You know how Oprah has that show where she shows you all the things she likes cause she's a billionaire and can afford everything? This is just like that, except for the part where I am poor. I know we all know some of my favorite things already (see above), but here are some other things I like, which unfortunately I am not getting paid to say I like.

Do you know who I wish would want me to use their product? That Latisse company that gives you long eyelashes like Brooke Shields' eyelashes. Have you seen that commercial? It's a prescription liquid you put on your eyelids and you grow huge eyelashes and apparently you also dance in a really awkward way with someone in slow motion.

What is Brooke Shields DOING when she's dancing in that commercial? She does this little jerking motion that makes no sense, unless she's trying to get a bug off her shoulder or something.

But I do like that Brooke Shields. We're the same age and I always identified with her, especially the parts where she hung out at Studio 54 when she was 13 and also went to Princeton. We are practically twins. Because Fashion Square Roller Rink in Saginaw is similar to Studio 54, right? They played Boogie Oogie Oogie.

Anyway. Here are some things I like.


Since the Latisse people are not clamoring to give me free product, I went to Ulta and bought this Lorac mascara. I think it was $22. On one side is a primer, because you are going to spraypaint your lashes next. No, no, no. The primer supposedly does something to make your lashes longer, then the next step gives you long and lengthy lashes. The only annoying part is it's hard to hold cause you have to open one side and then the other. But I do like the results. It's ALMOST as good as the Maybelline Illegal Lengths I was so obsessed with that naturally they had to discontinue because I am being punished constantly.


Has anyone noticed I am a dreadful photographer? I blame the camera. I blame Sue. This time I really do blame Sue, because it was my Aunt Sue who got me this lip color for my birthday. Okay, the gift was from Uncle Jim and Aunt Sue, but give me a break. My uncle is forever asking, "Oh, what'd we get you?" at any present-giving occasion. I could tell him he got me a pot-bellied pig that sang My Darling Clementine and he'd have to believe me, so involved is he in the present selection.

Anyway, this product is from Bath & Body Works and on one side is a brown sugar scrub for your lips and on the other side is a tasty color called Pomegranate and it is perfect for me. It tastes good and it's the best color. I have no idea what it cost. Go ask Uncle Jim.


Okay, this stuff is amazing. It's a little teeny toothbrush, and how much do you like me for saying "little teeny"? The thing is, you don't use water and you don't rinse. I know! It has little rubbery bristles and a gel in the center, and somehow the gel makes you all fresh. Great for when you down 12 beers at lunch. Also, there's a teeny pick for pickin' and grinnin' on your teeth. Hey, I'm in the South.


My final favorite thing is my new dishes. Are my new dishes. My new dishes be grand. Marvin and I needed new everyday dishes and my mother and I combed the earth for these. I described what I wanted (I want what I always want. Old lady grandma things), and lo and behold my mother found these.

Now, I know they're girly. I was just gonna get all white dishes, and when I showed Marvin the pattern, he said, "Okay, but we have to get one each of white and pink." See, I think he thought I wanted ALL pink, so I totally scored there. Plus besides, I think I can kind of mix these up with my great-grandmother's fancy china, which is pink and white.

Yes, Henry sitting on your clean laundry and also half a centimeter from your new dishes. Maybe if you put things away, Hair, Henry not seem so offensive.

That wraps up my fabulous June's Favorite Things post, and GUESS WHAT? EVERYBODY GETS A CAR! EVERY.BODY.GETS.A.CAR. When you go buy one.

Oh! And we have a Very Special Comment of the Week this week. The award goes to Steve and also to his wife, Beth. Because they had a funny exchange right here on my blog. It's our first award to a couple. Let's all dance a jerky little celebration dance, shall we?

45 thoughts on “June’s favorite things

  1. Lety says:

    I love Latisse! It’s about $120 for the first six week’s worth, then when you go to twice weekly applications for maintenance, the $120 lasts months. I flap my feathery lashes at every opportunity. Worth every nickel. The results are incredible.
    I’ve never been much of a dancer, so if my skills have been affected, I haven’t noticed.


  2. CaliforniaJulie says:

    yep, and all tangly like jungle undergrowth…Just imagine blinking with ivy tendrils all around your eyeballs. Nice.


  3. Judy says:

    Okay, if you use Latisse, it will make your lashes longer yes? Perhaps thicker as well? But if you have been cursed with blonde eyelashes you’re still screwed (and not in a good way), am I right? You’ll just have longer, thicker invisible eyelashes?


  4. CaliforniaJulie says:

    Hi June;
    1. Had a friend who got LASH EXTENSIONS. No, i am not kidding. I couldn’t look at her when we were talking. She did have hair extensions too and after the lash extensions we were taking bets on on under arm hair extensions and maybe some south of the equator ones to. I used to start giggling before I saw her. You can tell that I am very mature and serious.
    2. My Mom is using Latisse now. Boy, her lashes are now quite long. So long in fact they look freaky long and crazy ungroomed. Like old man crazy eyebrows. Not really sure that I could rock that look. And, yes, they remind me of Ms. Lash Extensions. I am having the same giggling problem around her. I am not looking forward to the next family meal.


  5. Chrissy says:

    YOU are incredibly witty and awesome and I adore your blog! Just sayin’!


  6. Noelle says:

    I have the exact same mirror that is in your mascara picture. It sits on my desk at work so I can see people coming up behind me. It is at an angle just like yours, the same color and set up on it’s handle like a stand. I did a double take while reading your blog at work.


  7. Aunt Becky says:

    Can I ask you a question that I never understand? Why is Brooke Shields in black while everyone else is in white? June, HELP ME UNDERSTAND!


  8. Paula FNY, D says:

    Re: JC Pennedy. My mother constantly said Teddedy Kennedy instead of Teddy Kennedy. Now none of us can say it correctly.
    Re: Tasty Lip Gloss. Bath and Body Works has a Pecan Pie or something. Cinnamon Bun? I forget but I put it on and eat it off. And put it on and eat it off. Et cetera.


  9. Kellye says:

    June love your dishes. How sweet of Marvin to go with pink.
    Erin – I have used the Lipilicious and it is very tasty. But…. your friend needs to try the Mentha-Lip from Bath and Body. Very yummy and pretty colors too!
    This was fun June!


  10. Rachel K. says:

    That Brooke Shields commercial FREAKS ME OUT! And not just because of the awkward dancing. Her eyes! They’re piercing deep into my soul! They just keep getting bigger and bigger and I know that what she’s really saying with her eyes is, “If you don’t buy this eye lash product I’m going to find you and eat your face.”
    And also…I lean towards the old ladyish things myself and think your new plates are lovely, dear. (clutch pearls, hike up support hose.)


  11. June says:

    Dear Erin,
    It tastes really really really really good.
    And for everyone who wanted to know, the dishes are from JC Pennedy, and I know you enjoy me saying “Pennedy,” but that’s how my childhood friend said it and I’ve said it that way ever since. Anyway, I don’t think I’ve bought anything from JCPennedy since I was 10 and the only cords that fit me were boy’s Toughskins, and were Toughskins from Sears?
    Anyway, the pattern is called Lace. It also comes in purple and yellow.


  12. Erin says:

    bwaaahahahaha. a candidate for suicide bombing.
    Just how good-tasting is this lip color? My friend Brock is on a search for the tastiest lip gloss, and if this is the one, I need to know.


  13. Steve says:

    Christy, Beth seems to like me just fine. We have been married 18 years so apparently if you set the expectations low enough, romance is more attainable. I cleaned and vacuumed on my day off today, so it should be another night where Beth does not smother me with a pillow while I am sleeping. That is the goal of woo-ing, right?


  14. Kelly says:

    I love these WISP mini-brush things. I just got done freshening up at my desk! They are very minty and my mouth feels great after I use it. This sounds like a commercial, doesn’t it? If only the paid me.


  15. Cristy says:

    Steve, buddy, you slay me. I know I’ve said it before but I just had to say it again.
    How is the woo-ing going?
    oh, and, also, too… June… love the favorite things post. I’m totally gonna steal the idea. I mean, technically I’m not stealing it from you, I’m stealing it from Oprah, and she’s rich, so she can, like, afford for me to steal from her. Too bad she doesn’t blog, huh? Just kidding. I don’t really like her that much anymore.


  16. pendy says:

    Henry is getting ENTIRELY too grown-up looking.


  17. Steve says:

    My apologies to Linda for The Addams family.
    My apologies to Hulk, I don’t like you that way, not that there is anything wrong with that. I do enjoy a good milkshake though.
    I was just trying a little “What Women Want” Mel Gibson movie action so I could channel June’s thoughts…I think it is working. June likes cookies and is making an abstract reference about them right now.


  18. Linda in CO says:

    “They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
    Mysterious and spooky,
    They’re altogether ooky,
    The A-ddams fam-i-ly…”
    Thanks, June. Yesterday it was “Rickie don’t lose that number”, today the Addams family. What song will you bless/curse my brain with tomorrow?


  19. CAB says:

    I’m using Latisse — got a script from my optometrist at a regular “I Need A New Batch of Contacts” appointment.
    If you spend $22 on mascara, then think of Latisse as 4 or 5 tubes of mascara. Cost is the same! And your eyes after YEARS and YEARS of CONSTANT use MIGHT turn darker.


  20. Elaine from Seinfeld = Brooke in commercial. At least she’s pretty. Very, very pretty. *pats Brooke’s hair*
    Juice made me snort. A candidate for veganism and suicide bombing? Skkknnnttt.


  21. Elaine from Seinfeld = Brooke in commercial. At least she’s pretty. Very, very pretty. *pats Brooke’s hair*
    Juice made me snort. A candidate for veganism and suicide bombing? Skkknnnttt.


  22. Elaine from Seinfeld = Brooke in commercial. At least she’s pretty. Very, very pretty. *pats Brooke’s hair*
    Juice made me snort. A candidate for veganism and suicide bombing? Skkknnnttt.


  23. Miss T says:

    Brooke Shields looks like she is having a seizure in that commercial.
    I’m going to try the Wisp toothbrush. It will come in handy since I have ADULT braces! Sexy, I know!


  24. Tee says:

    I LOVE the dishes! I’m looking for some white dishes. Johnson Brother used to have white, but they have been discontinued. Just my luck.
    Don’t worry about Henry and the hair.


  25. Juice says:

    Since I don’t watch a lot of TV, I had to youtube the Latisse commercial so I could see Brooke dancing. Is that supposed to be some kind of Latin dance move? Maybe the back step of salsa (the dance, not the food)??
    And I have to agree with PJ, Brooke is hawking a LOT of goods these days. Is she hard up for cash or just making hay while the sun shines?
    My personal mascara favorite is Loreal Voluminous. My lashes are long, but very very sparse. I guess I’d be a good candidate for Latisse. But then I’d also be a good candidate for Botox, lipo, veganism and suicide bombing, and I’m not going there either.


  26. Cat says:

    June, I didn’t want to say anything, but since you brought it up yourself, your pictures are, well, not quite up to the daughter of a professional photographer standard. It’s as though you take all of your pictures in some sort magical mist. I think you should ask your dad for some tips or maybe a new, non-mist-making camera.


  27. Katie says:

    June, if your camera has a “Macro” setting, which is usually indicated with a little tulip sort of icon, that might work better for your super close-up pictures of little teeny things. I’ve seen cameras that have it on the wheel with all the other settings, and also as one of the buttons on the four-way button pad area. You should find another camera or devise an elaborate setup of mirrors to take a picture of your camera so I can see what you’re working with.
    The following link is a picture that I have nothing to do with that shows you what the tulip looks like/where you might find it:


  28. Hulk says:

    Steve~seriously, unless this Hulk crush thing has already run its course and I don’t need to worry about it anymore, PLEASE no milkshakes in my yard, or whatever that little saying was that Junie came up with…not that I am judging you…
    May I suggest you turn on Sportscenter RIGHT NOW…maybe just have it on in the background…come back to our team, buddy.


  29. misschell says:

    Even though i have a great LOVE for all things “seen on tv” the motorized mascara is a S-C-A-M, the d**n thing moves so slow even i don’t have time for it & i have all the time in the world! i have that same lip gloss but my kid ate the sugar scrub out of the 1 end… ~misschell


  30. Xina says:

    I thought I was the ONLY one that noticed the herky jerky dance that Brooke was attempting….it got so bad that everytime that commercial came on, I had to avert my eyes….
    LOVE LOVE LOVE the dishes….Where in the world did your mother find them?


  31. Joy says:

    June, there is now MOTORIZED MASACARA. I’ve never used it, but praise Jesus for America.


  32. Paula FNY, D says:

    June. Run, do not walk, and get Estee Lauder Magnascopic Mascara. One coat and you will have beeeyoooteeeful lashes. (Two coats and you’re Tammy Faye Baker.)


  33. Joanie says:

    OOOOHHHHH! I love those dishes! especially in both pink and white.
    Henry is definitely becoming more of a Mr. Feline Triangle-Face (and I that picture of him with Tallulah is adorable)
    Spotte says ” what this? nice smelling fabric on bed (and table and chair) is new cat bed for me?”


  34. Patsy says:

    I love love love your dishes. Where did you find them? Hubby and I can’t agree on dishes so right now he eats out of the plain white set(I hate them but they belonged to his mother) and I eat out the yellow set, which he hates because it’s so 70’s. I think he might go for a textured pattern like that.


  35. Carpoolqueen says:

    I stopped using mascara two years ago and it made my life so much easier. Occasionally I still wear it, but when I do, I feel like I have giant neon signs pointing to my eyes saying “LOOK AT ME”. Maybe I’m wearing the wrong kind.
    PS – Love the dishes. I’m a dish nut and believe one can never have too many.


  36. Amy says:

    I think the commercial also says that if you stop using it, you’ll go back to skimpy lashes…


  37. Steve says:

    On behalf of Beth, I would like to accept this award even though, as I recall, her post was an insult directed at my love-making skills. Fortunately, I have been reading Cosmo and this blog to help me in the future as the pressure of being married to a younger woman who has long been considered out of my league is a bit intimidating.
    I will spend my prescious day off today celebrating with some of June’s favorite things as this topic was also my idea. I am using a Wisp in between every sip of coffee and chasing it by licking my new tasty Pomegranate lip color. I can’t see what I am doing very well as I already had long eye lashes and this new mascara has turned me into a freak show just this side of Cousin Itt. Now I am both creepy an kooky.
    I need to go to Great Clips right away followed by having my stomach pumped. Thanks June, can I have your real name for the lawsuit?


  38. Laurie says:

    My co-worker used the glaucoma medicine and her lashes did get so lovely and thick. Her eyes are very light blue, too, and didn’t look as though they could have darkened much, if any. First time in my life I wanted whichever gene my father carried for his glaucoma. I’m aging fast, but maybe I’ll die with thick eyelashes.


  39. Gladys says:

    I have used the eyelash stuff. It is amazing but I used the Jan Marin stuff called Revitalize. They took it off the market though because it was suppose to put your eye out or something. No wait that was the Red Rider BB Gun.
    It does have a side effect in that it gives you dark circles under your eyes, I guess its the shadow from your new lashes. Oh and it made my light blue eye dark blue. So I guess Crystal Gail needs to change her song to don’t it make my blue eyes bluer or darker.
    The stuff is basically the same formula used to treat Glacoma and my eye doctor had a coronary when I told him I was using it. Once the ambulance arrived and revived him he told me to discontinue using it that it did not mix well with my Restasis and that like the BB Gun I might put my eye out.


  40. Hulk says:

    Random Tuesday Thoughts:
    ~Huh. Brooke Shields on screen doing something that makes no sense. Pretty much describes every movie/TV show she ever did.
    ~Ironically, the pig only sang while Junie was around like that cartoon frog. This eventually drove June insane, forcing Marvin to institutionalize her. He now watches VH1’s “I Love The Eighties” reruns in peace while eating Post Grape Nuts out of the pink and white bowls.
    ~I wonder if the pets are always thinking, “Why mumma’s one eye always flashing? Why our retinas burning? Maybe Lula find park sooner if not for dark spot in middle of field of vision.”


  41. PJ says:

    I respect Brooke Shields…but have you been paying attention to the commercials during all of your favorite shows? They all star Brooke Shill. What’s up with that?


  42. Yes, and do you know it was accidentally invented by an eye doctor, who noticed that his glaucoma patients were all sporting these really thick luscious lashes? True story. So it may darken the pigment of your eyes, but you will have spider lashes and no glaucoma. It’s a trade-off.


  43. Heather P. says:

    Honey, if you listen to that Brooke Shields commercial, they tell you it will turn your eyes brown. Ok, I want long lashes but not that much!


  44. Cyndi says:

    Henry is getting altogether too big, and I insist that you stop it now. Which reminds me of a family story about MY Uncle Jim giving aspirin to his kitten, which stunted its growth. I’m not suggesting that or anything, but only because it’s too late. Henry is looking more cat-like and less kittenish.


  45. Bell says:

    Okay, give me the scoop on the dishes. Where did Mom find them? Who made them? I need to replace my tattered old ones of a similar pattern and that just might be the one. Do tell.


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