Gone fishin.’ And it’s important to not say “ing.”

I had just a lovely day, which included fishing, something you don't hear me say every day. Now it is evening and I am waiting for Marvin to come back with burritos, which by the way irks me, because I called him at 6:00 to say I'm done fishing what's for dinner, and he said aren't we having fish and I said ha-haa in that way you say when something isn't funny, and he said, how about burritos? and I said good choice, go get them, I will be home in 50 minutes.

Then I came home at 6:50 and he said, "That was fast" and right away I was irked.

Anyway, at work I got sent to the basement, which isn't even really the basement, it is just the ground floor, but we all work on the second floor–don't ask me why–and it is cool and dark down there on the first floor and we go there when there's a tornado warning so I think of it as the basement. Anyway, I had to go down there to find every single newsletter we have ever put out, starting with our first one in 1938.

You know I love things like looking through newsletters from 1938. There was even a photo of someone at a pond that I am pretty sure is the pond near my office, where the apparently barren geese live. Oh! It was fun to find all those newsletters. I will probably not be saying so as I continue to search for 80 years' worth, but for now it's fun. I am in the middle of World War II right now. I mean, not in my mind, in the newsletters.

Then, as I alluded, we all went fishing today. My department and another department, I guess in attempts to get the other department to stop hating my department, which I didn't know they did. Nothing brings people together like murdering wildlife.

I told this, by the way, to blogger Frankie Who Can't Relax, and I would link you to her blog but she hasn't posted since February and I think she is over it and I don't want you to get attached to her like you did Miss Doxie, who I similarly sent you to and who similarly got over it.

At any rate, Frankie lives in New York, and we were on the phone at lunchtime and I told her my office was going fishing this afternoon and she said, "You mean, like, with poles?'

I do not know what New York people do for team building. Perhaps they bludgeon cab drivers together or something. I don't know.

Honestly, is he helping in the kitchen? I am starving. Where is my burrito? It's the question everyone asks at some point in their lives, isn't it?

So the fishing place was way out, as fishing places are wont to be, and it had kind of an Andy Griffith feel to it, not that I've felt him. It was lovely out there, and there were hamburgers which I would not eat because I feel sorry for cows, and also beer which I did not drink. I'm nothing but fun at a party.

I did tell my third-grade joke, however.

Who cuts the grass at Walton's Mountain? Lawn Boy.

My coworker said, "Wow. You're unplugged out here. Uncensored. Is what you are."

I think they were glad when I left.

Oh, but oh! I forgot to tell you the best part, which is that I caught a fish, which is probably not the best part for the fish, but I put him back. It was a Brim, so he was a decaffeinated fish.

And having never caught a fish before in my life, I reeled him in all wrong and somehow he got right up on me and slapped me on the arm. Which is only fair, seeing as I tricked him with a cricket, stuck a hook in his poor mouth, deprived him of his oxygen source and said, "Psych!" and threw him back.

Maybe I should stop eating fish, too. I hope I don't start feeling sorry for Sonic chili cheese dogs. Nobody point out to me that whole cows-are-in-the-chili part.

Oh, yay, Burrito Man is here. Before I go, I did want to show you this month's Better Homes and Gardens vintage calendar page. Because you know I am obsessed with that calendar.

Bhg

Oh, isn't it pretty? Don't you wish they still made windows where you could just hang out them and attend to your window box? I like how her old, dead plants are still in there. Is she just gonna leave 'em in there?

I am also jamming out to her casual, flowy hairdo. Woo, with the movement, there, honey! Let your freak flag fly!

Anyway, continue to heart the calendar. Best six bucks I ever spent or whatever.

Best fishes,
June

28 thoughts on “Gone fishin.’ And it’s important to not say “ing.”

  1. How fun! Going fishing for team building!!! I LOVE to fish, especially for brim. We take our little boat and go fishing at Stone Mountain (my favorite place because we always catch fish). I like fishing for brim because of the bait, crickets are easy to use. I don’t like using worms (real or fake). We always put a fresh cut up orange in the cricket box and they drink up the orange juice and don’t stink, plus it make those little critters fat and juicy and the fish love them. I always throw my fish back.
    I would love those old newletters. What a terrible assignment. LOL.
    Sounds like a good day, well, except for the tornado warning. We normally get to do that in the middle of the night. Those bad storms move in from the west and always arrive around midnight. I have slept in my clothes many nights because of the threat of tornados. I don’t want to be in my nightgown if a tornado hits.

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  2. For pete’s sake June, Frankie is one of my facebook friends. I will now have to spend the rest of my life trying to figure out who you are. lol

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  3. She’s one of my Facebook friends, too! Now you will have to peer at all her friends to figure out which one is me.
    I am totally the hottest one.

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  4. I too would have said “you mean like, with poles?” if someone told me they were going fishing with co workers. I find that so interesting. Who brought the poles and bait? Thanks for showing us the calendar!

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  5. If I can’t write with such humor I am delighted that you do it for my enjoyment! Thanks.
    Also, I’m a retired teacher. All of our team-building seemed to involve sitting in a room with a way-to-much-money-spent-on-this consultant doing something boring and writing it on chart paper. Fishing sounds WAY more fun than that, huh?

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  6. Oh,I heart me the Better Homes and Gardens calendar, too! Now that lovely lady on the calendar page is probably a “stay-at-home” woman, because it was a slam against your manhood if you let the little woman go out to a “job”. So she is probably thinking warm and homey thoughts while she plants those flowers, thinking “what will I fix him for dinner?” “What can I wear to make him happy he’s home?” Then again, she may be burying his penis along with those flowers, so happy she is that she’s at home…

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  7. I totally would like to know what Andy Griffith felt like… back when he was a young hunk.
    I don’t think her plants are dead. Those look like vinca vines to me. The hanging ones. I like to say vinca vines. Except when I buy them I say “vinca, vinca, vinca vines!!!” Because I am weird and talk to the flowers I buy.
    Also? What does it take to become not only a blog stalker and facebook friend but a phone conversater friend of June?!?!?!?!?! I want to talk to you on the phone when you are having lunch. I know I’m a stalker… I get it. (I turn away, ashamed…)

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  8. Oh and Mary Ellen??? Laughing out loud over here. When I plant my red geraniums and vinca vine in my window boxes (which I bought today, the geraniums and vinca vine… I already had the window boxes) I am going to have a giggle fit thinking about burying penises.

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  9. I want so badly to write something witty and all Dorothy Parker-ish, but I know have this stupid song stuck in my head thanks to you and your fishing story. So I will of course, share it with you!
    You get a line and I’ll get a pole, honeeeeyyy,
    You get a line and I’ll get a pole, Baaaaaabe
    You get a line and I’ll get pole, we’ll go fishing in a crawdad hole, honeeeyy baaaabeeee miiiiine!!!
    If you were singing along with me then poor little Lula should be howling like nobody’s business!
    My calendar every single year is of Mexican kitchens. I am saving them for when I re-do my kitchen and make it as Mexican as possible.

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  10. That’s exactly the kind of work assignment that would get me in trouble. I’d have to read each one and I’d get all sidetracked and it would take 10x longer than it should.
    I second that those plants aren’t dead. I thought they were English Ivy, but I didn’t take a close look.

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  11. You know I am totally envious of you right now with your ultra cool newsletter assignment. I will fly to N.C. and help you. I cannot believe people get paid for this kind of thing…lucky girl.
    Where is a picuture of Henry? I need my fix.

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  12. The last team-building exercise we did up in these parts was a scavenger hunt. There’s photos of me being flipped off, choking a chicken, and being viciously attacked by a swordfish. I’ll email them to you!
    So, see? There were fish involved, even in NYC.
    (No cabbies were harmed during this event)

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  13. Darn you, LisaPie. Now I KNOW I’m going to have that song stuck in my head. And I’m pretty sure the reason you thought of it (well, on top of the fact that June is writin’ ’bout fishin’) is because that song is from the Andy Griffith show. Pretty sure that’s the only place (until now) that I’ve “heard” that song.

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  14. Wow, Frankie posted a comment here. Maybe now she’ll update her blog. Somebody told me the other day that Facebook was like blogs but many times worse, that you get sucked into reading about friends of friends lives and never have time to live your own. That’s why I’ve been afraid to get started on FB (well, that and I don’t have any friends to add…).
    I hope the burrito was wonderful.

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  15. LOL. Fill it to the rim with Brim!
    Hey, anyone remember the Underalls commercial? Underalls! *ding ding*
    And Sheer Energy! One of my geology professors made a Sheer Energy L’eggs joke because he was talking about shear energy.
    We should all talk about old commercials that come to mind.
    I love what you do for me, Toyota! *jump up in the air and never come back down*
    See what you started with your innocuous mention of Brim?

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  16. Impaling crickets or worms or whatever freaks me out!
    And even if I caught a fish, I wouldn’t know what to do with it……..(You want me to get a knife and do what???)

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