Oh! And today is my TinyTown friend’s birthday! Shout out to Lucy!

It is whatever morning it is — is it Thursday already? Or is it Wednesday? I can't keep track. Anyway, I have a cold that I got from my stepfather when I was in Michigan. I would personally like to THANK my stepfather for the COLD. THANKS, Harry.

Also too, many of you wrote to ask about what I did on my holiday yesterday, seeing as April Fool's Day is my favorite holiday. But you know, I really was too sad for it this year. Marvin did start out the day by going in the back yard and pretending the gate was open and that Tallulah had run away.

Why do people try to mess with the master? When he ran into the house with his arms flailing, all dramatic, saying, "The gate was open! Tallulah's gone!" I said, "What would have been better is if you'd said Tallulah was back there digging up the dead cat."

"Oh yeah," he agreed. "That WOULD have been better."

When I got to work, one of my oldest friends emailed me and tried to fool me and I emailed her back to tell her she hadn't fooled me in the slightest.

Again. You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't spin it into the wind.

The only thing I did all day was call my mother and tell her Tallulah was pregnant, which she fell for, which is astonishing for 800 reasons. First, I have not managed to fool my mother since 1473. I have been April fooling her since birth, not to mention my germy stepfather WARNS her every year, a thing I would like to similarly thank him for. Could I just have my fun, Harry, without you WARNING her like some kind of siren or lighthouse or foghorn or some other warning device that I can't think of right now?

Plus also too, Tallulah is FIXED, and the only place she could get pregnant is dog day care, and everyone at dog day care has to be fixed or you can't GO to dog day care, so really, mom falling for this was pretty special. But she is as distracted as I am, so really my fooling her was just mean.

Oh, but wouldn't it be exciting if she somehow got knocked up and I had a slew of puppies? Tallulah, I mean. Not mom. That would be my dream. Marvin couldn't even get mad at me, because I would have TRIED to not have puppies, and yet there they'd be.

Anyway, I got the battery back in my camera and we are back to the nutritious black coffee. And look! I got the good mug again!

CoffeeluSomeone asked if this wasn't a Christmas mug, and you know, now that I notice it has poinsettias and stars and a reindeer, yeah. I guess it IS a Christmas cup. But can't it be kind of not a Christmas cup, as well? I mean, it took me till now to notice it was Christmas, so maybe I can get away with it for the rest of the year. Besides, who's gonna come over and see it, I mean, other than all of you, cyberly?

And aren't you glad Tallulah is on constant watch? Don't even THINK of walking past this house, unless you want a good barking at. She's expecting, you know. Makes her cranky.

35 thoughts on “Oh! And today is my TinyTown friend’s birthday! Shout out to Lucy!

  1. ok… really? are the words “you don’t spin it into the wind”?
    because, for my whole life, i have been singing “you don’t spit into the wind” … and even if you ARE right, and those ARE the words, i can’t stand it. they shouldn’t be.
    anyway. i say ROCK THE CHRISTMAS CUP ALL YEAR. who gives a flip – it makes you happy!

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  2. I think it’s “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t SPIT into the wind”. Unless you don’t want to spin – because there’s a tornado or something.
    I haven’t had my coffee yet.

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  3. I’m so sorry you’re sick. Getting sick right at the start of spring is a real downer.
    It’s my birthday too! Should I thank your stepfather for the dreary wet weather? I foolishly straightened my hair today, but now people are going to think I teased it for my special day. ::sigh::

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  4. Of COURSE it’s “You don’t spit into the wind.” What’s sad is I made this same error about 15 years ago, when I lived with Faithful Reader Master Instructor Susan Harris. You can imagine how annoying it was living with someone with such a long name. Anyway, she made fun of me for weeks for getting the lyrics wrong, and who forgot them all over again today until you all pointed it out? Why would you spin the cape into the wind? It makes no sense.

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  5. After reading the other comments I can’t think of anything to say about your post, I can only think of lyrics to songs that people were wrong about. Like my husband thought “Secret Agent Man” was “Secret Asian Man”. Granted we were in college and that was 20 years ago, but it still makes me laugh. Like there was a man hiding in a closet pretending to be Chinese?

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  6. “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim”
    (As recorded by Jim Croce)
    JIM CROCE
    Uptown got its hustlers
    The bowery got its bums
    Forty Second Street got Big Jim Walker
    He a pool shootin’ son of a gun
    Yeah he big and dumb as a man can come
    But he’s stronger than a country hoss
    And when the bad folks all get together at night
    You know they all call Big Jim boss, just because
    And they say you don’t tug on Superman’s cape
    You don’t spit into the wind
    You don’t pull the mask off an ‘ole Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Jim
    Well outa South Alabama come a country boy
    He said I’m lookin’ for a man named Jim
    I am a pool shootin’ boy, my name is Willie McCoy
    But down home they call me Slim
    Yeah I’m lookin’ for the king of Forty Second Street
    He drive an old drop-top Cadillac
    And last week he took all my money, and it may sound funny
    But I’ve come to get my money back
    And everybody say Jack, ooh don’t you know
    That you don’t tug on Superman’s cape
    You don’t spit into the wind
    You don’t pull the mask off an ‘ole Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Jim
    Well a hush fell over the pool room
    And Jimmy come boppin’ in off the street
    And when the cuttin’ was done
    The only part that wasn’t bloody was the soles of
    The big man’s feet, woah
    Yeah he were cut in ’bout a hundred places
    And he was shot in a couple more
    And you better believe they sung a different kind of story
    When a Big Jim hit the floor, aw
    Now they say you don’t tug on Superman’s cape
    You don’t spit into the wind
    You don’t pull the mask off an ‘ole Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Slim
    (Spoken)
    Yeah Big Jim got his hat, find out where it’s at
    And it’s not hustling people strange to you
    Even if do got a two piece custom made pool cue…yea
    Now they say you don’t tug on Superman’s cape
    You don’t spit into the wind
    You don’t pull the mask off an ‘ole Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Slim.

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  7. I recently discovered I was wrong on the lyrics of a song I have heard all my life. It’s Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again.”
    I had this theory that he was on the road because he couldn’t stand to be home with his cheating wife. Where did I get this theory? By messing up the lyrics. I thought this one line said “the wife I love is making music with my friends…” and that’s why he was so eager to get a gig and get on the road to get away from these back-stabbing cheaters. It actually says “the LIFE I love is making music with my friends.”
    Now the song is ruined for me.
    I might as well spin into the wind.

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  8. Well, since you documented her hysterectomy right here on your blog, none of us would have fallen for that kind of tomfoolery. Meanwhile I did the ctrl alt down thing to my boss (he knew it was me, but it was funny anyway). My husband got me by coming into the bathroom at 630 am and telling me that my sister was there for some reason, waiting for me in the living room and I needed to get out of the shower and find out what she wanted (which of course made me think that someone had died and she couldn’t possibly break the news to me over the phone). But I did get him back. I had our daycare lady call him and tell him that I never showed up to pick up our kids. Bwahahaha.
    Also, too, I thought it was spit into the wind…..

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  9. and now we’re all going to discuss song lyrics we’ve gotten wrong… mine would be the song Party Up (Up in Here) by DMX.
    you know the part that goes:
    Y’all gone make me lose my mind
    Up in here, up in here
    Y’all gone make me go all out
    Up in here, up in here
    Y’all gone make me act a fool
    Up in here, up in here
    Y’all gone make me lose my cool
    Up in here, up in here
    Well, replace ‘up in here’ with ‘pumping gas’ and sing that in front of your little sister who knows rap music so much better than you and YOU will be ‘act a fool’. Whatever that means.

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  10. I like how you get very excited about which mug you get, as if it’s something completely out of your control. Do you have to thumb-wrestle Marvin for it every morning?

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  11. Dear 17,
    I have to take whichever cup is at the front of the cupboard. If I saw the good mug way at the back, and I reached back there and got it, I’d feel like I was cheating. Doesn’t everybody feel like that?

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  12. I guess I’m a cheater then. There are lots of cups/glasses that I won’t ever use, but the husband prefers.
    Secret Asian Man is cracking me up.

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  13. Oh darn, I forgot what I was going to post in the first place. I got tricked 2-1/2 times yesterday. About 10 minutes after I got to work, someone told me I left my headlights on… and of course I believed it. Who would lie about that? Then my husband made this big fuss about me leaving work to pick him up (we carpool) when really he had got a ride home and was calling me from home, not work. Harharhar. My 19 year old sister called and was trying to tell me that she was getting married at the courthouse (which I did when I was 18), which I did not believe because it was April Fools Day. She wouldn’t ever admit she was kidding… but as far as I know she’s still single today. I guess I should check up on that.

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  14. See, my personal April Fool’s etiquette is that once someone says, “Oh, this is an April Fool!” that it’s over at that point. You don’t keep going with the joke. Also? You don’t try to get them at any other point that day. I get really irritated when people do not know my rules, which I have made up in my head and never announced until now.

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  15. har har the misconstrued lyrics are killin’ me…Secret Asian Man reminds me of a church I once visited where the song leader was impossibly stiff and robotic…I dubbed him Plastic Christian Man to the tune of aforementioned Secret Agent Man…heeee…I’m so funny.

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  16. April Fool’s day is my signature holiday. This year when I sent my daily personnel reports, I changed the font to Wingdings. I sent the “real” reports a little later, because I didn’t want to waste time of the person they went to.
    So sorry you’re sick!

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  17. June sorry your sick. Chicken soup for lunch for you.
    Talulah better not be pregnant! I mean especially since she has been to the planned parenthood classes and all, not to mention had a hystroid-ectomy. Although pregnancy would explain her craving for the written and printed word.
    My misunderstood lyrics??? Hum that would be Annie Lennox “Walking on broken grass.”

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  18. I ALWAYS DIG for the good cups!!
    My son won the April Fools contest yesterday although my daughter actually thought it up…My husband works from home and was expecting a large box from FedEx. We also have a big window in our front door so you can see said big box if and when it were to arrive since FedEx man just drops and runs. SOooo. Son gets big box from garage and climbs in and closes lid after knocking on door. Daughter shouts out to Daddy…Someones at the door Dad!! Dad comes around the corner and sees expected big box on porch (Thru the window). Opens door just knowing FedEx man has just left it. Starts to reach for box and Son jumps screaming out of the top…..Husband has to go change undies…..Kachow!!
    Blessings~LillySue

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  19. oh, and. i forgot to prank anyone this year. actually, the last april fool’s prank i pulled was in high school, when i asked my friend alison if she could take me to rite-aid to pick up a pregnancy test after school. the prank went over a little TOO well, and the backlash from that scarred me.
    yesterday, the radio station in my office building advertised that justin timberlake was in town scoping out a new music video spot, and was holding auditions on the second floor. i knew in my heart that it was a prank, but i had to march up there anyway and demand to see him with my very own eyes if it wasn’t a prank.
    they couldn’t produce him.
    at least i wasn’t one of the girls who showed up to an office park in the middle of the day in “club wear” to audition for the video. heehee.

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  20. I must remind everyone again of the Hairless Whiskers. It’s cold and rainy and I’m bored. Oh, George Michael called, he said he hopes you feel better soon, June, you loon. So you can go ride his pontoon in June. (that sounded bad)

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  21. Bwahahahah, cheating the coffee mug dispenser? You SO funny! Mildly OCD, but funny. I purposely put my pretty red coffee mug in the FRONT OF THE CUPBOARD where I won’t have to reach for it. If anybody else uses my pretty red coffee cup, they will be decapitated.
    April 1st is my birthday too (whomever commented… I’ve forgotten who it was)!! I was afraid that when I called my dad crying that the ceiling in my kitchen had filled with bath water from the 2nd story bathroom and came down in the night… I thought for sure he’d think I was foolin’. I was not. I needed my pretty red coffee cup that morning!

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  22. Mis-heard lyrics for me: I somehow heard England Dan and John Ford Coley singing “I’m not talking about millenium” instead of “I’m not talking about moving in” when they really wanted to see me tonight.
    And my coffee mugs always go on the same hooks in the cabinet, and if either of my two favorites are not in the dishwasher, they get grabbed first. It drives me crazy when dh “helps” me by emptying the dishwasher, because my mugs are not in their proper place.
    Congratulations on Lulu’s immaculate conception.

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