Do you know what I am glad about? I am glad people have pretty much stopped saying “chi-chi” when they mean fancy.

Okay! So Sunday dawned bright and early, as opposed to Sunday dawning at noon, like we're in Finland or something, and I got ready for CHI experience number two.

I don't mean that I pooped on my CHI. I mean that, if you'll recall, last time I tried this supposedly miraculous hair-straightening tool that cost six thousand five hundred and ten dollars, I looked like Garth of Wayne and Garth.

Straight

Um. Okay. Party on. Excellent. Baberaham Lincoln.

Really, that Wayne and Garth movie was funny. What was the name of that movie? …Wayne's World. Oh, thank God I thought of it. Otherwise it'd be like the time I was 10 and couldn't think of Steve Lawrence's last name and all day it was obsessing me and all I could think of for his last name was "and Edie" because he was part of a duo called Steve and Edie and finally my mother and I were shopping at McDonald's Nursery and I screamed out, "LAWRENCE!"

Which didn't make me look insane to the other shoppers at McDonald's Nursery or anything. And why my 10-year-old-self had to think of the last name of a vaguely relevant part of the Rat Pack like Steve Lawrence is beyond me. I mean, I know he wasn't really part of the Rat Pack, but he was up Frank Sinatra's heiney like nobody's business, we all know that.

For anyone who still reads me in my hometown of Saginaw, is McDonald's Nursery still there?

Getting back to the subject at hand, after I showed you all the picture of my Janis the Muppet hair, above, many of you wrote in with tips, like, blow it straight first. Use product, you mo'. Things like that.

So yesterday I got accoutrement and today I commenced to straightening once again. Join me on a photo journey of my hair, won't you?

Goodmorning

Oh, hai! My hair is WAVING at you! It's also poufing and growling and mewling and doing all sorts of other unruly possessed things. Let me get in the shower and I'll get back to you. I'm gonna wash that imp right outta my hair…

I started drying my hair at 11:39. I put it into sections like you said, and I used the round brush and also product.

Robingibb

Hi. I'm Robin Gibb. I started a joke. My follicles walked into a bar.

And I want you to know, I AM getting my roots done on Wednesday. Everyone is grateful, I'm sure. There's snow on my roof, but there's still fire in my coals, or whatever that saying is.

I heated up that CHI and I did PAPER THIN pieces of hair. Really, I heard all of you telling me things as I worked. It was like I had voices in my head. Some people have muses, I have commenters.

Straightish

Okay, it's not PERFECT yet, bit I did better this time, no? It's way less Greg Alman than the first time I CHId it, right? I was done by 12:30. So the whole thing took eighty-six hours.

Do my teeth look sort of gray in this photo? Why are they GRAY? I have had them professionally whitened and I use Crest Graystrips. What gives?

Oh, now I have to obsess about THAT.

LAWRENCE!

55 thoughts on “Do you know what I am glad about? I am glad people have pretty much stopped saying “chi-chi” when they mean fancy.

  1. You know what? It’s very becoming on you. There is the perfect combo of body and straight! “Becoming” – that’s part and parcel of my vintage.

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  2. Awesome. Got your hair done just in time to go to bed. Marvin will have to make dinner reservations for 6:30 a week from November at this rate. ‘Cause guys LOVE waiting for you gals to get ready.
    How come women take FOR-EV-ER to get ready when there is nothing on TV, but as soon as the critical, pivitol play of the game is about to occur, you are all like, “OK, I’m ready–let’s go. Let’s GO!.”?

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  3. Oh, forgot…I’m sure your mom can fill you in (unless she has been barred from there due to unruly, Tourette’s Syndrome-like children), but McDonald’s is still going strong…same location and everything.

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  4. It’s very pretty on you, I like it. The question is, is it worth the time it takes? Maybe a couple of times a week, after you have had more practice and cut your time down. Party on!

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  5. Well done! It looks great! I like the body that remains. My hair just looks big when I straighten it and then I need to sleep on it. But, um…I hate to join the rest of the world (the ones that make me roll my eyes when they tell me this), but your waves are really pretty even when they are unruly.

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  6. June, your hair looks great! I have to admit I wasn’t a big fan the first time you did it. But it looks less frizzy, and very feminine. Please tell me you are able to go a couple of days without washing, because that is way too much time to spend on your hair each day.
    Did Marvin love it? Did he notice?!

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  7. Wow… this has taken a turn toward porn… I felt like Sandra and Bard were probably saying “Schwing!” I think June has a shirt on. I hope June has a shirt on. Otherwise my parental controls will block her site from me.
    The hair looks very nice. Eventually you will become a pro and it will take you less time. I’m talking from experience.
    Party on Wayne… Party on Garth.

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  8. That should read Barb and my name should be Jan. My sister had me post Hulk questions for her and I used a different name so that I would not be posting all the questions under my name. Sheesh.

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  9. Aw you look 14 in the 2nd photo! And I’m sure you are still wearing the gray tank… you can sorta see your right strap. Keep practising. Not to confuse you, but you can also slightly flip the ends in or out by turning the iron as you pull it down. There are some great youtube videos on this. For example,

    .

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  10. I like it better wavy and big. But also I liked Wayne’s World, so maybe that accounts for some of my preference. And pomeranians. I just like fluffy hair. It exudes big personality better. To each her own, but I think you look awesome either way.

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  11. Nice work. It looks good. I think your natural hair is awesome. It is good for you to now have a choice of how you want to wear it. You are beautiful either way (I am such a suck up).

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  12. Wow! You look awesome! The CHI blowdryer is totally worth the money as well. Eventually it will take less time to fix your hair, but I would still plan on a good half an hour to blow dry and straighten.
    I really am lovin’ that straight hair on you.
    Wow, that sounds really creepy.

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  13. WOW!!! Junie-June-June… it looks AWESOME! & you know how i thought you needed a “professional” cut & all! My mouth LITERALLY fell open when i saw the final picture, it’s GREAAAAAAAT (said all Tony the Tiger style)
    ~chinamommy misschell

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  14. I like it. I really, really like it!
    But I’d also kill for your hair before the shower. I can say that because I’m a safe distance away and cannot POSSIBLY have my straighter-than-straight 3 hairs morph into your flounce of waves.
    Don’t you love when people offer to trade places with you? It’s so easy to go on and on that you’d trade places “in a heartbeat” because everybody knows YOU CAN’T. You have cancer? I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat! Such frivolous use of promises when you know it’ll never actually happen!

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  15. Oh, and as far as the not remembering names thing….ME TOO! But I use the Internet and imdb.com constantly to help me remember.
    There’s some tv show on abc family and I saw a preview (why did previews become trailers? wouldn’t you expect a trailer to trail the show?) with one of the 70’s child stars on it, then spent half an hour googling and imdb’ing (yes, incorrect use of apostrophe) to figure out it’s one of the Cassidy boys who’s on this new kids’ show.
    CASSIDY! Now I just need to figure out if it’s Shaun or Patrick.

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  16. Remember before Google when people actually had to rely on their memories? Those were tough times.
    That’s very exciting that you’re becoming a CHI master! They have belts in tai chi belts so maybe we should order you a CHI belt. You’re well on your way to a black belt. Good job.

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  17. WOW! It looks amazing…definitely better than the first attempt.
    McDonald’s Nursery is still going…I was just there a few weeks ago picking up some plants and fertilizer!
    Again, your hair looks amazing! Its really annoying though straightening it…I have the same problem and I have a routine that can’t be broken if I am to get my hair done and be on time for work.

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  18. Your hair looks lovely, although I’m in the “I like the curls better” camp myself. But what I’m really impressed with is (are?) your glasses – I love how they follow the line of your eyebrows in the last picture, when you’re not wrinkling your forehead.

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  19. Hyphen Mama… was it some show called ‘Ruby and the Rockets’ or ‘Ruby Rock’s It’ or something similar? Because if that’s it then that would Patrick Cassidy and David Cassidy. They are both on it and Shaun is executive producer. And might I add? Shaun? Has.not.aged.well.
    Hulk… did you hear? Kathy Ireland is going to be on this season of Dancing With the Stars.

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  20. It just cracks me up that 2 weeks ago I had a perm so that my hair would have curls like yours and not be straight and limp as it has been my whole (ding dang) life!
    Do I have curls? I did for the first week and I loved them but of course now they are already straightening out.
    Is there such a thing as a reverse CHI?

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  21. Joanie,
    I feel your pain. I did the perm thing way back when, but my hair got badly damaged. Now I just deal with having grossly straight hair. Ugh. And, you know how special it looks in the humidity, right? Well it’s in the 90s here with about 90% humidity, so I’m looking sort of droopy.
    June, your hair looks lovely straight AND curly. Good going!

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  22. You did a fantastic job, it looks beautiful! I have to admit though, I liked the waves/curls better. Nothing like hair with personality, and yours is very friendly.
    I’m always running around trying to remember things that just sit on the tip of my tongue so I can shout them out at awkward moments later. After 6 years, my husband is finally used to it and doesn’t give me quite so many weird looks. (Excluding the time I shouted out the word ‘phallic’ at the zoo. That was weird.)

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  23. I spent thousand of dollars on perms from my teen years through my 30’s so that I would have curly hair. Now that I’m in my 40’s and finally realize that I have naturally curly/wavy hair, I’m spending hundreds on blowdryers and flat-irons to straighten my hair.
    Ironic, doncha think?

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  24. WOW, June, you totally hit it out of the park! What’s-a-happenin-hot-stuff! You look like a Pussy Cat Doll! I swear you look a sultry 10 years younger! Let me use more exclamation points!

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  25. Great job, June! I’m very proud of your aCHIevement. Your hair looks super sleek. Did you sing “CH-CH-CH-CHIing” while you were straightening your hair? I think Marvin would totally love it if you did.
    Speaking of Chia Pets (because we so were), did you ever own one? My aunt gave me a turtle Chia Pet for a housewarming “gift” when I moved into my first apartment. The dang thing got moldy before it even sprouted, so I couldn’t have CHId the Chia if I wanted to. (That sounded dirty. Sorry.)

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  26. McDonald’s Nursery has rose bushes for $5.00 currently according to their sign. They are still there, but usually there are very few cars in the lot. I despair that its days are numbered. Your hair looks great. It’s longer than it was for your wedding, so it looks different from other times you’ve had it straightened. I do love your curls, but this looks wonderful. You know, not many 10 year olds would have been aware of the existence of Steve and Edie back then and certainly not now. It’s so cool that you knew about them. I’m glad we grew up together.

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  27. Hey, it looks great! You’ll get faster with practice. My daughter has big hair and we had hers chemically straightened and she washes and straight-dries it and uses the CHI at night before she goes to bed. Then in the mornings she just runs the CHI back through it really quick-like and voila! Straight hair!

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  28. Of course you have a shirt on, see those gray spagetti straps just peaking out of that newly tamed mane. Very sleek. Very People mag of you. You did add lipstick, and probably something to, as they say, ‘even out your skin tones’. Maybe that’s why your whitened teeth are at a disadvantage. I actually like the slightly disheveled you, shows a heartening sense of pure sloth and a healthy lack of vanity. But if you must sleek it up, by all means . .

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  29. I have hair envy. It looks great either way. Also, around these parts, CHI is pronounced CH-EYE. I can’t phoneticize it but it rhymes with WHY. I pronounced it CHEE but my hairdresser corrected me. Now I wonder if she’s an idiot … in addition to being a chain-smoking yoga slut.

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  30. Practice makes perfect. I’ve always hated to practice anything, so I pretty much get through life half-a$$ed. How I manage, I just don’t know.
    Your hair looks pretty when it’s straight like that. Very sophisticated.

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  31. DARN YOU WOMAN!! If this Chi thing works out for you, my Beth will stop buying the cheap imitaions and buy the $xxxx version. Currently, we can make it to church and home before my Bengals beat Hulk’s Browns, but soon I will be making it home right after the celebration in The Jungle.
    Hulk, at least we can agree that Kathy Ireland’s eyes are both real and spectacular.

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  32. I love your curls, but the straight look does take years off. Skip the botox party and buy a Chi!
    In other news, if you don’t need to wash your hair every day you can sleep on a silk pillow case and it will dramatically reduce the frizzies in the morning. My mum bought me one. She should have kept it herself, her hair is the afro from hell.

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