I thought my cat Francis and I could sort of team up today for Ask June. Didn't Ann Landers team up with one of her daughters toward the end, there, when she was gettin' old?
Em-Cat, who is sort of appropriately named, given today's special Ask June theme, wonders, "When is it appropriate to use 'people' and when is it appropriate to use 'persons' or are they interchangeable?"
Francis says, "YOU REAL CAT? IF YOU REAL CAT, HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! GET OUT! OUT MY HOUSE NOW!!!!!! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
It's okay, Francis. Em-Cat isn't really here, and I don't think she is really a cat. Cats can't blog. Well, you are blogging. But you are special, Fran.
At any rate, Em-Cat, obviously "people" and "persons" both mean groups of humans, and both words go way back, having Latin roots. There are no hard-and-fast rules about use of the words, and they are basically interchangeable, but generally, "persons" is used more formally, as in "Persons coming into our home disguised as cats will be hissed at by Francis."
Faithful Reader Jan asks, "Ten years later, if you could change anything about your wedding, what would it be?"
Francis says, "WHY I NOT AT WEDDING? WAS FISH TO EAT?"
I say, really, I would change nothing. Maybe I wouldn't have had acrylic French manicured nails. But at the time they were the shizzle. As was the phrase "the shizzle."
I liked my wedding, despite this charming look I had going.
Hey, when I just went into my wedding pictures to get this flattering shot, I found the coolest photo of my grandparents. Wanna see? I cannot begin to tell you how much my grandfather looks like my Uncle Jim.
Speaking of husbands, Arlene asks, "June, would you please tell us a story about parrots and Marvin and bronchitis?"
And I didn't say "speaking of husbands" because I am married to Arlene. Wouldn't that be a bombshell! Arlene asks this rather bizarre question because weeks ago I said remind me to tell you the story of the time Marvin had bronchitis and I saw the parrots.
So, we used to live in Burbank, California. The story was that years back someone had let their pet parrots go and that it was just warm enough in Pasadena that the parrots had survived and mated and created a small parrot colony right there in Pasadena. I have no idea if that is true.
Burbank was about 15 miles away from Pasadena.
Anyway, it was early one morning and Marvin was home ill with bronchitis. He was sick and he was not happy about it. He was not being a trouper, is what he wasn't being. I was getting ready for work and I heard some odd bird noises in the back yard, so I went back there. I stood really still and quiet for a while and I finally figured out I was hearing parrots!
Now, for me, this is the equivalent of you seeing a unicorn or something. I was so excited to see parrots. I figured out what direction they were in, and I could tell they were getting nearer. I also decided I'd better get to the front yard, because it seemed like they were headed that way.
I ran to the front, and seriously, you'd have thought I was getting ready for a Loch Ness Monster sighting, so excited was I to have parrots fly over me. Then? They were coming toward me! I could see them in the distance! They were green! If I stood there, they'd fly right over me! I waited, waited, they were on their way, and–
"What are you DOING!?" Marvin said, throwing open the door, Nyquil in his hand, wearing his pajamas.
The birds, startled, flew the opposite direction.
I have never been so annoyed with Marvin. I was SECONDS from those parrots flying RIGHT OVER ME, like TWENTY FEET above me. If he'd have just NOT NEEDED TO KNOW, like Gladys Kravitz, what I was DOING, I'd have had the experience of a lifetime. He is just lucky that Nyquil did not end up out his bung, is what I am telling you. Oh, I was mad.
Francis says, "PARROT TASTY. SERVE PARROT AT WEDDING?"
I guess Francis kind of has a one-track mind.
That sums up Ask June and her cat for this week. The not-sick Marvin and I are going out to dinner now, for some grilled parrot and Nyquil cocktails. Remember to Ask June here.