Bunny Mom

Remember the other day when I said I was unnaturally interested in Kendra's–of the Playboy Girls Next Door Kendras–wedding? My close personal friend Daisy sent me this photo:

Gals

That's my friend Daisy in the middle. Of course her name isn't really Daisy. How many people do you know named Daisy who aren't ducks or dogs?

At any rate, Daisy is one of my friends in LA, and I'm telling you that when you live in LA, you just never know when you're gonna end up as a sandwich between Bridget and Kendra. With Hef lurking off in the back like some figure in a Goya painting.

Now, listen. Here's what I have to say. If I were a man or a lesbian, I would pick my friend Daisy. She just seems more…you know, real. She is beautiful, but in a much more understated way.

But seeing as I am not a lesbian or a man, I am probably looking at it all wrong. I am thinking about which gal would be more fun to go to coffee with, or talk to on the phone. I already know that Daisy is fun to go to coffee with and to talk to on the phone.

(Daisy is German. Like, from Germany German, as opposed to me, who is from Michigan German. She has never. Ever. Been one second late for any plan we ever made. Once she even tried driving around my block to be a little late, and she got there to the minute on time. Germans. At least we're on time.)

Anyway, someone attracted to women would not think, gee, which one would I want to have coffee with? Right?

So here's what I want to know. From the four men out there who read this blog, are you really, every one of you, attracted to the Playboy bunny type? All of you? Really? I need to know. Okay, I don't NEED to know, but I'm so currrrious, as Margaret Cho's mom would say.

For the ladies in the house, what's your opinion? Do you think this blonde, hooty-hoot look is what men really like? Then why do they always pick Mary Ann and not Ginger? Hmmm?

(Oh. And I named this post Bunny Mom because I often find myself driving home from work behind a woman whose license plate reads "Bunny Mom." I am obsessed. Is she literally a mother to bunnies? Like, she birthed them? Because the world has enough bunnies, doesn't it? Do we really need humans to help out, there? Or, alternatively, is she a former Playboy Bunny who is now a mom? Because that seems a little inappropriate to group together in one thought.)

(And by the way, she tailgates when she drives and goes really fast. So maybe she is like the hare in Tortoise and the Hare. But then why isn't she Hare Mom on her license plate?)

(These and other questions burn in my brain.)

32 thoughts on “Bunny Mom

  1. I have 3 brothers, have had 2 husbands,1 son and then my dad. Here is my theory: If men like blondes – that’s their focus. If men like breasts – they don’t care if they’re real or fake – or what they are attached to, it’s all they see. If men like legs, ditto, etc. They are so much more visually stimulated (surface stuff) than women tend to be. Those who want someone to grab coffee with or sit and gab, are either gay or more towards the hetero-flexible side.

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  2. OH MY GOD THE BREASTS! They are huge. I know that could have gone without saying but hey, nothing about those bunnies is subtle so it’s kind of on theme.
    I think maybe Bunny Mom has a playboy bunny daughter. It’s like the “my kid’s an honour student” bumper sticker. (Did you imply that and I am just really slow? I never know with these things.)
    Bridget is my favourite.

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  3. Now, see, housewife who is accidental, that never, ever occurred to me. You could be right. Wouldn’t it be great if she were Kendra or Bridget’s mom?
    I always liked Holly. I am sad that I have a favorite. And you know who I really, really liked? The secretary. The old lady secretary. She, of course, is an age-appropriate woman for Hef.

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  4. I was having this discussion years ago with a couple of male friends in Grad school. I made the comment that this chick’s breasts were fake. One of them piped up, “MayBE. But they’re covered in REAL SKIN!”
    So there you go.
    This has been a rather porny horny week for you, Junay.

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  5. I was having this discussion years ago with a couple of male friends in Grad school. I made the comment that this chick’s breasts were fake. One of them piped up, “MayBE. But they’re covered in REAL SKIN!”
    So there you go.
    This has been a rather porny horny week for you, Junay.

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  6. I was having this discussion years ago with a couple of male friends in Grad school. I made the comment that this chick’s breasts were fake. One of them piped up, “MayBE. But they’re covered in REAL SKIN!”
    So there you go.
    This has been a rather porny horny week for you, Junay.

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  7. Okay, I love this show. I used to watch it all the time because I thought they were all so cute and funny. Yes, I actually went out and bought the Playboy magazine when they were all on the cover. My husband thinks the show is stupid, but what man doesn’t think they are attractive?? I must admit, I’ve watched Kendra’s new show and it’s kind of boring. Bridget was my favorite one but again, her beach show? Boring. They are all only interesting when they are all together and sleeping with the same old man. Why is that and what does that say about my viewing taste?

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  8. Maybe “Bunny Mom” is mom to a daughter named Bunny. In which case, you should slash her tires on behalf of that poor child.
    I once met a woman who was actually named Bunny. I was 13, she was probably in her late 40s. She said “Hi, I’m Bunny” and even thoug I didn’t say out loud “OMG REALLY??” my face must’ve said it, because she sighed and said, “Yeah. Really. Be glad you had normal parents.”
    Which may actually be the turning point in my relationship with my mother. She always says I was a pain till I turned 13, when I was suddenly a treat to be around. Maybe it’s because she didn’t name me Bunny.

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  9. in my not so humble opinion, men want bunny chick in one place but intelligent coffee girl in other place. if you know what i mean. 😉

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  10. “Daisy” is so much cuter than those two bimbos! Bimboes? Bimbi? She’s got much better hair, is more approachable and when she’s fifty her boobs won’t be in her shoes. And look at “Daisy’s” cute dimple! The other two can’t smile, they’ll crack. (I bet those two blonds are not exactly plagued with independent thought either.)

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  11. I don’t watch the show so I didn’t know the one in the middle wasn’t a “Girl Next Door.” I think there are a lot of men who appreciate Daisies. They are beautiful, fun and relaxed. Kendras, on the other hand, can’t go to the State Park because they will mess up their hair or sprain an ankle hiking in their stilletos. I would be a Daisy any day!

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  12. I am horrified to admit that I was watching Kendra’s show the other day. Okay, she milked a cow for the first time, first time she had ever seen a cow in person! Dweebo!
    THEN her fiance’ took her to meet his parents for the FIRST time! She had cleavage all over the place and as a gift she gave her father-in-law an autographed copy of the Playboy she was the centerfold in!
    Now, really, would you want your father in law to see you naked and in various and assundry poses of nakedness??? And would your soon to be husband want his father gawking at his nude wife to be??
    Too wierd!! She does have a great body though! Wish I had her butt! Boobs are overrated!
    As for Bunny Mom ~ I got nothing…
    Have a great 4th!
    Lou Cinda 🙂

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  13. Bless it! Hef looks so lost in that picture. Your friend Daisy is beautiful and I’m sure has the “total package”, which is much more appealing to men than just big, fake bosoms.

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  14. What’s wrong with these people? How do they manage to get through life? Oh…that’s right…never mind. (seeing a 97 Hef lurking in the background)
    On another topic…I just sent a nasty gram to the “voting gods” since my vote has been denied TWICE! How are you suppose to win if they aren’t letting us vote? Can’t wait to see their response! I’ll be sure to post it.

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  15. Just had to butt in to say that a girl who I’m at uni with has a mom who used to be a bunny. She was in a few mags and worked in a casino for about 10 years (maximum bunny shalf life) and married the casino’s pit boss. She’s still a great-looking lady in her 50s and is incredibly sweet. She’s half adopted those of us who’ve moved away for uni and makes sure we eat and shower during revision weeks. And she has a chemistry degree. So maybe some women just have it all.

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  16. I always laugh when I hear a guy say, “I am a leg man”, or “I look for the eyes”…C’mon. Men HAVE eyes and legs…
    Who would I choose in your picture? My answer is “D”…all of the above…
    Now back to my sty…

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  17. Paula,
    I agree Daisy is much prettier and more approachable, however, let’s be realistic… When Bridgette and Kendra are 80 those boobs will still be right where they’re at now (the silicone may be just a little harder).

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  18. I do not think Kendra is pretty at all. Her features are too sharp and her eyes are empty. I think there is an attractive way to dress to allow people to get a peek without an eyeful. Imagination. I want to know that people can see past the other stuff to know ME and when there is all that boob, you know what they are looking at. The fact that she is an ex-Bunny is why she has the boobs but I like your friends outfit better, she still looks sexy and you can notice her other features.
    I think Bunny Mom has a bunch of bunnies at home, and that is why she drives fast, because they are multiplying too fast and she has to rush home to feed them.

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  19. Well, Junie, after seeing the show, Kendra is, as you put it, spectacularly stupid. And frankly, Bridget and the others aren’t far behind! I know that my husband, for one, would choose substance over looks in a heartbeat.
    The question really is, what do the men want to LOOK at? They want to SEE the perfect boobs and perfect butt and no lumps. Ergo porno channels, magazines and airbrushed models and actresses. I think women like to see beautiful woman bodies as well. We hate them for it, but there ya go!
    However, what do men want to BE with is an entirely different thing. Just look at me! Overweight, very lumpy, but smart,creative, funny and game for almost anything! And I’m with a most adorable man 9 years my junior!
    Looky me tooting my own HORN! Ha!

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  20. Speaking of Bunny Mom, I frequently see a car with “TUNASACK” on its plates. Now what the hell is that all about?

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  21. I asked Kahuna what he thought and he looked at the picture looked at me and then back at the picture. Then in his most diplomatic way said well I’d choose the pretty one. You know the one that looks like you. I studied this picture and decided he was gay because the only one that I look remotely like is Hef.

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  22. There was a Duke that was a Daisy, and she most recently was played by Jessica Simpson, who “duh…what?” not the brightest.
    Anyway, I think men want Ginger, but can get Mary Ann. Actually, my husband would have left years ago, if I were high maintenance. We’re going out later to celebrate 8.5 years of marital bliss, and our 11th anniversary, I may put on lip gloss.
    Regarding the fake boobs, none of the men I know like them, of course in my family they aren’t needed. My brother’s wife got them, right before she got a boyfriend. She blamed my sisters and me for the need of them. She didn’t want to be the foreigner in Big Boob Land. I wonder where the fake boobs are being outfitted, I can never find a cute one for a small girl with big girls.

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  23. I am SO jealous of your friend Daisy in that picture. I would love to meet the Girls Next Door. And personally, Bridget is my favorite, because she’s beautiful, she’s not as “enhanced” as the other two, and she has a Masters degree.

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  24. Maybe she is “bunny mom” because she is very… prolific? Maybe she has a big ol’ herd of children at home, and she’s driving like that because she wants to end up in the hospital for a few days’ vacation.
    Or maybe that’s just me?
    As for the boobilicious ones, don’t worry about them getting old. People like that don’t die, they just get melted down into Legos. It goes Baby -> Bimbo -> Building Block. This is my theory.

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