Today, Marvin and I went to Asheville to spend the day with my old friend Paula.
Paula does not live in Asheville. She lives in Seattle. In fact, she was my housemate in Seattle. It is safe to say she was one of my closest friends in Seattle. We not only lived together, we worked at the same place, too. It is a wonder we did not stab each other in the night, really, what with living together and working together.
Anyway, Paula happened to be in Asheville so we saw her.
When we were housemates, Paula was really, really into that show Hart to Hart, with Stephanie Powers and Robert Wagner. Do you remember that show? I mean, I lived with her in the mid-90s, it wasn't even a real show THEN, it was already old. But she used to tape it, which meant I couldn't do my Firm workout tape sometimes, because she had the stupid tape in to tape stupid Hart to Hart, and to this day I can hum for you the theme song. It goes do DO do do, dodoDOdo… Remember?
One night she was about to watch one of her stupid Hart to Harts, and I said, "Is there a way we can turn this into a drinking game?" I don't know if you have gleaned by now that I took many opportunities to turn things into a drinking game into my youth. Remind me to tell you about my Space Needle drinking game.
Paula said, "Yeah, that'd be easy. Any time Jonathan Hart tells Jennifer Hart she looks beautiful, we could take a drink."
"Okay," I said.
"OH! And any time they kiss, we could take a drink."
"Okay," I said.
"I have another one," said Paula. "Any time they call each other darling, we could take a drink."
"Great," I said. They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no.
So, I got us a couple of Heinekens and we put the tape in, and I am not kidding you, the very first scene of the show, Jonathan Hart walks in, kisses Jennifer and says, "Darling, you look beautiful."
We were so busy trying to drink three times in a row and laugh at the same time that I am sorry to tell you Paula ended up spitting up in the sink. It was a proud moment for us both.
So we had fun in Asheville. Although no one spit up anything.
Not even a hot dog.
We ate at a vegetarian restaurant and I have to tell you I had the best sandwich of my life. Both Paula and I made them substitute the tofu for swiss cheese (sue us), and the bread was toasted and it was that pretentious I'm-at-a-vegetarian-restaurant-in-a-hippie-town kind of bread that weighs 85 pounds, and there was a black bean spread, and really good tomatoes, lettuce, avocado, and really that might have been all, and yet that sandwich was to die for.
Of course, what healthy sandwich would be complete without an individually wrapped chocolate-covered strawberry after? Also, the Panama Canal called. Who needs Botox and filler in that forehead wrinkle?
Anyway. Now we are home and Tallulah is not here, because we were gone for a long time so she is boarding at dog day care.
Here she is on her way to boarding school this morning. She looks a little dejected, doesn't she?
Do you have any idea how much quieter it is when there are only cats in a house? No tinkling tags, no growly dog play noises, no barking at rabbits in the yard. It's horrible. Who invented this peaceful existence?
At any rate, I will close with the comment of the week. And this week, we have a dilemma, folks. In my post Nutrition Information, I think every single person who commented about me getting the healthy salad and then the tub of macaroons was hilarious. I am sorry. I cannot pick. So you all get comment of the week this week. Each one just got ridiculouser than the one before.