The Tide is high…

I did something remarkable this weekend.

I caught up on my laundry.

Perhaps were expecting, you know, "I mated with a horse" or at least "I jumped from something tall," but for me, catching up on the laundry is akin to those great feats. And I KNOW I don't have kids and therefore do not know from real laundry. Yet somehow I cannot keep up.

Oftentimes you'll find my desperate unlaundered self at work in the dress I wore to homecoming in 1982, or the stingray costume I wore for Halloween the year Marvin and I were Steve Irwin and a stingray.

Sting  
And let's not even discuss what I've done for underwear.

Also, sometimes I have to just shake off when I emerge from the shower, like a dog.

Are you gleaning that laundry is not something I keep up on?

Margo
My mother, who sometimes acts like Margaret from Dennis the Menace, cannot understand this.

 (No, really, she can act so hoity-toity sometimes. Like, let's say I call her because I just found out I need a filling. She'll say, "I don't know why you get cavities, honey. I brush four times a day and I floss at the top of every hour." These statements only help to make you feel worse, and also to wonder why she is wearing her hair in those ringlets.)

"I don't understand why you can't keep up with the laundry, honey," my mother said. "All my life I have done laundry on Friday, and I finish on Saturday. I am never without something to wear."

I mean, it makes you want to sneak into her closet and replace everything with one giant barrel with suspenders, doesn't it?

At any rate, I DID start Friday, and I kept at it until Sunday night, and three giant tubs of laundry got done. And you know what? I do not need to buy as many clothes as I thought. Also…

Pinks

If you hear about me buying another pink shirt, could you roll over me with my mother's barrel?

(Crap. I forgot to worm in that "Don't forget to vote for me for Funniest Blogger" line. Hey! Don't forget to vote! You can vote every day!) ("I don't understand how you'd forget to vote, honey. I vote every day in my clean clothes.")

32 thoughts on “The Tide is high…

  1. Our laundry piles up just the same way, until one of us runs out of underwear.
    That is a fabulous costume. It looks warm, which is an important and rare thing for a Halloween costume to be.

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  2. 😦 I have never been “caught up” on laundry. Ever. I can’t imagine my water bill if I ever worked on it, either! Ugh!

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  3. The tide is high but I’m holding on….
    Now I’m going to be singing that Blondie song for the rest of the day while I am feeling guilty about not having the laundry caught up.
    Gee Thanks,
    Tina

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  4. Hey June, Have you checked out that voting site today?? Yesterday they were all sorted in order and you were near the TOP, but now they’ve rearranged the whole thing, and I really had to SEARCH for you! My kids are even voting for you! They love your pet pics and think you are hilarious! (I have 4 kids… I do laundry EVERY day… and it’s NEVER caught up… whatever…)
    Have a lovely day!

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  5. It makes me feel happy and encouraged to see that there are others out there like me! I never am caught up on my laundry. When I finally decide to DO my laundry I sort through the seemingly endless piles and say things like- well it’s summer now, no need to wash that sweater as I won’t be wearing it for a few more months. And said sweater stays in the hamper until November or so. Scary I know. At lest you’re not that bad June.

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  6. Love the face you’re making in the stingray costume! This is typically how most stingrays look I assume.
    Uh…where is Henry? No offense, but I come here every day for my Henry fix and now I must tackle the day without it? Cruel.

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  7. I’m convinced that laundry reproduces in the hamper! I just know that’s what happens in my husbands closet. There are only two of us, we are retired and there are always dirty clothes to be washed.
    I have to run now and vote. We need a photo of Sir Henry.

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  8. I think that they must be afraid that you are going to get the most votes. They have now put you in the last spot so you have to scroll all through the others to find yours.I like it better when you were in the order of most votes. It isn’t even in alphabetical order—not sure what order it is in. We will find you to vote never fear, even if they hide it on another page!!!!!!!!!

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  9. Yikes…couldn’t find your site to vote for at first…duh, didn’t see the scroll-down arrow. But never fear, I did vote for ya! Your site is lookin’ good girl!

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  10. Laundry is of the devil. My mother and your mother must be kin. I hear the same type of crap from my mother. “If you tried a little harder you could get it all done”…mother guilt sucks.
    I voted. Everyday. You must win!

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  11. I voted for you. In return, are you offering overnight stays in the Lincoln bedroom?
    Oh wait. Different type of election.
    P.S. I don’t like doing laundry either and my dryer sounds like Mike Tyson’s staging dog fights in there.

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  12. Laundry is the bane of my existence. I just reverted to my old ways… everybody’s laundry gets done separately. Mine and the hubby’s; the two girls; the baby. For some reason that seems to keep it under control. I did one load of towels last night and I will do a load of girls clothes today. Then I shouldn’t have more to do until Thursday. I was doing 3-4 loads a day. I’m not sure why it works better but it does.
    Oh and I voted, four times, I might vote in my kids names today…

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  13. I’m rubbish at laundry. My boyfriend keeps suggesting we get a bigger laundry bin so it doesn’t spill out quite so much while we’re doing everything but wash clothes but I think that would be a dangerous move. And we totally plan on having kids. We may have to come up with a system.
    Also, I love the stingray costume. The animal itself scares the living daylights out of me (that face!) but you don’t quite have that effect.

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  14. I am never caught up on laundry because my husband does insane things like use FIVE TOWELS for one shower…? (This might be the reason we someday divorce)
    Also, this week, we discovered we have a MOUSE PROBLEM in our basement (thanks to him leaving the bulkhead doors open), and they seem to be focused in the laundry room. (I pulled one out of the dryer, terrified and gripping a towel) So, needless to say, there has never been a person more behind on laundry than my bad self. I’m hoping they’re the Disney type of mice though, and when I get the guts to go back down there the laundry will all be magically done and folded and pressed and tied up with ribbons. Any if they sing too, well, that would just be a plus.

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  15. I force myself to do laundry every Monday, come hell or high water. I don’t really mind laundry because I love the clean smell and rolling around in the warm from the dryer towels and sheets. What I mind is stuff like organizing and putting things away all the time. We seem to be the center of the Clutter Vortex. I clean and swiffer all the time to keep things like dust bunnies from proliferating, but clutter piles . . . . OMG! What is the deal with them? They are everywhere. You tame one and 3 more have popped up somewhere else. It’s enough to make you want to move.

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  16. With three little kids I am NEVER done laundry. I am washing 5 loads today and will again by week’s end. My mom lives in a developing country and has a lady who DOES HER LAUNDRY. For 2 people. Must be nice.
    I was not intending to sound so bitter in my comments – I was actually just here to connect on the pink shirt issue. I found myself thinking the other day, “I really need to get a red shirt. I used to wear red all the time.” Changed my mind when I found three red shirts in my drawer. Not including pajamas, workout wear or swimwear.

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  17. Laundry can be so depressing. I know it sounds terrible to complain about it since we have fancy schmancy machines instead of banging our clothing against rocks. I think it’s the Groundhog Day factor that gets me.
    Typing this made me flash to Coal Miner’s Daughter and Sissy as Loretta plucking her guitar on the back porch and pausing to give the washer a kick. Good times.

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  18. You are less than 10 away from the Foodie.
    I won’t tell you how far you are ahead of me though:)
    I’m so excited for you. Hope you win (if I don’t)
    ps I’m only 600 and some behind and I have a bigger family:) Six kids finally come in handy

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  19. Honey, yours is the funniest blog I’ve read in YEARS. And I ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie over here either. I mean it. I’m voting for you every ding dang day and twice if I happen to wake up at 3:00 a.m. – it works! I voted this morning and again tonight! Totally works! Keep on keeping on honey! You tickle this old girl slam to death. I’ve read all your archives and am working on the archives for Bye Bye Buy. (I am NOT a stalker! I’m too damn tired to stalk anybody!) My Gawd, you’re hilarious. Want to come over and eat some collards?
    Sandy in Clayton, NC

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  20. I got caught up on all of my laundry, too. The stars must be aligned, or something. Well, actually, there was a full moon on Sunday – I bet that’s it. Like you, we have no kids and I just don’t understand where all the dirty clothes come from! My SIL has 6 kids and I think she gets more laundry done than I do! (It helps that she has two washers and dryers, though. That would rock).

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  21. I put a load in every night and then put it in the dryer in the morning while coffee is brewing. I just started doing this and it’s working. In case you wondered. Also, I don’t like Dr. Pepper so the strawberry will be perfecto-mundo.

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  22. I just placed vote number 700! I tried to vote using my personal email also too, and it wouldn’t let me. Drat!
    When I used to get super behind, I would lug it to the laundry mat and just be done with it. Just be sure you go in plenty of time before closing or you may find the attendant grabbing and folding your drawers to get you out quicker. Oh and then asking you for a ride home. And then you have to call your mother to help take laundry home because you can’t fit it, the attendant, and her boyfriend in your minivan.

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  23. A barrel of suspenders… who would ever thing of such a thing?
    JUNE!
    You’re hilarious. I was thinking, ‘Maybe I will skip voting today – I have so much laundry to do’ but then I read that phrase ‘a barrel of suspenders’ and decided to get my priorities straight.

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  24. Aggghh, my mother is the same. She can be SO smug. And right now she has moved the entire way across the country to come and *stay* for three months, and to top it off I can’t blog about it to vent cause in a moment of weakness I told her about my blog and now she reads it. So I will vent here instead. My mother – Aggghhhh!

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  25. I just went through a complete and total closet cleaning fury. I was amazed I had 15 white t-shirts. I also had the same button up shirt in 3 colors. Oh and don’t get me started on shoes.

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