I got 99 problems but a tooth ain’t one

SentinelsTallulah: Lula look out window to earn keep and Henry do it too. Otherwise, Big Hair throw us out. Francis told Lula!

Believe it or not, I am not going to complain about any physical discomfort today. Instead, I have 7845648784568173495844**475%46f5854redrum!redrum!896-038 topics to cover, and I'm certain this won't be an annoying or disjointed post at all.

First and foremost and semi-formally, we wish to award the coveted comment of the week to Juice. You are not seedy. Your comment had tang and zip. You say tomato, I make you the Special of the Week. Okay, I will stop with stupid juice jokes. I've squeezed the life out of this.

Second, I came upon an Etsy site yesterday and I practically screamed and held my head like those teenagers at the Ed Sullivan theater in 1964. GO LOOK AT THE JEWELRY ON THIS SITE! Oh! It screams June. Which would be unfortunate if you wore it to the theater. I love the necklaces with the birds on them. It's too bad my name isn't "Rak-kow! Ra-kow!" because then it would make more sense when that particular jewelry item screamed my name.

Really, what bird goes, "Ra-kow!"? Maybe it's more like, "Squaw!" No, that's too Native American.

Oh, that reminds me. Did I not mention this post will not be tidy? Last night I was having a tres productive evening on Facebook, and Marvin asked, "What are you doing in there?" And I said, "Taking a Facebook quiz to see what my Native American name is."

And he said, "It's Sacadiarrhea."

Who loves himself? Is it Marvin? Is he Mr. Roper, looking at the camera and grinning at his own self? Sacadiarrhea. Okay, so those antibiotics are making me a tad ill. Can't he be NICE, ever?

I had a therapist in LA (because everyone does. You have to show the check stubs from your last three therapy sessions before they renew your license) and her name was Sangita, yet my mother always called her Sacagawea. I'd be complaining about some woe and mom would say, "What does Sacagawea say about it?" OKAY HER NAME IS NOT SACAGAWEA! STOP already.

And because we need to stampede to yet another topic, I have things to show you. Things that involved my day today. Because I am certain you care. Deeply.

Fluers

NurseryI went to the nursery with my friend The Other June today. Did you ever notice whenever I do something with The Other June, I end up showing a picture of me? Could it be because TOJ does not wish to be photographed? Or is it that I really have no friends and TOJ is my Snufalupagus?

At any rate, I did buy these gold pine cone Christmas tree ornaments. Because they were necessary.

I bought a plant, too. Do you remember back in May when I bought some plants and took a picture and no one really knew for sure what it was? I am sure nothing else has burned in your brain since.

Here is the picture I took in May:

Sal

I bought two of these, and they're doing great. Anyway, I bought another one today, and remember how a few people said this was a salvia and I said no, no, no, to both rehab and the salvia idea? Yeah. It's salvia. But it's also called sage. Which is where I got confused.

So, am I supposed to cut it back for fall, or what? Because it's 8,000 times bigger now.

I also had my hair did today. Since you are seeing my friendless self above, you get to see the before hair.

Hair

Here is the after hair, taken with the webcam, and let's talk about the whole "God approves" stream of light coming in. It's like this photo is singing, "AAAAHHHHHH!" Anyway, I went more brown. For autumn. Because it's 106 out. Autumn is just around the corner!

And finally, because I am certain you are not TOTALLY OVER ME at this point, I did want to remind you about book club. Yes, I'm WORKING ON A BUTTON. Geez. Anyway, we are reading The Fountainhead and we will meet here at this blog on September 30 at–did I say 9 p.m. Eastern? I think I did. I will publish my deep thoughts on the book at that time, then you can come comment right then, if you can–or later, if you wish.

We are all bringing snacks and drinks and sacks of diarrhea.

0 thoughts on “I got 99 problems but a tooth ain’t one

  1. A few days ago half of my face got burned. My husband, while being sympathetic, has been refering to me as Harvey, as in Harvey Dent/Twoface from the Batman movie. Yeah. I think it’s a guy thing. It’s a good thing our spouses can’t get together, because who knows what flattering nicknames they’d think up for us.

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  2. For some reason dentists have access to pain killers and antibiotics that cause great abdominal confusion. My suggestion would be to stick a pumpkin seed shell between one of Marvin’s eyeteeth and the gum in his sleep then send him to the dentist after the infection takes hold to see what they give him in the nature of a painkiller or anitbiotic so you can see how his innards react.

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  3. I have several of the salvias, too! I just got them. They’re supposed to attract butterflies. Wish I had known that in the spring when it was butterfly season. About the only thing they’re attracting now is the attention of the dogs. “Ooh, flowers! Where there are flowers, there is DIRT!”
    Love the hair color!

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  4. I love the hair! I do believe that a few months ago I mentioned a darker color would be good for you…I will alert my husband that for once I was right about something.

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  5. Oh my goodness. You picked me? I’m gushing! (Get it? Gushing? Juice?)
    When should I expect the certificate in the mail? I plan to frame it and hang it in my cubicle. Then my life will be complete!

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  6. It’s a good thing Marvin doesn’t comment.
    I predict he would get comment of the week every week!
    June, when you buy a plant why don’t you ask them how you should care for it? Just a suggestion.
    I checked out that jewelry site. I loved those bird necklaces too, but they kind of reminded me of a sparrow that went splat against our window. They lay,(lie) kind of flat.
    Your hair looks really nice.
    Lastly, I went to Juice’s blog. I have conjured up visions of she and Hulk meeting.
    Hulk: She likes football and her eyes look bright.

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  7. KW,
    I had one of those tag things that TOLD me how to take care of it, and I put it right here in this top drawer of this desk, but three months later it is gone.

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  8. I’ve been chuckling all day about Sacajawea the therapist. Your mom is funEE. Marvin is funny, too. Does it take him a moment or two to come up with his comebacks, or does it just roll off his tongue?
    OMG—you and Marvin and your mom should do a reality tv show. Hanging with the Gardens.
    I love the new hair color, but I’m blinded by the cleavage and necklace. I think God approves of those, too!

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