I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you read my blog anyway.

Hey, remember in June and July when all I did was torment you about voting for me in that ding-dang Funniest Blogger contest? Well, yesterday they officially announced the winners! And I wasn't one of them!

So, there you go. I did not win. My blog sucks. If you want to write in and tell me I was robbed, go right ahead. However, don't say anything bad about any of the other contestants, because I have made friends with some of them, and I know one of my friends won Funniest Blogger, and her blog totally rocks.

But THANK YOU SO MUCH for voting for me! I was excited to get into the top five! You guys should win an award for best faithful readers and voters, is what I say.

In other news, since it was just recently my wedding anniversary with the charming and not-at-all-obsessed-with-Gatorade Marvin Blueberry Gardens, I added yet another picture to our Anniversary Memory Book and decided to share my photos with you. The lucky reader. Of a loser blog. Good job!

Someone got us this Anniversary Memory Book for a wedding gift, and it has been the gift that keeps on giving. Every year, you add a current picture, and on the other side of the page you write where you lived and how much rent you paid, where you worked, things that happened that year, etc.

We have made a point of taking our photo exactly on our anniversary each year, and you will see that Marvin has been equally faithful to his shirt choices each year. Because no one gets a charge out himself more than Marvin.


Okay, he never repeats this outfit. Seeing as he rented it. This would be our wedding day, Sherlock. I am sorry to tell you that I have recently begun looking at our wedding photos and thinking, "My God, we look young." I think I kind of have alcohol face here. I drank a lot more than I do now, and to me I look bloaty. And what was with the whole Where the Red Fern Grows action around our cake, there? I never noticed all that…growth until this second.


Yearone 001

Hey, look! Alcohol face has a beer! What you may enjoy about these photos is my consistency of hair color. I do not know why I keep thinking that red will be a good idea. I am seldom correct on this. Anyway, in case you were curious, we took an antique train ride for our anniversary. It was cool.

(As an aside? All day today I have been smelling Agree shampoo. It comes and goes. Why do I keep SMELLING it?)


Twoyears 001

Ah, now see, during THIS year I was training for a marathon. Look how slim and bloaty-free my face was. Note Marvin's shirt from year one to two. Also? I made him stop wearing those Tom Sawyer shorts shortly after this. (We had moved into that cool apartment I told you about. The one with the annoying Italian guy upstairs. Look at the corner cabinet! How I loved it there.)


Three 001

I look all curvaceous. And a little jowly. At least Marvin has changed his shirt. I remember that the annoying Italian took this picture.


Four 001

Ah! The return of the shirt. Yes. Also, what's more flattering than the we-are-taking-this-photo-ourselves double chin action that Marvin's got going? I guess we hated the Italian enough at this point that we couldn't ask him to snap us.


Five 001

Our cleaning lady took this picture, in her living room. She lived across the street. We eventually became really good friends, which did not bode well for her cleaning my house, because she felt perfectly justified in yelling at me about what a slob I was. At least I change my shirt.


Six 001

See what we did there? We had ME put on the shirt. Why does Marvin look terrified? Look at how much light we got in that apartment. Did I mention it was my favorite place, ever? Did I mention the Italian ruined my life?


Seven 001

Okay, truthfully? We HATED EACH OTHER for most of year seven. I'm not sure why. We moved, as is probably evident from the modern look of the room behind us, to a house in Burbank. This was the spare room, and it was the room where I started blogging. Good times. I mean, other than the part where we hated each other. (I would like to point out that although the stripy shirt is gone, Marvin has pulled out year three's shirt.)


Eight 001

And he pulled it out again. So to speak. I love love love my hair in this shot. We still live in Burbank, and if you look carefully, you can see the mountains in Griffith Park behind us.


Nine 001

So, yeah. This was the year we didn't spend any money. When some of you got to know me via Bye Bye Buy, my first blog. LOOK HOW BAD MY HAIR LOOKS because I am no longer gettin' those $300 haircuts and 9 million dollar color jobs. This was some red from a box of L'Oreal. Not a good advertisement for them. Now I miss that house in Burbank.



We went back to the place we got married. I am cracking up, because I just noticed Marvin's shirt in year 10…



And this year's shirt. I know he didn't even mean to do it this time. Oh, that's funny.

Well, that sums us up. Eleven years. One of them crappy. But not as crappy as this blog, apparently.


Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

52 thoughts on “I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you read my blog anyway.”

  1. The shirt thing cracks me up, because I have shirts (yes, plural) today that I still wear that were purchased for my HONEYMOON!
    I also have this ratty tank top that the ex HATED…threatened to throw out every time it was in the laundry…
    I still have the tank, I do NOT have the wife…I WIN!!!


  2. you were totally robbed, as was i! But… Happy Anniv. to you & can i mention i really like your hair in year 10!!! i have read that year 7 is the worst & when many divorces happen- congrats on making it past that!


  3. Aw, that’s the coolest idea. And by the way, you were ROBBED. I’m OUTRAGED. Blah blah blah. ๐Ÿ™‚


  4. a) I am outraged at the way you were robbed.
    b) I was not aware that you and Marvin got married at 14.
    c) There’s always next year!


  5. What a great way to celebrate your anniversary year ater year. I love Marvin’s repeat performance each year, he is all about consistency, isn’t he? Hau’oli la Ho’omana’o! (Happy Anniversary in Hawaiian)
    You are still the funniest blogger to us, June!


  6. Great post June. Loved the photos. So glad you made it beyond crappy year seven.
    I agree with misschell about your cute hair in year 10!
    Who cares about the contest, anyway? It was dumb, and you are funny as hell!


  7. Great post June. Loved the photos. So glad you made it beyond crappy year seven.
    I agree with misschell about your cute hair in year 10!
    Who cares about the contest, anyway? It was dumb, and you are funny as hell!


  8. In year 7 photo, it’s the only year you aren’t wrapped around each other for the picture!
    Now, enough studying of your social behaviors, I must go magic eraser then entire house.


  9. I am in year 7. I’m digging my guy so far, so, PHEW!! It was year one that I wanted to drown him! Ha!
    Loved the photos! Adorable. You are a very, very cute couple.


  10. So for the year 9 picture, you were moving to Tinytown, and year 10 you had just bought your bodaceous house. Does is feel at all weird to have total strangers (harmless in my case) know details about your life?
    And speaking of details of your life, you say you started blogging in year 7…when are you going to post “June Cutoff Cash Gardensalad, the Lost Years” in blog format for those of us who can’t get enough?
    PS You were robbed. I was going to search the other 4 blogs to see who did win, but decided I really don’t care. You’re still number 1 with me.


  11. what a fun thing to do! i wish we had thought of that. year 23 and counting. oy.
    so…do you still own the kitchen table from year 2? i luvr it! i want it! lol.
    congrats on being a loser. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ


  12. In year eight you look very much like your mom, especially in the photo you just put up last week. With her and her sparkly aapron.
    We had a rocky year 7 as well. If we didn’t have a two year old I would have been SO OUT OF HERE! But I’m glad I stayed.
    I would like to request a post about why you two hated one another in year 7. Did Michael Jackson have something to do with it???
    You were robbed. SCREW THEM!!! They don’t know funny. If yours is a loser blog than I must be a loser and I am completely content with that, so SCREW THEM!
    Alright, I need to go rid my house of all Swiffer related cleaning items. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  13. Now that you mention it, year 7 was crappy for us, too. We just celebrated #19 on Monday. Sorry you didn’t win. You’re still funny as all get out.


  14. Love the changes in hair and your spectacles! You crack me up everyday, June. In my eyes you are the winner!!
    P.S. You are neglecting to post obligatory animal pictures!!!


  15. I love that Marvin wears the same shirt… because Mr Hyphen would SO do that… but not on purpose, it would just be that out of the 48 OTHER shirts in his drawers, he’d continually choose that gawd-awful ugly yellow XXX t-shirt he has continued to embarrass me over for the last 10 years.
    p.s. You ARE the funniest blogger. EVER.


  16. They didn’t want a blog in good taste, they wanted one that tasted good? Or something like that? Maybe I didn’t vote often enough? The stars were in imperfect alignment? Yours is the funniest, most appealing blog on my list.
    I’m glad you survived the ‘7 year itch’ and moved on to happier days with the animals so we could share. Thanks.


  17. I also found your blog through the contest, and I’m very glad I did. You’re very funny and down-to-earth. Congratulations to you and Marvin, may you have many more happy anniversaries to come!


  18. I LOVE this idea! I hate that we didn’t think of it three years ago! But we would only be missing our 1st and 2nd anniversaries, I have pictures from our wedding day and our 3rd is in October. I’m so getting a book like that and stealing this idea from you.


  19. I was happy to see that on the rare time Marvin switched out his shirt it was for a Dodger one.
    You’re still pretty funny for a blog that lost.


  20. Okay, now I’m annoyed that we’ve had 34 anniversaries and we had no idea we were supposed to be taking our picture! Perhaps if someone had just given us the memory book…


  21. The Hulk cracks me up. June you are so ding dang diddly CUTE in your wedding photo! I’m gald I saw this, now I can do it too. Only since we are both so nomadic it will probably be a series of photos of us individually in seperate states, photoshopped together. I’m glad you made it past the dodgy 7.


  22. Well that was a fun trip down memory lane. Except I have no memories of the lane. But you do. And that’s the point. SO.
    You so should have won that contest. Hands down. HMPH. Maybe next year.
    Happy anniversary!


  23. well, if it’s any reassurance, we are about to celebrate year 7 and it’s already looking at the very least stressful, poor, and….. oh yeah, stressful. yay for 7!
    p.s. what do you care if you won their silly award? they couldn’t even keep their contest straight, it took them forever to eliminate multiple nominations of you, and quite frankly, with dodgy contest management like that, it wouldn’t surprise me if some of your votes had been lost.


  24. Happy Anniversary!
    And, if it’s any consolation, the awards party wasn’t much fun, they ran out of swag, and they obviously have horrible taste:)
    Ah well, you are still funny, and I am glad I found ya, and I LOVE your comments!


  25. Exactly how did your Italian neighbor ruin your life? There’s a June-esque story there and I would hate to miss it. You were robbed of funniest blog, girl! Absolutely robbed! Oh- I like that you keep it real about your year #7; most people whitewash the whole marriage thing. ๐Ÿ™‚


  26. You are the biggest loser, June! Nobody cares about that stupid award (until nest year anyway) and you won the booby prize by getting all these great new readers.
    So have a Cakester and a margarita, tune into the doggie cam and peruse your fabulous album of your wonderful life. Cheers! You’re a loser, baby!


  27. You are the biggest loser, June! Nobody cares about that stupid award (until nest year anyway) and you won the booby prize by getting all these great new readers.
    So have a Cakester and a margarita, tune into the doggie cam and peruse your fabulous album of your wonderful life. Cheers! You’re a loser, baby!


  28. You are the biggest loser, June! Nobody cares about that stupid award (until nest year anyway) and you won the booby prize by getting all these great new readers.
    So have a Cakester and a margarita, tune into the doggie cam and peruse your fabulous album of your wonderful life. Cheers! You’re a loser, baby!


  29. Okay, I think we shop at the same stores. That, or I’ve been buying your clothes second-hand.
    a) I had that SAME sunflower sundress that you are wearing in your ‘year one’ picture.
    b) Your wedding dress looks A LOT like mine. Did you sell it after you got married? We got married in ’99, so if you did, it’s possible I wore your dress.
    I’m going to find pictures to prove it to you.


  30. I can’t believe it has been that long. You two really fit each other. Congrats on making the top 5! It really is more about taking part in life than winning isn’t it? Hope to catch up soon. Smiles ๐Ÿ™‚


  31. Happy belated anniversary! I, too, think you were robbed – I laughed ’til I cried at this post. (Just discovered your blog a few days ago and have been slowly reading your past posts.)
    Married 36 years and I definitely think it the last 10 have been the best. Hang in there!


  32. That is the best idea ever to take a picture on each anniversary. Glad you guys hung in there during year seven. We have had a couple of years like that. It is actually a miracle that I am not on the bottom of some lake wrapped in fishing line while he told my mother I had a little accident while fishing.


  33. You were totally robbed. I voted like ninety million times for you. Must be rigged.
    Thanks for sharing the photos. That anniversary book sounds like an awesome present. I do love the reoccurring shirt.


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