In which I discuss smells a lot

It's 8:30 at night and I am bored. Marvin is in there watching a Kate Bush documentary.

Do you know what Kate Bush sounds like? You know the part where I'm not allowed to sing in the house? Imagine how much I'm not allowed to imitate Kate Bush in the house. Once I sang Wuthering Heights and Marvin told me to never do that again. Which of course makes me want to do it ALL THE TIME.

So I just sang Running Up That Hill to get his goat, and now I am banished to the computer room.

I wonder what this room used to be before computers became a thing you absolutely had to have a room for? I mean, way way back, this room was a side porch. Which would be nice to still have, if you ask me. I could still do computer-y things if it were all screened in in here, right? I mean, other than when it's snowing.

Before I got banished, I was in the living room looking for a book to read, but instead I found a bookworm.

Booky

Look how he ALWAYS has a snotty expression these days. Do you think he's going through his snide teen years? Am I, like, so embarrassing?

The Egg and I is a really good book, by the way. It is on Henry's left, there.

Did you ever read The Lovely Bones? It's about a girl who was killed, which sounds like it'd be awfully depressing to read, but it's an uplifting book. I swear. In the book, the girl is in heaven, and everyone's heaven smells different. I forget what hers smells like–maybe burning leaves? But for each person, heaven smells like their favorite smell.

Naturally I got sidetracked when I read the book, wondering what my heaven would smell like. My first instinct was Vicks VapoRub. Cause, come on, Vicks VapoRub smells really, really good. Then I wondered if I'd get tired of it, so I thought of maybe a lavender field.

Sometimes I like what it smells like after it rains, which it's doing here tonight, but sometimes it just smells like worms after it rains, and what if I got stuck with that smell for all eternity?

Ooo, what about vanilla? Like, real vanilla? There is this vanilla bourbon perfume I like that I used to buy at Uncle Jer's in LA, and I just found that they have some at my local Anthropologie store. I plan to buy some when the fall comes because it smells so ding-dang good. It is the only perfume I have ever used up. Twice. Why didn't I buy it right away when I saw it the other day? Now I want to dash down to Anthropologie and get it forthwith.

Okay, so could my heaven vary, and smell like Vicks some days, lavender on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then vanilla bourbon on weekends or something?

What would your heaven smell like?

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Author: June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

72 thoughts on “In which I discuss smells a lot”

  1. My heaven would certainly smell like a bakery. Fresh bread, cookies, pies, everything I really shouldn’t eat but would really love to!

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  2. I thought The Lovely Bones was pretty good, although the ending could have been better. I love how Henry’s sitting right behind a book by Henry James. What is The Egg and I about? My Heaven would smell like the autumn wind. Holy cow, my post is really random.

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  3. Hey, look! Hen’s a catalogue! *snort*
    I would smell cake. ‘Cause, come on, who doesn’t like cake? The only fragrance I wear is Palmer’s Cocoa Butter lotion because when I pass, people say, “Mmmmmmm, do you smell cake?”

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  4. Hey, look! Hen’s a catalogue! *snort*
    I would smell cake. ‘Cause, come on, who doesn’t like cake? The only fragrance I wear is Palmer’s Cocoa Butter lotion because when I pass, people say, “Mmmmmmm, do you smell cake?”

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  5. Hey, look! Hen’s a catalogue! *snort*
    I would smell cake. ‘Cause, come on, who doesn’t like cake? The only fragrance I wear is Palmer’s Cocoa Butter lotion because when I pass, people say, “Mmmmmmm, do you smell cake?”

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  6. June, I once knew a girl who used to dab vanilla extract behind her ears. Guys flocked to her; I think it was a subliminal message that she must know how to bake.
    A fifth of bourbon and a bottle of vanilla extract might just do the trick for you.

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  7. Grilling meat, bonfire, burning leaves, cut grass…
    Or the smell of a beautiful woman on your clothes after a heavy makout session…
    C’mon~Hulk has a tender side, too…

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  8. June, can you give more info on this perfume??
    What is the name? It sounds yummy and I need to buy myself something. Love the little bookworm……He’s everywhere!

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  9. Like you, I expected The Lovely Bones to be depressing, and was pleased that it really wasn’t! It was difficult, however, since I spent most of the book wondering if my heaven would smell like magic markers or gasoline.

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  10. liked that book also! i was going to say lilac but then that reminded me of the lilac spray that my Grandma used & how it always smelled like a lilac bush someone took a crap under when she came out of the bathroom, so i’ll go with the scent of white cake baking- thankfully, i have no poop stories associated with that!

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  11. I love that book. My heaven would smell like lemons and apples…the smell of fruit calms me for some reason.
    That picture of Henry is so cute, he sure gets around. It’s like Where’s Waldo.

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  12. When I was in college (major:cave painting), I gave my bf a Kate Bush tape (and in those days, money to buy new tapes was hard to come by). His roomate pulled it all apart less than a day later – he thought it said Kate Smith (as in Your a Grand Old Flag, or whichever patriotic song she sings…) I was livid! So, our Kate Bush days were numbered. June- is that Know it All about the guy who read the encyclopedia? I almost picked that up at Borders last week..was it good?

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  13. The Egg and I would be a really good book, because the movie is great. I’m totally hooked on all of those Ma and Pa Kettle movies and everyone I know finds it super strange as I am only 23.
    I found the lovely bones sitting on a table once at the library and I sat down in between classes and read it in like 2.5 hours…I was so consumed by the book. I’m not sure what my heaven would smell like, but I thought about it as I was reading it too. I think it would smell like Downy or Dove soap….I think those smell so good.

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  14. My heaven would smell like the neck of my somebody special…right after he comes out of the shower. It’s that spot my nose always seems to land on when he holds me close….sigh….

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  15. Fresh cut grass and vanilla would be heavenly. The Egg and I is a great book! I read it more than once when I was being raised out in the sticks. I hated the the rural-ness of my youth but I loved to read about other people in the sticks where the characters were much more colorful and less in my face! Two of my other favorite re-reads during my internment (childhood) were A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Cricket Smith.

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  16. June – when mocking your husband’s love of Kate Bush, you should add the upward, sidewards stare and the wave-like hand motions because it will get you thrown out of the room in half the time. Trust me on this.
    freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

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  17. I love Kate Bush! Woman’s Work is my favorite. I love the smell of fresh cut grass, and how it smells when you go for a ride in the country with the windows down (clover maybe?)I also love the smell of original Downy and Happy perfume.

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  18. What a great book, had forgotten that one. My heaven would smell like a sweet baby, just after a bath. Or spaghetti sauce with lots of garlic. I do love me some garlic. Henry’s attitude seems in tune with that of my 15 year old, so I’m guessing his teenage years are upon us…how quickly they grow!

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  19. I think God is a creative and generous God. So you probably get to have a different awesome smell every day. I like the smell of a wood fire on the first cold autumn night. And I like long walks on the beach and snuggling during a movie. Wait, is this eharmony?
    The Lovely Bones was good. I tried to read her first book (Lucky) and I couldn’t get through it. Too disturbing and sad (and true – it’s her memoir). Hey June, since you’re such a bookworm are you on Goodreads?

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  20. I’d say it’s a smarmy look Hen’s got. And teenagers, cats and humans, are good at it. This too shall pass…sigh.
    Cinnamon is my go to scent. I’m going to try the vanilla extract behind the ears thing. I’ll get back with ya’ll on it’s effectiveness.

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  21. Hen is so over you. You are just Big Hair home to feed him.
    The Lovely Bones was a good book. Have you read The Time Traveler’s Wife? I am rereading to prepare for the movie. Good book. Also a good book? The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Trust me. It’s riveting.
    My heaven would smell like a load of whites, fresh out of the dryer, all warm and smelling like Tide, Downey and bleach. I think that is my favorite smell hands down. For that reason I love me some laundromat. I will take big things to a laundromat on purpose to walk into that smell.

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  22. I really need to take notes while reading your posts.
    Once in my 20’s a guy was into me, so he made me a Kate Bush ‘tape’. Remember tapes? Her voice made the neighborhood cats come around thinking there was something 1)dying or 2)in heat. The only song I could listen to was Running Up That Hill.
    I think Henry is pointing you towards The Know it All book.

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  23. My heaven would smell like gingerbread cooking. I love that spicy, bakey smell.
    The Egg and I is an excellent book. I did not like The Lovely Bones and have no clue who Kate Bush is. I’m old. What do you expect? Does she sound or look like Barry Gibb? No? Then who cares?

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  24. ok this is too weird for me. all of these people who loved lovely bones. i guess i’m the only person on earth who didn’t like it. i read it a long time ago and the one thing that stands out to me is how she comes back to earth in someone else’s body so that she can have sex with some boy that she liked? ummm seriously? i mean, i know she was tragically killed as a girl, so maybe that was her big one regret, but i dunno… if i’m dead, sex seems to be a low priority to me. then again, i’m pregnant with my 3rd kiddo, so maybe sex is my priority now so i don’t have to worry about it when i’m dead. how’s this for commenting? i should probably stop writing now.
    oh, except to say that my heaven would alternate between days of chocolate cake, my husband’s shower soap, the good after the rain smell, and the smell of fall.
    oh and for some extra added randomness, i heard that one of the state fairs has come to an all new low of its tasty treats on a stick…. bacon, covered in chocolate, on a stick. seriously.

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  25. My heaven would smell like Christmas trees. Not the fakey, tree-shaped air freshener smell, but like freshly cut Fraser fir trees. If I get a different smell on alternate days, I’d want it to be Crayola crayons.

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  26. oh, I love that book! My smell would be either just when it starts to rain, like wet cement, or fresh cut grass. I agree about the worm smell, ick.

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  27. I love the smell of my son’s hair right after he showers. I think that has something to do with what it smells like when he hasn’t showered for a couple days, but it is still heaven on earth to me.
    The power you have to suggestive sell to your followers is rather Oprah-like. You need to have a post with “Your Favorite Things” so I can stock them at Target and boost my sales. 🙂

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  28. I know what it would NOT smell like: poopy diapers, vomit, nor B.O., which I am desperately hoping I don’t get today.
    Now I want to try that Vanilla Bourbon, too. I hope I don’t have to sell my second-born to get it.

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  29. Hmmm…vanilla…lemons…or the smell of my Pureology Hydrating Conditioner.
    On a side note…Hulk should win for comment of the week…
    “Or the smell of a beautiful woman on your clothes after a heavy makout session…”
    I am going to make out with my hubby right now!!!
    Thanks, Hulk!!!

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  30. Cocoanut! Cinnamon Cookies! Bacon! Garlic! and this really great Hempz lotion that makes me smell my arm all the time…(and doesn’t THAT make people give me the weird looks)
    Also – I notice you have one of my favorite books “Blue Highways”. Don’t you just love books that you can reread and reread and still love them?

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  31. My heaven would smell like Palmolive dishwashing soap. It reminds me of my mammaw doing the dishes after a meal.

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  32. Hen is just trying to learn how to read so that he can blog too. I would bet that he would be most popular!
    My favorite smell is that of a tomato plant, warm, tangy and ripe.

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  33. I loved that book! My heaven would smell like Christmas: snow, Christmas wreaths, gingerbread baking, and burning leaves.

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  34. My heaven would smell like the desert just after it rains. Or freshly baked bread. Or 100% cotton sheets that were dried out in the sun.
    I loved The Lovely Bones. I read it straight through in just a couple of hours.

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  35. Never read Egg and I or Lovely Bones, but really want to someday do a Blue Highways trip across the US. Better do it while I can still afford the gas.
    My favorite smells…a tossup between sheets straight off the clothesline and that smell that happens in fall when the leaves have started decaying but haven’t moved to the earthy smell yet (don’t I make it sound attractive?).

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  36. Hahahaha, love his look! He has a total (pardon the french) sh@& eating grin.
    We got a coupld of kittens recently, Stan and Ollie. Let me tell you, they live up to their name sakes (Laurel and Hardy).
    Okay, I’ll stop gushing over the cute kitty.
    Have a great day!

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  37. Lovely Bones weirded me out. I lay awake at night worrying that my dead grandpa is watching me. I hope he doesn’t steal my body and have sex with my boyfriend…
    Too distracted with the sex, the dog, the creepy killer, and the divorce during the book to wonder what heaven smells like. Sorry, love. 🙂
    It was definitely a thought-provoking book!

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  38. Smells in heaven? OH, no! I’m cursed with a super sense of smell, so that sounds like hell to me. My kids tease me and say that they are going to put “What smells?” on my tombstone. My best friend (who never smells what I smell) thinks I must have been a small woodland creature in a past life that needed a sharp sense of smell to survive….
    OK, if I have to choose, it’s my husband when I kiss him. It’s kind of “neutral mixed with raisens.”

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  39. My heaven would smell like these things on different days: coffee, baking cake, lemon verbena or almonds. I am going to read those books you suggest. Wanna be my book advisor? Miriam

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  40. Yeah, look at that face! Who’s got an attitude? Who? I think it’s you! Where’s that baby kitten?
    My smell would be roughly in the menthol family too. I love menthol and tea tree and mixes of peppermint and spearmint. Ahhhhh. That really is heaven.

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  41. Coffee is the best smell. Ever.
    In the mid 80s there were a couple of years where I listened to nothing but Kate Bush. The guys in the apartment next door hated me.

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  42. frasier fir trees, browning hamburger meat, waffle cones baking, fried mushrooms from the fair, blueberry muffins, play doh, old books, and onion rings

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  43. maybe olive oil and garlic, sauteeing together on the stove. Or Crabtree and Evelyn’s Rosewater line. Homemade apple pie (not too sweet, very pastry-appley).
    Happy smells don’t have to wait for heaven – that’s what I’m thankful for at the moment. Think I’ll go make my bathrooms smell like pink grapefruit (thank you, Target).

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  44. Bronwen – do you remember that song Woman’s Work was in “She’s Having a Baby” with Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth Shue – it was such a good movie!

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  45. I loved The Lovely Bones, but I had trouble sleeping while reading it. Not that I tried to sleep while ACTUALLY reading it. It gave me nightmares is what it did.
    And my heaven? Smells like coffee, freshly bathed babies, and crayons.

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  46. I love Kate Bush. I don’t listen to her often because my family would kick me out though. Hmmm, I think my heaven will smell like lilacs, or campfire smoke.

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  47. Still waiting to find out what that perfume is!
    I bought a delicious (and very light) perfume from Kohl’s that I love- Grassroots in World of Your Own. It contains vanilla, ginger and ylang ylang. I would use it as breath spray if I didn’t think it would taste bad. It smells so yummy.
    But, I think I need some vanilla and bourbon perfume too.

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  48. Fresh cut cedar or hay, laundry on the line, basil,rosemary, lavender, homegrown tomatoes, Chanel for Men,my dogs’ paws (Fritos), real baguettes, shallots and garlic sauteeing in olive oil. Vanilla ice cream, fresh snow. Nordstrom’s shoe department. . And in heaven, no one has allergies…

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  49. i read the lovely bones, and loved it. i think my heaven would smell like campfire and kettle corn and vanilla cake and autumn, if that’s possible.
    also. i LOVE blue highways. i checked it out from the library a few years ago and ate it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. i should buy it.

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  50. The smells I love the most:
    The ocean, lily-of-the-valley, lilacs, roses, vanilla, Happy perfume, my dogs’ paws, the smell of my dog Lady’s head right between her ears. I miss that last one a lot.

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  51. I’m sure I read The Lovely Bones a few years ago but I’ve completely forgotten it now. Maybe I’ll dig it out again.
    Right now I’m hungry so onion and garlic being gently fried is the most beautiful smell to me. But that all the time might get sickly. Ooh, maybe basil. That always smells good.

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