A Tale of Two CHIties. Really, it’s just a tale of one, but “A Tale of One CHIties” didn’t make sense. As opposed to that clear-as-a-bell “Tale of Two CHIties.”

Okay, so, I bought the CHI. I bought it at lunchtime today, because I am impetuous that way, and I actually don't really know what "impetuous" means. Does it mean impulsive? Cause I just could have said that, then.

So, my possibly impetuous self bought the CHI, then I returned to work and asked my boss if there was anything in the employee manual about being allowed to go home for the day when one has purchased something they really, really, wanna go home and play with. Have I mentioned how not funny my boss finds me?

At break time, I told everyone who'd listen about my CHI, how I couldn't wait to get home and touch my hair. Someone said, "But don't you have family visiting?" and I don't know why everyone has to remember all my personal details.

Cause, yeah, my stepsister and her husband are visiting. Her husband is Marvin's best friend. They met through Marvin and me at Thanksgiving 900 years ago. Here they are, visiting today.

Match

Don't think I didn't give them a bunch of crap about wearing matching outfits. Cause who are they, John and Yoko? Shields and Yarnell? I don't think Shields and Yarnell wore matching outfits. I kind of just wanted to say Shields and Yarnell.

So, I pointed out to said coworker, who is really way too up in my life and have I mentioned she and I are going out for cake this weekend? Why so chubby? I'm making CAKE dates. Anyway, I said to her, "What could be more fun for the whole family than watching me straighten my hair?"

And that's what we did. I made my long-suffering stepsister photograph me in action.

Melondog   Bigmelon

Here is my hair before I straightened it. It was about 140 degrees out and 204% humidity. In fact, it rained today. Looking at my follicles, one doesn't need to say any of this, does one?

And don't even ask what I'm doing with the melons. I mean, do you really want to know? Do you wonder why family members don't visit me more often?

Menchi

Here's my CHI. WOOO!

Kidno

Darn it! I was so gonna hire the toddler across the street to straighten my hair for me. What's with that dull child and his apostrophe eyeballs?

Vanity

Okay. The hair is wet. I'm certain my stepsister was looking for any reason whatsoever to get back to her hotel at this point.

Straight

Aaaaand scene. Okay. I look like Edgar Winter. Why didn't it make me all smooth? What gives? Also, who needs to get those roots done? Did it snow on my head?

So, yeah. Advice please. What'd I do wrong? Do tell. Do I need product? I put serum in beforehand.

Speaking of doo, Francis seems to be on the mend. In case anyone was worried they had to switch teams.

Team Edgar Winter!

0 thoughts on “A Tale of Two CHIties. Really, it’s just a tale of one, but “A Tale of One CHIties” didn’t make sense. As opposed to that clear-as-a-bell “Tale of Two CHIties.”

  1. You’re probably tired of all this, but I figure it can’t hurt to share what works for my curly, curly, so so curly hair. I think it’s far curlier than yours, but I think your actual strands are thicker and coarser than mine. Regardless, I firmly believe this technique will save you a lot of frizzy grief.
    The part I believe to be most important is blow drying with a round brush (NOT the kind with the rubber dots on the end of the bristles). Divide it into 4-6 sections, secure all but 1 in a clip or bun, then comb the wet section smooth and pull it tight and taut, and wrap it all the way around the brush. Aim the dryer at it (2-4 inches away) until the roots are totally dry. Then slooowly unroll the brush and dry down the section of hair. That should take 3-4 minutes per section. NEVER let the section off of the brush until it’s 95% dry, and especially be sure to keep the ends against the brush bristles the entire time. This will EASILY eliminate over half the frizz and kinks, and it also serves to create curled ends, making the overall straight-haired look seem more natural and less stick-straight, obvious-you-used-a-flat-iron-y. It takes more time than a quick and dirty blow-dry, but if you have the time (I do it at night), it saves a lot of time with the iron, which means less heat damage. When I take the time to blow dry my hair like this (about 15-20 minutes for me), I only have to use the straightener for maybe 5 minutes to smooth things down, and my hair is as long as yours.
    I hope you don’t mind me saying this much, and I hope I’m helping somehow.

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  2. Chi Silk Infusion is the answer. And a round brush. I have your hair (okay its not that bad.) You use a quarter size of the infusion when your hair is wet. Use a big fat ceramic round brush and dry it out on the brush. THEN touch up the too curly/wavy parts with the flat iron. In the picture your hair is a little too extreme. This will give it some body but you will be in control. Please don’t disregard my advice if there are grammatical errors in this. I still know hair.

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  3. I know I am probably late but the same thing used to happen to me the giant frizzball. A friend told me the iron wasn’t hot enough when I cranked it up it worked perfectly.

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