Mona Lisa in yoga class. It’s just a funny visual.

I stayed up till 11:00 last night to watch Mad Men, so you know I have no personality today. I will be brief and to the point. It'll be like a man wrote this. 1) How is everyone doing on The Fountainhead? I am almost done. I have enjoyed it. That's all I'm saying until … Continue reading Mona Lisa in yoga class. It’s just a funny visual.

Twit

Faithful Reader Karen sent me these lovely photos of me at Halloween in 1992. Her brother had this annual Halloween party that was to die for. In case you can't figure it out, I was Madonna. And also Dignified. That is my pal Sleeping Beauty's boyfriend at the time, helping himself to one of my … Continue reading Twit

I got 99 problems but a tooth ain’t one

Tallulah: Lula look out window to earn keep and Henry do it too. Otherwise, Big Hair throw us out. Francis told Lula! Believe it or not, I am not going to complain about any physical discomfort today. Instead, I have 7845648784568173495844**475%46f5854redrum!redrum!896-038 topics to cover, and I'm certain this won't be an annoying or disjointed post … Continue reading I got 99 problems but a tooth ain’t one

It’s a small intestine after all

Have you wondered where I've been all day? Or have you been going about your life, indifferent to my stupid blog? I'll tell you where I've been all day, oh Indifferent One. I've been TRYING NOT TO BARF, that's where I've been! Because it's not bad enough that I had a tooth extracted. It's not … Continue reading It’s a small intestine after all

This whole dental thing just gets more charming

Guess who has a dry socket!? No wonder it hurt like the dickens. The dentist said I was very tough. He said my mouth looked really painful, and then the part where he TREATED the dry socket? He said most people bust out of the chair, and I only winced. I am tough. Anyway, the good news is … Continue reading This whole dental thing just gets more charming

In a gadda da vida. Or, five pictures of Tallulah’s tongue.

Clearly I am obsessed with showing you photos from my pink surprise party I threw for myself five years ago. This was the part where I went outside and came back in and made everyone yell, "SURPRISE!" Boy. What a shock. I just had no idea. Do you wonder why I have any friends at … Continue reading In a gadda da vida. Or, five pictures of Tallulah’s tongue.

We admitted we were powerless

Before I talk about my hair, which I'm sure you're thrilled I'm going to discuss again, let's talk about tonight's Martha Washington/Ma Ingalls/Annie Oakley evening I had, over here. I got home from work and Marvin was already home, pleased as punch with himself as he always is. I stampeded to the refrigerator, as I … Continue reading We admitted we were powerless

Do you know what I am glad about? I am glad people have pretty much stopped saying “chi-chi” when they mean fancy.

Okay! So Sunday dawned bright and early, as opposed to Sunday dawning at noon, like we're in Finland or something, and I got ready for CHI experience number two. I don't mean that I pooped on my CHI. I mean that, if you'll recall, last time I tried this supposedly miraculous hair-straightening tool that cost … Continue reading Do you know what I am glad about? I am glad people have pretty much stopped saying “chi-chi” when they mean fancy.

A little butterine never hurt anyone

If anyone were to ask, "Who is June?" this photo pretty much sums it up. Wearing pink, liking drama, being the center of attention, eating something terrible for me. Yep. I know I have shown you pictures from this pink party before. This was my 39th birthday, when we still lived in LA in my … Continue reading A little butterine never hurt anyone