My fascinating day by June. Or, do not come to me for medical advice.

Yesterday, I was walking past a coworker's office. "Have you ever had a hernia?" she asked me. Believe it or not, hernia is not one of the diseases I've assigned myself. Because we were going to discuss illness, however, you can imagine how I stampeded right into her office.

"What are your symptoms?" I asked, rapt. I couldn't wait to have them too.

She said she had a pain on her side, and it was a feeling like none she'd ever had before. She showed me where it hurt, and I said, "Well, it can't be your appendix, that's on the left. Here, I'll make you some peppermint tea."

So Doctor of Holistic Healing June, here, got her some tea, and today I got to work and heard the coworker had to have an emergency appendectomy at 3 o'clock this morning.

Guess what? Your appendix is on the right. Why did she listen to my medical advice, anyway?

Other than that drama, I haven't much to tell you. Oh, except today I was going to make me a nice taco salad and I found this bowl Marvin left in the fridge.

Bowlofnuttin

Seriously. This is what he left in the fridge. In this bowl. This…this…KERNEL of WHATEVER IT IS, seriously needed to be (a) kept refrigerated and (b) in this enormous bowl. Uncovered. Is he Jack and the Beanstalk?

After Marvin came home and I placed said bowl gently up his inside parts, he showed me the fine art film we got today from Netflicks.

Gopher

We got, like, eight episodes of The Love Boat. Naturally, we played The Love Boat drinking game. What do you mean you never played it? Didn't you go to college? You take a character (Marvin was Gopher), and every time they come on screen you drink.

Issac

Of course, Issac is a group drink. Wooo-hoo! I picked Julie, and in the particular episode we watched, Julie's parents were on the cruise (her dad was played by Mr. Roper. Of course), and they had to break it to Julie they were getting a divorce. So what I am saying to you was there was a lot of Julie on screen. Parrr-tayyy!

Hic

There was enough Gopher for Marvin to get pretty tanked on his Hi-C juice box, though, too. Yes, seriously. He drank a Hi-C juice box for our Love Boat drinking game. Melissa Gilbert was a guest star, too, by the way, along with Scott Baio's younger brother. Who knew? Oh, and John Travolta's sister. Man, Love Boat is a good show.

In the meantime, Henry was up to his usual shenanigans.

Biteleg

He is seriously spending 100% of his day trying to torment the other animals. Tallulah lets this kitten bite her legs, tail, snout, eyelids. I am waiting for the day her brain will snap and she bites the kitten's head clean off. I will not blame her.

Snouty

Eventually, she hid on the kitten.

Eatdrapes

And Henry found some new way to amuse himself. It's always funny till someone loses a drape.

And so, my Pacific Princesses, that was my day. At least I got my full day's supply of Vitamin C.

31 thoughts on “My fascinating day by June. Or, do not come to me for medical advice.

  1. You seriously thought it was on the left? Have you learned nothing from proof reading medical books? :O
    Still the cutest kitten in the world.
    I love The Love Boat. Fantasy Island was also greatness.

    Like

  2. I TOLD you I absorbed nothing from the books I proofed! Still, knowing me, you’d think I’d at least have the where-the-appendix-is part down.
    How long do you give me to think I have appendicitis? A day? Three days?

    Like

  3. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Hey.. isnt’ there a cartoon where the little chicken hawk gnaws on Foghorn Leghorn’s leg? That is what Henry reminds me of. Oh how l love Henry. I can’t even stand it that I am too far away to kiss his fluffy face.

    Like

  4. All I got to say is: Awww cute little Henry .. I love me some Love Boat episodes too .. that Marvin is a rager .. I see you haven’t moved forward on the get rid of the “obviously they are renters” window coverings .. and glad your friend didn’t listen to you regarding the appendix thing .. also .. and finally .. what was the story behind Marvin leaving the kernal in the bowl in the fridge?

    Like

  5. I know why Marvin left the kernel; he didn’t want to have to put the bowl in the dishwasher. Around here, even empty bowls get left in the fridge for that very reason.

    Like

  6. While I enjoyed MANY parts of today’s post….you must know I STOPPED laughing and had a panic attack at the end of said post whilst looking at pictures of the baby Henry. My friend nearly lost her kitten to “hanging by the blind cords” not too long ago. She came home from work in the nick of time. I will spare you the gory details…suffice to say kitties can get amazingl wrapped up in cords and in awkward positions resulting in a near hanging. PLEASE please please please secure your cords up higher so Henry will be safer. I cannot IMAGINE THAT post!
    Carry on….

    Like

  7. Tell Marvin that my sis in law was once so desperate after a rough day with 3 kids that she had a vodka and Juicy Juice because that is all she had to mix it with. I think she drank the vodka straight with a JJ chaser but I was not there so I will not judge.

    Like

  8. I have also been having a pain…on my right side. My husb has his appendix taken out years ago and he is a little worried about me. So I was reading your post…totally ready to agrue with him that the appendix is on the left side silly. June said so. Even though he has a scar on his right side from having it removed. Then I read the rest of your post and had to eat crow a little. Thanks a lot!

    Like

  9. I always mix up left and right, too. I feel bad for people who take driving directions from me.
    Jews don’t drink so much. My brother and I once had an intense argument (as grown-ups) about whether this trait was attributable to nature or nurture. It took place in public, and – being from NJ – was very loud. My husband (who was present) has still not forgiven me the embarrassment he suffered. WASPS are so sensitive. Especially Catholic ones…
    Did I insult enough people in the above paragraph? I hope so.

    Like

  10. When my son was in elementary school, the SCHOOL NURSE told him he didn’t have appendicitis and sent him on his way. That night? Appendectomy.

    Like

  11. We played the Love Boat drinking game as well but our version was everyone had to do a shot whenever they showed a screen shot of the entire boat. Which was at least before and after every commercial and sometimes during scene changes. I like your version better. Your version everyone ends the game at different stages of drunkenness. My version, everyone is sloshed.

    Like

  12. Lee is right on about the cord! I looked on in horror when I saw little Henry playing with it.
    Years ago we came home and my son age 4 or 5 at the time looked all around for his beloved kitten. He screamed when he saw it
    dangling by its neck from the blind cord.
    Had we been 1 minute later that kitty would have been dead as a door nail. (Whatever that means.)
    Please get some curtains, June!

    Like

  13. Wow. The cord thing never occured to me. You are a good parent so I know you will make sure Henry is safe.
    I give you a week on the appendicities diagnosis. Two weeks tops.

    Like

  14. Oh, dear. I had no idea about kittens and cords. Dear, dear.
    Suburbancorrespondent? I don’t know what Jews you’re talking about, but I know LOTS of ’em and they do LOTS of drinking! Maybe because we live in MA? Or because we live on the coast? I dunno. I DO know that I know many a Jew (my husband, for one!) and there is much vodka being had!
    Lastly, I feel for you and said bowl with one kernel. Ugh. I went to take my Centrum this morning, only to find the bottle put away in the drawer, neatly capped, AND EMPTY.
    Whyyyyyyyy?

    Like

  15. We played “The Bob Newhart Drinking Game”. Every time someone said “Hi Bob” you had to drink. Never made it through without being sloshed.
    June, just waiting to hear from the doctor about my own daughter’s appendix! I’m diagnosing an ovarian cyst, myself, but we’ll see… it’s probably gas.

    Like

  16. We totally also played “Hi, Bob!” We also drank on sheet-exchange night. One night a week you took the sheets down and they gave you a new set, in the dorms. We drank to celebrate.

    Like

  17. Yeah, Alison, I tried to get her to, and she wouldn’t. I said, “Let’s go on Mayo Clinic and put in your symptoms.” I don’t know why she didn’t go rushing right on there. Would’ve been my first move.

    Like

  18. I had a secret crush on Doc?! on the Love Boat. I’m sure he would have known the correct appendentical side. Is that a word? If not, you heard it hear first.
    And my four year old son, pretending to be Superman, wrapped the blind cord around his neck and jumped off the table. I heard a giant crash and went upstairs. His brother looked at me and said “I told him to take it off his waist because he might flip”. Ah, siblings….

    Like

  19. Sheet Exchange night at our dorm just happened to be Thursday night, which was pub night. Handy. Clean sheets. The problem was they weren’t always clean for long.

    Like

  20. Excuse me, “sheet exchange” night?! What college did you gals go to? In the 70’s we washed our own sheets…once in a while. Hmm. I like your program better!
    Long-time reader, first-time commenter. (I’ve always been too intimidated to comment, which is just too silly, so here goes!)
    Sylvia in Queens (NY)

    Like

  21. Love Bronwyn’s comment! LOL!
    I think you should try to put Henry on Tallulah’s head and take a pic, ala Dooce. I know, I know…. but that would be just soooooo adorable that I could spit. Or eat them both up…!

    Like

  22. Sylvia, I went to the esteemed (ahem) University of Guelph, in Canada.
    Mind you, even with the sheet exchange, some of the boys in our dorm went a semester without doing the sheet exchange. I can assure you the only reason I know this is from their own sick admission, not by my own observance. I only observed the boys with clean sheets.

    Like

  23. Bronwyn you had boys in your dorm? We weren’t even allowed to have them in the common area. Course I did go to a little college in a little Texas town where there was a church on everyother corner and a bar across the street.
    June I would think you would know where the appendix is by now because everytime I eat broccoli I swear I’m having appendisitis but Kahuan just tells me to pass gas and I’ll be alright. You know what? He is right.

    Like

  24. Bronwyn–oh my, a comment on my comment! I have to admit that when my daughter was applying to college the University of Guelph sent her a nifty booklet and application. I loved how the school listed all the things that were “cool” about it– but she didn’t bite. But kids applying to college? That’s a whole ‘nother story….
    Sylvia

    Like

  25. Holy crap Junie. You’ve got my kids reading over my shoulder (5 is a great age to start blogging, right?) because I laughed SO OUT LOUD at the “she had emergency appendectomy at 3am this morning”. OKAY, I know you didn’t say 3am this morning, I added that for my own self. But still… OH MY GOD funny. Anyway, my kids were all “What’s so funny???? Oh look, a kiiiiiiitteeeeeeeee.” Nice save. Now I’m off to play drinking games. With a juice box.

    Like

  26. Oh yes, Gladys, we had boys in our dorm. There were good things and bad things about that. Happily, we had our own bathroom. No stinky boys in the bathroom, thank you very much. You get enough of that kind of thing when you get married.
    And Sylvia, how cool is that? Where did your daughter end up applying? Or going?

    Like

  27. little tip — if you can jump on one foot and not shriek in pain, you probably don’t have appendicitis. Just something to remember!
    I’ve never heard of “sheet exchange” before. We had to wash our own sheets. Or not.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s