Eleven! Eleven! Eleven. (Only Marvin will get that. And I will be really annoyed if he doesn’t read my blog today.)

Before I forget? Because you know I will? Comment of the week goes to Sharone. Do you think she pronounces her name "Sharon" and the "e" is silent, or is it pronounced Share-OWN? Things like this burn in my brain.

I am in my mother's basement. Everyone has a basement in Michigan; when I moved away from Michigan I realized basements are not commonplace everywhere else. Which makes me wonder where the rest of you made out with your boyfriends in high school. Cause it was where we all gravitated without hesitation.

I just remembered something funny about my friend Iain, the one who is moving to North Carolina soon. He and I were always friends in junior high and high school, and he would regularly come over and break things in our house. He was just kind of…gallumpy and accident-prone. My mother liked him anyway, and he always fixed what he broke.

The point is, we were in the basement one day and my mother shouted to me that we had to go. Or maybe she even did the "We're eating now, Iain" thing she would do to oh-so-subtly indicate he had to go home. Sometimes he ate with us, but he was on the swim team and therefore ate, like, 75 whole chickens by himself, and I think sometimes my mother simply hadn't done the enough-for-an-army cooking that Iain required.

Anyway. Iain shouted up to my mother, "Pam, give us a break. We're down here talking about my sex life." And my mother said, "Oh. Well, good. It won't take long, then."

Really one of her best comebacks.

So, I saw my Uncle Jim and I am glad I did. He and my Aunt Sue and several other family members came for dinner. Also, I got birthday presents, among them the lawn edger I asked for, because I am turning into my uncle, who is similarly obsessed with his yard looking perfect. He gave me some keeping-your-yard-perfect tips and now I want to drive home immediately and commence to edging. I do not know when I became this person.

Oh! And the other thing I forgot to mention yesterday, because I was so swept up in being in Akron, is that you know on my birthday? How I was just stuck in the car for nine hours, just me and my GPS? You know how I really had nothing to do in there? I FORGOT TO LISTEN FOR THE CLICK AT 4:52! HOWWWWWW could I forget? I was a CAPTIVE in my car!

Crap.

I will sign off now, because no one else can enter the basement due to my hair taking up the entire square footage, but I did want to say happy 11th anniversary to Marvin. This is the first anniversary we have spent apart. He did send the prettiest pink flowers you ever saw, which officially makes up for the whole ants-in-the-bed incident the other night.

So, thanks for marrying me, Marvin! You are a braver man than most! And hey, is that an ant on you?

25 Comments

  1. I’m making notes of your mom’s one-liners for when I have kids making out in my basement. My husband and I still sneak away to the basement for…um, making out, and stuff. It’s like being 16 again, only if you get caught the people who catch you can’t ground you, but you have to pay for their therapy for the rest of their lives.
    You got pink flowers? How sweet is Marvin!

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  2. Ok, it told me I posted a comment but now it doesn’t show up. Hmm.
    You are all a little bit right. Except the part where I was named after the song. I am pretty sure my parents never heard that song, although I’ve heard it about a jillion times. My name is pronounced like Sharona, but without the “uh” sound at the end. I think my parents thought the e at the end of my name would help with pronunciation, but mostly it just meant a long pause and then some kind of name-butchering on the first day of school. And I definitely did not get any personalized keychains, pens, bicycle license plates, or anything like that, although the fact that I had never in my life found one didn’t stop me from checking at every gift shop from the Redwood Forest to the Gulf Stream waters.
    I think I talk too much.

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  3. Now that I am a mom, I have vowed to never own a basement…or if I do, there will be security cameras. I know all about those Michigan basements!

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  4. Happy Anniversary, dear!
    11 is a good luck number. Should be a good year for you and Marvelous Marvin!
    I hope all is well with Uncle Jim and the rest of the fam-damily!
    xo,

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  5. Where? Do you really see an ant??? Don’t hurt it. I will capture it and call it my baby. Happy 11th my sweetheart.

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  6. Happy Anniversary! I think I should introduce myself to Sharone and we should form an internet club for girls with regular names and creative parents who add an e at the end thereby never allowing us the pleasure of having a personalized keychain, coffee mug or license plate for our bicycles. I am not bitter. Really. I’m not.

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  7. Happy 11th. Marvin rocks with the pink roses. Never had a basement but if I did I would fill it up with pictures of unknown dead people and invite you over so we could make up stories about them. How fun!
    In no basement Texas the car did/does the trick for the make out sessions. Of couse we drive trucks and trucks come with their own bed attached!

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  8. Maybe Sharone really is named after that great eighties classic, “My Sharona”, but her mom was hopped up on wine coolers in the basement making out with her high school boyfriend and misspelled it because of the booze and hormones.
    Happy Anniversary, you two!

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  9. Maybe Sharone really is named after that great eighties classic, “My Sharona”, but her mom was hopped up on wine coolers in the basement making out with her high school boyfriend and misspelled it because of the booze and hormones.
    Happy Anniversary, you two!

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  10. Maybe Sharone really is named after that great eighties classic, “My Sharona”, but her mom was hopped up on wine coolers in the basement making out with her high school boyfriend and misspelled it because of the booze and hormones.
    Happy Anniversary, you two!

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  11. I have never done a tornado drill. I always had a basement until I got married and moved. I miss having a basement.
    Happy Birthday/Anniversary! Sorry that the birthday wish is kind of late. But better late than never.
    I will be celebrating my very first anniversary with my husband tomorrow! And I feel like I already told you that. Oh well. I guess I’m repeating myself.
    I guess I’m repeating myself.
    (Did you catch that? You see, it’s funny because……)

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  12. Have you seen “New in Town” where Renee Zellweger has to move from Miami to Michigan? I thought you’d find it a little funny if you did.

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  13. Awwwww, Happy Anniversary to you two. Maybe Sharone is like Sharona. Just all fancy like with the “e” instead of “a”.

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  14. Smart move, getting married so close to your birthday. It kind of guarantees that either both or neither will get remembered.
    Happy anniversary.

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  15. lee thinks making out in a basement is scarier than making out in a car on a country road? Doesn’t she know that the latter is the setting for every single young-lovers-caught-alone-by-a-ghost/serial murderer/psycho story ever told?

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  16. Happy Anniversary, Hi Uncle Jim and Aunt Sue, Hi Mom!
    I am living in FL without a basement. It is such a foreign thing to me. Not only the whole “where do you make out with your boyfriend” thing, but where the heck do you put all your crap? I guess the point is you should not have so much crap.
    Sorry you missed 4:52.

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  17. Happy Anniversary!!!! Nice job over there, Marvin, with the pretty pink flowers and all! Too bad you couldn’t/wouldn’t go with June to MI…you could have made out in her Mom’s basement.
    I was never brave enough to make out in a basement. Only cars. On country roads.
    Have a GREAT visit, June! Safe travels to you!

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  18. As a former Michigander, the other thing that I didn’t realize was that not everybody has tornado drills (hide under the desk or facing the wall, cover your head & neck with a book) in school. We used to do them at least twice a year in elementary school. After college, I worked at a school in upstate NY, and after a fire drill one day, I asked my supervisor when we were practicing tornado drills. She looked at me like I was crazy, and had absolutely no idea what I was talking about!
    Happy anniversary!

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  19. I come from the state of No Basements. We made out in our cars in front of our house. Do you know how hard it is to kiss someone from your car leaning out the window into his car? Especially when you hit the power window button because you are getting all heated up with your 16 year old hormones and all.

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  20. As a life-long basement-haver, I don’t know how people can live without all the extra space. Our basement holds our washer and dryer, furnace, hot water heater, my office, the cat litter, a storage room, our third bathroom, another storage room, our second fridge, and a big finished playroom for the kids (their computer, a TV, chairs, couch). Yeah it’s kind of dark down here, and occasionally we get water (usually because the gutters are clogged or it rains when the ground is frozen), but it’s lots of usuable space. And it’s where we hunker down when a tornado comes by! But we aren’t allowed to count the basement space in square footage calculations; maybe this is why I’m always confused by home shows on TV talking about “only 2000 square feet” when we have far less than that officially (but more than that if we count the basement).

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  21. Happy Ant-iversary!
    Bet he’s just itching to see you!
    He should go marching two by two to spend the day with you!
    Over the hills and such.
    Ok, I’m done.

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