The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

Last night started out copacetic enough. We took Henry out for his routine viewing-of-the-fireflies part of the evening.

Menhen

He loves him some fireflies. They fascinate him. Our hair matches, doesn't it?

Marnhen

He snaps his head this way and that, trying not to miss a single one.

Armrest

Bigeyez

I tried to photograph the actual fireflies, but have you ever tried to do that? I am no nature photographer.

Cornercat

I wish anything were this fascinating to me. I mean, other than me. And Barry Gibb.

Look

Anyway, soon after that, I went to bed. Tallulah came with me. I was deeply in REM when the sound of her gagging woke me up. "OFF!" I said to her, before I was even awake.

That poor dog was sick as a pooch, so to speak. She kept gagging, then giving up and jumping back in the bed, then jumping off to gag pitifully some more, then she'd come back and spoon me, with her head on top of mine. I think she was scared. Heaven knows I would be, if I felt pukey. Have I mentioned the last time I barfed was in 1982? And I'd like to keep it that way?

Because I was worried about the dog, I lay there awake for a long time. I had many deep thoughts. For example:

  • I really, really like peppermint Tic-Tacs. When I was a kid and played house, I used to pretend to be addicted to pills and the Tic-Tacs were my pill bottle. I would stand in my play kitchen and make my hand shake while I poured out a big batch of Tic-Tacs, and stuff them all in my mouth greedily. I have no idea where I learned to pretend I was addicted to pills. It could have been from the soap operas I was expressly forbidden to see, that my grandmother totally let me watch as soon as my mother was gone. I lay there last night and thought about how good peppermint Tic-Tacs were. Honest. I did.
  • I do not know why, but I am curious about Kendra's wedding. Kendra. The really dumb Playboy chick from The Girls Next Door. She is someone who should just never open her mouth, because she is spectacularly stupid, but man, she looks good. I should NOT care what Kendra wore to her wedding, but I do. I almost considered getting up and Googling it.
  • Sometimes I think about just giving up and cutting off all my hair. Last night I tried to picture myself in a pixie haircut, which yes, I KNOW would be a disaster. You have to have Halle Berry's features, or Sharon Stone's. I have Dom Deluise's features.

I guess that must have been the point where I drifted off, because I had a dream that I actually went through with the pixie cut and in my dream it looked adorable. Keep dreamin'.

When I got up this morning Tallulah was her usual perky self, and Marvin–who slept through all the drama–said, "Someone threw up a peach pit at some point in the night."

I doubt it was Brandon from 90210. Remember? He worked at the Peach Pit? With Nat. See, I am full of the deep thoughts.

Why would you EAT a peach pit? What would make you say, "Oooo! This looks consumable!" I mean, I understand my dog is not as intelligent and deep as I am.

Do you think Tallulah would like Tic-Tacs?

36 thoughts on “The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

  1. Henry watching fire flies is interesting to me. Our dog tries to catch flies. It is so funny to watch her follow them and then jump. Reminds me of when the Karate Kid tried to catch flies with chop sticks. Was it the Karate Kid?

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  2. I’m glad he didn’t say “Someone threw up AT the Peach Pit,” because then I’d be all worried about who was sick, and hope it wasn’t Dylan, because I’m married to him.
    I think Tallulah would like mint tic tacs, and then at least her puke would have a nice minty smell to it.
    “Man who catch fly with chopstick, accomplish anything.” – Mr. Miyagi

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  3. I thought I was the only one who remembered that one from Jack Handey.
    I loved the orange tic-tacs. I think Lula would like the fancy-dancy flavors like Raspberry Lemonade or whatever.
    Silly dog.

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  4. Well, perhaps she was eating a peach and just got carried away with the yumminess of it all.
    And be thankful she got rid of it herself. Talk to any vet and you’ll hear nightmarish stories of bizarre objects that had to be removed surgically. I’ll trade a sleepless night for no surgery any old time.
    Roxie’s latest is eating big clumps of grass seed. But it turns out that’s quite an aid to, um, elimination. Roughage, I guess.

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  5. Dom Deluise had short hair and it worked for him.
    I don’t know how long these have been around, but today was the first time I ever saw them: pink tic tacs. They are pink grapefruit flavored. They are breast cancer tic tacs. Tic tacs for the ta tas, you might say. I just love that they are pink.

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  6. Kendra probably just wore a mini skirt and pasties for her wedding!
    Love the pics of sweet Henry. When a fly gets in our house our dog is obsessed.

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  7. Aw Kendra… ok so I googled it and the only pics I could find are apparently from a helicopter overhead or something, but she looks like a Barbie. 🙂
    PS – Since I was freakin’ laid off on Friday, please note my email address here.

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  8. Kendra had some sort of Cinderella looking dress…way out of character, I’d say.
    Love the Henry pictures and adore that you take him to see the evening firefly show. Also, did you notice in the first picture that your hair matches his?
    You should be thankful that Lula is talented enough to barf up a peach pit, thereby saving you hundreds of dollars at the vet. However, I can’t imagine why she ate it…if I hazarded a guess it would probably insult her intelligence.

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  9. I disagree with all of you and think that since Tallulah thought a peach pit as tastie she would go for the orange tic tacs. I can picture her now standing in the kitchen on her hind legs begging. She would be shaking because she was addicted to orange pills. Are there any narcotics that are orange?

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  10. Isn’t Kendra knocked up? Shocking, I know. She’s all sweet and virginal. I’m pretty sure I saw some video clip of her bachelorette party and she was the designated driver because she is with child.

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  11. Once,when my sissy Jan, famous commentor here at Bye Bye Pie, was a young weed hopper was playing merrily by heself with her favorite barbie doll and ken doll. I stood outide her bedroom door listening. She was MAYBE 8 or 9 years old. I heard her say, “hello.” in her sultry little girl grown up woman voice. Then I heard “well hello” in her deep manly little girl voice. Then I heard the sultry little girl grown up voice say “wanna come back to my place? Have a drink? Make a little love?” to which the maly voice replied “I thought you’de never ask” WTF??? Where did she learn THAT??? At age 8???

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  12. Lee,
    Do you think? I thought my hair kind of looked like Vera’s from Planet of the Apes.
    And how much do I love that slutty Barbie story? I remember watching my then six-year-old cousin Maria standing on the front porch singing, “Touch my body, we’ll move in time. Now I know you’re mine.” Stupid bad-influence Madonna.
    Maria also once sang, at the top of her lungs, “Mr. Mojo risin’! Mr. MO.JO. RIS.IN’! Got to keep on risin’!”
    You know, in general, we were all a little concerned about Maria. But she turned out great.

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  13. Henry doesn’t struggle to get the fireflies? He just sits there nicely? Does he make that “ack ack ack” noise or is that just MY LUNATIC cat?

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  14. I didn’t realize Kendra had gotten married already, but I had to go out and Google that immediately.
    She did, in fact, wear a totally out of character (yet still boobalicious) Cinderella gown: http://www.buddytv.com/articles/the-girls-next-door/the-girls-next-door-kendra-wil-29652.aspx
    And she is, in fact, pregnant: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/marc_malkin/b128415_kendra_hank_were_having_baby.html
    What did people do in the days before the internet? Or reality TV?

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  15. goodness…of all the things to throw up. at least it wasn’t on your bed. i’m actually thankful for the mornings when the pet vomit is not on any carpeting or bedding.
    and henry is a good kitty, no way would my cat stay in my arms if i took him outside. he’d be somewhere eating as much grass as possible so he can play ‘hide-the-vomit’ with us.

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  16. At least she didn’t throw up poop. Carmen our border collie/retriever is wont to do that. At least when she throws up the Zali Lama’s poop, it’s very minty. The dog loves peppermint candy is all I’m sayin’.
    A friend of mine is a second grade teacher at a Catholic school and one year she had a really ADD kid who would burst into “Like a Virgin! Touched for the very first tiiiiiimmmmeee!” the very second a nun came into view. Complete with hand gestures… Nice.

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  17. At least she didn’t throw up poop. Carmen our border collie/retriever is wont to do that. At least when she throws up the Zali Lama’s poop, it’s very minty. The dog loves peppermint candy is all I’m sayin’.
    A friend of mine is a second grade teacher at a Catholic school and one year she had a really ADD kid who would burst into “Like a Virgin! Touched for the very first tiiiiiimmmmeee!” the very second a nun came into view. Complete with hand gestures… Nice.

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  18. At least she didn’t throw up poop. Carmen our border collie/retriever is wont to do that. At least when she throws up the Zali Lama’s poop, it’s very minty. The dog loves peppermint candy is all I’m sayin’.
    A friend of mine is a second grade teacher at a Catholic school and one year she had a really ADD kid who would burst into “Like a Virgin! Touched for the very first tiiiiiimmmmeee!” the very second a nun came into view. Complete with hand gestures… Nice.

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  19. I just can’t STAND it! Henry is SO dinglety-danglety CUTE!
    How is it that he does not seem to want to pounce after the fireflies? We don’t have fireflies here in Salem, MA…I remember them in my backyard when I lived in Traverse City, though. We had jillions of them. Very magical.
    Also, what does the title of this posting have to do with the content? Just curious.
    Thanks, Junie!

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  20. Dear P from M,
    The title of this post is one of Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts. It is, in fact, my favorite Deep Thought.
    See, cause I lay awake and had those deep thoughts.

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  21. Quality time with Henry and the Fire Flies….so stinking sweet.
    (BTW, i can tell your not a native. I call them fire flies as well, but the natives tell me they call ’em Lightnin’ Bugs)
    Your Tick Tack story was so funny! Did you smoke candy cigarettes too? We had two kinds growing up. One that was a soft candy that was loosely wrapped in cigarette-like paper, w/ powdered sugar in it, so when you blew on it there appeared to be smoke. The other “brand” was just hard candy with a pinkish tip on the end (for the flame I guess.)
    Good times.

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  22. Kellie,
    Yeah, one of my walking partners at work said that, too. “We call ’em lighting bugs!” She is also the person who’s got me saying “over yonder” like it’s a thing. She also says slap, which I love. “McDonald’s was slap full today.” Heart her.
    Anyway, the real reason I am writing is to say a few years back I went as a cigarette girl for Halloween, and I searched stores for candy cigarettes. When I asked people if they had them, you’d have thought I was asking if they had wine for minors or something. People were appalled!
    We need to lighten up. Really. I played with candy cigarettes my whole childhood and I have never smoked. Never will. Geez Louise. Fewer violent video games, more candy cigarettes.

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  23. I can’t believe you used to pretend to be addicted to pills when you played house!!!! You have to be the funniest blogger because, well, you are!!

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