Thank you for being a friend…

First of all, why can I not get enough of The Golden Girls? I didn't watch it that often when it was a real show because I was 20 and it was on on Saturday nights. Remember when you would have died before you stayed home on a Saturday night? Now I'm all, yay! I have no plans this Saturday!

Which Golden Girl would you be? I guess I'd be Blanche, the trampy one. She's pretty and I wouldn't want to be Rose. Although who are we kidding? I'm probably Rose. With her midwestern roots and her endless stories.

Second, let's elaborate on this book club idea. How exciting! I say anyone who wants to participate, read The Fountainhead by September 30. That is a Wednesday. What if we all got on my blog at 9 p.m. Eastern time Wednesday, September 30? I will set my blog to post right then, so you can read what I think, and you can post your comments right away. And we'll all eat and drink ourselves silly for an hour. If you can't comment on the book at that time,  you can come comment when you can.

Now, really, does anyone know how to make a ding ding ding and also dang dang dang button?

What should we call our book club? It should have something to do with pie, like Mince Words with June. Get it? Mince? Oh, dear.

When we come up with a name and find someone who can make a button, I could set it up so that when you click said button, it'll tell you what book we're reading and when we are "meeting" next. Did you enjoy my phony quote marks?

And trois, faithful reader Joy emailed me a few days ago to tell me about the CHI hair straightener. Have you heard of this contraption?

I know you're shocked, but this reminds me of a story. Because I'm Rose.

One time I went to get acupuncture and Marvin asked me how it went. (Obviously, this was when we lived in LA.) I said, "I will tell you how it went, but I don't want you to poke fun at this. I believe in acupuncture and if you make fun of it you'll just annoy me." So Marvin said he'd abstain from his hilarious jocularity.

I told him how the doctor found I had weakness in my liver chi, and through acupuncture my liver chi was going to be strengthened, thereby reducing my migraines.

Marvin listened to my whole story and said, "I have one question. And I swear I am not trying to make fun. But really, what is liver cheese?"

Sighhhh.

Anyway, this CHI hair straightener, which has nothing to do with my liver, completely changed Faithful Reader Joy's life. She even sent me before and after pictures of her tresses. So now I am obsessed with buying a CHI and may do so on Friday when my fancy profit-sharing check gets here. What say you?

And by the way, the acupuncture to fix my liver chi did not help my migraines. What can I tell you? I know other people whose migraines got helped by acupuncture, tho.

Remind me to tell you about the time I had a past-life reading in Malibu. Did I already tell you that story, and Marvin's pretty line about that? Oh, he enjoyed watching me be swindled by every LA thing you could throw money at. Including the pet psychic. And the cupping. And the aromatherapy haircuts. And the aura photos.

Oh, how he'd blanch at the things I did. Cause I'm Blanche. See?

Okay, leaving now. Travel down the road and back again.