BOOM! Great guns, said Pa.

That title is a line from Little Town on the Prairie, and you know it is sad that I can quote Little Town on the Prairie. The BOOK. It irritates me when people say, "Oh that June LOVES the show Little House on the Prairie!" I love the boooooookkkksss! The books!

I do like that show, too. But not like how I like the books.

But I am not here to discuss Laura Ingalls Wilder, although I could write 80 posts on her. Remind me to tell you about the road trip I made my father go on where we toured her whole route from Wisconsin to South Dakota, and saw all the places she lived. Remind me to tell you how all dad did was look for nearby bars that maybe Laura had tippled in.

But I digress. The "BOOM" in my title was about yesterday's weather, and how it rendered me helpless.

Yesterday morning was sunny and hot. It was a nice summery day, if 90 degrees falls under your category of "nice." At one point in the day, I looked in the enormous mirror I have in my office–have I told you about the mirror? It is the size of the Wicked Queen's mirror from Snow White. And am I constantly in that thing? Am I peering at myself like a parakeet? Am I pecking at the mirror and rubbing on it like it's my budgie?

Some woman at work had said mirror on the floor, and I told her it was bad Feng Shui, and she asked if I wanted it in my room and that is when old Narcissus over here got her greatest wish.

ANYWAY, I was (shock!) gazing at my own self in said mirror yesterday and noticed I had the little curl in the middle of my forehead. I only get that little curl when it's gonna rain. But it was so SUNNY! For once I thought my little curl was lying to me.

About four p.m., BOOM! There started to be thunder and lightning. The drive home was dramatic. I kept expecting Large Marge to be on the side of the road. HUGE bolts of lightning, but no rain.

When I got home, we were having that kind of thunder that shakes the house. I love weather like this, but someone else did not.

Lappy

All I wanted to do was have a nutritious snack and read my Star Magazine, but I ended up comforting a vicious Pit Bull mix. And you see Henry is trying his best to distract our scared girl, as well. And yes. Those ARE not one but two Hi-C drink boxes. I need a lot of Vitamin C. To counteract that can of Pringles.

So, I was enjoying the storm until I came in here to check my email. And guess what? GUESS WHAT? The INTERNET was DEAD! I COULD NOT GET ON LINE! It lasted ALL NIGHT! Oh, the agony. Marvin was in the living room watching an old foreign murder mystery with subtitles, and it was about this taxidermist who has a nagging wife, and he poisons her and hangs her skeleton in his taxidermy room. He feeds her body to his pet hawk. I did not feel comfortable with how much Marvin was enjoying his film.

You guys, life without the Internet is so DREADFUL! I didn't know what to do with my hands. I was restless. I know I could have read a book, but I was too keyed up. BECAUSE THERE WAS NO INTERNET!

How did Laura Ingalls Wilder do it?

33 thoughts on “BOOM! Great guns, said Pa.

  1. Would you like me to send you some juice boxes?? I have like 3,000 of them from after-socer-game snack bags that my daughter hasn’t tapped. I have actually collected them during the season and then distributed them back when I was the snack parent. Is that bad? I am I a re-gifter?

    Like

  2. Editor’s Note: line two should read, “soccer”, not “socer”. My daughter plays soccer. Don’t even have a funny line that would use “socer”. Hmm.

    Like

  3. I’m thinking Pringles will not be on your shopping list in your new post-Topomax world. Sigh…I love me some Pringles, but a can that size is single serving for me. Maybe you have more willpower.
    I love your lapdog picture.

    Like

  4. I think Laura Ingalls Wilder used her Blackberry to surf the internet.
    My dog Max is very afraid of thunder and lightning as well. He shakes and shivers and I have to comfort him.
    I wouldn’t worry too much about Marvin, unless he takes up taxidermy as a hobby.

    Like

  5. I so love books more than the show. I think it’s because books were the original Tivo – you could go over and over the same paragraph again as many times as you wanted.

    Like

  6. Penny, my wonderful runaway dog, is terrified of thunderstorms, and for some reason, they only happen at night, at about 2 or 3 in the morning. She is awake, pacing the house, bumping the bed, up on the bed, down off the bed, generally making a nuisance of herself. I read this website that said not to coddle them because that only tells them it’s ok to be anxious, and at 3am it is certainly NOT ok with me. But then I had a friend who said her mom rubs a dryer sheet all over her dog when there is a storm, to battle the static electricity in the air that she thinks is bothering her dog. Well. At 3:30 the other night, I couldn’t handle it and went into the basement, got a dryer sheet, and rubbed Penny down. Do you know she got right up on the bed and went to sleep? Now, I will have to try this again because I don’t know if she did it because the storm was far enough away at that point or if it was because it actually worked. But I am going to try it again. I’ll let you know.
    By the way? Henry? So cute in that picture 🙂

    Like

  7. You should know that I read your posts, and I sit here and laugh my head off, and I go to post a comment because your posts deserve a response, and I sit here and have NOTHING relevant or clever to say. And sometimes I just click away. So today I am posting a comment to say, you crack me up, which is neither clever nor enlightening, but nevertheless, I love your blog, as always.
    Love,
    Your conservative wacko friend,
    dcrmom 🙂

    Like

  8. This is very weird because I just read on Miz Robyn’s (Bitchypoo.com) site that those dryer sheets also repel mosquitos. I use the dryer sheets stuffed in my son’s shoes — helps to “freshen” them.
    I’m going to have to add more dryer sheets to my Peapod order!

    Like

  9. You have a barometer on your forehead. It’s kind of like when the proverbial old man’s leg aches a certain way, or your German man comes out of the house and sends his wife inside to…I don’t know, make him some schnitzel or something.

    Like

  10. It took us YEARS to break our Golden Retriever/Border Collie-ish Carmen of herding us all (Hud, Me, Aida Velveeta and Arnie, the Lop Rabbit) into the center hallway of our house during a thunderstorm. The worse part was we were not allowed to leave the hall without fear of nipping! All of us had bruised ‘tocks after every storm…
    Thunderstorms still make her anxious, but there are too many of us to corral now.

    Like

  11. i love the books also, but my fond memory of “Laura” is watching the show with my grandma (who is still alive & will be 100 on 7/21… i digress…)& it’s the episode where Jack (the dog) gets lost & gram is crying her eyes out & as a girl of 8 i’m saying “don’t worry Grandma, i’ve seen this one before, they find the dog!” Now THAT was a run-on-&-on-&-on sentence!
    ~misschell

    Like

  12. I haven’t seen Pee Wee’s Big Adventure in over 15 years and your mention of Large Marge still gave me the shivers. That scene was sooooo scary!!!
    I just Googled ‘Large Marge’ and the first thing on the search page was her freaky face! Arrrggh!
    Thanks for the nightmares, June!

    Like

  13. Thousands of miles away around the same time (12-1pm here) we had thunder and lighting, rain, and hail in some parts. Weird for Southern California. And, like Lula, my dog, Nikki, had a cow, whining and crying. Then she slept like nobody’s business, like a heavy sack of sand, so pooped from all the worrying that we were all going to die from the thunder storm.

    Like

  14. Laura Ingalls Wilder (THE AUTHOR, not the TV character) and Large Marge in the same post! This was fun. Thank you.
    “And when they pulled the driver’s body from the twisted, burning wreck, it looked like this…”

    Like

  15. My dogs all get panicky and full of anxiety during thunderstorms, or fireworks displays. There’s nothing quite like waking up to a whiney Husky sitting on your head pretending to be a hat! My old deceased Shih Tzu (R.I.P.) used to do the same thing. And it is next to impossible to get up with a dog holding your head down. It is so weird. Why do they think impersonating headwear in the middle of the night is safer than just laying in their own beds? Does my head occupy the safest spot in the house from the storms?
    All I know is that as they get older, they get wimpier and wussier. Just a word to the wise, you might end up with a Tallulah hat some night.
    Totally off topic, but I really like your aqua sofa. It’s a very soothing color.

    Like

  16. Laura must have knitted.
    My husband, who I sometimes believe to be partially illiterate and has never READ the books, loves the Little House on the Prairie show and we have several seasons on DVD. He is so proud. I am not. Especially to have the seasons where they were making up storylines that were never in the books (that I remember) but kept the show going F-O-R-E-V-E-R. But weren’t Ma Ingalls and Mary (in the show) so pretty?

    Like

  17. I think you should moonlight for the weather channel, because THEY cannot predict a storm correctly to save themselves. I guess they don’t have an unruly forehead curl.
    Now I’m reminded that it’s June (hahaha, so totally didn’t see that pun coming) and soon it will be time for my hooligan neighbor kids to start shooting bottle rockets over my house… meaning my Border Collie will not go outside to pee/poo for 6 weeks. Adding “dog diapers” to shopping list.

    Like

  18. June we had thunder and lightening here in Socal yesterday. It was amazing. Anyway I have a lab/dobbie mix who is the biggest baby. I sat in the floor and held her until it quit storming. She is the biggest baby. Kai the big dumb Boxer was excited and wanted to go get all Mohamid Alli with the thunder but not Nikki nope she just wanted to be held. Yeah I sat with a 94 pound dog in my lap. I’m a big sap.

    Like

  19. there once was a girl
    who had a curl
    right in the middle of her forehead.
    when she was good, she was very good
    but when she was bad
    she was horrid.
    You made me think of that little poem that my dad always said to me. I often had that same curl, only mine did not predict the weather.

    Like

  20. I was a DIE HARD fan of the “Little House” series from the age of 7 to about 13. I even went through a (frighteningly long) phase in elementary school wherein I decided that, when I was in high school and could pick my own clothes, I was going to make my own clothes, and they were going to be exactly like Laura’s. I had visions in my head of me walking down the high school hall, in a HOOP SKIRT, hair in a bun, combed over so as not to show my ears–and these visions also involved talking to boys and getting asked to prom and stuff. In a hoop skirt. Maybe petticoats were involved, too. I just can’t be sure.
    I am a damaged individual.

    Like

  21. I know it’s a little late to post on this but I just had to say that we had the biggest thunder/lightning/hail storm that I have ever seen up here in Northern California yesterday. Not common for this area at all. I guess electricity was in the air all over the U.S.

    Like

  22. I had a roommate who got a migraine whenever there was going to be any kind of precipitation. Basically spring sucked for that poor girl. On the plus side, I always knew when to take an umbrella.
    I actually read an article about a cape that’s supposed to help with thunderstorms (for dogs, that is). Apparently it only works if the electrical buildup is what bothers your dog and not just the noise of the thunder. But really, a cape for a dog- awesome!

    Like

  23. I am too excited about the fact that I get to read the Little House books to my kids now! We read the first one and I was so thrilled that now they will understand my context when they ask me to buy them stuff: “Laura Ingalls didn’t even have a doll. She played House with a CORN COB!”

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s