outrageous words are a gift to the world. C’mon.

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  26. Do you think that men do annoying things without realizing that they do them? Is it passive-aggressive behavior? Is Marvin angry about something, and displaying it this way? I mean, please, enlighten me.
    On a very different note, I, too, have been sending out positive thoughts for your uncle. His outrageous words are a gift to the world. C’mon.

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  27. Do you think that men do annoying things without realizing that they do them? Is it passive-aggressive behavior? Is Marvin angry about something, and displaying it this way? I mean, please, enlighten me.
    On a very different note, I, too, have been sending out positive thoughts for your uncle. His outrageous words are a gift to the world. C’mon.

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  28. Oh June. I’m so sorry about your Uncle Jim. And Ruby. I haven’t been lurking around here in a few days and just caught up on posts. So sad.
    On a lighter note, I think we should all guess what Marvin does for AN HOUR every morning. My guess is that he is learning a foreign language. OH NO WAIT! He is really CIA. And he has conferences with headquarters from 5:15-6:15, before the civilian wakes up.

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  29. Answer to query #1 – I don’t find him annoying at all; I am just a faithful reader though, and not a housemate. I think the Who documentaries would drive me insane.
    Answer to query #2 – He’s playing Texas Hold ’em Poker online. (My husband is addicted to the Pogo version).

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  30. That would anoy me to no end–the BOUNDING out of bed. That’s disguisting, coming from a NOT morning person! Try setting your clock half an hour early to see if he gets in the shower and it will give you an extra 30 minutes to take a quick cat nap before having to get up. My husband still gets up at ungodly early hours, not me, I told him when we retired I never intended to see 5:00 a.m. again!
    That’s all you have for breakfast?! I wouldn’t make it to lunch. We usually have hot oatmeal with some fruit and a few almonds. Oh yeah, we do have coffee as well.

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  31. I know what Marvin is doing, but am sworn to keep it a secret. Suffice it to say, it involves a raccoon and whipped cream from a can. I have seen his file at the SPCA!

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  32. After reading all of these posts I am thrilled to say I am single and do not have to deal with the drawer slamming, bouncy shoe putting on or waiting for the shower thing anymore. Love, love, love it!
    Second, for all of those who have a mate sitting on the bed whilst putting on shoes, I humbly suggest that you get a chair and install it either in the bedroom or as far away from the bedroom as possible, as well as the shoes.
    Problem solved!
    Moo

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  33. 1) Yes, he’s very annoying
    2) Lillyann is second most annoying (I mean really, who has the energy and time to cut up all that damned fruit for a stupid smoothie in the morning?)
    3) In case you can’t tell, I HATE MORNINGS! I set my alarm for 6:15 so that I will be up b 7:00a (I don’t wake up easily). Then I stumble to the kitchen and grab cup of coffee and take another 45 minutes to wake up. My husband gets up before I do and creeps quietly out of the room so that he doesn’t have to face the evilness that is me. My sister tells people that when my parents wanted to punish her, they’d send her to wake me. I’m only slightly nicer now.
    4) I’m with ou, June. I can’t eat anything until about 10:00a. But I MUST have my coffee.
    5) I think he’s hogging the computer until you get up.

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  34. Aww…baby June..how cute! I think i’ve seen that photo before. I remember seeing a few adorable little June photos before.
    Baby June?, kind of sounds like Baby Jane. If your stepsister were to become a big star in the proofreading world, you could go mad in a fit of jealousy and hold her hostage in an upstairs bedroom.
    I picked up Slumdog Millionaire today on your recommendation…. Jai Ho!

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  35. I think Marvin and my husband are secretly having an affair. As apposed to an unsecret affair. WTF. He does the exact same thing. What the sam hill is he DOING for an hour???? REALLY????????
    Also? How high did you score on the Narcisist test? Baby pictures of oneself on your own desk?

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  36. I am not a morning person. I’m seriously thinking of having that engraved on my headstone.
    My husband works 7-7 shifts either am or pm. He has over an hour commute to work. When he’s on the am shift his alarm goes off at 4 and he does everything Jan’s hubby does. Then he closes the door, goes and lets the 2 dogs out who let out the cry of the banchee and makes it their job at 4am to wake up the entire neighborhood. Then he makes coffee. Then just as I”m about to fall back asleep he comes back in the room, yells at the dogs not to “jump on mama”, kisses me on the forehead, tells me he fed the dogs and made the coffee and “have a nice day”. Right, fat chance of that…

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  37. #1 – My husband is also a “bounder.” And he also gets in the shower when my alarm goes off except he adds the question “Are you gonna take a shower?” like I haven’t gotten up and taken one every morning for the last 18 years we’ve been married.
    #2 – Perhaps he is making a run to Sonic for a Route 44 Diet Coke and Breakfast Burrito and then surfing the Web? Oh, wait…that’s my husband.

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  38. OH MY GOD… Gladys’ suggestion is awesome.
    Does it not make you want to strangle Marvin when he’s hopping in the shower at the moment when you are headed that way? Or maybe you shower the night before and his showering isn’t the most annoying thing he does.
    Maybe he’s like my husband who could logistically get out of bed and be headed to work within 12 minutes, but chooses to spend an hour watching news, reading emails and buffing his bald head.

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