Really, I have nothing important to tell you. Go watch Match Game instead.

Who cracks herself up because she thought of Match Game? It was a game show that came on after school in the '70s and maybe the '80s, and it featured such luminaries as Charles Nelson Riley. And also Brett Sommers. Who as far as I know never did anything except be on Match Game.

The theme song went like this: BWAP! Doom do do do do doom BWAP! Doom do do do do doom. You know you are totally hearing it in your head right now. If you're over 35, anyway.

Oh, smack my Fannie Flagg. Look what I found on You Tube. The theme song from Match Game. Good GRAVY, the Internet is a wonderful place.

But now, see how I was going to tell you I had nothing to tell you, and now I give you great material such as the theme song from Match Game? You know what I might do? You know how some people blast music on their blog so that when you're at work you get into trouble because suddenly your computer is playing I've Been to Paradise But I've Never Been to Me when you're supposed to be formatting spreadsheets? I am TOTALLY gonna be one of those blogs that play music, except the only thing I'll play is the theme from Match Game over and over. And maybe I'll Tumble For Ya every fourth song, just to be annoying.

My best friend in high school HATED the song I'll Tumble For Ya, and once we were at a diner and I put $10.00 in the juke box and just played I'll Tumble For Ya over and over again. Oh, the hilarity. It'd end and then it'd go do do do do dodo! I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for YOU…

Eventually, the manager came and unplugged the juke box. Whatever with his crabby self. Back then 10 bucks got you like 20 songs.

Anyway. The other important info I must impart for you is that I got home early today because I had to go back to the migraine doctor. And even though I have been off my make-me-skinny meds for three weeks, I weighed LESS today than I did last time I went there. Which between you and me is a bit of a surprise, because I don't mean to dwell on my bowels, but they are not exactly what you'd call moving and shaking lately. Mrs. Brown has not been dropped off at the pool. If you catch my drift. So imagine how little I'd weigh if I were, you know, squeezing the Charmin or whatever.

Getting home early meant I had plenty of time to get to the store and buy the ingredients for my pea salad, which I have to take for my work party tomorrow. I am sorry to tell you that I told several coworkers that I planned to get a bunch of lettuce and pee on it, so you can imagine the crowds clamoring for my pea salad tomorrow. Salad going begging! Did your mother ever say that?

Goodness, we've dwelled on several bodily functions here today at Bye Bye Match Game. Let's segue to something more tantalizing, such as the obligatory Henry picture.

Froggy

Who is a little frog? Look at his legses. And his round tum. Honestly, he is in such a dink phase right now, where he pounces on EVERYTHING, the only thing saving him is his little froggy sweetness.

I must go now, try to get some fiber. And I know you hope I keep you abreast of how THAT'S going. I promise to never bring it up again. I will leave you with yet another reminder to vote, although I hardly think today counts as a funniest blogger day. Still. Try to remember the good times we had together. When I actually had things to tell you that were actually funny. Vote for THAT June, not this stopped-up, game-show-loving shell of a blogger from today. (Did you see what I did, there? I brought it up again.)

35 thoughts on “Really, I have nothing important to tell you. Go watch Match Game instead.

  1. I voted again! You’re closing in on 3000 votes! (Though I didn’t scroll through the whole thing to check your standings. It’s just too painfully random.)
    Your pea salad will be a hit. Surely.

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  2. go get a bag of prunes. Eat a couple of prunes with breakfast every day and you’ll be regular as can be. Oh but don’t let Lulu and Henry eat them because then it’s a big messy mess. I one time had a dog who ate a whole bag of prunes and well lets just say he was an outside dog for several days. he also ate a bunch of bacon grease and a whole bag of oreo cookies. I’m surprised that dog lived as long as he did.

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  3. Shredded Wheat. It works like a charm. Maybe shredded wheat and prune juice. My Gamma, who was a very no-nonsense lady, drank prune juice every night with her evening pills. I hope things get moving for you.

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  4. Match Game, Dinah Shore show, Mike Douglas show. Sometimes Password. I remember watching all of them after school while Mom ironed. It seems like she ironed every day back then-now I asked her where her ironing board is and she said she’d not used it in two years.

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  5. Do you remember Gene Rayburn’s microphone? While you are out of funny tales does Marvin have anymore Michael Jackson stories for us?

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  6. When I lived in England, I learned the phrase “shake your lettuce” instead of “salad gone begging”, which my mother never said.
    Henry is looking very cute and not-so-pouncy today.

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  7. You don’t get the Game Show Channel? Match Game is on…often. All your old faves.
    Not familiar with the “Salad Gone Begging” phrase. But I hope you get a turtle head soon.

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  8. “Dumb Dora was so dumb…”
    (how dumb was she?)
    “Dumb Dora was so dumb…she put BLANK in her pea salad.”
    And now pick Richard Dawson to be your matching buddy.

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  9. I LOVE MATCH GAME, not to mention Match Game PM. Oh June, you seem like your old self today…I love me some June and her bodily function/game show humor!

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  10. Ahhh, here we are…Lo 40 years later still discussing your bowels! It’s reassuring, dear June, that some things never change!
    And I want to know how IS it that you lose weight given your diet of Sonic and Arby’s? Not fair, I’m tellin’ ya.
    Also, what is in pea salad? No, not pee salad.
    And my mom never said the “Salad going begging” thing. It really doesn’t make sense!

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  11. I have never heard “salad gone begging”. And I don’t have a clue what is in pea salad. Aside from the peas.
    I adore Henry and I like how well he matches your flooring.

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  12. 1. I’m so glad I have a volume button on my computer.
    2. “Mrs. Brown has not been dropped off at the pool.” ROFL!!!! I’ve never heard that one.
    3. That Henry photo awwwwwwwwwww.
    I must vote now.

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  13. I stumbled upon your blog the other day and I CANNOT stop reading! I had to go back and read the previous blog as well. And no, I don’t have a life. I recently moved to a new town and work is sooooo slow right now. You make me pee my pants a little on a daily basis. Thank you for that!

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  14. In the South we say our bowels are locked up solid.You need to eat some spinach greens.with bacon fat.

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  15. Lordy, I’ve missed you folks!
    A tornado blew through Memphis a week and a half ago and the Hudarosa has been without cable until now. I have been on several opiates to subdue the withdrawl symptoms. The self-prescribed liberal amounts of bourbon and ice assisted their calming effects.
    I swear, June, if ever mention Laura Ingalls Wilder again, I will hold you personally responsible for my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
    And my salad has never begged for anything.

    Like

  16. Lordy, I’ve missed you folks!
    A tornado blew through Memphis a week and a half ago and the Hudarosa has been without cable until now. I have been on several opiates to subdue the withdrawl symptoms. The self-prescribed liberal amounts of bourbon and ice assisted their calming effects.
    I swear, June, if ever mention Laura Ingalls Wilder again, I will hold you personally responsible for my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
    And my salad has never begged for anything.

    Like

  17. Lordy, I’ve missed you folks!
    A tornado blew through Memphis a week and a half ago and the Hudarosa has been without cable until now. I have been on several opiates to subdue the withdrawl symptoms. The self-prescribed liberal amounts of bourbon and ice assisted their calming effects.
    I swear, June, if ever mention Laura Ingalls Wilder again, I will hold you personally responsible for my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
    And my salad has never begged for anything.

    Like

  18. Hey, Pie Girl. Moseyed on over to check out your bloggy teehees since we are competitors for Funniest Blog. I have decided your blog is funnier than mine over at Pajamas and Coffee ( I think because I have 4 kids I am too cranky to be funny 😉 but I sure did enjoy your place. Come hang out on my blog porch sometime (scroll down because I was extra not-funny this week…) and let’s trade bloggy link love! Good luck in the contest- happy to be in your company!

    Like

  19. Dear Marymac,
    I emailed you back but I’m also telling you here because my email address often gets caught in spam. Not the food product. The computery thing.
    Welcome! Thanks for saying I’m funny. Let’s all go visit Marymac and see if she’s as crabby as she says.

    Like

  20. my 5 yr old kept saying “why are you going to tumble for me?” but it was better than a few weeks ago when she asked why Kid Rock “wanted to pour sugar on her tonight”…
    ~misschell

    Like

  21. My eye starts twitching whenever I hear “Rock Me, Amadeus,” which thankfully is hardly ever, because of a jukebox incident in a Pizza Hut on a youth choir trip.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for “Smack my Fannie Flagg” and “Mrs. Brown.” They have greatly enhanced my life and I’ll be forever grateful.

    Like

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