We admitted we were powerless

Before I talk about my hair, which I'm sure you're thrilled I'm going to discuss again, let's talk about tonight's Martha Washington/Ma Ingalls/Annie Oakley evening I had, over here.

I got home from work and Marvin was already home, pleased as punch with himself as he always is. I stampeded to the refrigerator, as I am wont to do, like I am one of the Brady Bunch kids. I always look for that small chalkboard near the fridge to see if we need apples. Remember how the Bradys had that chalkboard? And it always had benign grocery-list items like "apples." It was never anything controversial like Neosynephrine or Glade.

I opened the fridge, and the little man who turns the light on in our ice box, as my gramma would call it, must have had the day off. "The light in our fridge is out," I told Marvin.

"Yeah, I saw that," he said. Helpfully.

Then I grabbed the remote so I wouldn't miss a minute of TMZ, cause I like to catch up on the news when I get home, and the remote didn't work either.

"The remote's broken!" I crabbed.

"Yeah, I know," said Marvin. Helpfully.

Turns out? All the power was out in every house on our block. And Marvin KNEW this, he just wanted to see my reaction to everything in life not working. Scientific question number one: how annoying is Marvin? (Does anyone remember when I asked that months ago, about how he gets up at 5:00 but waits till he hears MY alarm go off at 6:00 and then he DASHES into the bathroom? Yeah.)

Did you ever know that you need power to 1. Watch TV, 2. Use the computer, 3. Call anyone, 4. Have lights, 5. Cook anything in the microwave, which is the only way I cook and 6. Air-condition your house?

I mean, there was NOTHING TO DO. NOTHing. You can imagine what Marvin suggested we do, with no air conditioning and 98% humidity, but the bloom is off THAT rose, particularly when someone snortles until his wife figures out there is no power in the house.

So we discussed Man Men again, which was FABULOUS and you all need to go out and rent years one and two so I can discuss it ad nauseum on this blog. Then Marvin read excerpts from the book Mortified, which is hilarious.

Finally, we tried to get Tallulah to jump through a hoop. Cause I finally found a hula-hoop in a store, for $3.20.

Hoop

Please also take time to enjoy the 48 inches of my backside, which gets exposed every time I bend over, because have I mentioned how I am enjoying this trend of low-rise pants? Not annoying at all.

At any rate, I held treats on the other side, and she JUMPED through the hoop on her second try! Then on her third? She got her feets tangled up in the hoop and now she's afraid of it.

I hate everything.

But as you can see from this picture, not only do I need to do something with this lawn, stat, but my straightener has continued to work.  Many of you wrote in and asked if it lasted beyond Sunday, when I did all that work straightening it. First of all, have you met my hair? I could go 20 weeks without washing it and it wouldn't look dirty. Plus also too, there's no way I'd spend that much time on it if it was only gonna last the day.

So, yeah. It's still straight-ish. Here is my hair now, after having been forced to live without air conditioning for the last four hours:

Hair

Oh! And I almost forgot to tell you that on the way to work today? A man in the next car beeped at me and said, "Wooo!" to me.

Really! "Wooo!" That's what he said. That paid for the CHI, right there. I immediately got on the horn to Marvin to tell him this stunning fact, and he said, "Did he like your car?"

Did he like my car.

And he wonders why I don't get all amorous during a blackout.

0 thoughts on “We admitted we were powerless

  1. 1. How in the world do you live in the South and your lawn looks like that? 2. Your hair looks fabulous. 3. If someone honked and said “wooo!” to me I’d take space out in the local paper to tell everyone. “Did he like your car?” HA!

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  2. I love it! Marvin and my husband must share a brain.
    If I utter the words “I’m bored” my husband quickly responds with “I’ve got something for you to do.”
    Ugh…talk about a turn off.

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  3. I love your hair! I can go on for days without washing my hair, even when I wear it curly. And then all I need to do on like, day three, is ponytail it and scrub the edges around my face when I wash and hey presto! I can skip washing my hair again. But this isn’t about me, it’s about you. Your hair looks great and the man who “liked your car” proves it. Men are so obvious. HA

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  4. My power went out early one morning this past January. Now keep in mind that I turn the thermostat down to about 62 at night in winter and sleep with the fan on (another perk of being a divorcee). I woke up and said, “Damn, it is cold in here.” Which I never say. Turns out the below zero temps and 30mph winds had knocked down the power lines. So Hulk had NO heat. And Little Hulkette was coming over because school was cancelled. So, what to do with an eight-year-old, no electricity, no heat? That’s right, I played Barbies in front of the gas fireplace for FOUR HOURS. I only answered to the names “Ken” and “Skipper” for three days after that.
    Try leaving the hoop upright but on the ground, and let her get used to running through it before making her jump. If you need anymore help, I know a guy who talks regularly with The Dog Whisperer. Seriously.

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  5. my friend & i were at Target 1 day & some chunky monkey reved his engine over & over at us & drove REAL slow giving us the ol rubber neck… a NON-handsome dweeb reving his mustang engine, geesh, what a compliment! My friend yelled “hey buddy, we’re MOMS” to gross him out, i guess?!
    ~misschell

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  6. I am green with envy for two reasons.
    1.) I have to wash my hair every day or it looks like I had a fight with a Fry Daddy and lost.
    2.) If someone looked over and said Woooo!, they really would be sweet on my Mustang, not me.

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  7. That Marvin is a stinker (as my grandma would say). The whole power teasing combined with the bathroom thing is just downright mean.
    But your hair looks GOOD girlfriend! It’s holding it’s own.

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  8. So Marvin’s not telling you that the power was out is by far the funniest thing I’ve heard today. But it is only 10:05 am, so there’s hope for me yet.
    Seriously though, that just really cracked me up. I’m going to have to remember that one. I’m switching to Team Marvin!

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  9. Now see when Kahuna says something like that I say in the most dead pan voice I can muster “oh, baby, baby. please can we do the horizontal bob right now. you are so romantical and i can not wait.” This usually causes him to heave a heavy sigh and walk away.
    Your hair looks great.

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  10. Gladys, I have gotta try that one. But I don’t know if I can pull it off with a straight face. Plus also too, June, your hair is still fab and your backside looks good too.

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  11. During a power failure, my mother always swept her floors, her broom being the only non-electric household item. While you Sw!ffer, Marvin could dust, giving him something to do with his hands….

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  12. Mamz, that’s supposed to be “Mad Men.” Junie had a rare typo in her post!
    Junie, your hair looks fab. And I feel bad for Lula. She’s a nervous little gal, and rightly so. If the first days of my life were as uncertain as hers I’d be a tad on the neurotic side, too!
    Go, Team Lula!

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  13. Oh, and where’s our Obligatory Hen-Hen photo?!
    Do you and Marvy still take him outside for firefly watches at night? So cute!

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  14. You never told us Marvin’s reaction to your straight hair. Does he have a preference, or does he hold back his judgement because it is a damned if I do, damned if I don’t situation?
    Hulk, my mother didn’t think Barbies lent themselves to a young girl having a good body image. So my sister’s and I had to play with Trolls.
    I was so glad when the little Hi Heidi doll came out. She didn’t have humongus itty-tays so I was allowed to play with it.

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  15. Ladies, like you can’t spare us 5 minutes of your time during a blackout? Then we can get to nappin’ and you can get to your sweeping.
    (No, Beth did not approve this message).
    I would love to join Team Marvin, love the car comment.

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  16. “So my sister’s and I had to play with Trolls.”
    KW for comment of the week!
    Also, I totally feel ya’ on giving Marvin the cold shoulder. What IS it with men? I tried to teach my husband the most wonderful quote “romance begins in the morning” which means that we need to be woo-ed all the ding-dang day; not just a ‘hey baby, you wanna?’
    but I digress…
    you hair looks great and I’m totally jealous of the not needing to wash your hair daily. I’m like Laura. I HAVE to wash every day.

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  17. So women have to be “woo-ed” ALL DAY before they agree to sex? How many hours ARE there in a day in China???
    KW~your mom must not have cared about a young girl’s HAIR image, eh?

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  18. look at all the comments about how great you look! plus the car honk which means you’ve still got it (not that you ever lost it)! WOOO-HOOO!
    the chi master

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  19. The last time someone came close to Woo-wooing me was when I was walking our dog some years back. I stopped at the corner where there was a handsome young man driving some sort of sweet car. He looked over my way, held my gaze for a moment and then said, “Nice dog.” Sigh…… (Just for the record, he was a nice dog–a sheltie–with nicer hair than mine!)
    On the subject of hair–can you take another suggestion? I do not have curly hair. I have white-trash straight hair, which is the straightest, finest hair you can have. However, the woman who cuts my hair, was telling me about a straightening treatment they are doing now–the Brazilian? Have you heard of it? It takes two people all day to do it, but your hair stays straight for something like three months. And you can wash it. Anyway–just throwing it out there.

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  20. One time me and a friend were WOO-ed at while we were walking down the street and I went running after the car yelling, “WAIT! WAIT!” I mean, really, did they think we were going to get in? What’s the goal there? Did the guy who WOO-ed you expect you to get out of your car and in to his? He probably would have completely chickened out if you had, but it would have been funny.
    You and Marvin crack me up. I’m so glad you own a copy of Mortified. I read that during my lunch breaks at work and was asked more than once if I was ok because I was trying to stifle my laughter so much that it looked like I was crying.

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  21. Yes, when do men lose their ability to “Woo” their wives? My husband says it’s too much trouble to undress me so he wants me to come to bed naked.
    I tell him “it’s not a chastity belt, it’s a thong – if you can’t be bothered to work your way through the defenses of a thong, then you don’t deserve it”

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  22. Hulk: yes. but more importantly, it’s less about how much woo-ing is done all day, and more about how much you try to not be annoying all day.
    for isntance: leaving the bathroom door open while your wife is in the shower so that when she gets out it is FREEZING in the bathroom is at the very least ANNOYING and probably just plain rude and thoughtless.
    annie for 2nd best comment this week “I tell him “it’s not a chastity belt, it’s a thong – if you can’t be bothered to work your way through the defenses of a thong, then you don’t deserve it””

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  23. “Snortles”…I love it. It’s a combination of chortles and snorts, right?
    You have the best commenters out there in blogland. Steve & Beth, KW, Annie, you guys all made me spew coffee on the screen today.

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  24. I’m extremely impressed with your hair – but also impressed that you stayed dressed up after getting home from work. I don’t know why clothes and jewelry don’t bother me at work, but the minute I walk in my house I have to take off all my jewelry and get into my most comfortable, ratty clothes!
    Hate to tell you, but Marvin won’t get any better – DH thinks it is the cure for any crisis.

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  25. KW…I LOVE that your mother cared about your body image. I am wondering…seriously…did it help??
    June…love your hair…straight and curly!! (Mine is the same.) Great to have both options.
    Marvin is hilarious!!!
    As for fun with the lights out…my hubby is still damn sexy even after 23 years. I’d flip the breaker just to pretend the power is out!!

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  26. Wasn’t Mad Men fantastic?! I just watched it last night and I went to bed thinking about it and have been thinking about it all day today…so many little things to think about.
    I love that show and, er, Don Draper.

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  27. Ha, just got the “powerless” title – I am a simple people.
    I have found the best solution to my wack-a-doo hair is a pink Red Sox cap.

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  28. The last time I got a “Woo-hoo!” was when I walked into my daughter’s restaurant with a plate of homemade Christmas cookies. The waiter thought he had died and gone…home to mom, I guess.
    Although I really like the naturally curly tresses (with which I am not blessed) you’ve done a great job straightening it. It looks really nice.
    P.S. was a little late catching up on the Hulk Q&A, just wanted to let him know we’re Buckeyes, too. Well, I am only by marriage.

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  29. I was holding out as the last woman here not obsessed with Hulk, but the Barbie comment melted my resolve. He can come play Barbies with my little one anytime! (No, seriousy – you wanna? You can even drive the dream car. I’ll be in the other room having a nap…)

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  30. The Wooo…totally worth the Chi.
    And I have bone-straight hair and STILL have to use the flat iron. While in AZ I could get away with just using the hair dryer…but I’m not in AZ anymore…but we have seasons!

    Like

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