Okay! So Sunday dawned bright and early, as opposed to Sunday dawning at noon, like we're in Finland or something, and I got ready for CHI experience number two.
I don't mean that I pooped on my CHI. I mean that, if you'll recall, last time I tried this supposedly miraculous hair-straightening tool that cost six thousand five hundred and ten dollars, I looked like Garth of Wayne and Garth.
Um. Okay. Party on. Excellent. Baberaham Lincoln.
Really, that Wayne and Garth movie was funny. What was the name of that movie? …Wayne's World. Oh, thank God I thought of it. Otherwise it'd be like the time I was 10 and couldn't think of Steve Lawrence's last name and all day it was obsessing me and all I could think of for his last name was "and Edie" because he was part of a duo called Steve and Edie and finally my mother and I were shopping at McDonald's Nursery and I screamed out, "LAWRENCE!"
Which didn't make me look insane to the other shoppers at McDonald's Nursery or anything. And why my 10-year-old-self had to think of the last name of a vaguely relevant part of the Rat Pack like Steve Lawrence is beyond me. I mean, I know he wasn't really part of the Rat Pack, but he was up Frank Sinatra's heiney like nobody's business, we all know that.
For anyone who still reads me in my hometown of Saginaw, is McDonald's Nursery still there?
Getting back to the subject at hand, after I showed you all the picture of my Janis the Muppet hair, above, many of you wrote in with tips, like, blow it straight first. Use product, you mo'. Things like that.
So yesterday I got accoutrement and today I commenced to straightening once again. Join me on a photo journey of my hair, won't you?
Oh, hai! My hair is WAVING at you! It's also poufing and growling and mewling and doing all sorts of other unruly possessed things. Let me get in the shower and I'll get back to you. I'm gonna wash that imp right outta my hair…
I started drying my hair at 11:39. I put it into sections like you said, and I used the round brush and also product.
Hi. I'm Robin Gibb. I started a joke. My follicles walked into a bar.
And I want you to know, I AM getting my roots done on Wednesday. Everyone is grateful, I'm sure. There's snow on my roof, but there's still fire in my coals, or whatever that saying is.
I heated up that CHI and I did PAPER THIN pieces of hair. Really, I heard all of you telling me things as I worked. It was like I had voices in my head. Some people have muses, I have commenters.
Okay, it's not PERFECT yet, bit I did better this time, no? It's way less Greg Alman than the first time I CHId it, right? I was done by 12:30. So the whole thing took eighty-six hours.
Do my teeth look sort of gray in this photo? Why are they GRAY? I have had them professionally whitened and I use Crest Graystrips. What gives?
Oh, now I have to obsess about THAT.