Contrary to popular opinion, I did not get an Easter kitty yesterday. I did go to the animal shelter and have a look-see, but I saw a cat who looked exactly like Ruby and then I got sad and went home. I guess it is too soon.
But if you are considering adopting a cat, let me tell you the shelters are full, FULL, of adult cats and also kittens due to the economy. If you do not know how to select a cat, email me and I will tell you my tricks for picking a not-nuts cat from a shelter. I got Winston when he was a grownup cat, and he is really a stupendous creature. You could not ask for a better cat, seriously.
Okay. I have many things to cover for you.
First of all, it is Saturday and therefore Comment of the Week time, and I do not have to tell you that poor KW is our commenter. I was bored at work earlier this week and I asked everyone to write in their embarrassing tales and KW's will give you douche chills. So harrowing was KW's tale, in fact, that I have contacted her, gotten her address, and bought her a special consolation prize, below.
It's not every week that the commenter of the week gets a 12-pack of toilet tissue, but it's not every week the commenter of the week soils herself, either.
I know you will click over to Special of the Week, there, on the right to read the whole thing, but in essence, poor KW pooped herself when she was first dating her now-husband. And that is why I am awarding KW the tower of toilet tissue, the same tower of tissue type I purchased for myself the night I kept thinking "big poop fest" at Target and giving myself the giggles.
In other news, several of you wondered what the heck monkey grass was and why I keep cutting it, so here it is:
Oh, isn't it scroungy and dreadful? I literally have about 50 of these in my front yard. Today I went to Home Depot and and got giant wackers, which sounds kind of dirty. As I type this, my arms are shaking. I am not even halfway through.
Despite horrid monkey grass, the South in springtime is a sight to behold. My next-door neighbor has somehow merged a pink tree and a white tree and they are blooming right now:
Isn't it lovely? Isn't it won-der-ful? Isn't it precious? Okay, I will stop being Stevie Wonder, if you even noticed I was being Stevie Wonder.
Also too, the lady across the street has all these bushes that are flowering, as well. I saw her today, the lady across the street, filling her trunk with Easter lilies. I figured she either really, really hates lilies and is trying to smother them, or she was going to some sort of church-related thing. And seeing as she was an elderly woman and this is the South on Easter weekend, my money is on the church-related activity.
So pretty! So colorful! So full of pollen that renders me cough-y!
You know I have to make best friends with this lady. I had no idea I even had an elderly neighbor. You know how I get about old people. Maybe I will write her a little note telling her how much I love her yard, and how much I too enjoy smothering lilies in my trunk.
I was also going to do Ask June today, because I didn't do it yesterday, but SERIOUSLY my arms are shaking like crazy. I will do a special Easter Ask June tomorrow. I'd better not hear a peep put of you about it! Get it? A peep? Easter? Oh, the hilarity.