Ask June · Faithful Readers · June's stupid life

Ask June 612: The Revenge of Michael Meyers

Can you tell I am running out of things to call Ask June? I mean, every Friday I am supposed to come up with a new name for Ask June. Does anyone have any good ideas? And speaking of good ideas, let's spray it and not say it. Who won the Love's Baby Soft giveaway,… Continue reading Ask June 612: The Revenge of Michael Meyers

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Once upon a time, there was one little girl who went to the blog academy

In honor of my Love's Baby Soft giveaway, I Farrah-d my hair. What do you think? And by the way, I lied. What I have is a duo, not a trio, of Love's products to give away. I was hallucinating. And because I feel so bad about this, I will go to Walgreen's and get… Continue reading Once upon a time, there was one little girl who went to the blog academy

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

June does a giveaway

Since so many people mentioned it in yesterday's '70s post, I am inspired. I have this little zipper bag of brand-new Love's perfumes, including a bottle of Love's Baby Soft. I do not know why I have them; I think Marvin gave them to me as a joke earlier this year. The other two perfumes… Continue reading June does a giveaway

June's stupid life · My pets

Nads

Day before yesterday, Henry got fixed. Not that he was broken, I was just trying to avoid any little Henrys, if you can imagine anything littler than Henry. I know you may be thinking, How can he possibly be big enough to be getting fixed already? Or maybe you're thinking, Geez Louise, is she really… Continue reading Nads

June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Staying obsessed is nicer with a little Tickle

Remember Tickle deodorant? It was the deodorant of the '70s. I think it was exclusively aimed at teenage girls, much like Virginia Slims, Daisy shavers, and wine coolers. I totally had the Daisy shavers too. Well, and the Virginia Slims a few times. This old neighbor girl, who just found me on Facebook, told me… Continue reading Staying obsessed is nicer with a little Tickle

June's stupid life · Los Angeles · Photo essays

June’s Garden

Don't you just want to kiss his fat tum? As you may know, the house we live in now is the first house we have ever owned. That is because before this, we lived in Los Angeles, where the average price for a home is 95 billion dollars. Because I was always a renter I… Continue reading June’s Garden

Family · June's stupid life

Happy birthday, Cluck

I just looked at the calendar and realized it's my grandfather's birthday. He'd be 89 today. I have these great pictures from his birthday 17 years ago, which, hello. It totally doesn't feel like 17 years ago. It feels like five years ago. Why does time move faster once you're old? Part of my job… Continue reading Happy birthday, Cluck

Faithful Readers · Friends · June's stupid life

Aysheville

Today, Marvin and I went to Asheville to spend the day with my old friend Paula. Paula does not live in Asheville. She lives in Seattle. In fact, she was my housemate in Seattle. It is safe to say she was one of my closest friends in Seattle. We not only lived together, we worked… Continue reading Aysheville

Ask June · June's stupid life

Bug June with your queries

Ask June is just joshing you with her title. She likes your Ask June Questions. You know what she was thinking? She was thinking maybe you could ask some personal-woe types of questions. Do you have any relationship issues, money concerns, or work troubles you wish you share with the world? Go ahead, Ask June.… Continue reading Bug June with your queries

Faithful Readers · June's stupid life · Times I Amused My Own Self

Tee, there is a snake in this story.

I have so many pressing and important things to tell you that I don't even know where to begin. Should I talk about the crow and the snake, or Melanie and Totie Fields? If you are my Facebook friend, you already heard about the crow and the snake. Okay, I will start with that, and… Continue reading Tee, there is a snake in this story.

Food and Drink · June's stupid life

Nutrition information

Let me ask you something. If, for lunch, you went to the salad bar at the grocery store and made you a nice salad of spinach, strawberries, carrots, broccoli and low-fat salad dressing, but then on the way out of the store you bought a huge tub of chocolate-dipped macaroons, have you totally negated the… Continue reading Nutrition information

Family · June's stupid life

Really wish I could get For the Benefit of Mr. Kite out of my head

First of all, a few people asked where they can contribute to the fund to help my Uncle Jim, and that is so nice I could just spit. Which is a lovely, feminine reaction on my part. Here is where to send a check. BE SURE TO SAY IT'S FOR JIM BLONDIN. Otherwise, you are… Continue reading Really wish I could get For the Benefit of Mr. Kite out of my head

Faithful Readers · June's stupid life

The results of your analysis

This out-of-focus shot of Henry and Tallulah and my shrouded legs must serve as our obligatory Henry shot for the day, as it was the only picture I got before the camera went dead and Muffin Muffin Muffin Muffin Muffin Muffin recharged it. What if this is your first time tuning in to this blog?… Continue reading The results of your analysis

June's stupid life · Marvin

Muffin muffin muffin muffin

Marvin won't answer me. I hear him in the bedroom, getting ready, but he is REFUSING to acknowledge that he hears me in here. I need to know if the camera is charged up so I can give you obligatory Henry picture. "Muffin?" I am shouting, over the coffee maker and Brad and Britt, the… Continue reading Muffin muffin muffin muffin

June's stupid life · Photo essays

My ridiculous day, by June Gardens. Or, Lucy in Sky with Diamonds.

Yesterday, I went to the farmer's market. I am seriously the only person you know who goes to the farmer's market to buy processed food. I bought cookies, little snack crackers, honey. I guess honey isn't processed. I mean, it is, but by bees. That doesn't count, right? Now, why didn't the other June tell… Continue reading My ridiculous day, by June Gardens. Or, Lucy in Sky with Diamonds.

Ask June · June's stupid life

Ask June, Part 972

Our neighbor, Peg, bought this little toy for Henry, and could he be more obsessed with it? It's nice, though, because I have been afraid to buy him little mice or balls, lest they end up in Tallulah's gullet. Since I was busy depressing myself with poor Farrah's special last night, let's bop over to… Continue reading Ask June, Part 972

Drag Queen envy · June's stupid life

I forgot one of the things I was gonna say earlier

Also, on Dooce's blog yesterday or the day before--I don't know when it was. Recently, okay?--she showed pictures of her bathroom remodel and oh! It is so ugly. So people commented, and you know Dooce gets 500 comments on a bad day, and everyone commented about how ugly it was, except for a few people… Continue reading I forgot one of the things I was gonna say earlier