It is 10 o'clock at night and I just barely got here, mister. That's what Marvin's students used to say to him when he substitute taught back in LA. He'd say, "Okay, everyone get out your books" and the students would be mad that he wanted to start with the learning, you know, right away. "I just barely got here, mister!"

But really I did just barely get here. I met up with the other June–or got up with her, as they say here in the South. "I'll get up with you next week, over yonder! I just barely got here!"

Anyway, the other June and I went to a class in Australian wine today. They made us drink upside down. BAH! Cause, see, Australia is on the other side of the earth? And the toilet water swirls the other way? Cause it's on the other side? On the other side of the mountain? Did you ever see that depressing movie, The Other Side of the Mountain? Sad. I have never skied because of that movie. Well, that and I don't care for careening down icy vertical pieces of land.

But, really. There is all sorts of fancy wine in Australia and apparently they wanted to serve us 92,000 sips of it. I eventually asked for a thingamabob to toss out some of my wine, because they were giving us so much and I had to drive home, for heaven's sake. And go to work. And not make out with the other June and lift my shirt to get beads and such. Crones Gone Wild!

So when I got here, I sat down at the computer, as I am wont to do, and I noticed I couldn't access the web cam. Y'all know how I can love me the web cam if the mood is right. So I called to poor Marvin, "WHERE'S THE WEB CAM?" Of course, he had no idea. So I fishwifed him in here and made him locate the dang thing, then I realized I really didn't NEED the web cam, but now I felt like I had to use it or lose it. And by "it" I mean my front gumline, seeing as Marvin hauled himself in here and looked at 8493048459038585 doo-dads on our computer.

Justjack

Hey! Hi! Its me! With Jimmy Page's hair!

Then I decided it'd be more interesting to take pictures of me and the pets. Junesie and the pussycats, as it were.

Henme Hen stare at you. Hen hate life with Jimmy Page. Please come get Hen.

Winnieme DOOOooo go on, mother. Tell me everything. Once you get your cornea out of my eyebrow whisker, I mean.

Meandlu Heyyy! Lula not pussycat! Why I here in web cam?

There is nothing better than kissing Tallulah's velvety ear. You must trust me on this. Also too, when I dropped Tallulah off at dog day care this morning, there were THIRTY-SIX Jack Russell terriers there! They have been rescued and all need adopting!! How cute was it to walk in on THIRTY-SIX Jack Russells? Of course Marvin said no. Have you met his stone heart?

I'd link you to dog daycare's web cam again, but Marvin said tonight all the dogs were gone, gettin' fixed. Gettin' some snippage. My sack's barely got here, mister!

Horrifiedfran
Okay, really? You thought I was gonna pick up all 260 pounds of Francis and bring him into the room where the evil DOG is and take his picture with the web cam? I appreciate my aorta, thank you. Did not want it dug out by cat claws. But look how happy Fran looks to pose with me! Not at all terrified and bleak about life!

Okay, I must rest. I'm just barely getting there, REM stage!

0 thoughts on “Down under

  1. lee says:

    36 jack russells? i hope they had a jumbo bottle of xanax forthe workers. i have a jack rusell, and i swear, he drives me to drink!
    i linked to the web cam at doggie day care. when the dogs thought no one was looking, they played pool and snoop dogg brought over some ganja. later they played poker. i think tallullah was counting cards.
    do people where you live say “fixina” as in “i’m fixina go to the wal-mart and get me some potted meat, cuz cumpnees comin’?”, or is it just a mississippi thing?

    Like

  2. Gardenqueen says:

    Have you ever been near a Jack Russell terrier? Dogs on crack, crystal meth, speed with an energy drink on top. I don’t think anyone who gets one knows what they’re in for.

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  3. lee says:

    I would like to officially request that June do write a post at least once per week whilst hopped up on wine. That was STELLAR!

    Like

  4. Sleeping Beauty says:

    You look younger this year than you did last year on your birthday! Did you make some kinda deal with the devil?

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  5. Maureen in IL says:

    Falling out of my chair laughing @ Crones Gone Wild! And what is it with the dog paw sniffing? I love my dog dearly, and even love his doggy smell, but I can not bring myself to smell his paws. Seems a bit risky.

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  6. Hyphen Mama says:

    LOVE the shirt. Am googling where I might one for my ownself.
    Crones Gone Wild!!! Do you have these thoughts in your head and you just wait until the right minute to pop them out, or does it just come to you like RIGHT when you need it?
    36 Jack Russells!!! My brother used to have 2 and HOLY HECK they possessed enough energy to run Manhattan for 730 days.

    Like

  7. KW in Atlanta says:

    I bet when The Accidental Housewife says
    dog’s doodle it sounds really pretty!
    I must admit I am surprised as to how many of you go around sniffing your mutts’ paws.
    And finally, most wine tastings I’ve gone to they are really greedy with the wine. As if it were oil, or liguid gold, or breast milk.

    Like

  8. June says:

    It’d be nice to have a blind neighbor. You could walk around naked. On that side of the house.

    Like

  9. Nancy McKee says:

    Okay….you are all very cute but I’m still on Team Henry !!!

    Like

  10. Aunt Becky says:

    you are too funny!

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  11. Juice says:

    Dog’s feet do smell like Fritos. Kind of stinky. My blind neighbor swears it’s the nails being worn down, but I don’t believe him.

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  12. Rebekah says:

    I just want to say that, “I love your brain!” And without you I think my life would be awfully dull. I’m trying reeeaaally hard not to guffaw at this post because I want my 2 and 4 year old to continue napping but I absolutely MUST read it again. (keeping my fingers crossed)

    Like

  13. Sue says:

    My dog is so stupid that he pees on his feet sometimes. I’ve never attempted to smell them. Also, his ears feel like velvet too, so soft. He is a Vizsla and even though he is the dumbest dog we have ever owned, I love him to death.

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  14. Your Pal from MA says:

    My dogs’ feet smell like popcorn. Love that smell.
    Loved the pics of your furry babies. They are all adorable. Even cranky Frannie! He actually looked content in that photo!

    Like

  15. Gladys says:

    Hey I just barely got here and your all out and random with the pussycats.
    So do you have any wines to whine about or any to recommend?

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  16. Jessica S. says:

    Love your shirt! Cute!
    Did you see the article in the paper about the dogs too? Soo cute!!!

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  17. Paula FNY, D says:

    “Crones gone wild.”
    Dying here.

    Like

  18. Erin says:

    Bahaha. Dog’s doodle.
    My husband says ‘over top of,’ rather than on top of or over, which I had thought was just what they said in Michigan, but now I’m hearing other people say it too. Do you say it?

    Like

  19. Mary, I’ve heard many people say that dog feet smell like Fritos. I’m scared to test it because I fear I’ll pick the one day the dog took her feet and ran through a poop field or something. Wonder what it is that makes all dog feet smells like Fritos?
    June, next time you take Lula to dog day care, you should take pictures with the Jack Russells. I want to come adopt one. I dont’ think my husband will be keen on travelling to NC to adopt a Jack Russell though. We’ve got lots of adoptable dogs up here in DC. But I do heart Jack Russells.

    Like

  20. Hulk says:

    Sung to the tune of Tennessee Ernie Ford’s “16 Tons”:
    “You drink 16 wines and a-whatta get? Jimmy Page’s hair and pictures of pets.”

    Like

  21. Betty in NC says:

    OH! The Other Side of The Mountain…remember when he died?? I could cry just thinking about it! That poor woman could not catch a break!
    Love how your stories always seem to take me down memory lane…our pasts are eerily similar…kinda creepy like but they always make me laugh. You were robbed out of the Funniest Blog Award!! Have we demanded a recount??

    Like

  22. Kelly says:

    I’ve always thought people who had pets were more kind hearted than people who don’t have any pets. I don’t know why, I’m not that sweet and I have a dog. Have you seen that ASPCA commercial with Sarah Mclachlan? Makes me want to rush out and bring him every animal in the shelter. Love the post with your zoo and I think your hair looks great.

    Like

  23. Barb says:

    Love the pictures of the kids. Are tuxedo cats naturally a little crabby looking??? My Hailey could be a twin to Francis. I try to cheer her up especially at photo sessions and she always comes out looking so cranky!!!! My Paisley could be a twin with Henry. Always cheery and ready for any photo op!!

    Like

  24. Amy says:

    Did you post something? I made it to Henry’s picture and then something about his eyes mesmerized me and now I am not sure where I am. Why so intense Henry?

    Like

  25. June says:

    You know, everyone, I MEANT to post this this morning, not last night. Sorry for innundating you with posts. Imagine my suprise to wake up and already have 11 comments on this.
    That said, “dog’s doodle” is my new favorite phrase.

    Like

  26. OMG! A post about Australia! I’m so excited! We tend to think you important American people overlook us little colonial types, perhaps get us confused with Austria. Are you sure it was not a beer and strudel tasting night?
    I love Western Australian wines. They always have cheeky names like ‘5th leg’. I have no idea why you would name a wine after a dogs doodle, but clearly they know their market. Which would be me.

    Like

  27. PJ says:

    That WAS Jimmy Pages hair!

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  28. Susanne says:

    June, I think your hair looks real purty today.

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  29. Mary says:

    Was this a different post earlier today or am I losing my mind again? I thought there was mention of the doggie day care but there were no pics – tell me you changed things up and I’m not just nutso.
    Also, I know what you mean about dog ears – but have you ever smelled her feet? Dog feet smell like fritos. Check it out –

    Like

  30. Leah says:

    June! I had a dream about you the other night! I keep forgetting to tell you about this. In the dream you worked in an anthropology type store. You were still you…June the blogger though. I bought a CD and you rung up the purchase but then your shift ended and another girl came and put my CD in a bag. Then you came to my side of the counter and showed me your shoes. They were really cute flats and I ended up buying a pair and a coin purse. Then we said goodbye and I went and sat on a nice comfy couch that was in the store as if I were at a coffee shop. End of dream. Wierd right? I haven’t bought a CD in years! No more reading your blog before I go to bed.

    Like

  31. susan says:

    pretty snarky t-shirt there!
    love the babies & their thoughts!

    Like

  32. Laurie S. says:

    Fran’s coloring does give her a frowny-sad look, doesn’t it?
    So you won’t be adding a pic with a Jack Russell terrier next week, eh?

    Like

  33. Sugar Mommy says:

    Oh that Winston. That’s my kind of cat.

    Like

  34. Kellye Who Has Watched The Same Movies as June says:

    Yes I remember the movie Other Side of the Mountain. Remember when she worked so hard at her rehab and invited her boyfriend to see that she could pick up a potato chip. He wanted her to walk not eat chips and he dumped her. So so sad.

    Like

  35. Tanya says:

    Junesie and the pussycats = CLASSIC.
    P.s. Want me to send you some Australian wine?

    Like

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